This Full House Archive

Tag: mommybloggers

Movers, Shakers and (sometimes inadvertent) Garbage Pickers

I'm an impulsive mover. I move things. From here, to there, or maybe it will look better in THAT corner.

If I had a dollar, for every time my husband, Garth [not his real name] came home to find the house looking a little, you know, different? Hmph. Well, the poor guy could use a pair of industrial strength shin guards!

"YOUCH, when DID THIS get in here!?!?"

I'd be doing dishes (yes, dishwasher is STILL broken) and I'll be staring out the kitchen window, when, all of a sudden, it would hit me.

"Maybe the kitchen table would look better in the dining room?"

It's a sickness, I know.

"We'll be there, tomorrow, between 12 and 3."

So, I, once again, ignored the growing pile of clean laundry (don't try this at home, I AM A PROFESSIONAL!) and continued to deny the fact that the holidays have been over for, like the last two weeks (it's gonna be a Valentine's tree) and started, you know, moving stuff.

From here, to there, etc… (desk looks like a television hutch, because, you know, it was) to make room for a new couch!

[heart's all a flutter]

I've been saving up for this baby (yes, with MY own money) and FINALLY bought one (yes, with REAL money) with the intention of cozey-ing-up our game-slash-laundry-slash-media-slash-mom's hideout-slash-playroom.

"I'll MAKE IT fit!"

Did I mention, the room is cozy, or that the doorway, to get in, is even, you know, a cozier fit?

"It ain't gonna fit through that door, lady."

Der. I know. That's why I spent the rest of the morning, cleaning up after the dawg (two whole hanging baskets full of Doofus-dung, thank goodness it was frozen, you're welcome!) so that the delivery dudes could bring Molly (we name our cars, too) through the back door.

"Mierda!"

Now, I don't remember much of my high school Spanish (brain cells are at a premium, these days) how-evuh, I do speak several languages…of POOP!

Long story, short (you're welcome) Miss Molly fit right in and it's as if I designed the room around her, right?

Riiiiight. Color my decorating style as, "sheer dumb luck," whatever, sometimes, change is good — I am THRILLED with the end result and, well, guess where I'm spending the rest of MY morning?

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Aaaaaand, YES, I am totally ignoring the fact that I forgot to lock the cabinet and Doofus-Dawg got into the garbage, AGAIN!!!

[heavy sigh]

Some things NEVER change, stupid dawg!

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

January 15, 2010
This Ones Tricky, You Have to Use Imaginary Numbers, Like Eleventeen

I give up, you figure them out…

When I told my husband, Garth [not his real name] I was pregnant with our youngest, it didn't come as much of a surprise, really; not like the first time, I mean, when he closed his eyes, fell back on the bed, grabbed his head (with both hands) and sort of just laid there, for a few minutes, moaning.

We had already signed the contract on this house (less full, at the time) and then came Valentine's Day and, well, he WAS there when it ALL happened.

Three more (+) signs, later:

"Well, at least, no one will have to sit alone, on the rollercoaster."

Then, all of a sudden, our lives turned into one big Dr. Seuss book:

One Kid, two kids,

Meh, what's one more kid

Some have brown eyes, except their brother

Don't ask me why

Go ask your mother.

Little did we know, all those days (and nights) ago, how prophetic my husband words would be.

GAH! Now, I'm speaking in rhyme? Hang on, this will be real quick.

[slams head on laptop]

There, that did the trick…I mean…where was I?

Rollercoasters? Feh, they're for wussies. Raising tweens and teens? Best get your barf bags ready, now. Not only will they make you eat your words…

"I will never YELL at my kids, ever."

They'll make you chew on them a bit, first, before spitting them all over your sensible shoes, too!

"HANG UP YOUR WET TOWELS, DAMMIT!!!"

Wet towels. Tragic. I know.

[sound of puking]

I got sick, this week…NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT!

