Author: Liz@ThisFullHouse

  • Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Yes, I Lie Like a Rug, My Name SHOULD Be Matt!

    Been working A LOT of hours, lately (SHOULD be feeling blessed, I know) younger kids are feeling ornery (no, I don't blame them) older kids been picking up the slack (thanks, you guys) and, well, let's just say I've pretty much blown any chance (as if, I were even close to being, you know, in the running) of winning "Mother of the Year," after both my 8 and 10 year-olds announced:

    "Things are just not the same, since you went back to work!"

    [shot to the heart]

    You know when I said that it's a mother's right to decide what works best for her family?  Well, I lied!  Like a rug!  It is so not THAT easy.

    "Can't we just go back to the way it used to be?"

    [salt to the wound]

    So, for your viewing pleasure, courtesy of a blast from my blogging past, I present to you Dancing Matt 2008!

    [Note: Includes really awesome music and feel free to go and grab a beverage — it is SO worth watching all the way through — oh, and I triple dog-dare you NOT to smile!]

    Thanks for the dance, Buzz and (if you find yourself all, like, "Who the hell are you?") you just can call me, Matt!

    Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
    Tag, you're it:  

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    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • 11 Things I Learned, Raising a ManChild

    Happy 11th Birthday to my ManChild and…NO!…I did NOT let your sisters color their hair…until they were in middle school, anyways and…YES!…I am well aware of the fact that you are now in the 5th grade!

    [checks calendar]

    So, you know, you can always try me again, next year.

    P.S. I love you!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

  • You Must Be Tired, Because You’ve Been Running Through My Mind, ALL DAY!

    Glen and 1st snow '09

    Glen in his best Aberzombie, Jr. pose.

    I've carpooled with Carpooling Mom for several years, now — which, by having 4 kids, in 4 different schools and having said that, means I really can't tell you exactly how long, since, you know, I don't remember — this year, I am in charge of the morning/afternoon run(s) to my 10-year-old son's school.

    "Do I really have to sit with ALL those boys?"

    Which means that my youngest daughter (she's 8) suffers through at least 10 minutes of fart jokes and, well, whatever 9 and 10-year-old boys, you know, talk about.

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    Okay, so, just in case you do NOT know what 9 and 10-year-old boys talk about (yes, I see YOU, over there, hunching down in the back, surrounded by headless dolls and terribly pink lip gloss) let me tell you what they talked about, this week.

    Picking-up girls!

    Yes, all 3 of the boys were comparing their best pick-up lines:

    1.  You must be a library book, because I'm checking YOU out!

    2.  I must be a paperclip, because I'm attracted to you LIKE A MAGNET!

    3.  I must be dead, because you look like an angel!

    The first one is my favorite and I know what you're thinking (maybe) so, like, which one did my son come up with?

    [drum roll]

    "I don't have one!"

    Perhaps it's because he's got sisters.  I doubt it.  Since, one of the boys has got 3 sisters, too.

    "Wait, wait, I've got one!!!!"

    [see title of post]

    "Holly says that will just get you slapped!"

    He's turning 11, tomorrow (the oldest kid on the carpool) so, between his sisters (and me) I'm hoping, you know, he can at least begin to set some sort of precedence, for other fledgling teenage boys in the neighborhood.

    "Yeah, well, maybe that's why she does NOT have a boyfriend!"

    Somehow, I doubt it though.

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Wordless Wednesday: 365 Days – Tired Mom, Walking

    Tired Mom, Walking

    Welcome to my world…where EVERYDAY, is laundry day!

    Another snapshot courtesy of my 365 Days microblog project — where I'm taking a self-imposed timeout, every day, to post wordless (you're welcome!)

    Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
    Tag, you're it:   

    Also, I'm letting it ALL hang out on Flickr

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Bloggers Unite for Haiti

    Bloggers unite for haiti

    In response to the 7.0 magnitude earthquake that rocked Haiti a week ago (today) BloggersUnite for Haiti is asking bloggers (like me) from around the world to share information about this disaster and how people around the world (like us) can provide aid to ongoing relief efforts.

    Why?

    Last Tuesday's earthquake has reduced large parts of the the country's capitol, Port Au Prince, to rubble and devastated their already poor infrastructure making the task of delivering aid extremely difficult.

    Official estimates from the region say that approximately 3 million people have been affected by this disaster and that somewhere between 45,00 to 50,000 people are may have died as a result of the earthquake.

    How can we help?

    Support Doctors Without Borders in Haiti

    For example, websites and blogs can use this button to let others know how to support Doctors Without Borders work in Haiti and 60 other countries around the world.  Here's the code:

    <a
    href="https://donate.doctorswithoutborders.org/SSLPage.aspx?pid=197&hbc=1&source=ADQ1001E1D01"><img 
    src="http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/images/donate/button-emergency-relief-160.png"
    alt="Support Doctors Without Borders in Haiti" border="none"
    height="200" width="160" /></a>

    Or, share this list of organizations helping with Haiti Relief:

    Okay, why SHOULD we help, really?

