This Full House Archive

Tag: thisfullhouse.com

  • Power of Positive Thinking, Richardless

    Um, yeah, about my last post, sorry about that.  Admitting that I sometimes experience dark feelings of angst and perhaps rely on other people's happiness, way too much, is not very conducive to engaging in an easy-breezy, go ahead take your shoes off and get comfortable, sort of conversation, right? 

    Also, not my typical writing style.

    I blame it on having been home-bound for the last few weeks, harboring a fugitive kidney stone (his name is Richard, Dick for short) then being slammed with a wicked head cold, just when I was really beginning to feel pretty good — especially, from the neck up.

    Compounded by consuming large amounts of mindless TV (stay away from Bravo, it's highly addictive!) while the children and my husband took turns tucking me into the couch, or bringing me fresh boxes of tissues and herbal tea.

    Then, it hit me like a ton of idioms:  I was suffering from a man cold and…just ask any woman and they'll tell you…that shitz is near fatal, you guys!

    So, last night I took my Nyquil (like a big girl) and said to myself…SELF!…you need to get rid of that shitz REAL FAST!

    I am very happy to report that Richard (Dick for short) has indeed left the building, my head is clearing up and I am a MUCH better woman for it.

    [incoming text message]

    "I think you got me you filthy animal."

    Good thing, seeing as I gave my husband my man cold.

    So, please, for the love of Garth (not his real name) take care of yourselves, have a fantastic weekend (yes, ALL 3 of you) and if anyone needs me I'll be upstairs pretending to be asleep.

    Until then I remain forever yours,

    Richardless

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

     

  • Mom Blogging Pain Scale

    Mom Blogger Pain Scale

    My mom and I were talking and both happened to glance outside her kitchen window and watched, as my 9 year-old tried to get her 15 year-old sister, who was reading a book at the time, to play with her.

    Judging by her stomping off and kicking her brother's scooter, it was pretty clear to the both of us that her attempts were, you know, unsuccessful.

    "I think she caught us looking."

    Because, the kid quickly turned and thought better about leaving the scooter in the middle of the cul-de-sac.

    "She's going to kill me, that one is."

    Okay, I know, yes I was being overly dramatic (sort of) but, after 17 years of raising kids (and killer dust bunnies) I'm pretty tired at this point in the game.

    Does it show?

    I fully expect that they (i.e. non-parental units living in my house) will figure this out, soon enough, especially once I finally get those iron bars mounted to their bedroom window(s).

    "It's never easy, no matter how old your kids get."

    My mother was right, of course (just like with most other things, as I've learned over the years) I swear, she's got this sixth sense about her. 

    It's like the woman knows what I'm thinking, or, at least, what she thinks I need to hear.

    "Nope, you never stop being a parent."

    How DOES she DO that?

    Then, it hit me (as the most obvious things tend to do) like a smack to the forehead.

    "Moooooooom, can you PLEASE do something about her?"

    It's called validation and pretty much the reason why I started contributing to the blogging community, almost 8 years ago, in the first place.

    "What would you suggest…hanging…crucifixion?"

    My 15-year-old suggested that a burning at the stake to be more than sufficient.

    Scooter

    Contrary to the latest blogging statistics and demographics, I chose to go outside and scooter, instead!

    "Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

    Un-motorized, even.

    [sound of crickets]

    Silly mom bloggers.

    Edited to Add:  I drew the Mom Blogging Pain Scale (not bad, eh?) but, the photo was taken by my 15 year-old and she doesn't know that I used it (yet) but, she will be okay with it, once she sees that I gave her full credit.

    [heavy sigh]

    Blogging used to be a lot easier, you know?

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • The Writing on the Back Door

    The Writing on the Door Upclose You know when stuff you read, or something someone says, makes you think so hard, that your eyes begin to cross with concentration and then you clench your jaw in absolute frustration, until you finally give up and go all:

    "Look, you trying to tell me something, or what?"

    Me, either.

    Quite frankly, I try not to read into stuff…too much…because, well, with 2 teens and 2 tweens in the house (yeah, I know, right?) my head hurts enough, already.