[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

I know, because I got my period at the same time (you're welcome!) it's how I roll and, well, best get your heating pads ready, now. Being a woman sucks. Being a woman of a certain age, sucks wet poodle.

"Go back to bed, Mah!"

It was already dark, the kids were ALL home from school (thank you, Carpooling Mom!) but, it was the quiet that woke me.

"Buh, dinner…breakfast dishes still…I gotta go…um."

Stupid analgesics.

"Your sick, we got this."

Aaaand, with a slightly confused and saddened heart, I turned toward the stairs, thinking that perhaps it was good that the kids were learning to take care of themselves (jinx) and slowly climbed closer to the realization that, one day, they won't be needing me, at all.

"Sheesh…she's like a kid, sometimes."

Judging by the frequency of my bathroom stops, I imagine it will be real soon, too.

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

January 8, 2010
25 Things You Did NOT Want to Know

My friend WeaselMomma (seriously, that's her name) blogged 25 Things You Didn't Want to Know and then dared me to, you know, participate in a little TMI and, well, since I am ALL about finding new ways to avoid the laundry, here you go:

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. My twin brother, Steve (HAH!)

2. Where was your first kiss? Bobby Nelson kissed me In an abandoned building near my house (What? I live in Jersey, YO!)

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Does throwing eggs at the house where meanest man in the neighborhood lived, count?

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Yes, and the besterd deserved it!

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yes, but a large number of people also sang as back up, at the time, so it's all good.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Eyes. My husband, Garth [not his real name] for example, has the prettiest pair of smiling eyes I ever saw and they change from green to blue and sometimes even gray, depending on what he's wearing, so cool.

7. What really turns you off? Bullies (cyber and IRL)

8. What do you order at Starbucks? I'm a McCafe sort of girl, really.

9. What is your biggest mistake? Thinking that I can make everyone (and their Grandmother) happy.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? No.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I can raise my right eyebrow (only) and do that, "Live long and prosper," Star Trek thing with my hands.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yes. My husband thinks I look a lot like Mariska Hargitay (riiiiiiiight, we both have Hungarian dads…that's about it) and I get stopped by senior citizens at the grocery store, a lot, when I wear my "smart girl glasses," telling me that I look like Sarah Palin. Also, just last night, when my son had two of his friends over playing Scene It and they ALL thought I looked like Demi Moore (in Ghost) aaaaand, if I don't shave my legs, Sasquatch!

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Yes. I still adore watching Disney movies and there's just something about Sponge Bob….bahahahahahahahahahaha.

14. Did you have braces? No. Wish I did. My oldest two are getting braces in March [shiver] so, I guess I will just have to live vicariously through their having straighter teeth, in a few years, or twenty.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes and no. Although, I've grown used to my 5' 10' frame, I find myself hunching over a lot and blame ALL you shorter people for, you know, my bad posture!

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? My husband makes me a fresh pot of coffee (or, caw-fee, if you're from Jersey) every morning, for the last twenty years. What? Caw-fee lovers will perhaps agree, that this is TOTALLY sex-see!!!

17. When do you know it’s love? When he/she makes you coffee, in the morning.

18. Do you speak any other languages? I can speak, read and write Hungarian; some Spanish; know lots of curse words, in many others.

19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? No.

20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes.

21. What’s something that really annoys you? Driving in friggin' Jersey, 'nuf said!

22. What’s something you really like? Christmas music (sorry, Melisa!)

23. Can you dance? At cocktail hour, most anyone can! Can I dance well is another question and, well, I think I've already answered THAT one.

24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Unfortunately, yes. Friends and family will agree, I am perhaps the clumsiest person on the planet!

25. Tag 5 people! Okay [slapping you on the back] TAG, YOU'RE IT!

Because, I'm not very good at following rules (I get that from my Hungarian grandmother) feel free to leave a comment, answering any one of these questions, and, well, we'll call it even, okay?

Have a great weekend!

