This Full House Archive

Tag: this full house

  • Flirtexting: While Under the Influence of Children

    My husband, Garth (not his real name) had a local Chamber of Commerce thingy to attend last night and, considering it was held at one of our favorite pubs, I'm thinking perhaps it's high time I joined the Chamber of Commerce.

    Clearly, those Chamber of Commerce folks know how to, you know, thingy.

    Aaaaanyway, Garth (NHRN) and I have been feeling a little estranged, lately (okay, for the last 18 years) but not on purpose, or anything.

    We have 4 kids.  3 of whom are teens.  Enough said.

    Aaaaanyhow, I thought it would be fun to send him a few flirtatious texts to, you know, shake his thingy up a bit.

    So, I sent him this:

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  • My Bloggy Little Roadtrip #G2NO: Day 2 – A Last-Minute Snowstorm and Sunday Suppah on Saturday.

    Chatham Beach Snowy

    Chatham's Lighthouse Beach is there, somewhere, promise.

    I had exactly one week to plan my Bloggy Little Roadtrip #G2NO to visit my friend Sue in Cape Cod (you know, she lives in a hamlet, hates lobster) and by that I mean wrestling with mother's guilt (which never gets old, btw, sorry!) and tuning into The Weather Channel 24/7.

    It's like Mother Nature is going all pre-menopausal here on the East Coast and, well, my luck (or, lack thereof) I would make it ALL THE WAY THROUGH CONNECTICUT (sorry, driving through non-stop traffic in such a long state requires UPPERCASE not to mention a few choice expletives) only to get stuck in a snow storm in Massachusetts.

    Or, snow stahm (if you're from Massachusetts) either way, I HATE DRIVING IN SNOW!!!

    Thankfully, I made it up to Sue's house relatively unscathed.  Although, I did leave a piece of my bladder in most of Connecticut and there really should be an express lane to Sue's house.

    Good thing the snow didn't hit the proverbial fanbelt until Day 2!

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  • My Bloggy Little Roadtrip #G2NO: Day 1 – When Getting There is HALF the Fun

    Sue and Me at The Cape!

    My husband, Garth (NHRN) made me drive 6 1/2 hours, by myself, to be with this woman (yes, on purpose!)

    The morning I left for My Bloggy Little Roadtrip #G2NO (Friday, I think!) three out of four of the kids were off from school — my 16yo attends a specialized high school, they run on a slightly different schedule and no she was NOT happy about it — but, my son was still VERY upset.

    "I had a dream that you died."

    Grrrrrreat…best send off…EVUH…right?!?

    "Is there something you're not telling us, Mom?"

    Even if there was, it wouldn't matter, teenagers will make up their own stories.

    "Like, do'ya have some sort of disease?"

    See what I mean? 

    "An incurable flesh-eating disease or something?"

    [eyes go wide]

    "Aaaand, you're going away so we don't have to watch?"

    A bit extreme, I know (even for a 13yo boy) still, I guess it's sort of difficult for the kids to understand, knowing how much I hate…Hate…HAte…HATe…HATE to drive in traffic (seriously, it's tour-chuh!)

    So, why would I even consider driving 6 hours to go and visit with my friend Sue up in Cape Cod and, you know, NOT take them with me?

    Because, my husband Garth (NHRN) made me do it (yes, I'm keeping him!)  Although, he didn't have to try and convince me, all that hard, really.

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  • My Bloggy Little Roadtrip #G2NO: Visiting With My Friend Sue. You Know, She Lives in a Hamlet. Hates Lobster.

    Me and Sue

    Me and Sue (a.k.a. As Cape Cod Turns) BlogHer 2009

    I first met my bloggy-friend Sue IRL (in real life and from behind the computer screen) while attending BlogHer 2009 and, right away, it became clear to me that we were very much alike.

    Okay, except maybe for the fact that Sue has blonde hair while I'm…hang on a second…(looks in mirror)…a brunette (this month, anyway!)

    Aaaaanyways, she lives in a hamlet.  No, really, they have them up there in Cape Cod, MA.  Or, you may know it as Cape Cad (if you're from New England) also, Cape Cawd (if you're from Jersey).

    Also, Sue does not like lobster.  Or, lab-stah (like they say it over thah, in Cape Cad) also, lawb-stuh (if you're from Jersey) YO, what's wrong wit-chews?!?

    Aaaaanyways, I LOVE CAPE COD (et al)!

    My husband and I honeymooned there, we've taken our children along (after the honeymoon, of course!) on many family vacations, together with friends and even celebrated my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary where Sue lives…you know…up thah…in Cape Cad.

    It's our pretend home!

    Sooooo, when Sue and I were finally introduced in Chicago, by a mutual friend who lives in Chicago (go figure) and after hanging out at BlogHer 2010 (figuratively speaking, of course, as far as I remember, anyways) we promised to try and get together the next time we found ourselves…up thah…in Cape Cad.

