This Full House Archive

Tag: imperfect parent

  • Monday Morning with Doofus-Dog: ‘Cawse Dogs Are Perfect, While Parents Are, Well, You Know!

    Monday-morning-with-doofus-dog 

    D'oh, hello…mah name is Doofus-dog.

    Mommy is not at her desk, right now and…d'oh…she asked me to…uh…excuse me a minute, puh-leeze.

    BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF!

    D'oh, sorry 'bout that.  Ah hates squirrels.  Don't you?  Anyways.  Mommy is not here, I think and…um…d'oh yeah…ah remember now.

    WOOF-WOOF-BARK-WOOFITY-BARK-BARK!

    Stupid squirrels!

    D'oh, aaaanyways, she's a little under the…um…couch…no, that's naught it…wait, ah remember now…she's under the…uh…wood chipper…d'oh…NO!…she's a little under the weather, that's right…d'oh…whatever that means.

    SCRATCH-SCRATCH-SCRATCH!

    D'oh, hello…wait a minute…do ah know you?

    [heavy sigh]

    D'oh yeah, ah remember now…um…ah'm supposed to tell you that you can always go visit her at someplace called The Imperfect Dawg…d'oh…that's naught right, either…'cause, everybody knows dawgs are perfect.

    SNORT!

    D'oh yeah, ah remember now…uh…she done did write something for the Imperfect Parent, today and…d'oh…gots something up at some place called Mamapedia, or something, too.

    AH-WHOO!

    D'oh, oh yah, and have nice Monday…'cause…shee-yah..you can tell it Doofus-dog said so.

    BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF

    You're welcome!

    Signed-doofus-dog

    © 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Just Another Manic Fun Day

    Mom and hope on fun day 2009It's only the second week in June and the month is already hitting me like a ton of bricks.  What, you too?  Sheesh.  I thought May was bad. 

    When I say bad, of course, I mean like "Christmastime" bad.

    Hands are out and asking me and Garth [not his real name] for, well, you got a couple of bucks for school store, or something?

    Yeah, kids here in Jersey are in school until the 23rd so, you know, off we go.

    Today, I'm headed out (hopefully, before the rain hits, dagnabit) because, I promised to visit my son on his Fun Day. 

    He's in the 4th grade and I normally stop going to Fun Day after they're in 3rd, because, well, in my opinion — after attending 9 consecutive years, times 4 kids — it pretty much stopped being fun, 2 kids ago.

    Here's a refresher course of how kids got to school here:

    Kindergarten – Grade 3
    Grade 4 and Grade 5
    Grade 6 – Grade 8
    Grade 9 – Grade 12

    Aaaaaand, did I mention, I've got a kid in each one of those schools?

    [unplugs phone and hides checkbook]

    But, Glen's been sick with the viral infection from hell — actually, we've had someone home sick since Memorial Day — and it's his first day back to school and I don't have a kid home, you know, sick…so, off I go.

    In the meantime, I've got a new article up over at my monthly column on Imperfect Parent (the lovely folks who help me keep the milk money flowing) it's my homage to Father's Day (la homage des la fete des peres, or something like that) entitled, "In His and Her Shoes" and you're more than welcome to click on over and read it, if you'd like.

    Then again, you don't have to, just tell me I'm pretty, or something and I'll love you forever.

    [click]

    DAYUM, works every time 🙁

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.