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 4, 2009
Mothers Working Against Guilt Need Not Apply

Behind every successful woman, is a basket of dirty laundry…Sally Forth

Except, in my case, it IS a "pile" of "clean" laundry and, well, success is a relative term, isn't it?

According to some members of my family (especially, those who are, you know, mostly, women) I should consider myself lucky, whenever my husband, Garth [not his real name] is brave enough to come home and "actually" gets out of the car, at night.

I get that.

Still. Why are we women (mothers or non) so gosh-darned hard on each other?

(more…)

November 18, 2009
All I Want for Christmas

In case you're wondering whatever happened to Monday Mornings the Doofus-Dawg?

He's lost in a pile of laundry.

Aaaaanway, I was supposed to start my "real job" today (YAY!) but. they offered to give me an increase to 4 hours, 3 times per week and I took it (more milk money, double-YAY!) but, I don't start until next week (BOO!) and I've got somethin' else to show you.

[grin]

So, feel free to grab a cup of cawfee, or whatever, I'll wait!

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

November 2, 2009
Open House Blog Tour – 21st Showing

My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I love attending open houses
– especially, if it's a home that we've admired from the sidewalk, or wondered…you
know…what the heck is going on in there?

Welcome to the Open House Blog Tour where everyone (and anyone) is free to come and leave links (PG-13, please) telling us about your individual blogging events, fundraisers, giveaways, book tours, contests, or if you have a burning blog post and just need a shout out, go for it!

I mean, who couldn't use a little linky love? Make sure you leave a link in the Mr. Linky fields below along with a short description of the event.

Okay, I'll start:

Leave a comment, if you'd like — trust me, I know how busy you are — and, don't worry if you forget, it'll be here, every Thursday linked permanently in my archives here and on my shopping website (two linkies for the price of one entry) so, if you happen to stop by,
whenever, just go ahead and leave your link; I'm easy.

Feel free to share – here's the button and the code to use:

<a href="http://www.thisfullhouse.com/reviews/open-house-blog-tour/"><img
src="http://www.thisfullhouse.com/design/open-house-blog-tour-badge.jpg">

ALREADY SHOWING: OPEN HOUSE BLOG TOURS

Happy blog hunting!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

June 25, 2009
Open House Blog Tour – 20th Showing

My husband, Garth (not his real name) and I love attending open houses
– especially, if it's a home that we've admired, or wondered…you
know…what the heck is going on in there?

Welcome to the Open House Blog Tour where everyone (and anyone) is free to come and leave links (PG-13, please) telling us about your individual blogging events, fundraisers, giveaways, book tours, contests, or if you have a burning blog post and just need a shout out, go for it!

I mean, who couldn't use a little linky love? Make sure you leave a link in the Mr. Linky fields below along with a short description of the event.

Okay, I'll start:

Leave a comment, if you'd like — trust me, I know how busy you are — and, don't worry if you forget, it'll be here, every Thursday linked permanently in my archives here and on my shopping website (two linkies for the price of one entry) so, if you happen to stop by,
whenever, just go ahead and leave your link; I'm easy.

Feel free to share – here's the button and the code to use:

<a href="http://www.thisfullhouse.com/reviews/open-house-blog-tour/"><img
src="http://www.thisfullhouse.com/design/open-house-blog-tour-badge.jpg">

ALREADY SHOWING: OPEN HOUSE BLOG TOURS

Happy blog hunting!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

June 18, 2009
Open House Blog Tour – 18th Showing

My husband, Garth (not his real name) and I love attending open houses
– especially, if it's a home that we've admired, or wondered…you
know…what the heck is going on in there?

Welcome to the Open House Blog Tour where everyone (and anyone) is free to come and leave links (PG-13, please) telling us about your individual blogging events, fundraisers, giveaways, book tours, contests, or if you have a burning blog post and just need a shout out, go for it!

