This Full House Archive

Category: So, You From Joisey?

You Say Joisey, I Say What?!?
Because, I am all about making blogging fun again (shuddup!) my friend NYCPatty posted an Accent Vlog and, well, dang if I can't hear it (her accent, I mean) because we live from across the river (or, the rivuh) from each other, I guess.

I know, I know, vlogging's not my thing, either. Still, it's better than another post about mommybloggers going rogue or, the friggin' weather (here, in Jersey) right?

[cue the crickets]

Riiiiiight.

Here's mine:

Okay, what'dya think; hear anything?

[someone please shut those crickets up, already]

Fiiiiiiiiiine. Fughettaboutit! Want to play along?

If you want to follow along or do the Accent Vlog yourself, here are the words/questions:

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught
- What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
- What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
- What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
- What do you call gym shoes?
- What do you say to address a group of people?
- What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
- What do you call your grandparents?
- What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
- What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
- What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
Personally, I'd love to hear from my Mid-West friends and, most especially, folks from the South, like, oh, I dunno, Nashville, or maybe even as far as Plano, TX, even…YO!

In the meantime, have a GREAT weekend and if anybody needs me, I'll be upstairs, caulking holes and mopping floors, baby.

Friggin' rain!

2/28 UPDATED TO ADD: Yay for BusyMom, Dawn, Melisa, Heather and Weasel Momma for playing along, with me, too!

Now, it's your turn — help a dork (like me) make blogging fun, again — go ahead, you know you want to!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House
February 25, 2011
Feeling Squirrel-y?

I have issues (don't we all?) and, if you were to ask me to list, oh, I dunno, at least 5 of them, off the top of my head, they would be as follows:

Dirty dishes in the sink: especially, when the dishwasher is dirty. Drives me nucking futz, to the point where even my neighbors know when, "THE DISHWASHER IS DIRTY…DAMMIT!

Silent treatments: are like nails ripping into chalkboard (you're welcome!) the absolute worst form of torture, right?

Wet towels on the floor: especially, when the washer is empty (see dirty dishes, above.)

Doofus-Dog on the couch: makes me itchy.

Squirrels: ransacking the bird feeders (see picture above) I hate, Hate, HAte, HATe, absolutely freaking HATE squirrels. Aaaand, they don't like me, either. How do I know?

This morning, I was able to address 2 outta 5 of said issues, to my complete and total satisfaction.

[blank stare]

The fact my husband, Garth (not his real name) doesn't seem to have these sort of issues, is just plain weird, don'tcha think?

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

February 11, 2011
Sundays in My City:
Beware the Icicle Slayer

I know, I know, enough with the snowmaggedon posts, already. Still. This winter has made for some really beautiful pictures — here in Jersey, anyway — like these ice swans captured by my 15 yo, in our backyard, the other day. She's majoring in photo journalism and, well, the girl has a great eye, no?

Oh, and the icicles? They are EPIC this year. I'm so glad I took this shot outside our den/guestroom/laundryroom/playroom…before they ALL melted.

Or, before my oldest (a.k.a. Holly the Icicle Slayer) got her hands on them and, truth be told, having caught a glimpse of her darkside, you'd never know that, IRL, she's really an Italian literature and arts major, right?

I was a little frightened for the wreath's safety.

So, I thought it was probably a good idea to, you know, step back and put down my brand new camera, frigalicious as it is (yes, it's a word!) not to mention, put away the rest of the Christmas decorations…I know…shuddup!

But, not before grabbing this shot, as she claimed her trophy and, well, thank goodness her little brother wasn't home to, you know, turn it into a weapon and pretend it was an ice saber, or something.

Before it melted, of course — Happy Sunday!!!

To see other scenes from around the world, check out Unknown Mami’s Sundays in My City.

Oh, and feel free to clean off a chair, sit down and visit my photo journal or my Flickr photostream.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

February 6, 2011
You See, This is EXACTLY Why I Love Reading Other People’s Blogs!

It's been a rough couple of days/weeks/months here at This Full House of sticky socks and crunchy feet.

Without going into too much detail (you're welcome!) for fear of boring you to the point where you experience permanent decrease in vision, or your head explodes (I know, too late, stay with me here, just a little longer, okay?) it's just the typical drama that goes along with living in close quarters, in the wintertime and raising kids, who are old enough to, you know, talk back.

Which, in the long term, is a good thing, seeing as my children will most definitely display brilliant moments of absolute resilience or, at the very least, be able to hold their own in a conversation.

Me, not so much.

I'm just too gosh-darned tired to argue and, may the parenting gods on high forgive me, but, I sort of like it when I hear other seemingly rational and somewhat more educated people, you know, complain about their kids.

Inevitably, the guilt sets in, hard, and typically in the darkest of moments — like, hearing when a family in one of our schools suddenly loses a child — and, well, I just can't imagine living without either one of mine.

Until, the next time my oldest is running late, my son leaves his jacket behind, or my youngest interrupts a conversation, while my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I try to convince my middle girl that parents are NOT, you know, as dumb as we seem (which is most days, btw) well, every day, it's something, right?

