This Full House Archive

Tag: new jersey mom bloggers

  • Planes, Migraines and Insensitive Asshats

    I don't often go away, heck it's a gosh-darned event just to be able to get out on a date night with my husband….but, when I do…I drink Dos Equis…PSYCH!!!…just kidding, I hate beer.

    Aaaaanyway, what was I saying?  

    (Looks up at ceiling, blows bangs out of eyes)

    Oh yeah, so this week I was traveling….as in, I physically got on an airplane and flew over several states….after double-dosing on Dramamine, of course….but, the last time I traveled….in an airplane, over several states…my youngest kid passes out while visiting Grandpa in the hospital…and, well, now maybe you know why I was seriously second-guessing my getting on an airplane….at all….let alone, tempting the powers of #FUBAR….right? 

    (Blank stare)

    Long story, short….NOTHING happened….UNTIL I sat down to have breakfast with Busy Mom (don't be jealous) and my cell phone rang.

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  • Wordless Wednesday: Delinquent Earns Another Reprieve

    Delinquent is the anti-lap cat, unless you are recovering from the migraine from
    hell and then he will make an exception, as long as you don't make a
    habit of it…YO!

    Delinquent Cat and Heather

    Also, he may or may not have figured out I'm still pissed at him for peeing all over the floor (AGAIN!) dumbass delinquent cat.

    Check out the new Wordless Wednesday HQ!!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Wordless Wednesday: You Don’t Scare Me, I Have Teens and a Fleece Blanket.

    That awkward moment:  when you go to pull your blanket up higher and accidentally punch yourself in the face.

    Snuggles Are For Grownups

    Me and my snuggler in crime, during scary movie night.

    Yeah, that hasn't ever happened to me either, but I hear your eyes don't stop watering for a solid 3 commercial breaks.

  • 19 Years of Motherhood And Still Not Doing It Right

    Holly and What is Left of Athena

    11-12-12: Holly and what's left of Winterstorm Athena.

    My oldest turned 19, last week <—– seeing that in writing makes the fact that I am now a mother of a 19 year old all the more WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM A MOTHER OF A 19 YEAR OLD <—– seeing that in UPPERCASE pretty much sums up what I feel about THAT, in a nutshell.

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  • Becoming THAT Crazy Cat or Dog Lady

    One of the reasons I started blogging….back in the days of  when posting pictures of your kids on the internet was bad and way before those same kids started posting pictures (and videos) of themselves….on the internet….was my being able to connect with other parents on the internet.

    I still do, but now that my kids are older (me too, dammit!) it can be real difficult keeping stuff all lighthearted….most especially, here at This Full House of extreme hormonal imbalance and severe teenage angst….sometimes.

    Okay, most of the time.

    Fiiiiiiiine, I sort of get why really, really, really old people (you know, folks much, much, much older than me) are crazy.  Their kids made them that way. 

    Then, they dress up their pets and buy them organic food and stuff and maybe one day I will be that crazy cat or dog lady, too.

    Just, NOT TODAY!

    For example:  Doofus-Dawg has this funny way of thumping his tail when he's in the middle of…well…what I imagine to be a real kick-ass dream.

    [thump-thump-thump-thump-thump]

    Aaaaaand, then the kick-ass-ness gets real intense and the thumping gets quicker.

    [thumpity-thump-thumpity-thump-thumpity-thump]

    Then the dream goes full on…SQUIRREL!!!!!

    [THUMPTHUMPTHUMP-THUMPITY-THUMPTHUMPTHUMP]

    No lie.  This time, I happened to have my phone charging while working at the desktop and I hear:  thump-thump-thump-thump-thump.

    So, I grabbed my cell phone and then, sure as you'll find hairballs under our couch, secured my rightful place in parenting hell:

     

    You see?  Et tu Doofus-Dawg?  Totally made a total liar out of me.  The REAL funny part is he came right back and marched his hairy butt straight to the couch.

    The Revenge of Doofus Dawg

    Hahaha, real funny, now I triple-dawg dare you to try and get me from off the couch, b8tch!

    Normally, Doofus-Dawg isn't allowed on the couch.  This time, I made an exception, because I am nothing if NOT inconsistent with my parenting skillz, too.

    Besides, those are my son's clothes….he never did take them upstairs, like I told him to, this morning….and, well, the clothes are going to end up on the floor…eventually…or my son will throw them back into the hamper…clean or not, who cares?…anyway.

    Aaaaand then feed me strained carrots….eventually…but NOT today…DAMMIT!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Happy Thanksgiving, or a reasonable facsimile thereof!

    Halloween 2012

    If it weren't for Hurricane Sandy, our Halloween decorations would STILL be up…DAMMIT!

    Just so you know, I am also a featured blogger for Hallmark (yeah, I don't HOW that happened either) and just wanted to let you know that I've got a freshly-brewed blog post up today over on Gone Shopping about  how celebrating Christmas in July may not be such a bad idea, afterall.  

