This Full House Archive

Tag: this full house

  • Like Cobwebs in the Corner, These Are the Days of Our Lies

    Day 69 - Webbed

    Photo cross-posted to our 365 Day Project 

    My youngest (she's 8) and her girl scout troop had their International Dinner, last night — they were representing Italy, this year — and, well, I hear she looked real cute.

    "Daddy helped me find a white t-shirt, Heather painted my nails red and Holly gave me a basket of biscotti!"

    I, however, did nothing other than forget to send her leaders a baseball hat.

    "That's okay, Mommy, they had extras."

    For forgetful moms (like me) I'm sure.

    "What country is Hope doing?"

    Since, it ended rather late (for us "seasoned moms," that means after 8 p.m.) I was, however, able to  pick the child up, after work (only, because my husband texted me, you know, not to forget) and, well, it seems I am NOT the only one.

    "Italy."

    [eyes go wide]

    "Funny, that's what my daughter is doing."

    [grin]

    "Good, because, Hope is in your daughter's troop, too."

    Then…ohhhhh…how we laughed…[wipes tears from eyes]…and, well, I swear the woman looked like she was ready to cry.

    "Why can't I remember that???"

    Oh good (phew) I like easy questions!

    "Well, maybe because we never see each other anymore."  

    Then, we spent the next 10 minutes talking about having recently gone back to work, for real (I mean, outside of raising kids and taking care of our households) and, you know, catching up on other stuff, like, what day was it, really, anyway? 

    "Did Hope tell you I substituted her class, yesterday?"

    [eyes go wide]

    "As a matter of fact, yes."

    [crosses fingers behind back]

    "Yes, she did."

    [bites lower lip]

    Okay, so maybe she didn't tell me…for real…but, honestly, I thought perhaps my friend was feeling bad enough and, you know, it was only a little white lie — does it really matter?

    "You know, I really love my job!"

    Yes, yes I do believe that, sometimes, being nice really does matter.

    "Aaaaand, I'm subbing her class on Thursday, too!"

    Now, if I could only remember if her daughter was in Hope's class, too…or, not…DAMMIT!!!

    "Oh good, Hope loves it when her mom friends come in to teach!"

    This time, I wasn't lying — heaven knows, she's learned enough bad habits from me, right?

    "I heard you did a GREAT job as picture parent, last week!"

    Yeah, right.

    "Who told you?"

    [eyes go wide]

    "Um, they did, when I subbed Hope's class, remember?"

    I swear…I can STILL hear her laughing…DAMMIT!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

  • TLC Book Tour: Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me – Preventing (or Reversing) Entitlement in Your Child’s Attitude

    Give me get me buy me

    Look, I know saying no can be real hard (trust me!) and anyone who's had to explain to a 2 year-old that, no, "real live" ponies do not sleep in big girl beds, would probably agree.

    [cringe]

    Then, my kids started getting older and, well, I seemed to have forgotten what it was like…making them happy, I mean.

    "But, So-and-So goes to Disney every summer!"

    From something as simple as buying clothes and video games, to being invited to elaborate birthday parties and watching our neighbors take out small loans, just so that their kids can have that dream wedding…er…I mean, sweet sixteen?

    In my experience, walking that fine line between cheap and frugal, for quite a few years now, overindulgence isn't the problem.

    "You NEVER let me do…go…get…anything I want!!!"

    It's the guilt that beats down my parenting mojo, every time!

    I have the extreme pleasure of being the 1st stop on the TLC Book Tour for March 2010, featuring Give Me, Get Me, Buy Me, by Donna Corwin.

    So, who's in charge at your house?

    C'mon over to my Shopping Blog and let's talk — 'cawse, I also have a couple of books to share, with you, too!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

  • I’m a Little Bit Sassy, He’s a Whole Lot of Doofus

    Sassy's in the House

    Helloooooooow, my name is Sassy.  Doofus-Dawg isn't here, right now.  Why?  Uh.  Good question. 

    [looks left, looks right]

    Beeeeeeeecawse.  Um.  I ate him, yeah.

    [snarl] 

    As if, right?

    Actually, his mommy put him in a time out.  I mean, I told him NOT to eat the garbage this morning.  But, you know, he's a DOOFUS and, well, I'm not. 

    DER!

    Aaaaaaaaayway, Doofus-Dawg's mommy is letting me sleepover, for a little while (i.e. what, in human terms is, like, I dunno, 2 weeks, or something, I think) while my mommy and daddy are on vacation, without me (DAMMIT!) and, you know, I kinda, sort like it here.

    There's lots of little humans, running around, ready to rub my belly and play with me and, well, what's one more, right?

    So, c'mon in.  Sit down!  The couch gots these real BIG mooshable pillows and, well, Doofus-Dawg is kinda sort not tawking to me, at the moment.

    [sniff]

    Share and share, alike!

    See?  His mommy says he's just a little jealous, or something.  Me?  I think he's maybe even a little scared of me, too.

    'Cawse, you know, I can be real scary, sometimes.

    [snarl]

    Snuggles

    See?  Friggin' frightening, right?  So, don't make me have to use UPPERGROWL, okay? 