    Like most of my mom friends — especially, those of us raising a bunch of raging hormones, that walk and talk, but refuse to tell you ANYTHING and dang if a person couldn't go blind, rolling their eyes like that — I have become somewhat of an expert at dodging emotional grenades.

    Until, one of my kids drops the h-bomb.

    "I hate my life."

    It doesn't matter which kid says it, really, because the sad truth of it is, each of them have said it, at least once and did I mention my youngest is 9?

    "Don't you dare slam that…"

    SLAM!

    She's got a wicked arm, that one, which reminds me, I should really look into signing her up for softball.

    What? 

    I mean, she is the youngest and, well, empathizing with a mom friend, whose daughter recently turned hormonal, "Welcome to the dark ages."

    I quickly reassured my friend that the black cloud will indeed lift, around the time our kids turn 12.

    [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

    I didn't bother mentioning the fact that they then become teenagers, because, heck, what do I know and the poor woman looked as if she needed a Tylenol, already.

    SLAM!

    I'm not even sure that their bedroom door is going to hold up (related:  all 3 share 1 bedroom, enough said!) it's been a loooong week, you know?

    The Writing on the Back Door Then, I walked into the den/laundry room (mostly, laundry room) and noticed the writing on the back door (Hope likes to make lists) and, well, I fully expected to find myself at the TOP of her s-list:

    • Live your life your way not how someone tells you how to live
    • There is a whole world everybody can see right in front of our faces
    • Our planets can be very interesting things.  Like love is one of the most important things in life.
    • I have a dream that we will have peace in the world.
    • You can have fun one day.  You don't need a special electronic.  Just be creative.
    • When the sun sets and rises it goes up and down almost like life.  Sometimes life can get bumpy like a road.

    Okay, I may not be the brightest crayon in the box (more like a dusty gray, really) but, DAYUM, if my kids aren't trying to tell me something?

    Or, maybe they're just trying to drive me crazy?

    [crosses eyes, clenches jaw]

    Yeah, right, anybody got any Tylenol?

    © 2003 – 2011

  • Worming HIS Way Into Motherhood

    Having been my children's primary care provider (i.e. Mom) for the last 17 years (I know, I'm old, SHUDDUP!) I look forward to impromptu school holidays, like Columbus Day, when I don't have to cook, clean or do anything special (like, cook or clean) normally associated with celebrating more traditional gift-giving and feasting-type holidays.

    I kind of get excited when my husband, Garth (not his real name) happens to have the day off, too!

    Still.

    Working from home does have its disadvantages.

    "When is So-and-So and What's Her Name coming over, again?"

    We're helping a couple of friends out by sitting their kids, today (what's two more, right?) and by we…of course…I mean, Garth (not his real name!)

    "I'm going to make a worm box!"

    Aaaaand, I have to be honest, I am feeling a little threatened at the moment.

    "Cool, can we help!"

    Honestly, a worm box?

    Worm box closed

    So, I went outside (seeing as I showered, got dressed and everything) to take a look at this fantastical worm box.

    Worm box open

    Aaaaand, not ONLY is it a fantastical way to get kids outside (so, mommy can get a jump start on a couple of writing projects this week) not to mention, actually convincing them that something low-tech, like digging for worms is, you know, fun (their names are Jeffrey, Skittles and Bob) but, Garth (not his real name) got a chance to demonstrate his multi-tasking skills, by cleaning out my shredder, too.

    DAMMIT!

    "Do you need any clean clothes for your trip, tomorrow?"

    Aaaand, I'm okay with that AND totally crushing on my husband's feminine side…today!

    (Disclosure:  Garth (not his real name) just reminded me that my son and his friend wanted nothing to do with the outdoors and now they are ALL folding socks.)

    Boys, however, ARE stewpid!

    (Disclosure:  I was able to convince the boys that…yeah…they REALLY would probably rather be outside, too.)

    I win!

