This Full House Archive

Tag: mommyblogs

Parenting Tip #13,100,785:
Anything Boys Can Do, Girls Can Do Better!
Unless You Live in Our House
Or, Happen to Play the Clarinet!

Hey, look, finally, a post that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the weather (anyone mentions anything about snow and the ground hog gets it!) however, I will say that we're each getting a little sick (and tired) of all the closeness, around here.

"Girls go to college to get more knowledge!"

Especially, my two youngest children.

"But, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider!"

See what I mean?

"That's not right!"

Thank goodness, the two oldest girls have my back.

"You mean, more stupid!"

Sort of.

"Keep it up and ya'll going to Jupiter!"

Long story, short (you're welcome) at our house, the war of girls vs. boys has been going on for quite some time now and, well, if you ask me, it really doesn't matter (whether you're a boy, or girl, I mean) they're ALL driving me nucking futs, too!

"Smart Alec said that playing the clarinet is stupid!"

Et tu minivan?

"What did you say?"

Hope's first choice was to play the flute [cringe] but, I told her maybe the clarinet would be, you know, way cooler, considering there really aren't enough female clarinet players in the world.

"I told him maybe he should think about playing the clarinet, then!"

[snort!]

"How many clarinets does it take to change a light bulb?"

Either way, it just occurred to me, that I forgot to ask what instrument Smart Alec plays.

"Clarinets don't have light bulbs, STUPID!"

Then again, I guess it really doesn't matter.

"Hey, you just passed our house!"

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala.

"Where are you taking us, Mom?

[blows bangs out of eyes]

"Next stop….JUPITER!"

Stupid ground hog!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

February 2, 2011
Hair of BlogHers Past

Only 14 more sleeps until BlogHer '10 and, since this IS my 4th year attending this particular blogging conference (read: proved myself to be a dork, 3 times, for REAL, already!) I feel it safe say, "WHOOT!" and admit that I am sooooooo happy I do NOT HAVE TO worry about flying, you know, in an airplane, or eleventy.

Heeeeeeello, NJTransit…it's been a while…how've ya' been, dawg?

Still, it can get sorta weird, stepping out from behind one's blog and leaving your delete button, behind (mine is broken, go figure) and, well, it's kind of hard to pass myself off as the ageless, yet brilliantly insightful and entertaining blogging ingenue….

[sound of crickets chirping]

….AM SO!…in my mind, anyway…still, BlogHer is one of the very few chances I get (if any) to hang out with some of my favorite people in the blogging community.

[Yeah, I'm looking at you, BusyMom, Jenn, SocalMom, Melisa With one S, Headless Mom, Dawn and NYCityMama, just to name a few!!!]

Also, to meet and thank past blogging partners and new business associates who I am also very proud to be able to call, friends.

[That would be you, Cooper and Emily!!!]

Because, in some weird-ish way…we HAVE become friends…who happen to agree…to disagree and like each other, anyway.

In fact, it was Melisa's post (more specifically, the above picture of us…at BlogHer 2009 in Chicago…together) that inspired me to write this one and say to ALL of you going to BlogHer, this year…HOLY CRAP!…I do NOT look like that, anymore.

In fact, looking back, I've had a completely different hairstyle, or color…every year.

That's Aimee and me at BlogHer 2008 in San Franscisco with my short (very, very short) dark-ish, HOLY CRAP, but California is a LOOOOONG way from New Jersey, look.

That's Lisa, Amber, Dana, Shannon and me at BlogHer 2007 in Chicago with my long-ish, gold-ish THANK GAWD these people don't seem to mind hanging with a dork, look.

Aaaaand, what's the look gonna be…this year?

[snicker]

Well, only 14 more sleeps and you'll find out…soon enough…besides, I wouldn't want to ruin your image of me, anymore than I have, already, maybe.

[sound of crickets chirping]

Oh…look…over there…is that something shiny?

Oh, alright…this is me at a recent family barbecue…IS TOO…just, look for me at the BlogHer 5K Fun Run/Walk…I'll be wearing the same color tutu (for Tanner) so, how do I look?

