Morale of the story: Maybe I shouldn't holler at the kids, for leaving their stuff lying around the house, so much, right?
Feel better soon, Papa!
Happy Love Thursday, everyone!
© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
Tag: mombloggers
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The Blog Post My Husband Will Most Likely Hate – If He Read My Blog, I Mean.
One day, last week (I forget which, exactly) I opened the front door to let the sunshine in and I kept it open, all day.
The birds were chattering (loudly) and the temperature, outside, hovered around 40 degrees.
As the dog watched the dust bunnies frolic, in and out, from underneath the couch, I allowed the calmness of the moment to wash over me and wring my heart free of all the troubles that have claimed squatter's rights for the last few months.
It was glorious.
Then, the clock on the wall began mocking me (BEYOTCH!) a squirrel ran in front of the door (RODENT!) and the dog nearly made my husband's wishes come true, by giving me a heart attack, when he ran, head first, into the glass storm door.
Stupid dog!
Garth [not his real name] has been making light of the fact that perhaps it is time that he looked for a new wife.
"Since, mine seems to be breaking down."
Oh, he didn't mean it, not really, and it's not like he was trying to be mean, or lying, for that matter, it's just that, well, I am…feeling quite broken, at the moment.
"You hate me, don't you?"
Of course, I don't hate my husband — although, I would be tempted to click the "unlike" button, upon occasion, if life was really like Facebook — on the contrary, I often times admit (yes, out loud) that I could NEVER do, you know, what I do, without having Garth [not his real name] on my side.
Until now.
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Killing Two Birds With One Peartini
My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I don't get a chance to hang out together, a lot, anymore. Oh, we're fine. Thanks. It's just that, he works during the day and I don't get home until well after the dishwasher has been loaded from suppertime (no, not on purpose) unless, it's Friday.
"You're off tomorrow, right?"
Yes…I mean…but, not this week…um…no.
"But, you worked last Friday, didn't you?"
Aaaand, the Friday before that…too…even the kids couldn't help but notice Daddy was feeling a little, well, I swear, the poor guy was ready to break out into song, any moment.
"All…by…mah…se…eh…elf."
[reaches for tissue box]
"I don't wanna be."
[sniff-sniff]
All…by…mah…se..eh…elf…aaaaanymore."
This Saturday, however, we were BOTH home (WHOOT!) so, we spent the early afternoon food shopping (I know, don't be jealous) and life was good.
Until.
"Ready, Mommy?"
[eyes go wide]
"NOW where is SHE going?"
Oh, did I NOT mention, I gave the 16 yo permission to sleep over a friend's house, so she could get up early and go to church with her family since, you know, we seem to be in between religions, at the moment.
"But, isn't the other one babysitting, tonight?"
Yes, I also gave the 14 yo (i.e. the other one) permission to go to the mall with a friend and her mom (supposedly, Hot Topic had a sale, buy one Alice in Wonderland t-shirt, get two human sacrifices, free, or something) before, you know, the kid goes off and earns some more of her OWN spending money…DAMMIT!
"But, I wanted to go out WITH YOU…tonight!"
That's the thing about having live-in babysitters (I know, don't be jealous) you sort of forget that kids need to go out and have a little fun, too.
"We just spent the whole morning, together!"
If you consider jet-setting across town to take advantage of can-can sales, fun (like we do) I mean.
[reaches for tissue box]
"Okay, I would LOVE to go out with you!"
Because, I can't stand to see a grown man cry.
"Call mom and dad."
So, I fired up the crock pot (i.e. grandmas and grandpas gotta eat, too) then, picked up the 14 yo, bought her home so she could go to the bathroom (yes, she gets that from me) then, dropped her off at her babysitting gig ('cawse, you know, she can't drive, yet) put on my sexiest black boots (sorry, grandma and grandpa) directed my husband to this really cool new Asian bistro I heard about (YUM!) and spent the next hour seductively sipping a peartini (DITTO!) through heavily-glossed lips and gave Garth [not his real name] my FULL attention.
[licking lips]
Aaaaand, life was good…until dessert.
[eyes go wide]
"Something wrong?"
Oh, we're fine…really.
"So, WHAT ARE GUYS DOING HOME SO EARLY?"