    © 2010 This Full House Blog / This Full House Gone Shopping

  • Owning My Words and Radical Thinking Since 2003

    There are days when the words come easy.  Thoughts and images flash before my eyes in rapid succession, gaining speed as inspiration begins to flow down to my fingertips.

    Then, the sentences begin to run on and on, reluctantly separated by a few commas and semi-colons, throw in a couple of parenthesis (for good measure) and, well, it doesn't take long for even me to realize that, you know, I am NOT the greatest writer in the world.

    Far from it.

    Still, I keep writing; putting a face to my thoughts, searching for peace of mind, a quiet escape, or seeking comfort in the slightest hints of validation and (in some cases) sharing the best part of me that very few people get a chance to see, IRL.

    Today is not one of those days.

    You see, integrity was a part of my vocabulary (limited as it may seem) long before it was cool.

    Thoughts of "owning ones words" and allowing for "open-ended discussions" are not progressively new ideas to me, or the community I've come to admire and adore (I LOVE YOU, MAN!)

    Owning up to our imperfections and learning from one's mistakes, however, has turned some of us into quite the radical thinkers.

    This week, in particular, is a harsh reminder of the price that some of us are UNWILLING expected to pay, in the name of the collective right and higher thinking.

    I've spoken to way too many friends, who (like me) are questioning their place in this big, green (blue, purple, red, whatever) blog world of ours, for quite a while now and, after nearly driving my family deaf, thinking out loud about it (seriously, they're like SHUDDUP!) I've come to a decision.

    SHUDDUP and blog, already.

    No matter what side of the fence you're on, or whether you admit to liking Diet Pepsi (for me, it's Diet Coke!!!) or how many dramas play out (frankly, I'm not naive enough to think that this will be the last) one thing remains true.

    The power of the blogging community should not be dismissed, nor should it be taken advantage of either!

    1Imperfect and as uneducated as it may be (disclosure:  no, I do not have a college degree) I still believe in this bright, bold and sassy community of moms (and dads) who blog and view this unfortunate turn of events as simply just another step in learning to use our blogging powers for good, in a totally informed and responsible way.

    The alternative?  Use it as an opportunity to tear some poor schmuck a new one, online for all to see, or delete them from our feed readers, entirely, for not knowing any better…than you.

    Then again, I'm just another mommyblogger (an old one, at that, I know, SHUDDUP!) and I'm probably wrong, anyway, right?

    1Last Disclosure:  My entire blogging platform is and always has been based on putting a face to imperfection.  So, I feel it safe to say that…YES…I am a professional!

    © 2010 This
    Full House Blog     / This Full House Gone Shopping

  • Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
    Happy Army of Women Day!

    Army of Women tagI have a confession to make (don't worry, no bodily fluids are involved!) okay, ready?

    It's been 5 years since my last check-up!

    It's true.  You see, I've been busy.  Participating in blogging projects, or reminding families (like mine) to think pink; but, could only watch, hope and pray, while my twin brother fought valiantly and gave up one of kidneys, in order to win his battle with cancer; last month, I sat next to my SIL's hospital bed, held her hand and prayed some more.

    No, I am NOT proud of the fact that I have, once again, put my health and well-being…last.

    Then, yesterday, I read WhyMommy's post calling on women (like me) to use our blogging powers for good and it moved me to action:

    I'm asking you to join the Avon/Love Army of Women
    fighting breast cancer by signing up for emails about future studies,
    and participating in easy, online studies or studies in your hometown
    when something applies to you — and to blog about your decision, asking your readers to as well.

    Army of Women
    Okay, now it's your turn — don’t have a blog? No problem!  You can still TAKE ACTION by updating your Facebook status on October 1st with the following:

    “I
    signed up to STOP breast cancer before it STARTS. Have you? Join today
    at http://www.armyofwomen.org, then copy and paste this status update
    as your own.”

    Why?

    Because, nice matters and cancer sucks big, fat, hairy donkey balls!

    Me?

    Twitter gynoI have an appointment for next Thursday.  Thank you, Susan!

