Tag: raising teens and tweens

  • Square Pegs, Coolots and Gleeks, OH MY!

    Liz 1975. 1975
    This is me (okay, this is me, now, waiting for you to stop laughing) at 10 years-old (Post Amazonian-Growth Spurt, Stage 1) wearing my favorite pair of coolots (it's a real word, look it up) and the first time, in my life, that I can remember, where I actually felt, you know, sort of hip.

    WHAT?!?!?

    Crushed velvet was soooooo 1975.  Only the coolest kids wore purple coolots, aaaaaand, if you've ever watched Forrest Gump, you know that smiley face paraphernalia was ALL the rage, then, too!

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    Fiiiiiiiine.

    I was a square peg, way before being different was, you know, cool.

    I'm not saying that I was better.  Just different.  And, raising 4 pegs of my own, I see now that it's only human nature to, you know, want to fit in.

    Yet, deep down inside, I can't help but feel a certain sort of dork-ish pride, whenever one of my kids chooses to, oh, I don't know, think outside the pun.

    Like, the other day, my youngest was feeling all, you know, 10-ish, so, I thought it would be best to take her on errands with me, rather than leave her with her siblings and risk losing 2 of my best sitters.

    Hope Being All Nerdy

    Apparently, Hope was feeling a bit Gleek-ish and, to be honest, she matched her "I'm a Nerdy Sort of Cute," t-shirt, quite well, I think.

    "Are you really going to wear that?"

    Still, there's a fine line between embracing the beauty of different and being all in your face with a big old used pair of 3D glasses, right?

    "Why, I'm NOT afraid?"

    She then pushed her makeshift nerd glasses up her nose and gave me that, "What'cha talking about, Willis" look, right up there and 2 points if you know where the heck I heard THAT saying from, too!

    LESSON LEARNED:  I am NOT smarter than my 5th grader and I'm okay with it.

    We made several stops and, do you know, not one person gave her a second glance, not that I saw, anyway.

    "Being a nerd is A LOT cooler than when you were in school, Mom!"

    Then again, we live in Jersey, she's ONLY 10 and what do I know?

    NOTE TO SELF:  Remember to raise Holly's and Heather's allowance.

    Once we start paying them one, I mean.

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • Holy Hula Hoops,Triple-Tasking Girl!

    Three weeks into our summer vacation, things are going pretty smoothly and by that I mean, at the end of the day, we're all feeling a bit tired (in a good way) not to mention, sun-kissed and slightly pool-drunk from one too many belly flops.

    Of course, I meant to do that and yes…IT HURTS…like a son of monkey's uncle, riding on my back, along with the rest of his family and a couple of his monkey-like friends, while singing, "It's hard out here for a chimp, like me," too.

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Sorry, clearly I'm finding it increasingly challenging, as the social director, here at Camp This Full House, year after year and, well, now that my kids are older?

    "So-and-So invited me to the pool club…What's-Her-Name invited me to lunch…I got a job interview, this afternoon…"

    It's really not so bad.

    "Aaaaand I'm taking the car!"

    Really, it's not.

    "Wait, what about me?"

    Unless, you happen to be the youngest camper.

    "Well, you can have a friend over."

    Aaaaand, all of your friends happen to be out or having fun, you know, someplace else.

    [heavy sigh]

    "Sorry, give me a few minutes and we'll do something, together, okay?"

    Honestly, the poor kid's heard me say it enough times, I'm actually thinking about putting it on a t-shirt.

    "That's what you ALWAYS say."

    See what I mean?

    "Hey mom, LOOK!"

    Long story, short (I know, too late, still) I looked up to see this coming right at me, a few minutes later:

    LESSON LEARNED:  NO…I don't have very good balance…okay, NEVER have…YES…it would be nice to be able to multi-task, with such grace and cuteness, like that…and NO…I don't know where the heck she gets it from, either, DAGNABIT!!!

    Now, if you'll excuse me, the pool is calling and then Triple-Tasking Girl and I are going out for an iced mocha…after Holly gets home with the car, first…of course!

