This Full House Archive

Tag: momblogs

The Boy Who Lived, Without
A Bedroom Door?

Hopey's puppet of a mean principal that's supposed to be a clown (says, she was told to think out of the box) displayed at the coffee counter (or, caw-fee, if you're from Jersey)

Last week (I think) our school district held a book fair at our local Barnes & Noble and my two youngest children were invited to read their persuasive writing pieces.

"So, what's yours about?"

My almost-9-year-old daughter wrote about being tall enough (FINALLY!) to experience her first ride on "a real roller coaster" during a visit to Casino Pier in Seaside Heights, NJ last June.

"Aaaand, what did you pick?"

My 11 year-old son's piece was a little closer to home.

"Mine is about convincing you and dad to give me a door!"

We have doors. Lots of them. There's the front door, the back door, the bathroom door.

[takes breath]

There's the door that leads to the girls' bedroom and the h…e…double…hockey…sticks that is [gulp] their bathroom!

"Because, you know, everyone ELSE has a door."

My son's bedroom is upstairs, like mine, but his is at the top of the stairs and, well, long story short (you're welcome!) no, he doesn't have door.

[gulp]

"You didn't write anything that would, you know, embarrass mom, or dad, right?"

Because, heaven knows, I sure as heck wouldn't (ahem!) and, well, everyone knows that karma is a witch, right?

Riiiiiiight.

Even longer story, shorter (seriously, you should be thanking me!) oh yes, there was lots of lamenting about stuff, like:

(a) Being the only boy, stinks.

(b) Having a bedroom without a door, stinks even more.

(c) Having the litter box…in his room…you guessed it…stinks, BIGTIME.

(d) His sisters are barging in all the time.

(e) Refer to (a) above.

In hindsight, I should be glad that their readings were held in the cafe.

"What did he just say?"

Aaaand, that the blender was really, really loud.

"He can't keep the girls out of his bedroom!"

[eyes go wide]

"No, I don't think he means regular girls…dear."

[one beat, two beats]

"Oh, well, no wonder his parents won't give him a door!"

Not for nothing, but you gotta love senior citizens (they were sisters, I think) but, I don't believe a hearing aide would have made a difference, either way and I shudder to think what the sweet old lady meant by "un-regular" girls.

"What is your boy's name?"

[bites lower lip]

"Harry…Harry Potter."

Aaaand, he's moving…to the closet…under the stairs…next week!

"Oh, that's nice dear."

I mean, it DOES have a door (sort of!)

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 9, 2010
Secretly, Secret Vlog

Secretly, Secret Vlog from Liz Thompson on Vimeo.

This is what happens, when you go to work and one of your kids "accidentally" finds your Flip camera and attempts to video tape one of her sisters "not on purpose," of course!

[snort]

Such drama, eh? Love that she mentions my blog:

"Do you think I survived, or do you think I died (i.e. she got busted and her sister killed her) leave your answer on ThisFullHouse.com!"

Can't wait to see what happens during their summer break, if it EVER gets here, I mean!

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 7, 2010
Because Nice Matters
Cancer Sucks Wet Poodle!

Dear Liz,

The American
Cancer Society is working tirelessly to eradicate cancer and to ease
the burden of those living with cancer. With your support, the American
Cancer Society is saving lives by helping people get well and stay
well, funding lifesaving research, and empowering people to fight back
against cancer.

Thank you again for your support.

Elizabeth T. H. Fontham, MPH, DrPH
President, American Cancer Society, Inc.

Name: Steve ******, Jr.

Donation Amount: One time donation of $100.00

Order ID: *******65

Authorization Code: ****82

Transaction Number: ******************5083

Transaction Date And Time: 6/4/2010 4:20 PM

Donation Preference: Cancer Research

As promised, thank you for ALL of your support (Happy Birthday, Bubs, I love you!) okay, now, it's your turn — please consider making a donation to the American Cancer Society!!!

[see title of post]

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 4, 2010
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun AND Maybe Peeps!

Me and my girls

I don't have a sister, so I can't say that I know what they are going through, but raising daughters is, well, sort of like what I would imagine boot camp would be like…for parents.

After a while, stuff tends to get a little sweaty, a bit sticky and, sometimes, very, very, painful, but in a good way (although, sweating, especially in certain places where a person ought not, you know, stick together, is NEVER a good thing) and then it's weigh in time.

"What do you mean I gained 320 pounds!?!?"

The estrogen levels, in our house, alone are enough to scare my husband, Garth [not his real name] into thinking, you know, maybe he and the boy should move into the shed.

Glen and my brother, Steve [yes, it's his REAL name

Because, there's just NO MORE ROOM in our garage — or, something.

"I HATE MY *insert body part here, or family member here*!!!"

No, they don't always like each other (or, me) and that's okay (sort of) but, every now and again, I need to remind myself, you know, it isn't easy being a girl.

