Tag: jersey tomatoes

  • Oh yes! There will be tomatoes, dammit!

    My brother and I grew up in a 5 room house that was roughly 950 square feet, surrounded by steel mills and iron factories, and a mind-bogglingly complicated network of railroad tracks running along a port built to accommodate large tankers sailing their way through to New York City.

    Sitting on my parents' patio, flanked by rose bushes and arbors shaded by nearly every flowering and fruiting tree you can imagine, you'd believe yourself to be somewhere completely different.

    My father was a landscaper throughout our elementary school years and he'd often times bring home truckloads of stuff — trees and bushes his boss had thrown out or given up on at the end of the day, only after growing tired of arguing with my dad and his insisting that they were just merely "very nearly dead".

    He'd plant the "very nearly dead" stuff under my bedroom window in a raised bed he'd sectioned off as "the hospital" and they would always (and I mean ALWAYS!) thrive enough to be re-planted, somewhere else.

    At thirteen years old, I thought it was magical! 

    For reasons too long (and boring!) to go into (you're welcome!) I decided NOT to plant a vegetable garden, this summer. However, my not being able to send one of the kids outside to pick a couple of tomatoes and cucumbers for dinner…well, yeah, no…it just doesn't seem like summer.

    Oh, my brother sent over a couple of plants he'd grown from seed, but I never got a chance to get them into the ground in time and…well, yeah, no…they were just merely very nearly dead, dammit.

    So, my husband sectioned off an area next to the shed and I threw the plants in there, hoping they would live, for a little while longer, maybe.

    Then it rained (A LOT!) and then it got cold (welcome to New Jersey!) and we all pretty much lost hope of ever being able to pick a tomato or cucumber, fresh off of the vine.

    Until, this morning. I went to hang a couple of blankets out on the clothes line (because the dryer is being all pissy!), glanced over toward the shed and guess what?!?

    Late Bloomers

    I was all like, "What magic is this?!?" and although they'd only JUST begun to bear fruit, "Oh yes! There WILL be tomatoes!!!" DAMMIT!

    Late Bloomers 3

    Aaaaand, cucumbers…**wipes tears from eyes**…we WILL have cucumbers…YAY!!!

    Late Bloomers 2
    After my son cuts the grass and I get the youngest to do a little weeding, of course…because, she's the one that placed the "Hope" stake into the garden…it's all HER fault, right?!? RIGHT?!?

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Riiiiiiiiiiight. But don't tell her I said so, because Hope is thirteen and STILL believes in magic, too!

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  • D’oh, There’s a Deer in My Garden, Dear Maria, Dear Maria!

    VargaMaria
    This is my paternal great-grandmother, Maria, in Hungary.  My father spent many childhood summers, giving up his "city boy ways," living the "simple country life," with Maria (his mother had him late in life and, apparently, he was a handful!) and, according to my father, it was anything and everything…but, simple!

    Still, as tough as Maria's life was, my father insists that she was the sweetest, kindest, most gentlest person on earth.

    Unlike, her great-granddaughter (that would be me!) who is about ready to snare her some Bambi!

    Exhibit a deer tracks Exhibit A:  Deer tracks (post-sprinkler) this morning.

    No, I don't want to hurt Bambi (much) but, gardening is HARD work and, all of a sudden, after 17 years of fighting with aphids, hornworms and garden slugs (oh my!) NOW it seems like we've got deer!

    Exhibit b hopey's prized cabbageExhibit B:  Hopey's prized-cabbage (she was growing to win a $1000 scholarship) beheaded!

    Not just any deer (mind you) but, ravenous-militant-vegetable-swiping-giant-moose-of-an-animal that carries away an entire head of cabbage!?!?

    Exhibit c tomato plants chewedExhibit C:  Tops of tomato plants chewed!

    I went out to pick some tomatoes a few weekends ago and…OMG…where have ALL of my tomatoes gone?

    Exhibit d chewed parsleyExhibit D:  What was my parsley!

    I know…so, we've got deer…no BIG deal, right?

    Exhibit e motion detectorExhibit E:  WTH is it?

    All I kept thinking was…this is MY garden (DAGNABIT!) and WWMD (what would Maria do?) no question about it — I HAVE TO DEFEND IT!  So, Garth (not his real name) installed this sweet little motion detector smack dab in the middle of my Concord grape vine! 

    Just like Maria's (see picture at top of post) minus the motion detector, I mean.

    Exhibit f new growth Exhibit F:  New growth!!!

    Yes, Maria is probably ROIHGL (rolling over in her grave laughing) bless her squishy little heart!

    Exhibit g tomato flowers Exhibit G: Aaaand, we have tomato flowers!

    But, when in Jersey…you know…and, combined with my new bontanically-based insecticidal soap (email me and I'll let you know which) it seems to be working.

    Exhibit g eggplant Exhibit H: The vegetable bed that lived

    Oh, and no, we are NOT crucifying anyone – that's just the clothes line that Garth (not his real name) rigged up by the pool, so that the kids can hang up their wet towels, which, unfortunately, they do NOT use…DAGNABIT!

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    Morale of the Story:  Deer do NOT like eggplant.

    Stupid urban/suburban sprawl!

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