    © 2010 This
    Full House Blog     / This Full House Gone Shopping

  • So, This Housewife Answers the Door
    (Dude, stop me if you’ve already heard this one!)

    I.M.N. Ass

    I know, I know, I said it…housewife…it's a bad word…however, rather than get into a debate on whether stay-at-home mom is any better (honestly, I really don't give two bon-bons about labels) say what you want, just, don't call me desperate.

    Unless, we're all out of coffee AND milk [shiver] or, the microwave explodes AND takes the toaster with it.

    What?  It can happen, trust me.

    Aaaaanyway, I work from home…BAH!…there I go again…okay, so, like do working moms stop working, you know, once they get home from work?  

    Color me confused (preferably, in a soft and slightly muted tone, like, heather gray) but, I thought we were ALL passed the, I know you are, but what am I, sort of thing.

    Until, yesterday.

    (more…)

  • Parenting Tip #3,100,188:
    Don’t Worry, They’re Wrong
    It Does NOT Get Any Easier!

    Yes, but she may NOT fall either!
    I worry about my children.  What?  You, too!?!?  Oh, thank goodness, because I thought parents of preschoolers were the only ones allowed to, you know, NOT know what they are doing. 

    You see, once I became a parent (i.e. someone's mother, not apparent, like in an easily noticed sort of way)  I was told (by other parents) when my children hit kindergarten (i.e. started school full-time, not hit, like in a smack with a hammer sort of way) that my job was, you know, DONE!

    And I believed them.

    After all, having raised 4 babies, to toddlerhood (yes, it's a word!) and beyond, it IS hard work (and I mean that in every sense of the word) heck, I've got the eye baggage to prove it.

    "Have a GREAT day at school, Sweetie!!!"

    [pumps fist into air]

    "WHOOT…WE DID IT!!!"

    Yes, I actually played that scene, just like that, over and over again (in my head) and when that 1st day of school FINALLY came, well…

    "WHOOT!!!"

    …yah, it was pretty much like that.

    "Ummmm…now what?"

    Figuring out what to do with myself was never really an issue (not with ANOTHER kid, at home) until my youngest hit started full-time kindergarten and…well…you know.

    "What are you going to do with your day? "

    Et tu, Garth (not his real name?)

    Oh, I was very happy and not just because my husband took me to breakfast that fateful morning. 

    Right now, those of you who know that Hope is in the 4th grade (I think!) I bet you're wondering, you know, how DO I remember that, right?

    Well, I was finding ways in which I can avoid doing the laundry cleaning out my files, when I came across this blog post I wrote waaaaay back in 2006. 

    So what, right?

    Well, I read the rest of my post (because, well, I am my BIGGEST fan) and this is the part that got me, but good:

    "I've got tons of stuff to do…there's a pile of mail on my desk
    that I need to go through…not to mention laundry…and tons of stuff
    that don't fit the kids…I need to sift through…before changing over
    the closets for the fall…and I've got to organize their
    rooms…better…before I can do that…which reminds me…I've got to
    get the garage cleaned out…before I can finish renovating the
    kitchen…and re-finish the dining room…I was hoping to start this
    past summer…but, not before I finish wallpapering our room…I
    started…three years ago…oh, crap…but, I'll have finish painting
    Little Man's room, first…and…um…are you okay, Hon?"

    Long story, short (you're welcome!) my husband's eyes glazed over and then, well, he went to work.

    So, what's my point?

    [rolls up sleeves]

    Although my writing HAS changed (sort of):

    • there's a pile of mail on my desk I need to go through (it'll be there tomorrow)
    • not to mention laundry (it NEVER ends)
    • 2 of my kids have stuff that don't fit (boys don't care and the girl can borrow stuff from the other 2)
    • closets haven't been changed (good thing, it's gonna be 90 degrees tomorrow)
    • garage isn't cleaned out (because, we're STILL not finished renovating the kitchen)
    • kitchen is STILL not renovated (see above)
    • dining room STILL needs refinishing (because, my room STILL needs wallpaper, the boys room painting… etc…)

    Why?  Because, I'm STILL busy worrying about AND still doing OTHER stuff for my kids…dammit!

