Tag: raising teens and tweens

On the 174th day of our school daze my true love sent to me…an email that had absolutely NOTHING to do with the our 10th grader’s finals, 8th grader’s graduation, 5th and 3rd grade promotions, or the fact that Hope is turning 9 years-old on Wednesday (i.e. my youngest’s last year in single digits) oh, and the fact that my camera AND my beloved HP laptop are fubar…YO!

[inhales deeply, exhales in total denial]

So, how DO you know if a person (like me) is REALLy from Jersey?  Besides, the fact that I know how to order a pork roll (with cheese, duh!) I mean?  Easy…you recognize or can relate to at least 10 of these:

• You’ve been seriously injured at Action Park. [Banged my head on a waterslide!]
• You know that the only people who call it “Joisey” are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.  [waves to Jenn!]
• You don’t think of citrus when people mention “The Oranges.” [Nope.]
• You know that it’s called “Great Adventure,” not “Six Flags.” [Yep, and JayMonster knows it, too!]
• You’ve ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast. [Not in a while, but, YUM!]
• You’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. [My kids do, too!]
• You’ve eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am. [No, NOT this mommy…um…but, ask me again at BlogHer!]
• Whenever you park, there’s a Camaro within three spots of you. [Nah, I live in a minivan world, my friend.]
• You remember that the “Two Guys” were from Harrison. [Ohhhhh, yeah *snicker* nevermind!]
• You know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery. [Yep, been blogging it for years!]
• At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from. [Yep, I even showed Dana his house…okay…the front gate, but close enough, right?]
• You know what a “jug handle” is. [Yeah, and they’re STOOPID!]
• You know that a WaWa is a convenience store. [Aaaaand, they make THE BEST coffee, or cawfee, if you’re from Jersey!]
• You know that the state isn’t all farmland. [Not if they keep building those McMansions…dangit!]
• You know that there are no “beaches” in New Jersey – there’s “The Shore,” and you don’t go “to the shore,” you go “down the shore.” and when you are there, you’re not “at the shore,” you are “down the shore.”  [I’m down with dat!]
• You know that “Piney” isn’t referring to a tree. [Well, sort of.]
• Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a “sub” not a “submarine sandwich” or worse yet, a “hoagy” or a “hero.” [We can be heeeeeeeroooooes, just for one day, we can beeeeeeeeeee…sorry, teenagers are on a Moulin Rouge kick, lately!]
• You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials. [Actually, I honestly don’t remember this commercial, does anyone else?]
• You know how to properly negotiate a Circle. [Yes, see jungle handle.]
• You knew that the last question had to do with driving. [Yep, also STOOPID!]
• You know that this is the only “New…” state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it (like, try …Mexico, …York, …Hampshire (doesn’t work, does it?). [See title of post!]
• You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it “The City.” [Unless, you’re attending BlogHer, like me, WHOOT, then I’ll see you in the “cit-tay!”]
• You know that a “White Castle” is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. [a.k.a. rat burgers and/or sliders!]
• You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege. [Mustard and sauerkraut, baby!]
• In the 80’s you wore your hair REALLY high. [Aaaand, curly…even…see?]
• You don’t think “What exit” (do you live near?) is very funny. [Still, the easiest way to explain where you live…in Jersey.]
• You know that people from 609 area code are “a little different.” [Yeah, got a few relatives that live there, too :)]
• You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton – that’s for out-of-staters. [Unless, it’s for a really cool blogging event…of course.]
• The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. [Stoopid, Jets…psych!…just kidding…mostly!]
• You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. [Freehold, Monmouth AND Woodbridge!]
• You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town. [waves to NYCityMama!]
• You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. [Take 36 to 35 to 440 to 9 to 139 to 78 to get to Mom-101‘s house, I think!]
• Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony. [Yo, Tone, so, how you doin’?]
• You know where every “clip” shown in the Sopranos opening credits is. [Yeah, but I would NEVER drive there…especially, at night….psych!…just kidding…mostly!]
• You’ve gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall. [Stoopid, jughandles!]
• You’ve eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries. [Midway Cheesesteaks rawk!]
• You have a favorite Atlantic City casino. [Specifically, the Blue Mercury Spa at the Tropicana would make a GREAT 20th Anniversary getaway — hint, hint, GARTH (not his real name) are you listening?!? ]
• You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February. [January would be better, just sayin’!]
• And finally… You’ve never pumped your own gas. [Not in Jersey….anyways!]

Wake me up when September comes…YO!

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