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • Where I’m From

    Hungarian refugee crossing into austria [photo credit] Hungarian refugee crossing into Austria

    I saw this awesome writing exercise over at Ramblin' Red's blog and, taking into consideration that I do tend to get lost and sometimes feel as if I don't know if I'm coming or going (okay, a lot) also, I am currently, suffering from a slight case of summertime mommy brain (what, you too?!?) and seeing it's ONLY July 5th (I think) I've decided to give it a whirl.

    There's a template of prompts to follow and, ideally, help to create something of myself, while reading like no other poem, in existence (we'll see) here we go:

    • I am from my Grandmother's freshly-ironed apron, from lemon Pledge and my father's record collection of Broadway musicals.
    • I am from a working class home, in a less than desirable neighborhood, where children were left to play in streets filled with the smell of smoked meat and pot holes, covered with cinder blocks and plywood, "borrowed" from construction sites, that were laid on top and fashioned into bike ramps, left to roast in the summertime heat.
    • I am from the fresh green smell of parsley root and the spiciness of Hungarian peppers, carefully planted in abundantly lush rows of raised beds, caressed by callused hands, then laid to rest in a make-shift green house of plastic wrap and leftover piping.
    • I am from chicken soup on Sundays and sharing stories with men and women (mostly true) made old before their time, while their children swung under willow trees, or chased each other among the hot dog carts, remembering grandparents they have never met, with strange sounding, yet familiar names, like Katkics and Kiss.
    • I am from that family, who never seemed to learn how to fully close windows and doors (especially, in the summertime) and would rather go to bed angry, or wake in silence, than have to face fighting, yet another day.
    • From this house, children must not be heard, but you must listen and do as I say, right or wrong, it's for your own good.
    • I am from kneeling while praying in church, as a punishment at home, or asking for forgiveness, having forgotten to cover my head, in an act of absolute humility, again.
    • I'm from New Jersey, the first generation to be born on American soil, by way of Hungarian immigrants, growing up in war torn streets and made world weary as teenagers, who then met each other, through surrogate family members, building on a strong foundation, for the love of family, whose roots are buried deep in Hungarian Goulash and Paprika, preferably Kalocsai.
    • From the grandmother who chose to immigrate to America, as the lesser of 2 evils, in an attempt to escape an abusive husband, by herself, with my mother and my Aunt Theresa (who was only 4 years-old at the time) sadly, from the man who eventually found them, and, though he has been dead to us, for over 20 years and, although I cried, having recently found his obituary, I am thankful that he is no longer on this earth.
    • I am from a secret place, deep inside the belly of a long-neglected room, hiding behind trunks of old clothes and 8 mm home movies, wearing my grandmother's stole, made of real mink (with their heads still attached) and trying on an old pair of peep-toed heels, listening to the furnace, as it comes to life behind me and consumes another shovelful of coal, granting me audience, as I pretend that my life is a movie, I become my own story.

    Curiously enough, the photo (waaaaaaay up there) is from a showcase featured as Freedom and Liberty and, well, I thought it just sort of fits, you know?

    EDITED TO ADD:  If you decide to make one of your own, Schmutzie has a link up with others sharing, too <—- learned this from reading Tracie's entry, thanks!

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • Not My Daughters, Most Likely, My Son

    Over the years, I've learned to expect less than favorable opinions, from other people, upon learning that I have 4 kids.

    Hope Underwater Then, when other people find out I have 3 daughters, who ALL share the same bedroom, the shock sets in and, well, yes, it is just as complicated and delicate of a situation as anyone can imagine.

    Heather Underwater All I can say is, thank goodness we have a REALLY BIG backyard and, when hormone levels begin to rise and, add in the closeness of summertime, threaten to reach epic proportions (like, yesterday) I can toss them ALL in the swimming pool and, hopefully, avert a nuclear meltdown.

    Mine, too!