    [crosses arms]

    Why am I telling you ALL this?

    [rolls eyes]

    Okay, so once YOUR kids are in school full-time and folks begin telling YOU that, you know, your job is done…don't worry about it!

    [rolls up sleeves]

    Just send them my way…I'll fix 'em…REAL good!

    [reaches for hammer]

    Heck, isn't that what blogging's for?

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    Well, I feel better; how about you?

    © 2010 This
    Full House Blog     / This Full House Gone Shopping

  • Saving Second Base
    (A Breast Cancer eCookbook)
    Because Nice Matters, Cancer Ssaćs!

    Saving second base graphic

    Growing up, Barbara and I had a lot in common.  She spoke Polish, I spoke Hungarian (close enough!) we graduated high school in 1982 and, sadly, lost touch since then.

    Until…Facebook, when my laptop pinged that another high school buddy wanted to chat.

    "Did you hear one of our schoolmates died?"

    No, but I was pretty sure that he WAS mistaken.  Had to be.  Because, in my mind, I'm still 18 and, well, we're not THAT old, are we?

    Then again, we aren't born with any guarantees (DAMMIT!) or "date of expiration" stamps, either (thank goodness) and, well, my own twin brother gave up a kidney (stupid cancer!) my husband and both my in-laws have faced the knife (literally) to remove squamous cells (nasty stuff) and I recently watched my SIL (my husband's oldest sister) bravely deal with a pretty bad cancer scare, last month, as I held her hand, while folks poked, prodded and generally assaulted her breasts.

    So, yeah, like my friend Rachel (a.k.a. A Southern Fairytale) I am PASSIONATE about supporting cancer research and help, wherever, or whenever I can, to raise awareness, like joining her and Once A Month Mom in Saving Second Base!

    (more…)

  • Don’t Knock Knock It, If you Haven’t Washed and Dried It!

    Glen's Grand Poetry
    Kids.  They WILL say the funniest things and, more often than not, parents ARE their main source of entertainment.

    Knock knock.  Who's there?  Repeat.  Repeat who?  Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who.

    Aaaaand, well, you get it, right?

    Knock knock.  Who's there?  Kanga.  Kanga Who?  No.  Kanga ROO!

    Oh, we pretend laugh (or, not) and act like, you know, we've never, EVER heard that one, before.

    Knock knock.  Who's there?  Cows.  Cows who?  No.  Cows go MOO!

    [heavy sigh]

    Glen's Pic of TFH Happiness is…your family.  They're the people you love.

    Then, they learn how to write and, well, all that pretend laughing you did seems to have paid off.

    Until, you turn to the page.

    Glen's Xbox Happiness is…an Xbox.

    Doesn't matter that in 2006 (when my son wrote this entry into his 1st grade book binding project) we did NOT even have an Xbox.

    Glen's Playdates Happiness is…friends.  I like to have play dates with them.

    Or, that we don't have any machetes (not in the house, anyway) or, swords [looks closer] okay, but it's a PRETEND light saber!

    [heavy sigh]

    Either way, a teacher once told me (please, don't ask me which one; we're talking approx. 80 parent teacher conferences, over here):

    I'll believe half of what your child tells me about you, if you believe half
    of what your child says about me.

    Until, my son (he's in 6th grade, now) showed me his homework – write a set of directions; it could be how to get to your house, of a recipe, or how to play a video game – and guess which one he picked?  Go ahead.  I'll wait.


    This Full House the Game.

    This Full House (the game) Directions:  You have my mom and you must walk around picking up clothes to put in the laundry.  While the clock is ticking down you must put more and more clothes in to add on time.  If time runs out you lose!

    At least, he got this one right and, well, his penmanship has improved, considerably, don'tcha think?

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    So, um, anyone heard any good knock knock jokes, lately?

    [blows bangs out of eyes]

    'Cawse, next week is back-to-school night (4 of them, to be exact) and I got nothin'!

    © 2010 This
    Full House Blog     / This Full House Gone Shopping