© 2010 This
Full House Blog – All Rights Reserved.

July 23, 2010
You Know You’re From Jersey When…
On the 174th day of our school daze my true love sent to me…an email that had absolutely NOTHING to do with the our 10th grader's finals, 8th grader's graduation, 5th and 3rd grade promotions, or the fact that Hope is turning 9 years-old on Wednesday (i.e. my youngest's last year in single digits) oh, and the fact that my camera AND my beloved HP laptop are fubar…YO!

[inhales deeply, exhales in total denial]

So, how DO you know if a person (like me) is REALLy from Jersey? Besides, the fact that I know how to order a pork roll (with cheese, duh!) I mean? Easy…you recognize or can relate to at least 10 of these:
- You've been seriously injured at Action Park. [Banged my head on a waterslide!]
- You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas. [waves to Jenn!]
- You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges." [Nope.]
- You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags." [Yep, and JayMonster knows it, too!]
- You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast. [Not in a while, but, YUM!]
- You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. [My kids do, too!]
- You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am. [No, NOT this mommy…um…but, ask me again at BlogHer!]
- Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you. [Nah, I live in a minivan world, my friend.]
- You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison. [Ohhhhh, yeah *snicker* nevermind!]
- You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery. [Yep, been blogging it for years!]
- At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from. [Yep, I even showed Dana his house…okay…the front gate, but close enough, right?]
- You know what a "jug handle" is. [Yeah, and they're STOOPID!]
- You know that a WaWa is a convenience store. [Aaaaand, they make THE BEST coffee, or cawfee, if you're from Jersey!]
- You know that the state isn't all farmland. [Not if they keep building those McMansions…dangit!]
- You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey – there's "The Shore," and you don't go "to the shore," you go "down the shore." and when you are there, you're not "at the shore," you are "down the shore." [I'm down with dat!]
- You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree. [Well, sort of.]
- Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero." [We can be heeeeeeeroooooes, just for one day, we can beeeeeeeeeee…sorry, teenagers are on a Moulin Rouge kick, lately!]
- You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials. [Actually, I honestly don't remember this commercial, does anyone else?]
- You know how to properly negotiate a Circle. [Yes, see jungle handle.]
- You knew that the last question had to do with driving. [Yep, also STOOPID!]
- You know that this is the only "New…" state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try …Mexico, …York, …Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?). [See title of post!]
- You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City." [Unless, you're attending BlogHer, like me, WHOOT, then I'll see you in the "cit-tay!"]
- You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. [a.k.a. rat burgers and/or sliders!]
- You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege. [Mustard and sauerkraut, baby!]
- In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high. [Aaaand, curly…even…see?]
- You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny. [Still, the easiest way to explain where you live…in Jersey.]
- You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different." [Yeah, got a few relatives that live there, too :)]
- You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton – that's for out-of-staters. [Unless, it's for a really cool blogging event…of course.]
- The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. [Stoopid, Jets…psych!…just kidding…mostly!]
- You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. [Freehold, Monmouth AND Woodbridge!]
- You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town. [waves to NYCityMama!]
- You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. [Take 36 to 35 to 440 to 9 to 139 to 78 to get to Mom-101's house, I think!]
- Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony. [Yo, Tone, so, how you doin'?]
- You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is. [Yeah, but I would NEVER drive there…especially, at night….psych!…just kidding…mostly!]
- You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall. [Stoopid, jughandles!]
- You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries. [Midway Cheesesteaks rawk!]
- You have a favorite Atlantic City casino. [Specifically, the Blue Mercury Spa at the Tropicana would make a GREAT 20th Anniversary getaway — hint, hint, GARTH (not his real name) are you listening?!? ]
- You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February. [January would be better, just sayin'!]
- And finally… You've never pumped your own gas. [Not in Jersey….anyways!]
Wake me up when September comes…YO!

© 2010 This Full House Blog
June 14, 2010
The Boy Who Lived, Without
A Bedroom Door?