    Because, nice matters (no matter, how small the gesture) but, indifference to human tragedy (no matter, what part of the planet we live on) sucks wet poodle!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Movers, Shakers and (sometimes inadvertent) Garbage Pickers

    Tweeting Molly

    I'm an impulsive mover.  I move things.  From here, to there, or maybe it will look better in THAT corner.

    If I had a dollar, for every time my husband, Garth [not his real name] came home to find the house looking a little, you know, different?  Hmph.  Well, the poor guy could use a pair of industrial strength shin guards!

    "YOUCH, when DID THIS get in here!?!?"

    I'd be doing dishes (yes, dishwasher is STILL broken) and I'll be staring out the kitchen window, when, all of a sudden, it would hit me.

    "Maybe the kitchen table would look better in the dining room?"

    It's a sickness, I know.

    "We'll be there, tomorrow, between 12 and 3."

    There is ALWAYS Laundry!

    So, I, once again, ignored the growing pile of clean laundry (don't try this at home, I AM A PROFESSIONAL!) and continued to deny the fact that the holidays have been over for, like the last two weeks (it's gonna be a Valentine's tree) and started, you know, moving stuff.

    Desk looks like a television hutch!
    From here, to there, etc… (desk looks like a television hutch, because, you know, it was) to make room for a new couch!

    [heart's all a flutter]

    I've been saving up for this baby (yes, with MY own money) and FINALLY bought one (yes, with REAL money) with the intention of cozey-ing-up our game-slash-laundry-slash-media-slash-mom's hideout-slash-playroom.

    "I'll MAKE IT fit!"

    Did I mention, the room is cozy, or that the doorway, to get in, is even, you know, a cozier fit?

    Doorway to Cozy

    "It ain't gonna fit through that door, lady."

    Der.  I know.  That's why I spent the rest of the morning, cleaning up after the dawg (two whole hanging baskets full of Doofus-dung, thank goodness it was frozen, you're welcome!) so that the delivery dudes could bring Molly (we name our cars, too)  through the back door.

    "Mierda!"

    Now, I don't remember much of my high school Spanish (brain cells are at a premium, these days) how-evuh, I do speak several languages…of POOP!

    Miss Molly

    Long story, short (you're welcome) Miss Molly fit right in and it's as if I designed the room around her, right?

    Cozy is as cozy does!

    Riiiiight.  Color my decorating style as, "sheer dumb luck," whatever, sometimes, change is good — I am THRILLED with the end result and, well, guess where I'm spending the rest of MY morning?

    Go ahead, I'll wait.

    Garbage picking Doofus Dawg! 

    Aaaaaand, YES, I am totally ignoring the fact that I forgot to lock the cabinet and Doofus-Dawg got into the garbage, AGAIN!!!

    [heavy sigh]

    Some things NEVER change, stupid dawg!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Wordless Wednesday: I Saw it on Twitter!

    Sharp Turn Ahead

    Title:  Sharp Turn, Ahead (1/9/10)

    We rarely see blue jays out (during the day) but, this boy must have been really hungry to brave the crowd of chickadees and tit mouse (yes, it's a bird!) chattering around the bird feeder — although, they do have a reputation of being the bully of the birdosphere.

    How do I know?  I saw it on Twitter!

    This snapshot is in a series of pictures I'm taking as a part of my 365 Days of 2010 microblog project (I got the idea from my friend, Rachel at A Southern Fairytale) it's where I post something, every day, without any words (you're welcome!)

    Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
    Tag, you're it:  

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Writing Challenge #5: The Job – I Don’t Do Ironing

    Write of passage

    This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging and brainchild of my friend, Mrs. Flinger.  Today’s challenge was to write about your first "real" job.

    ——————————————————————-

    My twin brother left very early in the morning, to begin his basic training in Louisiana (I think) and I, however, was already running late.

    "Did you remember to iron your father a shirt?"

    I shook my head and reached for my mother's can of Aqua Net.

    "Well, don't forget…"

    I kissed my mother's cheek and pretended not to notice it was wet, or that she tasted slightly salty.  She slowly put on her rings, wiped around her eyes with her finger, one last time and then finally slipped her watch around her wrist.

    "Have a good day."

    She smiled, awkwardly. 

    "You, too."

    I unplugged the curling iron, closed my eyes, held my breath and
    sprayed like there was no tomorrow, fully knowing that it would take at
    least 3 shampoos to get it all out again, the next day, anyway.

    [cough-cough]

    I leaned out the bathroom door, sticky hairspray can in hand, inhaled deeply, and realized that I had once again, burned my toast.

    "Dammit!"

    I squinted at the kitchen clock, its face stained to a pale yellow from years of sitting over pan steak and fried chicken, and saw that I was now, going to be very late.

    "Where are my damn cigarettes?"

    I shrugged my shoulders and pretended to not notice my father's terribly blood-shot eyes.

    "Dunno, but I'll have your shirt ironed in a minute, okay?"

    He quickly turned his back before answering me.

    "What time do you have to be at work, again?"

    I told him not to worry about it, but he'd already closed the bathroom door, causing the clock on the wall to shake, as if I needed anymore reminding.