    Holly Underwater Being a girl is really, really hard.  I know.  My daughters sometimes forget, I used to be one.  Once.  A long time ago.

    However, I wasn't allowed to play organized sports, even though I was really good at soccer and could pretty much run circles around the boys, when playing "for fun" at the Hungarian Club.

    With my sincerest apologies, in advance, to Mia Hamm's mother, it was a boy's sport and both my parents worked during the day AND cleaned office buildings, together, in the evenings, during most sporting practices, anyway.

    It wasn't in their nature to, you know, ask for help.

    Besides, they had me to help cook, clean and were grooming their daughter to be perhaps the best that they could have expected, at the time, given their upbringing.

    Katkics Grandparents
    Frankly, there are worse things (trust me, I've heard their stories) and my parents have since admitted, as their daughter, I've far surpassed any and all of their expectations (mine, too!) 

    They ARE terrific grandparents and have been there, for my kids, sharing in nearly every milestone and a few unexpected surprises, as well.

    Funny backstory:  after a long day of furniture shopping and helping my parents plan their move, we stopped for lunch and my father actually cheered, out loud, when my oldest got her period at McDonalds.

    While, 30 years earlier, I got in trouble, BIG TIME, for leaving a pack of Kotex on the bathroom sink.

    Mom and Me in Seaside Still, I try and make it a point to thank them, whenever I can, for helping to make me the person, who I am…right now.

    Hope and Heather Poolhair I am…the mother of 3 very spirited daughters, who are confident and, although they don't like each other, very much, sometimes (okay, a lot) there's unconditional love, in there, somewhere, albeit wet and perhaps even a little sticky.

    Folding Party at This Full House! Oh, and I also have a son, who likes to cook, bake and knows how to separate his laundry (okay, so my mother taught him) and…YES…I expect him to make someone a REAL good wife, most likely, some day.

    Just, not my daughters.

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • Times Fun When You’re Having Flies

    Not unlike many cultures, growing up, my twin brother and I spent a lot of time with our grandmother — especially, in the summertime.

    Some of my fondest memories are of helping Nagy Mama cook Sunday dinner, or tend to her vegetable gardens, while listening to awesome stories "from the old country."

    To be REAL honest, there were a few downright scary moments when I think she, along with others of the grandparent-ly-type, made up half of these so-called folktales, just to scare us kids into, you know, being good.

    So…YES!…I have taken poetic license in re-telling some of these stories…to MY children.

    Something's Peeking
    Like, when exploring Uncle John's and Aunt Cheryl's farm, looking for freshwater crawfish (WHAT!?!?) apparently, Jersey's got 'em, who knew?

    Frog 1
    Aaaand, finding this little dude, instead, then telling my kids that…YES!…it is most definitely a wishing frog .

    Frog 2-1
    Which, upon closer inspection, he (or, she???) was obviously ready, willing and seemed to be quite comfortable, actually, in granting us audience, big or small.

    Ahhhhhh…but, there IS a catch…you have to catch him, first.

    Then…and ONLY then…can you make your wish.

    Wishing Frog
    Unless, you find a tall, dark and really, really brave mom-type blogger (preferably, descended from a long line of warrior princesses) to, you know, do it, for you. 

    Because, contrary to what the Grimm Brothers may have told you, it's really bad juju to kiss a frog (see disclosure, below.)

    Frog 3
    Go ahead, make a wish (you know you want to) but, don't say I didn't warn you…OH!…and you're welcome!!!

    Disclosure:  Just so you know, this blog post is for entertainment purposes, ONLY.  I am in no way advocating the kissing of frogs.  In fact, it's probably a REAL bad idea, as some frogs can give humans tapeworm cysts and salmonella poisoning.  (See also:  EWWWW and GAG ME WITH A SHOVEL!!!!) It's okay, though, because I didn't really kiss him/her, made sure to wash my hands (before and after) and, truth be told, the frog didn't look too happy about the idea, either. SHEESH!!!