    Oh, and you have yourself a nice day.  If anybody tells you different, just send them to me.

    Why?

    'Cawse, like Doofus-Dawg's mommy, I'm a Jersey girl and, well, she woke up with a real bad headache and is pretty p.o.'d at Doofus, at the moment, so I don't wanna have to make her Monday any ruffer than it has to be, ya' know?

    [snarl]

    Stupid Doofus-Dawg!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature 

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • A Different Kind of Bird Watching in Jersey

    Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal

    I looked out the window and, yeah, more snow (blech!) but, I noticed something else; something I missed, while shutting off the lights and waiting for my husband to come to bed, at 4:30 this morning.

    "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

    Actually, this time, my son kicked me in the head, the dog rolled over my legs and, well, I couldn't really blame my husband for falling asleep on the couch, again.

    "Oh, look, Mr. Cardinal has gone food shopping with Mrs. Cardinal."

    My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I could totally relate.  In fact, shopping for groceries, or running to the corner for the paper and our weekly runs to Home Depot are the few times that we get to spend together, alone (sort of) except, maybe, the shower (you're welcome!) so, yeah, we do a lot of our shopping, together.

    "I picked up some seed and filled up your bird feeder, last night."

    We stood there, in silence and each smiled, as Mrs. Cardinal scratched and pecked, while Mr. Cardinal stood by and watched.

    "Thank you for taking care of my birds."

    He put his arm around my waist.

    "You're welcome."

    And, considering the precipice that formed between us, last week, I was more than happy to just stand there and, you know, let him.

    "I wish you didn't have to go to work, today."

    [frowning]

    "Me, either!"

    What…oh…yeah…I bet most folks think that bird watching…in Jersey…only happens whenever someone flips you one, right?

    "Stupid bank!"

    As it should be.

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature 

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • The Blog Post My Husband Will Most Likely Hate – If He Read My Blog, I Mean.

    Let the Sunshine In, PLEASE!

    One day, last week (I forget which, exactly) I opened the front door to let the sunshine in and I kept it open, all day. 

    The birds were chattering (loudly) and the temperature, outside, hovered around 40 degrees. 

    As the dog watched the dust bunnies frolic, in and out, from underneath the couch, I allowed the calmness of the moment to wash over me and wring my heart free of all the troubles that have claimed squatter's rights for the last few months.

    It was glorious.

    Then, the clock on the wall began mocking me (BEYOTCH!) a squirrel ran in front of the door (RODENT!) and the dog nearly made my husband's wishes come true, by giving me a heart attack, when he ran, head first, into the glass storm door.

    Stupid dog!

    Garth [not his real name] has been making light of the fact that perhaps it is time that he looked for a new wife.

    "Since, mine seems to be breaking down."

    Oh, he didn't mean it, not really, and it's not like he was trying to be mean, or lying, for that matter, it's just that, well, I am…feeling quite broken, at the moment.

    "You hate me, don't you?"

    Of course, I don't hate my husband — although, I would be tempted to click the "unlike" button, upon occasion, if life was really like Facebook — on the contrary, I often times admit (yes, out loud) that I could NEVER do, you know, what I do, without having Garth [not his real name] on my side.

    Until now.

    (more…)

  • Killing Two Birds With One Peartini

    Peartini

    My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I don't get a chance to hang out together, a lot, anymore.  Oh, we're fine.  Thanks.  It's just that, he works during the day and I don't get home until well after the dishwasher has been loaded from suppertime (no, not on purpose) unless, it's Friday.

    "You're off tomorrow, right?"

    Yes…I mean…but, not this week…um…no.

    "But, you worked last Friday, didn't you?"

    Aaaand, the Friday before that…too…even the kids couldn't help but notice Daddy was feeling a little, well, I swear, the poor guy was ready to break out into song, any moment.

    "All…by…mah…se…eh…elf."

    [reaches for tissue box]

    "I don't wanna be."

    [sniff-sniff]

    All…by…mah…se..eh…elf…aaaaanymore."

    This Saturday, however, we were BOTH home (WHOOT!) so, we spent the early afternoon food shopping (I know, don't be jealous) and life was good.

    Until.

    "Ready, Mommy?"

    [eyes go wide]

    "NOW where is SHE going?"

    Oh, did I NOT mention, I gave the 16 yo permission to sleep over a friend's house, so she could get up early and go to church with her family since, you know, we seem to be in between religions, at the moment.

    "But, isn't the other one babysitting, tonight?"

    Yes, I also gave the 14 yo (i.e. the other one) permission to go to the mall with a friend and her mom (supposedly, Hot Topic had a sale, buy one Alice in Wonderland t-shirt, get two human sacrifices, free, or something) before, you know, the kid goes off and earns some more of her OWN spending money…DAMMIT!

    "But, I wanted to go out WITH YOU…tonight!"

    That's the thing about having live-in babysitters (I know, don't be jealous) you sort of forget that kids need to go out and have a little fun, too. 

    "We just spent the whole morning, together!"

    If you consider jet-setting across town to take advantage of can-can sales, fun (like we do) I mean.