    Okay, I'll stop with the various pronunciations now, my mouth hurts.

    Me and Sue 2

    Me and Sue Summer 2011 (she's still blonde and I'm, well, a little closer, this time!)

    The following summer, our ENTIRE CLAN invaded her little hamlet and had some really great lobster.  Except for Sue, of course.  She hates lobster, remember?  Which is sort of weird, since she does live in a fishing village.  It really and truly is a pretty little hamlet.

    Great, now I'm hungry.

    Aaaaanyways, I am SOOOOO EXCITED to be visiting with Sue and her clan for the weekend (WHOOT!)

    I'm leaving on Friday and perhaps may be on the road, right this very minute, depending on when you're reading this…[waving to you, from a rest stop no doubt]…but, this time…I will be clan-less.

    My husband, Garth (not his real name) has generously volunteered to hold down the fort (yes, I'm keeping him!) while I take my bloggy little roadtrip…you know…on the road and spend a Girls' 2 Nights Out with my anti-lobster friend Sue.

    Although, I am a little nervous about it.  Did I mention, Cape Cod is 4 states away and about a 5 hour drive from Jersey?

    Aaaaand, if you're still all, like, "Meh, big deal," then you have NEVER had the distinct displeasure of driving through the ENTIRE state of Connecticut…YO, what's wrong wit-chews?!?

    Sorry about that, you can take the girl out of Jersey…etc…

    Aaaaanyways, I'll be Twitter-ing and Facebook-ing along the way (I get lonely driving by myself) during my various pit stops (and thirsty) so, wish me luck, as I head out on my adventure and I'll see you soon. 

    You and your pretty little hamlet too, Sue!!!

    (P.S. Oh my gosh, Sue just posted a Facebook pic of my pretend bedroom for the next couple of days!)

    (P.P.S. Wonder if Garth NHRN would mind it much if I ammeded the hashtag to #G6NO?)

    (P.P.P.S. I'm kidding, Garth NHRN…sort of!)

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Nearly Wordless Wednesday: You Know You’re a Blogger, When…

    A Pear of Hearts

    A Pear of Hearts

    After finishing perhaps the juiciest pear on the planet (seriously, you SHOULD be salivating) when one of your kids walks by, looks down at your plate and hollers:

    "DON'T MOVE!!!"

    [eyes go WIDE, slides teeth over teeth, checks for creepy crawlies]

    "Let me get your camera!!!"

    Aaaaand, after nearly 9 years of hitting the publish button, proving once again that old school bloggers never die, they're just busy trying to remember where in the h.e.double hockey sticks they put their camera, as said nearly-grown kids continue to provide you with some really gosh-darn good blog fodder. 

    As for me?  I'm shooting for the 10 year pin. 

    [whips off reading glasses]

    YES!!!  There IS SO a pin…DAMMIT!!!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

    FRESHLY-BREWED ELSEWHERE:  Not for nothing, but I am absolutely thrilled to partner with Hallmark as a Life is a Special Occasion blogger, sharing personal stories, insights and inspirations in enjoying simple, every day moments with you (yes, YOU!)  Like, this month's post: The  joy of doing absolutely nothing of REAL importance.

  • Parenting Tip #2,189,562: Talking to Your Kids About Sex, Drive and Let Them Do ALL the Talking FIRST!

    I was in the 5th grade when we were herded into gym class to watch someone’s mother (or, maybe she was an older sister, I forget) as she wrestled with a “sanitary belt” (I know, I’m old, shuddup!) and we wondered what in the heck the boys were doing, right at that moment.

    I first French-kissed a boy in the 6th grade, in between a chain-linked fence that separated the baseball field from the basketball courts and spent the next few weeks in absolute terror until one of my friends finally convinced me that…uh, no and DER!…you can NOT get pregnant from kissing.

    Aaaand, thus ends the extent of my education into womanhood.

    Then, I had children and I swore up, down and sideways that MY kids will not be afraid to ask me ANYTHING about, well, EVERYTHING!

    “Mom, what’s an erection.”

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  • All the Leaves Are Brown, Let’s Smell Them!

    Fallen Leaves

    A couple of weeks ago my middle girl and I were hiking in the woods — yes, like in trees, we have lots of them here in Jersey — when I suddenly stopped to take this picture and managed to annoy quite a few joggers along the way.

    Can't help it, I want to remember.

    The sound of the trickling water was just so calming and then the smell of the wet leaves hit, bringing me back to my childhood, when my twin brother and I would dig for creepy crawlies and begin taking turns imagining the most fantastic stories of hidden little imaginary worlds.

    Gnarly Tree

    I've since shared these stories with my children AND with my husband, Garth (not his real name) who learned of my fascination with tree spirits on our first "day date" and, well, yes, now that they're older, my kids are just as surprised as you probably are, right now, that he even bothered to, you know, call back.

    Gnarly Vien

    I was going through some photos, because this is the winter "I swear" to print and display updated pictures around the house and, well, yeah, it seems I really do spend a lot of time looking down on the ground or up at the sky.