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • Perfection is So Over-Weeded

    My friend Diana wrote a wonderful blog post on the acceptance of messes (feeling pride in tending to her less than perfect garden) and, well, for me, hers is such a timely story.

    Tomatoes 2

    My parents always kept a vegetable garden.  Growing up in an urban area, surrounded by ironworks, factories, several blocks of shared housing, warranting little more than a quick glance, before the traffic light changes, we were one of the few families to do so, in our neighborhood, anyway.

    Eggplants and Red Cucumbers 2

    Still, their vegetables were always so beautiful and, my kids spent hours playing in their green house, when they were little.

    Small as it was, our backyard became an oasis and, from the moment you walked through the rose arbor, you'd forget your troubles, become deaf to all the noise outside the garden gate and, well, it was REAL nice to feel privy to that sort of peace, even for just a little while.

    Eggplants and Red Cucumbers 2
    Then, my husband Garth (not his real name) and I began looking for a house and, as small (and full) as it is, right now, I am very, very thankful for our REAL big backyard, too.

    My parents surprised us, that first year, by planting a vegetable garden, while we were away (I forget where, or why) and, well, life was good. 

    18 years, 4 kids, 3 cats, 1 Doofus-Dawg and a myriad of OTHER things that I just don't even want to, you know, think about, right now (maybe later) and the garden, well, this is the first summer I have considered “not dealing with it,” either and, you know what?

    TFH Vegetable Garden 2

    I did, anyway.  Because, as small and overcrowded with weeds as my vegetable garden is, right now, I could not imagine a summer without being able to go outside and, you know, dig in the dirt.

    Aaaaand, in the process, perhaps even weed out my mommy brain, just a little, you know?

    TFH Grapes 2
    Thanks SO MUCH for the reminder, Diana.

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • You Know You’ve Hit the Big Time When Your Dog Gets Fan Mail!

    Okay, so I don't usually write about marketing to mom sort of stuff here on this blog anymore (but, I do on this one!)

    Because, this is where I like to think out loud with very little thought given to word count or social media metrics.

    Still, as a freelance writer and blogging professional (AM SO!) I do receive a lot of pitches (some good, mostly bad) and probably read twice as many posts and articles, every month, about some blogger being wronged, in some way, by yet another company who, you know, just doesn't get it.

    I read bad pr pitch stories like this and can't help but pine for the days when moms (like me) would write (for writing's sake) and were THRILLED just to have made it on each other's blogrolls.

    Blogging is hard.  Blogging while under the influence of children is damned near impossible, without a strong network of online (not to mention, unplugged) family and friends, I mean.

    On the other hand, I've personally worked with some very amazing people, collaborated on equally awesome projects and forged many new fantastic friendships along the way.

    Still.  Contrary to what others may think (or, feel) I don't think I'm special.  Nor, do I expect preferential treatment, or, expect stuff to be given to me. 

    In other words, I am NOT famous.   But, my dog is:

    Subject: Doofus-Dog, Would you like to help feed the hounds?
    Date: Fri, June 17, 2011 11:28 am
    To: lizthisfullhouse@gmail.com

    Dearest Doofus-Dawg:

    You are a brainy thing, aren't you? And we adore your absolute candor as you share your thoughts at This Full House.

    And so, dear DD, we'd like to see if you want to try our food.

    We are XXXXXXXX and have real food for really smart dogs like you.

    Ask Liz, though.

    Not that she's your boss (no way!) but she might have an opinion or two.

    But if she says "Yes," we'll send over our new food (called XXXXXX) for you to try.

    Want to?

    Aaaaaand, my absolutely most favorite closing in the whole wide Interwebs…EVUH:

    With Dirty Socks, Kitty Poop and All Other Things You Shouldn't Be Eating,

    XXXXXXX

    Maybe I should be insulted.  Perhaps even feel a little annoyed (at best) but, I'll be boiled in my own lip gloss if I'm not absolutely giddy telling you that my dog gets better pitches than I do!

    Because, I'm funny like that.