[sound of crickets chirping]

So, there I was, just sitting here, at my desk, minding my own business (sort of) reading other people's blogs (hence, last parenthesis) when the most amazingly fantastical thing happened.

The sun came out.

Then, suddenly…um…uh…funny, I sort of forgot what the heck was bothering me in the first place.

Aaaaand, well, I just love that, you know?

Happy Love Thursday!

UPDATED TO ADD: Due to a sports-related emergency (Gatorade blew up in son's gym bag) he found his jacket in the front office, today (YAY!) but, seems to have misplaced one of his wrestling shoes (Ummmmm) bet you didn't know they cost an arm (possibly a leg, even) or, that there was such a thing as wrestling shoes, either, right?!?

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

February 3, 2011
Parenting Tip #13,100,785:
Anything Boys Can Do, Girls Can Do Better!
Unless You Live in Our House
Or, Happen to Play the Clarinet!

Hey, look, finally, a post that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the weather (anyone mentions anything about snow and the ground hog gets it!) however, I will say that we're each getting a little sick (and tired) of all the closeness, around here.

"Girls go to college to get more knowledge!"

Especially, my two youngest children.

"But, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider!"

See what I mean?

"That's not right!"

Thank goodness, the two oldest girls have my back.

"You mean, more stupid!"

Sort of.

"Keep it up and ya'll going to Jupiter!"

Long story, short (you're welcome) at our house, the war of girls vs. boys has been going on for quite some time now and, well, if you ask me, it really doesn't matter (whether you're a boy, or girl, I mean) they're ALL driving me nucking futs, too!

"Smart Alec said that playing the clarinet is stupid!"

Et tu minivan?

"What did you say?"

Hope's first choice was to play the flute [cringe] but, I told her maybe the clarinet would be, you know, way cooler, considering there really aren't enough female clarinet players in the world.

"I told him maybe he should think about playing the clarinet, then!"

[snort!]

"How many clarinets does it take to change a light bulb?"

Either way, it just occurred to me, that I forgot to ask what instrument Smart Alec plays.

"Clarinets don't have light bulbs, STUPID!"

Then again, I guess it really doesn't matter.

"Hey, you just passed our house!"

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

"Where are you taking us, Mom?

[blows bangs out of eyes]

"Next stop….JUPITER!"

Stupid ground hog!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

February 2, 2011
The House Next Door

It's sad, really. A lonely, frozen, barren, wasteland comes to mind. Gloom crashes in like icy waves, extinguising all of the warmth from my body, culminating in a moment of complete and unavoidable despair.

The sadness is overwhelming.

It clouds the eyes and turns my thoughts toward darker days.

This house is old. The woman living inside is even older. At 104, she has outlived her children and even some of her grandchildren. What have her eyes seen? How many times has her heart been broken and…yet…it continues to beat?

It's amazing, really. A sturdy, unsinkable ship comes to mind; made with strong hands and bound by family ties that, although broken long ago, weathered yet another storm.

Yes, this house is old. The woman living inside is even older. It is her home.

Grace lives there and her next door neighbor's name is Hope.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

January 29, 2011
Cloudy With a Chance of Snowballs

I love snow [ducks to avoid flying snowballs] working up enough courage to actually get behind the wheel of a car and driving in it, not so much!

I got into my first and only car wreck [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed] while driving home from work…in a snow storm.

It was bad; my body hurts just thinking about it.

I was only 20 and, well, let's just say I've spent the last 20-something years, doing my best to avoid, having to drive…in the snow.

Until, I had children.

My kids don't like to walk, anywhere (I think it's a law, or something) partly, because we live in an area where the ratio between accessible sidewalks to the actual number of cars on the road is equal to the proportion of the accumulated snowfall.

In other words, no one shovels their gosh-darned sidewalks, anymore, DAGNABIT!

"Can I stay home, today?"

[frown]

"Yes…WAIT…I mean, NO!"

I fear for my middle girl. She attends a specialized high school 25 miles away from home and, well, her bus travels some of the craziest roads known to the Jersey Shore as…THE PARKWAY!!!

[shiver]

"Sorry, kiddo, but you have finals, today!"

Aaaaand, she was out sick, yesterday, already, DAGNABIT!!!

"Can you pick me up from school, today?"

[bites lower lip]

"Um, NO!"

What? This particular kid also takes a bus and, well, who am I to deny someone a chance to do their job, right?

"Can you pick me up from school, today?"

[heavy sigh]

"Uh, NO!"

What? Aaaand, this kid can literally spit from our house to the school, we live THAT close.

"Now, remember, if the snow gets really, really bad, mommy's gonna park the car down the street and we're gonna walk home, okay?"

[eyes go wide]

"ALL THE WAY FROM SCHOOL?!?"

YES! Because, there's a wooded path leading from this kid's school, to the adjacent neighborhood and, well, I fear THAT parking lot, the most!

"It'll be an adventure!"

Besides, we're supposed to get like, 10 inches and I've abandoned cars, for less.

"…so, our area can expect a light dusting to no accumulation…until, tonight."

PHEW!

[looks out the window]

BALLS!

Guess what? The weather dudes were wrong (GASP!) I spun out in the CVS parking lot getting milk on the way home from school this morning and, well, it looks like my kids are walking!