Unless, it is a really hot day.

Aaaand, there is a sprinkler nearby.

Throw in a couple of teenagers.

Well, it's pretty easy to see that there is this tiniest spark of a woman inside, just waiting to burst out.

Aaaaand, for a brief moment, I'm allowed into their world and then, suddenly, the girls are okay with the fact that, you know, I'm their mom.

Me, too!

Like my youngest daughter's favorite pair of sneakers, I really do hope it lasts.

Them liking me, I mean, 'cawse, one day, they're going to find someone ELSE to love (maybe, even more than me) and that's okay (sort of) but, for now, they are MY peeps and I am totally keeping them!

© 2010 This Full House

June 2, 2010
Less Cancer, More Birthdays!
Today is MY birthday (never mind, which one!) and, in celebration of the 17th Anniversary of my 29th birthday (there, I said it!) I have partnered with the American Cancer Society's Choose Campaign (unpaid) by hosting a special giveaway on my shopping blog (ditto) to
help shine the spotlight on a sobering statistic:

One in three women will get cancer in her lifetime.

Considering my twin brother, Steve (yes, his REAL name) has been battling cancer for a few years, now (AND WINNING!)
I am committed to finding and sharing ways in which women can lead a healthier lifestyle.

Especially, moms like me – I mean, we do tend to put our children's needs first, right?

So, in lieu of sending me birthday presents (ahem) I thought it would be nice to do something special, right here, on my blogger-with-children-who-does-not-blog-about-her-children-mostly-type-um-blog.

[sound of crickets chirping]

So, in honor of my older brother (by 3 minutes, still, older than me) Steve:
- For every comment I receive on this post (because, you know, some folks STILL read blogs) I will donate $1.00 of what I've saved through BlogHerAds, this year (up to $100) to the American Cancer Society.
[NOTE: I would be THRILLED with the usual 3 comments — thankyouverymuch — but, feel free to pass the word along; I am donating the whole shuh-bang, anyway!]

I will leave comments open for 1 week (because, I know that you are busy) and then post a copy of my donation receipt.

Why?

Because, it's My birthday, being nice matters and cancer sucks wet poodle (der!) oh, and Happy Birthday, mah bruh-thuh!

© 2010 This Full House Blog

UPDATED TO ADD: COPY OF DONATION RECEIPT IS HERE — THANK YOU!!!
May 28, 2010
Wordless Wendesday: Welcome to Cape May Light House

I love how Hope is using one of her flip flops as the steering wheel – here are some more photos from our weekend away at Cape May – yes, this IS New Jersey.

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you're it: Wordless Wednesday

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

May 26, 2010
The Day I Quit Being the Good Wife

One of the ladies at the gym watches The Good Wife and keeps insisting that I would probably love it, too.

"I dunno."

You see, besides feeling as if I couldn't possibly relate to anything using the words "good" and "wife" in the same sentence ("big" and "dork," probably) I also have commitment issues with television.

"What time is it on?"

By the time I get home from work, eat and get the kids settled for the night (i.e. get them to at least admit that, you know, it IS bedtime) it's too late.

"Did you watch, last night?"

[slaps forehead]

"D'oh, I forgot it was on."

Actually, I was probably too busy inspecting the inside of my eyelids and/or fighting Doofus-Dawg for the couch.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but…"

This week, however, I learned that work won't be as much of an issue, anymore. In fact, my schedule is about to lighten up, considerably, from 6 months ago.

"…the owner has decided to close up shop, at the end of the month."

Everyone in my family has made sacrifices (trust me, they will ALL tell you, I'm sure) and, well, it will be nice NOT to have to worry about feeling guilty, sort of.

"I'm really, really, sorry."

Long story, short (you're welcome) yeah, sure, the money helped (stupid braces, dumb car insurance, silly college fund) but, my working and being away from my house, 4 days, every week, was putting a real strain on my house.

"If only I had known, ahead of time."

So, in a way, losing this job is really [gulp] a good thing.

"I certainly wouldn't have offered you the hours!"

Having to call the ladies I recently hired (like, just 2 or 3 weeks ago) and tell them that, you know, they are now, un-hired…not so much.

"I'm really, really, sorry."

In fact, way too much.

"It's not your fault."

I am (or, was) the manager (and I use the term very, very loosely) I sorta knew his business wasn't doing very well. Still, I had such GREAT plans and worked really, really hard to keep his customers and employees happy.

"I feel like SUCH an a**hole…"

Man, un-hiring people really, really, does suck. By Tuesday night, I was SO done. I poured myself a glass of wine (i.e. turned the tap on the box) kicked the dog off the couch (sorry, Doofie) and just stared at the television.

"I like you…I didn't start off liking you."

