Before Social Media, Some of Us Would Use Our Pregnancies, As Timelines

Never being one to tempt fate…[pausing to knock on wood]…I am absolutely sure of very few things in life, like:

• We are all out of milk, eggs, cereal or bread (probably, all four).
• If there is a mosquito in the house, I will find it.
• I will have to either thank or apologize to my husband, at least once, every day.
• Not before the cat uses my stomach as a springboard and pounces on my husband’s head sometime around 4 a.m.
• Someone will have forgotten to switch the laundry (most probably, me).
• I will snort at least once, at any given time, in a conversation.

Ohhhhhh…and that the water main in front of our house will break AND at the most inopportune time too!

Then something will happen to exacerbate the situation:  like one of the three police officers, unlucky enough to pull duty on a Sunday afternoon at the beginning of a holiday week, drives through the river that is running through our street, which inadvertently buckles the pavement and creates a mini-geyser.

Finally, we will begin to see the humor (most probably, on Facebook):