[pulls up hoodie and blows bangs out of eyes]

If anyone needs me, I'll be outside, cleaning off my car (for the eleventy-hundrendth time) and pretending like I'm a REAL good stay-at-home mother.

Stupid Snowmaggedon!!!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

January 26, 2011
Sundays in My City: Winter Blues

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

To see other city scenes from around the world, check out Unknown Mami’s Sundays in My City.

Oh, and feel free to clean off a chair, sit down and visit my photo journal or my Flickr photostream.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping

January 16, 2011
Love = 167.225472 m2

Our house is about 1,800 square feet — that's the equivalent of some folk's swimming pools, here in Jersey — and it looks even smaller, from the sidewalk.

Understandably, it's hard to imagine 6 people living in such a house.

"Wow!!!"

It's really funny to watch first-time visitors walk through our front door, stare up at the high ceilings, blink both their eyes, rapidly, as they try to center their gaze on the back wall, some 25 feet or so away and then, you know, physically stumble.

"It looks a lot bigger on the inside!"

It's an optical illusion, really — not to mention, they've just seen the biggest room in the house — still, we get by.

Unless, someone gets sick (which, during creeping crud season, is pretty much once a week) or, we're hosting a sleepover (what I like to refer to as, slumberless parties) when no one is sick, of course!

"Wait, how many kids DID you invite?"

Aaaaand, well, reorganizing a corporation could NOT be anymore challenging than rearranging our house.

"Where DID you put them all?"

Considering, my brother and I were raised in an even smaller house (6, including the bathroom) it's funny to think that my own mother had trouble visualizing the logistics of making room for 10 more very-near-to-their-adult-size teenagers.

"Only 5 of them stayed over."

[whispering]

"Where are they?"

You know what's even funnier?

Watching my husband, Garth (not his real name) both eyes darting left, right and then left again, several times and finally gingerly walk through the front door, expecting a surprise attack, land minds, or something.

"Relax…they…are in the girls' room."

It's quite ironic, really — considering, it's hard for friends to imagine how all 3 of my daughters share the same room and, you know, live to complain about — then again, at least they have a bedroom door.

"Don't they want more room?"

[shrugging shoulders]

"Apparently, not."

Until, about 1:30 in the morning.

"Sorry, mom, but we sorta got hungry."

Judging by all the empty cans of soup AND containers of chocolate frosting, I found tossed in the kitchen sink, I would say so.

"You know, you coulda stayed in the living room?"

[shrugs shoulders]

"It's no big deal."

I know (DAMMIT!) still, over the years, I've learned to be careful not to complain about the house, too much — no matter how frustrating, stressful or claustrophobic it may be, especially, in the wintertime — and most especially, NOT in front of my kids.

Seeing as it's, you know, their home, too.

"Besides, my friends think our house is all comfy-cozy inside."

Aaaaand, well, I just love that, you know?

Happy Love Thursday!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House / TFH Gone Shopping

January 13, 2011
Our Minivan, By Any Other Name, Would Smell Like Feet

Gave my minivan a snowhawk the other day and now the rest of the cars in the neighborhood, you know, want one!

I was cruising The Motherhood the other day and found an interesting article picked from the headlines by Emily (because, she's really smart like that) written by Nick Bunkley of the New York Times entitled, "Mocked as UnCool, The Minivan Rises Again," where he asks the question:

Could driving a minivan, the ultimate embodiment of the suburban family vehicle, ever be considered cool?

Didn't you hear? According to some car makers (rhymes with Schmoyota) we need a little swag-guh put back into our wagon-layden suburban driveways.

Me, I'd settle for a quick resurfacing, or a little less snow.

Whassup with all the labels…can't mom and dad just live and let drive…um…whatever the heck you want?

Everything ends up smelling like sour feet, anyway.

As a longtime 7-passenger vehicle enthusiast (i.e. co-owner of our kids' personal taxi service) I really never understood all the rage against the minivan.

Until, this morning.

"Holy crap!"

10 days post Snowmaggedon and the secondary roads here in Jersey are still cruddy (3 feet make for a lot of snow) to the point where you can't fit 2 minivans on the same street, at 1 time.

"Move over, you stupid Land Rover!"

So, I'm playing chicken with my neighbors getting kids to (and from) school.

"They're not stopping, Mommy!!!"

Aaaand I feel forced to pullover, once more, and make room for folks driving their flashier cars and not so much because I am passive aggressive like that.

[waves]

"You're welcome!"

You could say I'm also teaching my children that, no matter the situation, or the type of car you drive, you CAN be the bigger person, right?

"But, she didn't say thank you, Mommy?"

Then again, there is a reason why I chose Bertha (she's my car) in a lovely shade of suburban assault.

"That's okay, maybe next time…we won't be so nice!"

She'll have to try and pass me, after school.

[pats dashboard]

"Right, Bertha!"

Why, yes, I've always named my cars and, honestly, would you mess with a woman named Bertha?

[sound of crickets chirping]

Stay-at-home mom, my rear bumper!

© 2003 – 2011 This FULL House Blog / This FULL House Reviews

January 7, 2011