Hopey's puppet of a mean principal that's supposed to be a clown (says, she was told to think out of the box) displayed at the coffee counter (or, caw-fee, if you're from Jersey)

Last week (I think) our school district held a book fair at our local Barnes & Noble and my two youngest children were invited to read their persuasive writing pieces.

"So, what's yours about?"

My almost-9-year-old daughter wrote about being tall enough (FINALLY!) to experience her first ride on "a real roller coaster" during a visit to Casino Pier in Seaside Heights, NJ last June.

"Aaaand, what did you pick?"

My 11 year-old son's piece was a little closer to home.

"Mine is about convincing you and dad to give me a door!"

We have doors. Lots of them. There's the front door, the back door, the bathroom door.

[takes breath]

There's the door that leads to the girls' bedroom and the h…e…double…hockey…sticks that is [gulp] their bathroom!

"Because, you know, everyone ELSE has a door."

My son's bedroom is upstairs, like mine, but his is at the top of the stairs and, well, long story short (you're welcome!) no, he doesn't have door.

[gulp]

"You didn't write anything that would, you know, embarrass mom, or dad, right?"

Because, heaven knows, I sure as heck wouldn't (ahem!) and, well, everyone knows that karma is a witch, right?

Riiiiiiight.

Even longer story, shorter (seriously, you should be thanking me!) oh yes, there was lots of lamenting about stuff, like:

(a) Being the only boy, stinks.

(b) Having a bedroom without a door, stinks even more.

(c) Having the litter box…in his room…you guessed it…stinks, BIGTIME.

(d) His sisters are barging in all the time.

(e) Refer to (a) above.

In hindsight, I should be glad that their readings were held in the cafe.

"What did he just say?"

Aaaand, that the blender was really, really loud.

"He can't keep the girls out of his bedroom!"

[eyes go wide]

"No, I don't think he means regular girls…dear."

[one beat, two beats]

"Oh, well, no wonder his parents won't give him a door!"

Not for nothing, but you gotta love senior citizens (they were sisters, I think) but, I don't believe a hearing aide would have made a difference, either way and I shudder to think what the sweet old lady meant by "un-regular" girls.

"What is your boy's name?"

[bites lower lip]

"Harry…Harry Potter."

Aaaand, he's moving…to the closet…under the stairs…next week!

"Oh, that's nice dear."

I mean, it DOES have a door (sort of!)

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 9, 2010
Secretly, Secret Vlog

Secretly, Secret Vlog from Liz Thompson on Vimeo.

This is what happens, when you go to work and one of your kids "accidentally" finds your Flip camera and attempts to video tape one of her sisters "not on purpose," of course!

[snort]

Such drama, eh? Love that she mentions my blog:

"Do you think I survived, or do you think I died (i.e. she got busted and her sister killed her) leave your answer on ThisFullHouse.com!"

Can't wait to see what happens during their summer break, if it EVER gets here, I mean!

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 7, 2010
Because Nice Matters
Cancer Sucks Wet Poodle!

Dear Liz,

The American
Cancer Society is working tirelessly to eradicate cancer and to ease
the burden of those living with cancer. With your support, the American
Cancer Society is saving lives by helping people get well and stay
well, funding lifesaving research, and empowering people to fight back
against cancer.

Thank you again for your support.

Elizabeth T. H. Fontham, MPH, DrPH
President, American Cancer Society, Inc.

Name: Steve ******, Jr.

Donation Amount: One time donation of $100.00

Order ID: *******65

Authorization Code: ****82

Transaction Number: ******************5083

Transaction Date And Time: 6/4/2010 4:20 PM

Donation Preference: Cancer Research

As promised, thank you for ALL of your support (Happy Birthday, Bubs, I love you!) okay, now, it's your turn — please consider making a donation to the American Cancer Society!!!

[see title of post]

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 4, 2010
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun AND Maybe Peeps!

Me and my girls

I don't have a sister, so I can't say that I know what they are going through, but raising daughters is, well, sort of like what I would imagine boot camp would be like…for parents.