    "Look at those vines, Momma, let's go swing on them!"

    But, there was this one time in the woods when my kid and I ignored the disagreeable looks of passersby, took a swing on a gnarly vine and forgot about life's rough patches…for just a little while, anyway.

    "OOMPHUH!"

    Aaaaand, I may or may not have gotten a nose-full of leaves for my troubles.  Good thing I wasn't holding the camera, or my kid was too busy laughing, to take a picture, right?!?  RIGHT?!?

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Riiiiiiight, if anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs holding my middle girl's hair back, as we both finish getting SO OVER this warm-ish winter.

    Stupid creeping crud!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Power of Positive Thinking, Richardless

    Um, yeah, about my last post, sorry about that.  Admitting that I sometimes experience dark feelings of angst and perhaps rely on other people's happiness, way too much, is not very conducive to engaging in an easy-breezy, go ahead take your shoes off and get comfortable, sort of conversation, right? 

    Also, not my typical writing style.

    I blame it on having been home-bound for the last few weeks, harboring a fugitive kidney stone (his name is Richard, Dick for short) then being slammed with a wicked head cold, just when I was really beginning to feel pretty good — especially, from the neck up.

    Compounded by consuming large amounts of mindless TV (stay away from Bravo, it's highly addictive!) while the children and my husband took turns tucking me into the couch, or bringing me fresh boxes of tissues and herbal tea.

    Then, it hit me like a ton of idioms:  I was suffering from a man cold and…just ask any woman and they'll tell you…that shitz is near fatal, you guys!

    So, last night I took my Nyquil (like a big girl) and said to myself…SELF!…you need to get rid of that shitz REAL FAST!

    I am very happy to report that Richard (Dick for short) has indeed left the building, my head is clearing up and I am a MUCH better woman for it.

    [incoming text message]

    "I think you got me you filthy animal."

    Good thing, seeing as I gave my husband my man cold.

    So, please, for the love of Garth (not his real name) take care of yourselves, have a fantastic weekend (yes, ALL 3 of you) and if anyone needs me I'll be upstairs pretending to be asleep.

    Until then I remain forever yours,

    Richardless

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

     

  • As I See It, The Difference Between Envy and Jealousy is Most Likely a Nice Shade of Turquoise

    Winter Blues

    My 16yo dreams of being a famous photographer and it shows.

    I'm a pretty tolerant mom.  I don't have very many rules when it comes to my kids picking and choosing their friends.  In fact, if anything, my husband and I try to encourage our children to be as open-minded and non-judgmental as they would want others to be.

    Until, one of them has a falling out and, well, easier said than done, right?

    On the one hand, it's difficult to remain objective while watching your child's heart break, as she drenches your shoulder with snot, believing that the world is indeed coming to an end and not want to rip their so-called bestie a new one.

    Then again, speaking as an adult (mostly) it's a little easier to understand that we each carry our own pain which, more often than not, influences the decisions we make in life, good and/or bad.

    Until, someone I care about inadvertently breaks my heart and, well, have you seen The Grudge?

    A black, inky sort of BLECH! creeps over my insides and NO amount of bleach or disinfectant can keep me from being swallowed up by its toxicity.

    I could always blame it on the winter blues.  Or, being a woman (enough said)  and claim jealousy on their part.  Then again, I cannot honestly admit that I have never been envious of others, for reasons that would probably sound very silly or childish, to say out loud, anyway.

    "So, have you spoken to So-and-So since, well, you know?"

    Then, one of my kids turns around and says something profoundly adult-ish, like this:

    "No, I've come to the decision that no matter what I do it will NEVER be good enough."

    Aaaaaand, I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HER when I grow up.

    Morale of the Story:   Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it.

    Then again, happiness is highly subjective (I think) and thank goodness for small favors, right?

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Valentine’s Day Movie Meme: 14 Memorable Chick Flick Moments

    Oh, HEY!  Guess what?  Tomorrow is Valentine's Day (SURPRISE!) so, rather than bore you with details of my ultrasound of the killer kidney stone from hell (you're welcome!) I thought it would be fun to participate in a meme in which I get to share my 14 favorite chick flick moments .

    Because, I am ALL about bringing the fun back into blogging.

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Oh, c'mon!  You like romantic comedies, right?  No?  That's okay.  You get to be the one in charge of trashing this list.  It'll be GREAT fun!  Ready?

    1.  What is your favorite romantic comedy?

    50 First Dates

    50 First Dates:  I love this movie.  Truth be told, a lot of my favorite romantic comedies star Drew Barrymore.  The woman is so gosh-darned likable in ALL of them (DAMMIT!)   

    FAVORITE BIT:  (Dr. Keats) Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.  (Ten Second Tom)  I was in an accident? That's terrible.  (Dr. Keats)  Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.   (Ten Second Tom)  Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain… Hi. I'm Tom.

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