This Full House Archive

Tag: snowpocalypse

  • Viewing the World Through Frozen Side Mirrors

    Back-to-school

    Most days, I wake up and, if my feet hit the floor and my head is still attached, then, it really doesn't take much to convince myself that, YES, half the battle is actually getting out of bed and HOORAH! but, it's gonna be a good day…DAMMIT!

    Until, it's time to leave the house.

    "Why IS it so hard to make a left turn!?!?"

    Then, I remembered.

    "Oh yeah, 'cawse I live in Jersey!"

    Is it just me, along with perhaps the rest of the Eastern seaboard, STILL digging out of one of the snowiest winter's in, well, recorded history (yeah, I'm looking at you, Washington, D.C.) or, has Snowmageddon (or, as I've come to call it, Snowpocalypse) frozen everyone's nice buttons, shut? 

    (more…)

  • On A Long Winter’s Night

    Candlelit and Blizzardid

    And the snow began to fall…aaaaand, fall…school was closed…the next day, too.  Then, ALL the lights went out.

    "GAAAAAAH!"

    Aaaaand, DAYUM, it was dark.

    "Don't NOBODY move!"

    The sort of inky gloom that makes a person lose all sense of good grammar, too.

    "Do we have any candles?"

    Is the Pope, well, whatever.

    [click, click, click, click]

    "I'm cold…I have to go to the bathroom…I'm scared…I'm hungry!"

    It's hard, you know?  Living in the suburbs.

    "Whatever you do, do NOT open that fridge!"

    Minutes.  Hours.  Days.  Weeks.  Time stops, in the dark.

    "Okay, who blew out the candles?"

    Like moths to a flame, they just can't help themselves.

    "Are we gonna freeze…can we flush the toilet…are we gonna die…do we have enough food?

    [click, click, click, click]

    "Everyone, close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax."

    [whoosh]

    "Okay, who blew out the candles?"

    Honestly, I don't know how the pioneers did it.

    "Um…wait…wait…I got one!"

    It's hard, you know?  Playing charades…in the dark, inky, gloom.

    "No, it's MY turn!"

    Minutes.  Hours.  Days.  Weeks.  Can cabin fever kill?

    [flash, blink, blink, zap]

    "POWER'S BACK!"

    Aaaand, DAYUM, just in time, too.

    "QUICK, turn the lights out AGAIN!"

    [ZAP!]

    "GAAAAAAH!"

    Of course, pioneer parents probably would have agreed that playing head games on your kids is really quite fun.

    "Don't NOBODY move!"

    Or, perhaps if they had really good timing AND quick access to the circuit breakers, they probably would…I mean.

    FWAHMP!

    "Okay, who blew one?"

    Stupid snowpocalypse!

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