Aaaand, then the part of the The Good Wife came on (see above clip) which made me think of an earlier conversation I had, with a longtime employee, who took pleasure in pointing out the stuff…I did wrong.

"One of the machines is in the wrong place."

Didn't matter if I re-arranged the ENTIRE gym (which, you're supposed to, once a month) without anyone's help and that she could have corrected it (her own self) right?

"You're not the a**hole, here, in fact, we ALL know you worked your a** off, Liz."

Look, I'm not comparing myself to The Good Wife — that character is a lawyer and I am, well, you know — however, working lots of hours, being away from her kids and having to work EXTRA hard, feeling as if she has to prove herself, to EVERYONE, because she's a mom.

[bites lower lip]

Yeah, I felt her pain – still do – sort of.

"Shouldn't HE be making these calls?"

My poor husband, Garth [not his real name] what a good guy he is, really.

"Why are YOU apologizing?"

I mean, I already quit trying to be the best wife, or the perfect mother, years ago and he's seems to be okay with it.

"Because, I am a good manager…DAMMIT!"

Or, at least, I was — now, at least I can keep on pretending to be a good blogger/writer/whatever, right?

[sound of crickets chirping]

Sorry, I just can't seem to quit YOU…Internets…so, I guess you better start getting used to, you know, being stuck with me.

You're welcome!

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

May 14, 2010
Wordless Wednesday
Ocean’s Eleven

Photograph courtesy of my 11 year-old son, who FINALLY aced his last math test and has a penchant for blue.

What? It was either a $9.00 bottle of color, or a new cell phone — yes, I am also ONE OF THOSE parents!

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you're it: Wordless Wednesday

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

May 12, 2010
Everybody Was Fast Food Fighting…HAH!

I came home from dropping the kids off at school, this morning (a.k.a. the land of the carpool lanes from h.e.double.hockey.sticks) and found this propped up against one of the kitchen chairs.

My poor husband, Garth [not his real name] obviously, he's sick (and tired) of coming home and, well, let's just say, the kids have developed a bad case of daddy deafness and, sadly, showing signs of dain bramage, too.

"Pick up your clothes…what clothes…the clothes that are lying in front of your bed…what bed…"

[cue head explosion]

It's amazing, really, how quickly, a person's head can explode, I mean.

The ironic thing about all this is NOW I am the one…sitting in the driveway…just waiting, for whenever I think it's safe to come into the house, or until daddy's head explodes.

"Hi…um…what's for dinner?"

[three, two, one]

"HOT DOGS, OKAY?!?!?!?"

Absolutely.

"Mmmmmm, sounds good!"

Relax. They were 100% beef. Still. I thought it would be fun to write a little song about fast food (i.e. better than doing the laundry) because, you know SOMEONE is bound fight me on this one:

(more…)

April 27, 2010
Parenting Tip #2,100,382:
Always Learn the Rules, So You Can Break Them Properly

I'm a BIG believer in Karma — what comes around goes around, you get what you give and all that — it's simple, easy to remember and exactly the sort of logic required, to help ward off a sixth sense for getting myself into trouble,.

In other words, I am very capable of making an asshat out of myself, without anyone's help…thankyouverymuch, Mr. Dalai Lama!

For example: Wednesday – I wrote a post, on my shopping blog, about raising free spirits and teaching my girls to embrace their own sense of style.

KARMA…KARMA…KARMA…BAM!

Then, yesterday morning, I got home, saw the red light blinking on the answering machine and thought about, you know, ignoring it.

I mean, it could have been HGTV.

"Congratulations, you've been chosen as the winner of Green Home 2010!"

Probably not.

"Uh, hi, Mom, it's me, Glen…"

[wince]

"…um…well…uh…I'm in the principal's office…"

Seriously?

"…I got in trouble for wearing my wrestling t-shirt."

Yesterday, my son was sent to the principal's office for "inappropriate" attire and, well, I kinda, sorta KNEW that he was breaking the dress code and, you know, sent him to school, anyway.

"Are they gonna let you wear
that shirt?"

I wish I could say it was a rebellious need to question the school's authority in deciding what my kids should eat, drink and/or wear — although, I sometimes do think folks are getting a little, you know, militant about that sort of stuff — rather than, admit it was a simple attack of mommy brain.

"Yeah, I wore it to school lots of times."

Honestly, I guess I was just feeling really tired of arguing (ALL THE TIME) and, well, we were already late for our carpool.

"Fine."

Besides, it's about time my kids started accepting responsibility for their actions and, well, maybe even I can learn how to quit blaming myself, for every little thing they do wrong, right?

[beep]

Odd. He hung up. Oh, well…look, there's another message…maaaaaaaybe…

"Um…I forgot…you need to come to school and bring me a new shirt!"

D'oh…shuddup Dalai Lama…stupid HGTV!,

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

April 23, 2010