After a while, stuff tends to get a little sweaty, a bit sticky and, sometimes, very, very, painful, but in a good way (although, sweating, especially in certain places where a person ought not, you know, stick together, is NEVER a good thing) and then it's weigh in time.

"What do you mean I gained 320 pounds!?!?"

The estrogen levels, in our house, alone are enough to scare my husband, Garth [not his real name] into thinking, you know, maybe he and the boy should move into the shed.

Glen and my brother, Steve [yes, it's his REAL name

Because, there's just NO MORE ROOM in our garage — or, something.

"I HATE MY *insert body part here, or family member here*!!!"

No, they don't always like each other (or, me) and that's okay (sort of) but, every now and again, I need to remind myself, you know, it isn't easy being a girl.

Unless, it is a really hot day.

Aaaand, there is a sprinkler nearby.

Throw in a couple of teenagers.

Well, it's pretty easy to see that there is this tiniest spark of a woman inside, just waiting to burst out.

Aaaaand, for a brief moment, I'm allowed into their world and then, suddenly, the girls are okay with the fact that, you know, I'm their mom.

Me, too!

Like my youngest daughter's favorite pair of sneakers, I really do hope it lasts.

Them liking me, I mean, 'cawse, one day, they're going to find someone ELSE to love (maybe, even more than me) and that's okay (sort of) but, for now, they are MY peeps and I am totally keeping them!

© 2010 This Full House

June 2, 2010
Less Cancer, More Birthdays!
Today is MY birthday (never mind, which one!) and, in celebration of the 17th Anniversary of my 29th birthday (there, I said it!) I have partnered with the American Cancer Society's Choose Campaign (unpaid) by hosting a special giveaway on my shopping blog (ditto) to
help shine the spotlight on a sobering statistic:

One in three women will get cancer in her lifetime.

Considering my twin brother, Steve (yes, his REAL name) has been battling cancer for a few years, now (AND WINNING!)
I am committed to finding and sharing ways in which women can lead a healthier lifestyle.

Especially, moms like me – I mean, we do tend to put our children's needs first, right?

So, in lieu of sending me birthday presents (ahem) I thought it would be nice to do something special, right here, on my blogger-with-children-who-does-not-blog-about-her-children-mostly-type-um-blog.

[sound of crickets chirping]

So, in honor of my older brother (by 3 minutes, still, older than me) Steve:
- For every comment I receive on this post (because, you know, some folks STILL read blogs) I will donate $1.00 of what I've saved through BlogHerAds, this year (up to $100) to the American Cancer Society.
[NOTE: I would be THRILLED with the usual 3 comments — thankyouverymuch — but, feel free to pass the word along; I am donating the whole shuh-bang, anyway!]

I will leave comments open for 1 week (because, I know that you are busy) and then post a copy of my donation receipt.

Why?

Because, it's My birthday, being nice matters and cancer sucks wet poodle (der!) oh, and Happy Birthday, mah bruh-thuh!

© 2010 This Full House Blog

UPDATED TO ADD: COPY OF DONATION RECEIPT IS HERE — THANK YOU!!!
May 28, 2010
The Blog Post My Husband Will Most Likely Hate – If He Read My Blog, I Mean.

One day, last week (I forget which, exactly) I opened the front door to let the sunshine in and I kept it open, all day.

The birds were chattering (loudly) and the temperature, outside, hovered around 40 degrees.

As the dog watched the dust bunnies frolic, in and out, from underneath the couch, I allowed the calmness of the moment to wash over me and wring my heart free of all the troubles that have claimed squatter's rights for the last few months.

It was glorious.

Then, the clock on the wall began mocking me (BEYOTCH!) a squirrel ran in front of the door (RODENT!) and the dog nearly made my husband's wishes come true, by giving me a heart attack, when he ran, head first, into the glass storm door.

Stupid dog!

Garth [not his real name] has been making light of the fact that perhaps it is time that he looked for a new wife.

"Since, mine seems to be breaking down."

Oh, he didn't mean it, not really, and it's not like he was trying to be mean, or lying, for that matter, it's just that, well, I am…feeling quite broken, at the moment.

"You hate me, don't you?"