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • 3,650 Days

    As a mom of a 17, 15 and 12 year-old, other than scraping teeth on utensils, or chewing and speaking at the same time (shiver!) things don't bother me as much, as they did, when ALL 4 of my kids were in single digits…at the same time (double-shiver!)

      Hope at Fun Day 2011
    But, this kid…right here…just turned 10 today and, well, I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that my oldest is now a legally licensed driver.

    Heather and Hopey
    Or, that my middle girl is turning 16 at the end of this year and how much older than 15 that sounds, right about now.

    HopeNglenCape May 2011

    Never mind, that my son's next birthday will mark the "Holy Hannah Montana what do you mean we have 3 teenagers in the house," point in our lives where my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I won't be able to use each of my pregnancies as a time line, to remember stuff, for very much longer.

    This Full House Kids 2007Cape May 2007

    Like, how this post is supposed to be about Hope's 10th Birthday and here I am, going on about her siblings and, well, that's how it goes, when you are the youngest, right?

    Sponge bob hopey
    But, this kid…right here…makes us laugh AND cry (especially, whenever she feels the need to interject herself in a conversation and correct one of us, which is often) like no one else we know (she's usually right, btw!)

    We're Spinning in the Rain
    Although, sometimes Hope will swear that she is ALWAYS last and that no one EVER listens to her, she has single-handedly managed to claim an especially squishy spot in each of our hearts.

    Hope Dandelion
    Because, Hope IS a mashup of ALL that is good in our lives at the moment and, now that she's crossed-over to double digits, too (SOB!) I can't think of a better reason to celebrate, than this:


     

    From Day 1 to Day 3,650 (or, 3,652.42199, including, leap year) there is and always will be ONLY one Hope — a.k.a. Queen of the Cat Daddy.

    Hope is 10
    Happy 10th Birthday, Hopey!

    P.S. After careful consideration, I've decided to surprise Hope and take her to get her nails done after school, today.  I understand, she's only 10 (see above) but, it's the ONLY thing on this kid's birthday list and, considering I'm her mother, it's really not a whole heck of a lot to ask, is it?

    P.P.S. Besides, she's MY kid…soooooooo…pppfffbbbllltttt!!!

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • Maybe This Time, She’ll Stay…Parked.

    Last week, I got to spend a few days at one of my favorite summertime destinations and, would you believe, it is NOT Disney?

    My family has never been, actually.

    Nope, in fact, I was happy for the opportunity to write about my favorite vacation spot, here in Jersey (is, too!!!)

    Still, leaving home, without my kids, is always hard. 

    However, I did not expect my youngest daughter to cry and hug me, as hard, as she did, or to make my son feel as if I were never coming back home, ever again.

    Then, about halfway into the 2+ hour car ride it dawned me.

    "Hi mom, we need the password for Netflix."

    My kids were sad, beeeeeecause, they weren't allowed to, you know, come with me and, well, the fact that they probably would be fine, without me (for the next few days, at least) just made my time away from home a little easier.

    Then, I came home, gave them each their presents (don't judge) and we ALL settled in to catch up on Season 2 of Glee (thank you, Netflix) when it hit.

    "Mom, we need to practice parallel parking!!!"

    A wave of nausea, when realizing that my oldest daughter is taking her driving test on Tuesday and…for those of you who have been reading along…for the last 8 years (you know who you are!) and my many new friends I've met over the internets…I hope you understand when I repeat this, all in UPPERCASE:

    HOLLY WILL (or will not) BE ISSUED A NEW JERSEY DRIVER'S LICENSE, TOMORROW!!!

    Oh and, one more thing:

    HOW IN THE H…E…DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DID THAT HAPPEN, ANYWAY?!?!?

    [takes deep breath]

    So, Garth (not his real name) and I traded cars, since she'll be road-testing in it, anyway.

    Also, the hand break is in the center console, where instructor can reach it, if need be, but I hope not, still, you never know, it is supposed to rain, like buckets, okay, pour actually, ugh, moving on.