Just killing two birds with one stone (i.e. guess that peartini was A LOT stronger, than I thought) you know?
"Thought you'd like to share some cake and coffee, with us!"
Besides, we haven't seen my in-laws in, well, forever, too. Aaaaand, life was pretty gosh-darned good…until.
"Soooo, how's the gym working out for you, Mrs. Manager?"
Peartini, anyone?
© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
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Love Thursday: So, Boom!
Love is….making mommy laugh at bedtime…so, BOOM!
Happy Love Thursday, everyone….'cawse, it IS almost Friday….so, BOOM!
© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
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Viewing the World Through Frozen Side Mirrors
Most days, I wake up and, if my feet hit the floor and my head is still attached, then, it really doesn't take much to convince myself that, YES, half the battle is actually getting out of bed and HOORAH! but, it's gonna be a good day…DAMMIT!
Until, it's time to leave the house.
"Why IS it so hard to make a left turn!?!?"
Then, I remembered.
"Oh yeah, 'cawse I live in Jersey!"
Is it just me, along with perhaps the rest of the Eastern seaboard, STILL digging out of one of the snowiest winter's in, well, recorded history (yeah, I'm looking at you, Washington, D.C.) or, has Snowmageddon (or, as I've come to call it, Snowpocalypse) frozen everyone's nice buttons, shut?
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She IS the Ty Pennington of Blog Design
Soooooo, what do ya' think? Cynthia at NW Blog Design put together an awesome new look for Scribbit (seriously, go take a peek, I'm pretty sure Michelle won't mind) and, well, in my opinion, her redesign fits the feel of her blog, very well!
"Love what you did at Scribbit's place!"
So, I thought, maybe, juuuuuuust maybe, Cyn could help even a dork (like me) get a virtual remodel — but, how DOES one best define This Full House?
Um, shuddup, I know, that was a rhetorical question, really.
After 16 years of perpetual renovation, (see virtual tour) IRL, I'm STILL staring at drywall, but we've ALL grown used to it and my house has this laid-back, sort of shabby ecclectic feel.
Even IF my house is a mess (IRL) I believe that Cyn hit the nail right on the head and, well, I really, really, like what she's done with the place!
"Honey, I blew up my navigation bar!"
Yeah, I was messing around a little and the nav bar does NOT work, at the moment (I know, act surprised, anyway) but, Cyn said she would help me fix it (she's a saint, really) right after she redoes my other blog, to match!
Since, you know, Ty Pennington won't even return my calls and NO, can't say as I blame him, either.
Stupid drywall!
[Edited to add: I fixed the nav bar…all…by..ownself…and, well, if only I could say the same for the rest of the house — stupid under-cabinet lighting!]
© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
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On A Long Winter’s Night
And the snow began to fall…aaaaand, fall…school was closed…the next day, too. Then, ALL the lights went out.
"GAAAAAAH!"
Aaaaand, DAYUM, it was dark.
"Don't NOBODY move!"
The sort of inky gloom that makes a person lose all sense of good grammar, too.
"Do we have any candles?"
Is the Pope, well, whatever.
[click, click, click, click]
"I'm cold…I have to go to the bathroom…I'm scared…I'm hungry!"
It's hard, you know? Living in the suburbs.
"Whatever you do, do NOT open that fridge!"
Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Time stops, in the dark.
"Okay, who blew out the candles?"
Like moths to a flame, they just can't help themselves.
"Are we gonna freeze…can we flush the toilet…are we gonna die…do we have enough food?
[click, click, click, click]
"Everyone, close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax."
[whoosh]
"Okay, who blew out the candles?"
Honestly, I don't know how the pioneers did it.
"Um…wait…wait…I got one!"
It's hard, you know? Playing charades…in the dark, inky, gloom.
"No, it's MY turn!"
Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Can cabin fever kill?
[flash, blink, blink, zap]
"POWER'S BACK!"
Aaaand, DAYUM, just in time, too.
"QUICK, turn the lights out AGAIN!"
[ZAP!]
"GAAAAAAH!"
Of course, pioneer parents probably would have agreed that playing head games on your kids is really quite fun.
"Don't NOBODY move!"
