I love a good old-fashioned ghost story: stuff like The Sixth Sense, Woman in Black and Paranormal Activity can really get my adrenaline pumping and then I start hollering stuff like, "Oh, you do NOT want to go in there" and "Turn around, turn around, they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU, dammit"!
Which is probably why it is a pretty good idea that I wait until these type of movies are released on DVD.
I just get myself too involved in the storyline and, more often than not, would end up…you know…more dead-ish than not.
Which is why I am not a BIG fan of zombie movies: unless we're talking The Walking Dead and, well, "Turn around, turn around, they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU, dammit"!
Alright, so maybe there are worse things to worry about than a Zombie Apocalypse and…YES!…real life is A LOT more scary (especially, if you have teens) unless we're talking The Walking Dead.
"Turn around, turn around, they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU, dammit!"
My husband, Garth and I watched the premiere of Season 3 last night and even my 13 year-old son was all, like, CHILL OUT MOM!
"Oh, you do NOT want to go in there!"
The really, REALLY scary thing about The Walking Dead — besides the fact that I would have totally made the same mistake, gone in through THAT door and…BAM!…instant zombie smorgasbord — is the realization that I could very easily be mistaken as…you know…being one of them:
Glazed-over, zombie-like eyes — could be just a matter of excessive protein build-up or chronic progressive conjunctivitis, you're welcome.
Loss of coherent speech — I live with 3 teens, enough said.
Rate of physical decomposition has increased — you just wait until YOU turn 40-something, you little jerk.
Walk with a slow, erratic and in an unusually lumbering way — dumbass sciatica, stupid herniated discs.
Always hungry — friggin' ravenous even, stupid mid-life metabolism.
Tendency to stumble over obstacles and through solid walls — which is a rather frequent and normal occurrence, when you're severely near-sided and have misplaced your glasses, again?!?
Moral of the Story: don't be hating on us zombies and, if you think THAT'S scary, you really should see my teens, first thing on a Monday morning.
"Turn around, turn around, they are RIGHT BEHIND YOU, dammit"!
TURNING!!! WALL!!! SLAM!!! ZOMBIE SMORGASBORD!!!
"Ughmath thughca, oohpih woonthid iiiiiith!"
Translation: dumbass sciatica, stupid herniated discs.
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