This Full House Archive

Tag: #Nemo

  • Winter Photo Walk, Pre-Naptime Moments Edition

    Raising older kids, folks sometimes ask me about stuff I miss the most about their being…you know…not so little, anymore.  That's easy.  Naptime!!!

    Frozen clothes line

    Aaaaaand, those precious pre-naptime moments, when I would take them to the park, or drag them out into our backyard (2 out of 4 STILL hate bugs, me too) and just watch, as they race each other from tree to tree (protip for parents of younger kids:  best distraction tactic ever, works EVERY blessed time!) with little or no fear of their running into a sharp corner…or a wall.


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    Now, it's me they have to worry about (or the dog, because he too forgets to slow down and look, before turning too quickly, sometimes)  and dang if I couldn't use a REAL good nap, right about now.


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    Aaaaaanyway, now that they are older (not me, I'm still 19, in my head, anyways) the kids have their own agendas (none of which include me) and, well, snowy weekends were made for pre-naptime activity, yes?

    "No one will go outside and make a snowman with me."

    [insert sad face, extending lower lip, over upper lip, here]

    My youngest, on the other hand, would insist that no one never, ever…NEVER…wants to do anything, with her…EVER!

    "I will!"

    Judging by the skepticism, written all over her face (protip:  I don't think pre-teens EVER get rid of "the look" until AFTER they have kids) she probably did NOT mean me.

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    See, it's written all over her face:  seriously, Mom???  YOU???  The woman who would not even be able to bend down (or stand up) without having to take a nap, afterwards?!?

    Winter photo walk 1
    Fiiiiiiiine, maybe I can't build a snowman worth a lick (stupid sciatica, dumbass herniated discs) however, we CAN go on an awesome wintertime photo walk and catch a few gosh-darned-mighty-fine-pre-naptime moments of our own.

    Winter photo walk 2
    Aaaaaaaand, guess what THIS weekend's project is going to be…g'head, I'll wait…unless it snows again and then, well, I call naptime!!!  Who's with me?!?

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Dumbass-delinquent drain pipe, stupid-ignorant ice.

    © 2003 – 2013 This Full House

  • Ice, Ice, #Nemo

    We heard it was coming, a few days after experiencing our first earthquake and it was supposedly to be one of the biggest storms to hit Jersey in recent memory:  Hurricane Irene blew in late Summer of 2011, which suddenly sounds like a really long time ago.

    Aaaaand, then Superstorm Sandy hit the east coast last October, nearly knocking us back into the stone ages, changing the face of New Jersey, forever.

    So, yeah, I was a little nervous when tracking our first major winter storm since even before the hurricanes hit, especially one named after a cheeky fish.

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    Nemo was much kinder to us than our neighbors in North Jersey, but I'm pretty sure that friends and family in New England are STILL digging their way out.

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    I spent the first few hours of Saturday morning, peering out our front door, willing the snow to melt, hoping that it would thaw out in time for me to take my oldest daughter to work.

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    You see, I don't do snow, or at least I don't drive in it very well.  I had a pretty bad car wreck the first year I started to drive (YES, they had rubber wheels back then, be quiet, child!) and, well, I can still hear the CRUNCH in my ears, as my car was being rear-ended and my forehead hit the steering wheel.

    I woke up in the hospital to find out that…YES!…apparently, a person can so sprain their esophagus. 

    "Do you want me to drive, Mom?"

    My oldest is super-soft spoken (no, she does NOT get it from me!) but, I still jumped as if my daughter was talking into a bullhorn and nearly swallowed my coffee mug.

    "No, I would much rather you call in sick."

    Yeah, great role model…I know…and I realize that she has been driving for over a year now and will need to practice driving in snow, sometime, just not nearly a foot and on her first attempt.


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    Good thing she wasn't scheduled to work at the hospital until midday, it took all morning for my son to chip away at the ice and snow that Nemo dumped all over our car (another advantage to having older kids, free labor!) and only now do I realize the irony:  the daughter of the world's clumsiest and most accident-prone woman WOULD work in a hospital.

    "C'mon Mom, you're just making yourself more nervous, you'll be fine."

    Aaaaaaad, that very fine line between parent and child (trust me, it's there) was blurred, once again, by my inability to shake stuff off and get over myself, already.




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    "Besides, you're the one who taught me how to drive…remember?"

    Yes, yes I did and she's a gosh-darned good driver (in spite of it) so I guess there is still a little hope for me, yet.

    "Hang on a second, I'll grab my coat."

    Besides, the last time I attempted to drive in weather like this, I abandoned my car in the school parking lot and walked home, with all four kids in tow, while snow continued to fall…sideways…and I didn't have a coat.

    But, NOT this day.  

    "Thanks Mom, I'm proud of you!"

    Tell you the truth, having made it there in one piece AND without embedding my fingers into the steering wheel, permanently, I was pretty gosh-darned proud of myself, too.

    "I'll see you after my shift!"

    Nope, but I didn't bother to tell her that her father would be picking her up, later that night, and I really shouldn't have to explain why…this LATE in the game…now, do I?!?

    Stupid ice, dumbass Nemo.

    © 2003 – 2013 This Full House