    Late this afternoon, Holly and I headed over to the high school and, seeing as I grew up about 25 minutes outside of New York City, while my husband grew up with head on parking (ONLY!) I instructed my 17 year-old in the fine art of parallel parking.

    Holly Parking Phase 1

    Phase 1:  wasn't very successful and I suspected it was because the poor kid couldn't see the back of the first pretend car.

    "This is no use, Mom, I can't see the garbage can in the front!"

    See, I told you, because, I'm smart like that.

    Holly Parking Phase 2

    Phase 2:  I found the pair of slippers, from Christmas, that don't fit Garth (not his real name) in the trunk, so I balanced it right on top of an empty box of garbage bags and, viola!!!

    Holly Almost Parked

    Almost, not quite, but I just stood there, taking pictures, all quiet like (which is very, very hard for a Hungarian, just so you know) and let Holly get a feel for her.

    Holly Parked

    Well, seems like she's ready and close enough to the curb for Mr. or Ms. DMV Instructor, even, right?

    "I'm gonna pass this suh-cuh!"

    Yep, to me, it sounds like she's more than ready to drive, in Jersey!

    "Even if you don't, no biggie!"

    Seriously, we live in Jersey, either way, she parks like her muh-thuh.

    "Can I blog this?"

    So, you know, I could remember what in the h…e…double hockey sticks I did…for the next 3 times, I mean.

    "Can you believe that Hope's turning double-digits this week, too, Mom?"

    Because, you know, they don't stay little for long…DAGNABIT!!!!

    UPDATED TO ADD:  She passed.  I did NOT puke.  Aaaaand, now it starts…

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

  • Boom, Boom, BOOM!

    A transformer behind our house blew up (like, in BOOM!) and we lost ALL power, this morning.

    No big deal, really, happens ALL the time!

    Although, I'm not quite sure why, other than listening to my husband insisting it's because our kids leave the lights on…ALL of them…ALL the time…and, well, it just makes mornings a REAL pain in the backside.

    More than usual, I mean.

    Considering that, this time, it happens to be on a Monday morning, well, you know.

    2 hours later.

    "Wanna go for a ride?"

    My oldest is home from school for a mom-imposed mental health day (final exams and road test for driver's license, next week…enough said) and, considering that I hadn't showered and would probably spend way too much money on coffee, working at Starbucks, anyway.

    "SURE!"

    Plus, it seems my impatience was painfully obvious (tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…looks at clock…tap, tap, tap) not to mention, wearing a hole in our living room carpet.

    "You can teach me how to cash a check."

    Although, it's been a while (fyi: patience is a valuable job skill when freelancing, DAGNABIT!) I was more than happy to help my oldest learn the value of banking…on the positive side….for once.

    "Sign here…account number goes here…oh, and they may ask you for some identification, so make sure you have your student i.d. with you…what?"

    [blank stare]

    "Aren't you coming in with me?"

    No.  Not because I didn't shower, or wash my hair, either.

    "Nope, you don't need me."

    She pulled down the visor, checked her makeup, joojed her hair, threw her purse strap over her left shoulder, then turned to me and said:

    "Right, here I go."

    BOOM!

    Aaaand, that, my friends, was the sound of my heart…breaking.

    "Ten..twenty…thirty…YEY, Mom, you want a donut?  My treat!!!"

    Call it divine intervention, or whatever, my kid (a.k.a. Countess D'Money) swears it's because someone, up there, somewhere, is just tired of watching me be soooooo stressed out, ALL the time, or something.

    [shrugs]

    I'm just very, very thankful to have celebrated a piece of my daughter's first step towards independence, followed by an impromptu and totally unscheduled hike through the park, together.

    Photo1900.jpg

    Oh, I then told Holly that I would let her drive, from now on, too…starting next week, of course…BOOM!

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

    Oh, almost forgot (I know, act surprised anyway, okay?) don’t forget to enter to win a $100 gift card to Dick’s Sporting goods courtesy of BlogHer and Gatorade Moms!  Click here for details!