    [reaches for tissue box]

    "Okay, I would LOVE to go out with you!"

    Because, I can't stand to see a grown man cry.

    "Call mom and dad."

    So, I fired up the crock pot (i.e. grandmas and grandpas gotta eat, too) then, picked up the 14 yo, bought her home so she could go to the bathroom (yes, she gets that from me) then, dropped her off at her babysitting gig ('cawse, you know, she can't drive, yet) put on my sexiest black boots (sorry, grandma and grandpa) directed my husband to this really cool new Asian bistro I heard about (YUM!) and spent the next hour seductively sipping a peartini (DITTO!) through heavily-glossed lips and gave Garth [not his real name] my FULL attention.

    [licking lips]

    Aaaaand, life was good…until dessert.

    [eyes go wide]

    "Something wrong?"

    Oh, we're fine…really.

    "So, WHAT ARE GUYS DOING HOME SO EARLY?"

    Just killing two birds with one stone (i.e. guess that peartini was A LOT stronger, than I thought) you know?

    "Thought you'd like to share some cake and coffee, with us!"

    Besides, we haven't seen my in-laws in, well, forever, too.  Aaaaand, life was pretty gosh-darned good…until.

    "Soooo, how's the gym working out for you, Mrs. Manager?"

    Peartini, anyone?

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

  • Viewing the World Through Frozen Side Mirrors

    Back-to-school

    Most days, I wake up and, if my feet hit the floor and my head is still attached, then, it really doesn't take much to convince myself that, YES, half the battle is actually getting out of bed and HOORAH! but, it's gonna be a good day…DAMMIT!

    Until, it's time to leave the house.

    "Why IS it so hard to make a left turn!?!?"

    Then, I remembered.

    "Oh yeah, 'cawse I live in Jersey!"

    Is it just me, along with perhaps the rest of the Eastern seaboard, STILL digging out of one of the snowiest winter's in, well, recorded history (yeah, I'm looking at you, Washington, D.C.) or, has Snowmageddon (or, as I've come to call it, Snowpocalypse) frozen everyone's nice buttons, shut? 

    (more…)

  • Wordless Wednesday: 365 Days – Just Another Sick Day

    Sick Day

    Another snapshot courtesy of my 365 Days microblog project — where I'm taking a self-imposed timeout, every day, to post wordless (you're welcome!)

    Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
    Tag, you're it:   

    Also, I'm letting it ALL hang out on Flickr

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • You Can Haz “Flawz!”

    Caitlin-crosby

    See that really pretty girl, up there?  Well, her name is Caitlin Crosby and she is a singer-songwriter in her twenties. 

    Yeah, I don't remember what it was like…either.

    However, raising 1 tween and 2 teenage girls (no, I haven't forgotten about the boy) who fight with image issues, as early as the 2nd grade (yeah, I know!) aaaand then…every…blessed…day…for the rest of their lives…well, it IS slowly (and painfully) coming back to me.

    "Oh great, another pop tart!"

    Being a mom (or dad) is hard (understatement of the year) but, IMO, parenting teens and tweens, at an age when female performers are advertising "sexy" as the new "sixteen," or "sexteen," if you will, well, my life IS downright rock-like.

    Then again, us parenting-types haz flawz…too…aaaand, I'm not just talking about sagging breasts, or laugh lines, that continue running down, right to my butt, either!

    [allows time for a mental etch-a-sketch]

    Caitlin created a home-made and moving video highlighting all people from all walks of life embracing (and loving) who they are.

    So, while I try to convince a couple of appliance delivery dudes that, "YES, you got the right house," and "I'LL MAKE IT FIT, DAMMIT!" please feel to grab a beverage and take a moment to watch (and listen to) FLAWZ:

    Color me optimistic (or a little naive, even) but, I really like the message in Caitlin's new video (not to mention, her bangin' voice) and, well, maybe, juuuuust maybe, there IS hope for us parenting-types, too!

    FLAWZ and all!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Yes, I Lie Like a Rug, My Name SHOULD Be Matt!

    Been working A LOT of hours, lately (SHOULD be feeling blessed, I know) younger kids are feeling ornery (no, I don't blame them) older kids been picking up the slack (thanks, you guys) and, well, let's just say I've pretty much blown any chance (as if, I were even close to being, you know, in the running) of winning "Mother of the Year," after both my 8 and 10 year-olds announced:

    "Things are just not the same, since you went back to work!"

    [shot to the heart]

    You know when I said that it's a mother's right to decide what works best for her family?  Well, I lied!  Like a rug!  It is so not THAT easy.

    "Can't we just go back to the way it used to be?"

    [salt to the wound]

    So, for your viewing pleasure, courtesy of a blast from my blogging past, I present to you Dancing Matt 2008!

    [Note: Includes really awesome music and feel free to go and grab a beverage — it is SO worth watching all the way through — oh, and I triple dog-dare you NOT to smile!]

    Thanks for the dance, Buzz and (if you find yourself all, like, "Who the hell are you?") you just can call me, Matt!

    Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
    Tag, you're it:  

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.