    "…I'll be fine."

    I turned and hurried into my room, knocked my right hip into the microwave cart and nearly sent the Pillsbury Dough Boy cookie jar sailing.

    "Eight-thirty!?!?"

    My mother left the ironing board next to my bed (thankfully) with the iron turned on and I pretended not to see the large pile of used tissues lying on my dresser.

    I began to iron the collar, sleeves, shoulders, and sides, carefully coating each section with a fine mist of spray starch and finally finishing with the back of my father's work shirt — newly washed and steamed to a crisp white and smelling slightly of lavender.

    "See you, daddy."

    I kissed my father's cheek, pointed at his shirt on my bed and pretended not to notice that he'd forgotten, or deliberately neglected, to shave.

    "What time are you coming home?"

    I grabbed my purse from the kitchen chair and turned to answer him, but he'd already closed my bedroom door.

    "I love you, daddy."

    However late, I may be.

    [Note: Although, I get how it wasn't the best of mornings, for ANY of us, my new boss, the president of a chemical company, was a little less good-natured about it, at the time and 7 years later, the first words to my future husband were, "I DON'T DO IRONING!"]

    Other folks participating, today:

    Write on!

    [Click here to view past Writing Challenges]

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • This Ones Tricky, You Have to Use Imaginary Numbers, Like Eleventeen

    This Full House Rock Band

    I give up, you figure them out…

    When I told my husband, Garth [not his real name] I was pregnant with our youngest, it didn't come as much of a surprise, really; not like the first time, I mean, when he closed his eyes, fell back on the bed, grabbed his head (with both hands) and sort of just laid there, for a few minutes, moaning.

    We had already signed the contract on this house (less full, at the time) and then came Valentine's Day and, well, he WAS there when it ALL happened.

    Three more (+) signs, later:

    "Well, at least, no one will have to sit alone, on the rollercoaster."

    Then, all of a sudden, our lives turned into one big Dr. Seuss book:

    One Kid, two kids,

    Meh, what's one more kid

    Some have brown eyes, except their brother

    Don't ask me why

    Go ask your mother.

    Little did we know, all those days (and nights) ago, how prophetic my husband words would be.

    GAH!  Now, I'm speaking in rhyme?  Hang on, this will be real quick. 

    [slams head on laptop]

    There, that did the trick…I mean…where was I?

    Rollercoasters?  Feh, they're for wussies.  Raising tweens and teens?  Best get your barf bags ready, now.  Not only will they make you eat your words…

    "I will never YELL at my kids, ever."

    They'll make you chew on them a bit, first, before spitting them all over your sensible shoes, too!

    "HANG UP YOUR WET TOWELS, DAMMIT!!!"

    Wet towels.  Tragic.  I know.

    [sound of puking]

    I got sick, this week…NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT!

    [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

    I know, because I got my period at the same time (you're welcome!) it's how I roll and, well, best get your heating pads ready, now.  Being a woman sucks.  Being a woman of a certain age, sucks wet poodle.

    "Go back to bed, Mah!"

    It was already dark, the kids were ALL home from school (thank you, Carpooling Mom!) but, it was the quiet that woke me.

    "Buh, dinner…breakfast dishes still…I gotta go…um."

    Stupid analgesics.

    "Your sick, we got this."

    Aaaand, with a slightly confused and saddened heart, I turned toward the stairs, thinking that perhaps it was good that the kids were learning to take care of themselves (jinx) and slowly climbed closer to the realization that, one day, they won't be needing me, at all.

    "Sheesh…she's like a kid, sometimes."

    Judging by the frequency of my bathroom stops, I imagine it will be real soon, too.

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • TLC Book Tour: The Body Scoop for Girls (Pssst, It Ain’t All Pretty)

    The Body Scoop for Girls

    Yes, my mother and I had "the talk," at least once, that I can remember.  The day I got my first period, my mother and my aunt set up a lounge chair in my grandmother's backyard, handed me a glass of lemonade, saying something about sitting in the sun being "good for you" and I still remember thinking that, somehow, the rest of the neighborhood knew.

    "You're a woman, now."

    That, along with being herded into a darkened gym with the rest of my 7th grade class, to watch someone's mother (or, older sister maybe) wrestle with a "sanitary belt" (I know, I'm old, shuddup!) was the extent of my education into womanhood — until, I had children.

    "Don't be afraid to ask mommy ANYTHING!"

    [pointing down there]

    "What dis called?"

    Um…wait…I know this one.

    "That's your…um…pooh-tee."

    Say it with me…FAIL!  Then, a mom friend of mine told me about a body book for girls put out by American Girl and I immediately ran out and bought 2 copies (1 for me and 1 for the girls) and it was good — until, I had teenagers.

    [lifting bra and pointing at, well, you know]

    "Is this normal?"

    [eyes go wide]

    I have the extreme pleasure of being the 1st stop on the TLC Book Tour for January 2010, featuring The Body Scoop for Girls by Jennifer Ashton, M.D., Ob-Gyn.

    Got lemonade?

    (more…)