Or, perhaps if they had really good timing AND quick access to the circuit breakers, they probably would…I mean.
FWAHMP!
"Okay, who blew one?"
Stupid snowpocalypse!
© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
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Love Thursday: Quiet Time
Love is….finding a quiet moment.
Happy Love Thursday, everyone. May you find yourself…a little quiet time.
If all else fails, tell your kids (or, whoever) that you are giving yourself a time-out, today.
‘Cawse, I said so!
© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
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You Can Haz “Flawz!”
See that really pretty girl, up there? Well, her name is Caitlin Crosby and she is a singer-songwriter in her twenties.
Yeah, I don't remember what it was like…either.
However, raising 1 tween and 2 teenage girls (no, I haven't forgotten about the boy) who fight with image issues, as early as the 2nd grade (yeah, I know!) aaaand then…every…blessed…day…for the rest of their lives…well, it IS slowly (and painfully) coming back to me.
"Oh great, another pop tart!"
Being a mom (or dad) is hard (understatement of the year) but, IMO, parenting teens and tweens, at an age when female performers are advertising "sexy" as the new "sixteen," or "sexteen," if you will, well, my life IS downright rock-like.
Then again, us parenting-types haz flawz…too…aaaand, I'm not just talking about sagging breasts, or laugh lines, that continue running down, right to my butt, either!
[allows time for a mental etch-a-sketch]
Caitlin created a home-made and moving video highlighting all people from all walks of life embracing (and loving) who they are.
So, while I try to convince a couple of appliance delivery dudes that, "YES, you got the right house," and "I'LL MAKE IT FIT, DAMMIT!" please feel to grab a beverage and take a moment to watch (and listen to) FLAWZ:
Color me optimistic (or a little naive, even) but, I really like the message in Caitlin's new video (not to mention, her bangin' voice) and, well, maybe, juuuuust maybe, there IS hope for us parenting-types, too!
FLAWZ and all!
© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.
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This Ones Tricky, You Have to Use Imaginary Numbers, Like Eleventeen
I give up, you figure them out…
When I told my husband, Garth [not his real name] I was pregnant with our youngest, it didn't come as much of a surprise, really; not like the first time, I mean, when he closed his eyes, fell back on the bed, grabbed his head (with both hands) and sort of just laid there, for a few minutes, moaning.
We had already signed the contract on this house (less full, at the time) and then came Valentine's Day and, well, he WAS there when it ALL happened.
Three more (+) signs, later:
"Well, at least, no one will have to sit alone, on the rollercoaster."
Then, all of a sudden, our lives turned into one big Dr. Seuss book:
One Kid, two kids,
Meh, what's one more kid
Some have brown eyes, except their brother
Don't ask me why
Go ask your mother.
Little did we know, all those days (and nights) ago, how prophetic my husband words would be.
GAH! Now, I'm speaking in rhyme? Hang on, this will be real quick.
[slams head on laptop]
There, that did the trick…I mean…where was I?
Rollercoasters? Feh, they're for wussies. Raising tweens and teens? Best get your barf bags ready, now. Not only will they make you eat your words…
"I will never YELL at my kids, ever."
They'll make you chew on them a bit, first, before spitting them all over your sensible shoes, too!
"HANG UP YOUR WET TOWELS, DAMMIT!!!"
Wet towels. Tragic. I know.
[sound of puking]
I got sick, this week…NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT!
[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]
I know, because I got my period at the same time (you're welcome!) it's how I roll and, well, best get your heating pads ready, now. Being a woman sucks. Being a woman of a certain age, sucks wet poodle.
"Go back to bed, Mah!"
It was already dark, the kids were ALL home from school (thank you, Carpooling Mom!) but, it was the quiet that woke me.
"Buh, dinner…breakfast dishes still…I gotta go…um."
Stupid analgesics.
"Your sick, we got this."
Aaaand, with a slightly confused and saddened heart, I turned toward the stairs, thinking that perhaps it was good that the kids were learning to take care of themselves (jinx) and slowly climbed closer to the realization that, one day, they won't be needing me, at all.
"Sheesh…she's like a kid, sometimes."
Judging by the frequency of my bathroom stops, I imagine it will be real soon, too.
© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.