Of course, I don't hate my husband — although, I would be tempted to click the "unlike" button, upon occasion, if life was really like Facebook — on the contrary, I often times admit (yes, out loud) that I could NEVER do, you know, what I do, without having Garth [not his real name] on my side.

Until now.

(more…)

February 24, 2010
Hope Has Another Birthday

Happy 8th Birthday, Hopey [formerly known as Mini-me] 'cause nobody RAWKS a Band-Aid like you do, baby girl!

You grazed your elbow, bumping into the kitchen wall and skinned the side of your foot running out of your shoes, proving to your grandparents, once more, that you, my littlest one, are growing up to be more like your mother, every day.

"Please, be careful."

You always get SO excited about your birthday. So do your sisters and brother. Remember last year? When you grew tired of waiting for mommy and took upon yourself to send out your own birthday party invitations.

"Hi, I'm calling to RSVP for Hopey's brithday party tomorrow!"

[sound of crickets chirping]

Good thing you remembered to include our phone number, right?

My, how you've grown since your last birthday!

Remember how fun your "real" party was, though — your sisters and brother worked really hard to include all of your favorite party games, like a pillow case relay and an eating contest using your favorite donuts (powdered sugar) and Holly's face painting skillz are totally wicked, right?

This year?

Well, mama and papa haven't been feeling so great. So, we've been spending a lot of our weekends visiting with them. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to do, well, everything else. You are my youngest and old enough to know that sometimes things just don't work out quite like we would like them to, no matter how hard we try to plan them.

"It's okay, Mommy, I can always have my friends come over on summer vacation, or something."

It's always something, isn't it?

"Did you get Hopey a birthday present, yet?"

[sound of crickets chirping]

Late last night, I took your oldest sisters out, alone, to shop for bathing suits.

"Just…pick…one…already!"

You know how hard it is to shop with them, right?

"The store is closing in 15 minutes!"

Aaaand, I still had to get you a present.

"What do you mean, you don't have any more Camp Rock!?!?"

Actually, they didn't have any dolls left and I know how much you LOVE Joe Jonas — even though he didn't answer any of your fan letters — but, mommy waited until the last minute (AGAIN!) and, well, sometimes stuff like this just doesn't seem fair, does it?

"SPECTACULAR!"

Did you ever notice how loud some teenagers can get — especially, in Target — annoying, right?

"No, look, Hopey loves Nikko!"

Who?

"Nevermind, just trust me, okay Mom?!?"

I mean, you ALL do share the same bedroom and your sisters seem to know you way better…than I do!

"Good night, Mommy."

We didn't get home until almost 10:00 o'clock and, well, I know, you should have been in bed (and asleep) as most almost 8-year-olds would be, probably, already.

"It's okay, if you're too tired to do my birthday clues."

I hid them right before daddy and I went to bed [yes, I make my kids hunt for their birthday presents] only because you have this way of making mommy forget what hurts and I think maybe you learned that from watching your sisters and brother.

Sorry, I should have vlogged your reaction for Holly to see, when she gets home from school later, but mommy didn't have her coffee yet and wasn't quite quick enough!

I mean, judging by this, "SPECATUCULAR!?!?" look on your face, they really do seem to know what they' are doing, right?

I mean, Heather got you this super cool, Super Girl cape on her 7th grade class trip to Great Adventure, last week. Awesome, right?

Aaaand, Glen did give you Tech Decks thinking that you'd probably enjoy having a set of your own, instead of, you know, playing with his….ALL THE TIME!

Still, the best part is when I took this picture of you hugging your dad, since we don't seem to have many of those, I'm not quite sure why, but daddy didn't even yell at me for taking his picture…oh, wait…yeah, now I remember.

You know how we ALL get so busy and sometimes forget to show it — wow, look how you've grown since last year — but, I hope you realize how very much we love you, right?

Nobody RAWKS a pink satin super suit like you do, baby girl!

Because, there is only one Hope and life just wouldn't be the same without you — have a super Happy Birthday, sweetie — we love you, Hopey!!!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

June 16, 2009