    Feel free to stop on by and check it out…when you have time…of course!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • More Big Bang for Their Buck

    If you were to visit my house, on any given day, you would most likely be very surprised to hear any one of my daughters singing…by herself or altogether…in Korean…and my son begging me or his father to…PLEASE, MAKE THEM STOP!!!

    Not that my son has anything against the Korean.  Or any other language, really.  Although, I have it on good authority that his Spanish teacher may or may not have made a pact with the devil.

    Teenagers can be SO weird about stuff, sometimes.

    Which brings me back to all three of my daughters and their long-time obsession with K-pop (a.k.a. Korean pop music) more specifically, the boy group Big Bang.

    Bigbang_alive_tour

    photo credit: Big Bang on Facebook

    Ask my daughters something in Korean…g'head…and they will NOT have ANY idea what you are saying.  Ask  them to recite the lyrics to one of Big Bang's songs…fuhghettaboutit…they will give you twenty.

    So, when my oldest learned that Big Bang's Alive tour was coming to the United States in L.A. and Newark here in Jersey…ONLY!!!…well, cover your ears…SQUEEEEEE!!!!

    She woke up super early on her day off (before noon, she's 18, enough said) the day the tickets went on sale and right when she was about ready to hit PURCHASE…GAHHHHH!!!

    Her latop shutdown after performing an automatic update.  

    After belting out a few choice words in, well, I'm still not quite sure WHAT language Holly was speaking (best guess, a mashup between Korean and Jersey-pissed) but I do know that she has since disabled automatic updates.

    She was able to score two tickets (one for herself and one for my middle girl, much to the chagrin of her youngest sister, but let's not go back there, okay?) they weren't as great as the first set of tickets, pre-reboot…[insert Korean expletive, here]…however, sixth row-right-of -stage-something-or-another was deemed more than adequate and totally within SQUEE-ing distance to K-pop nirvana.  

    Big Bank T-shirts Finished

    SQUEE!!!!

    Flash-forward to last night:   so the girls stayed up ALL night making their own t-shirts for…SQUEE!!!…the concert (even let their baby sister in on their revelry) and life was good. 

    Holly and Heather Bing Bang

    Big Bang Bound

    Until, Garth (not his real name) came downstairs this morning and found one of his good t-shirts, newly fringed.

    In their defense, they did ask…while he was asleep…and, yes, they learned from the best…YO!!!

    Flash-forward to this afternoon:  I dropped the girls, along with their two bff's, in front of the Prudential Center in Newark (literally, pulled up and kicked them out at the curb, it's how we roll in Jersey)  and the lines were THIS LONG already.

    My cell phone rang about 5:00 p.m., it was my oldest.

    "Hey Holly, are you okay,what's wrong, are the girls okay?"

    It's their first REAL concert, can you tell?

    "Yeah, just wanted to tell you that we finally got inside."

    Welcome to concerthood, my young padawan.  We chatted a bit and then I made the mistake of asking her if they had someting to eat.

    "No, and that's a REAL funny story."

    Long story, short (you're welcome) the merchandise carts are very near the entrance and who knew that they actually sold food on a whole OTHER level?!?

    "We sort of ran out of money."

    Actually, they had a dollar.  Aaaaand, I did what (I'm pretty sure) ANY parent would do.  I asked that really STUPID question.

    "So, what DID you spend the money on?"

    [one beat, two beats]

    Uh-huh…T-SHIRTS!!!!…dammit…or 젠장 (jen-jang) if you're from Korea!!!

    © 2003 – 2013 This Full House

  • Twas The Night Before #Snor’eastercane

    Hurricane Sandy
    Having lived in Jersey all of my life, I feel it safe to say that we East Coasters are used to freakish weather, experiencing all 4 seasons, sometimes ALL in the same day.

    This week, however, I am pretty convinced that surviving the Zombie Apocalypse has got nuh'thin' on the monster that is Hurricane Sandy.

    Thanks to the Weather Channel, I now have apocalyptic catch phrases running around in my head like:  #Frankenstorm, #Blizzicane and my personal favorite: #Snor'eastercane.

    Sounds like a friggin' hybrid holiday, yes?

    So, in an effort to get Jim Cantore out of my head (dude, it's way too crowded up there already) I present to you, Twas The Night Before #Snor'eastercane:

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  • The Nightmare Before Christmas, Halloween House

    Not for nothing, but we used to do holidays BIG here at This Full House of crunchy floors and stinky socks, sometimes decorating months in advance.

    Actually, I may or may not have forgotten to take down last year's [insert upcoming holiday, here] decorations and, well, a few months more and I'd have to dig them out again anyway, right?

    Then life happened and holidays just sort of started going all #FUBAR, for one reason or twenty. 

