This Full House Archive

Tag: new jersey mombloggers

  • F-artsy Baby Pictures I

    Oh, go ahead, you know you want to, my kids will end up hating me anyway.  Okay, I'll start:

    Heather's best dr evil

    "Don't make me have to go all Dr. Evil on your butt!"

    You're next.  Caption me, baby.

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House Blog / This Full House Gone Shopping

     

  • Hump Day Diddy Dumbs:
    The Sound of Mucinex

    The kids tag-teamed being sick over holiday break and, at last count, it was my youngest daughter's turn…shhhh, but don't tell her, okay?

    Oh, not to worry, we experienced bright and shiny non-crud-filled moments, together, too.

    Like, during our annual New Year's Eve movie marathon, we watched Fiddler on the Roof and one of our (okay, my) ALL time favorite musicals, ever, The Sound of Music.

    That's a combined total of 355 minutes (or, 5.916666667 hours) of unadulterated, pure as alpine mountain air, nerdy nirvana and, well, yes, we are THAT family of geeky Broadway buffs blurting out lines from old show tunes at the dining room table.

    Wanna come for dinner?  No problem.  Dress casual.  Bring a face mask.

    Aaaaand, for your musical pleasure, here's a little something, just for you, with slightly adjusted verbage, to compliment the suckage:

    The Sound of Mucinex by TFH Yes, we're barely alive with the help of Mucinex
    With muck we have flung for like a thousand years
    The crud fills their lungs with the sound of mucus
    My heart feels like it's gonna drown with every cough it hears

    It makes me want to beat the creeping crud out of them
    just from total lack of sleep
     I just want them to breath (dammit!)
    makes parent teacher conferences seem like a breeze

    To cough so hard it makes them trip and fall
    god I hate that their feeling this way
    To cough through the night
    and sleepwalk through the rest of the day

    I go to the pills when my heart feels all achy
    I know I will hear what I've heard before
    Their lungs will be blessed with the sound of Mucinex
    And I'll sleep once more

    Dinner's at 6-ish, you're welcome!!!

    [This is an unpaid, unsponsored and undoubtedly the dorkiest post I've written in, well, what day is it?  Aaaaaanyway, just be glad I didn't post the video I made of myself, you  know, singing it, stupid sleep deprivation.]

    © 2003 – 2011 This FULL House Blog / This FULL House (Re)Views

  • Curse While You’re Thinking
    It Saves Time (In Jersey, Anyway!)

    Queen-latifah-covers-parade-01
    Queen Latifah (love her!) gives a really great interview in Parade Magazine, this week:

    "There's something about growing up in New Jersey that prepares you for whatever you might encounter around the world. We're not afraid to go places."

    Having lived in Jersey, all my life, I feel it safe to say, "What she said!!!"

    Contrary to what many other people may think (about people from Jersey) specifically, about moms like me…ahem…we really do know how to use our words and, although we tend to speak with our hands, some of us more than others…ahem…Jersey Girls know how to use their inside voices, too.

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Unless, you've had someone home, sick, since Christmas Eve and then get dumped on by 3 feet of snow (a.k.a. Snowmaggedon) causing you to convince a typically understanding 15 year-old (note: she was the one sick on Christmas) that…YES!!!…celebrating unbirthdays is waaaay cool (IS SO!) oh, and that shopping for last minute New Year's Eve snackage is awesome AND fun (see previous parenthesis) then, some unfortunate a$$hat decides to take your parking space.

    [inhales]

    You know, the one you've been patiently waiting on for the last eleventy hours.

    "ARE YOU FRICKIN' KIDDING ME!"

    [puts car in park, rolls up sleeves, swallows gum]

    "What are *bleep*ing blind, can't you see me *bleep*ing waiting ovuh-heh?"

    [inhales]

    "Yah, well, a very Happy *Bleep*ing New Year, to you, too, you morrrrrrr-RON!"

    Aaaand, this is about the time I remembered that, you know, my 15 year-old was still in the car and, judging by the look on her face, I just earned myself another Checkmark reason why I won't be accepting Mother of the Year, again, or anytime soon, for that matter.

    [rolls window down]

    "Yeah, what SHE said!"

    Then again, looking on the bright side, my kids are getting older and, well, worst case, they won't be afraid to call out bad behavior when the see it.

    [rolls window up]

    "Um…what the heck is an A$$hat?"

    Aaaand they seem to be able to show much more restraint than, you know, their mother, already.

    "Someone who says or does something, stupid, without thinking."

    On the other hand, the lesson would have been MUCH MORE effective if, you know, I had thought to roll the window down…first.

    "Can I say it?"

    [one beat, two beats]

    "Only if someone really, really deserves it!"

    So, Happy New Year, everyone…except you.

    [rolls down window]

    "You stupid, parking-space-stealing, a$$hat!"

    What she said!

    © 2003 – 2011 This FULL House Blog / This FULL House (Re)Views