I mean, who couldn't use a little linky love? Make sure you leave a link in the Mr. Linky fields below along with a short description of the event.

Okay, I'll start:

(more…)

June 4, 2009
Mom Bloggers, Old School Blogging, Memes and Zombie Chickens
Yes, it's that time of year — what, is it almost BlogHer…again? — all snarkiness aside, mostly, there's already been lots of drama, filling up my Twitter stream, enough to choke a chicken. Not that I ever would…choke a chicken, I mean…still, I think that this would be good time, as any, to bring back an old school blogging tradition.

The dreaded blog meme.

[pronounced "meem" like in the word "dream," for you young whippersnappers]

It's sort of like a chain letter, only, less annoying – especially, if it says something nice about, you know, somebody else – and I remember the days when the blog meme was just a really cool way to pass along some linky love.

You see, I'm late. [eyes go wide] NO! Not that late! [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed] I mean, earlier this month, Lisa [a.k.a. Lisa Wants the Floor] said some really nice things about me. Like, I made her stomach hurt (??) or, something like that and then she gave me something called the Zombie Chicken award!

[scratches head]

I think it's contagious. Now I have to give it to someone else. Well, because It's a rule:

THE ZOMBIE CHICKEN AWARD

"The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken – excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all…"

See, I really don't have any choice in the matter, so here it goes:
1. Busy Mom (http://www.busymom.net) One word: Trendsetter – she was a busy before it was cool – the mother of all bloggers, figuratively speaking, of course, because, she's not THAT old, really.
2. Suburban Scrawl (http://www.suburbanscrawl.blogspot.com) Two words: Mommy Porn – this woman hooks me up with my fake celebrity boyfriends – go get you some.
3. Mommy Needs Coffee (http://www.mommyneedscoffee.com) Three words: She Talks Funny – writes pretty gosh-darned good, too.
4. The Bean Blog (http://www.thebeanblog.com/) Four words: She's Got Five Kids – and she's still lives to write about – 'nuf said.
5. The Mommy Blog (http://www.themommyblog.net) Five words: Been Reading Her Long Time – she's smart and funny as hell…if there was a hell…and it was funny…I mean – you should be, too.
Thank you for all of your inspiration, for knowing that I am a dork, but liking me, anyway (I think) and in true Golden Girl fashion, thank you for being a friend.

Pass it along, or play along, if you wish. My job is done, here. Frankly, I don't need no wrath from no zombie chickens!

In Other News: I admit it, my house stinks, how about yours? Right. But, help me win a room makeover and I'll love you, forever — vote for us, here!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
May 22, 2009
Open House Blog Tour – 17th Showing

My husband, Garth (not his real name) and I love attending open houses
– especially, if it’s a home that we’ve admired, or wondered…you
know…what the heck is going on in there?

Welcome to the Open House Blog Tour where everyone (and anyone) is free to come and leave links (PG-13, please) telling us about your individual blogging events, fundraisers, giveaways, book tours, contests, or if you have a burning blog post and just need a shout out, go for it!

I mean, who couldn’t use a little linky love? Make sure you leave a link in the Mr. Linky fields below along with a short description of the event. Okay, I’ll start:

Leave a comment, if you’d like — trust me, I know how busy you are — and, don’t worry if you forget, it’ll be here, every Thursday linked permanently in my archives here and on my review blog (two linkies for the price of one entry) so, if you happen to stop by,
whenever, just go ahead and leave your link; I’m easy.

Feel free to share – here’s the button and the code to use:

<a href=”http://www.thisfullhouse.com/reviews/open-house-blog-tour/”><img
src=”http://www.thisfullhouse.com/design/open-house-blog-tour-badge.jpg”>

ALREADY SHOWING: OPEN HOUSE BLOG TOURS

Happy blog hunting!

In Other News: I admit it, my house stinks, how about yours? Right. But, help me win a room makeover and I’ll love you, forever — vote for us, here!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

May 21, 2009