    The Dead Pumpkin 2007
    Halloween 2007:  I carved the pumpkin way too early and, well, it was gross and swarming with gnats by the end of the month.  So, I just left it out and pretended…yeah, sure…we meant for it to look all gross, just in time for Halloween!

    Heather 2008
    2008 will forever go down as the bloodiest Halloween, EVUH:  when my middle girl's butt exploded, literally and we'll just go ahead and skip right over 2009, if you don't mind, m'kay?

    Corn mazing
    Halloween 2010 was the last time all 4 of my kids went pumpkin hunting, together:  because, clearly, I was the only one having fun.  

    This time, last year?  I was positively morose.  My youngest was graduating 5th grade and, well it was my baaaaaaayyyyyybeeeeeeeee's LAST Halloween parade.

    Although I did remember to bring my camera, I totally FORGOT to check the stupid sd card.  #dumbass

    Glen and Hope I don't remember when
    Wait!  Here is a really cute picture of Hope (and Glen) from I don't remember when.

    "Are we going to put up any Halloween decorations, this year?"

    Ugh.  Right.  So, I can't help but feel like my youngest daughter is getting the short end of [enter upcoming holiday, here].

    "Right now, want to help?"

    So, last Sunday, Hope and I hit the Dollar Store for some last-minute…is THAT realy all we got for Halloween…stuff and took to task getting our house looking all fall-ish and festive-like.

    Pumpkins

    Because dead geraniums are sooo spooky, yes?

    Hope and I got it ALL up and Halloween-ish by the time my two oldest girls got home from work later that afternoon. 

    Halloween 2012

    I know, it's not like it's going to win an award or anything and, truth be told, my neighbors probably won't even really notice the difference, from any other day.  Still.  Hope and I had a really great time and we may or may not have gotten a little carried away with the spider webbing.

    "The spiders are going to have a party!"

    Good.  One less decoration to worry about, right?!?  In fact, throw in a couple of red and green hats, a few jingle-y bells and we've got us some pumpkin elves.

    What?!?  I sort of like the idea of our being the Nightmare Before Christmas House, right?!?  RIGHT?!?

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Whatever.  Eat your heart out, Martha!

    [blanke stare]

    Martha Stewart, I mean, not Jenn @TheNextMartha <—- that woman OWNS Halloween!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, Jersey Style

    When my sister-in-law asked me if I would walk with her at the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event in Point Pleasant Beach, two thoughts immediately came to mind:

    • Yes.
    • Of course.

    I've been taking my kids to Jenkinson's boardwalk since they were babies and, more importantly, with my sister-in-law's recent scare and my twin brother facing yet another surgery (next week) I am always up for the chance to kick cancer's ass…anywhere…b*tch…ANYTIME!…Jersey style.

    Making Strides startWhile the rest of my family was all…like…ummmm…that's really, really great…but…uhhhh…you do realize that…you know…walking will be involved.

    3.1 miles to be exact and, although a lot of folks I know run a 5k before breakfast, it seems my borked-up back has compromised my already less than graceful walking skills.

    Tripping over air is one thing (which I am very good at, btw), gravity getting all stabby once my foot hits the ground the wrong way can be real gosh-darned inconvenient.

    Making Strides fight like a girl

    Then again, I have seen way too many of my family and friends suffer through the bitch that is cancer.  Judging by the awesome turnout, who showed on perhaps the most beautiful Sunday in the record of Sundays in October, we were ALL looking to kick some cancer-ass.

    Making Strides dude with pink beardOn this particular day, everyone's signature color was pink and it was SO difficult for me to NOT stare at that dude up there (although, dude, think of it as my admiring your awesomeness) or not wonder about the story, behind the beard.

    Making Strides walkingThe t-shirts, that was another story, multiplied by the thousands:  pictures of loved ones captioned with
    declarations of eternal remembrance and hundreds upon hundreds of teams, helping to raise money for the cause,
    rallying on for those who continue to fight, made this for a truly bittersweet experience.Making Strides along the beachWe continued to walk, mostly in silence, sometimes talking all at once, as I pointed out our favorite spots on the beach or the stands where the kids and I first discovered fried Oreos and zeppoles.Mile 2Around mile 2 a beautiful monarch butterfly appeared to follow along with the crowd, dipping and weaving gracefully over a sea of pink, now stretching out in front of us for as far as our eyes could see.

    My sister-in-law and I turned to each other, smiled and agreed:  it was most probably someone's loved one, rooting them on.

    My cell phone did not make it to mile 3 (damnit!) BUT I DID!!!  Considering I had 17,000 of my fellow-Jerseyites to lean on, how could I not?!?

    This morning, I received a text message from my sister-in-law:  co-worker walked w/team yesterday in honor of her friend's mom who died from breast cancer.  Symbol for the mom is a butterfly.

    Enough said.

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House