Tag: blogging

  • This Ones Tricky, You Have to Use Imaginary Numbers, Like Eleventeen

    This Full House Rock Band

    I give up, you figure them out…

    When I told my husband, Garth [not his real name] I was pregnant with our youngest, it didn't come as much of a surprise, really; not like the first time, I mean, when he closed his eyes, fell back on the bed, grabbed his head (with both hands) and sort of just laid there, for a few minutes, moaning.

    We had already signed the contract on this house (less full, at the time) and then came Valentine's Day and, well, he WAS there when it ALL happened.

    Three more (+) signs, later:

    "Well, at least, no one will have to sit alone, on the rollercoaster."

    Then, all of a sudden, our lives turned into one big Dr. Seuss book:

    One Kid, two kids,

    Meh, what's one more kid

    Some have brown eyes, except their brother

    Don't ask me why

    Go ask your mother.

    Little did we know, all those days (and nights) ago, how prophetic my husband words would be.

    GAH!  Now, I'm speaking in rhyme?  Hang on, this will be real quick. 

    [slams head on laptop]

    There, that did the trick…I mean…where was I?

    Rollercoasters?  Feh, they're for wussies.  Raising tweens and teens?  Best get your barf bags ready, now.  Not only will they make you eat your words…

    "I will never YELL at my kids, ever."

    They'll make you chew on them a bit, first, before spitting them all over your sensible shoes, too!

    "HANG UP YOUR WET TOWELS, DAMMIT!!!"

    Wet towels.  Tragic.  I know.

    [sound of puking]

    I got sick, this week…NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT!

    [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

    I know, because I got my period at the same time (you're welcome!) it's how I roll and, well, best get your heating pads ready, now.  Being a woman sucks.  Being a woman of a certain age, sucks wet poodle.

    "Go back to bed, Mah!"

    It was already dark, the kids were ALL home from school (thank you, Carpooling Mom!) but, it was the quiet that woke me.

    "Buh, dinner…breakfast dishes still…I gotta go…um."

    Stupid analgesics.

    "Your sick, we got this."

    Aaaand, with a slightly confused and saddened heart, I turned toward the stairs, thinking that perhaps it was good that the kids were learning to take care of themselves (jinx) and slowly climbed closer to the realization that, one day, they won't be needing me, at all.

    "Sheesh…she's like a kid, sometimes."

    Judging by the frequency of my bathroom stops, I imagine it will be real soon, too.

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Writing Challenge #4: The Resolution – I #fail(ed) My Way

    Write of passage

    This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging and brainchild of my friend, Mrs. Flinger.  Today’s challenge was to write about resolutions. Do you believe in them? Have you ever done them? Beliefs? Success? Goals?

    ——————————————————————-

    Yes, I've made resolutions and, seeing as I'm old (okay, older than most mom-type bloggers, I know, DAMMIT!) there are quite a few that I have made/failed to achieve, consistently, like:

    • 1.  Lose weight – #fail
    • B.  Get out of debt – #fail(ed)
    • 3.  Get organized – #epicfail

    You see where I'm going with this, right? 

    [bows head in shame]

    So, in lieu of a new bill, banning ALL resolution-making in the future (seriously, it could happen) I've come up with a theme song, inspired by Frank Sinatra, instead:

    I Blogged It My Way

    And now, it's a brand new year

    And so I face, another 12 months of perpetual pms and a really bad complexion

    [takes deep breath]

    My friends, I'll say it clear

    Being a mom-type blogger sucks, of this I'm certain

    Laundry baskets are full, the dishwasher is STILL broken

    And yes, I've blogged it ALL

    I blogged it my way

    Regrets, I've had a few

    But then again, I probably blogged that, too

    You're welcome

    What, so would you, when raising 4 exemptions

    Stuff just doesn't happen, it hits the fan, watch where you step

    This IS my mantra

    And more, much more than this

    I blogged it my way

    [clears throat]

    Yes, there were times

    I'm sure you knew

    When I blogged more than I could chew

    (???)

    But through it all, when there was doubt

    I sucked it up and blogged it out

    I Facebooked it all and STILL stood tall AND blogged it my way

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    I've loved, I've laughed and cried

    Twittered it too, no matter how confusing

    And now, as tears subside

    I find it all so amusing

    To think I made this, too

    And may I say, not in a shy way

    "Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I'm still a dork, aaaaanyway"

    [last verse, you're welcome!]

    For what is a mom, what has she got?

    If not for my blog, I'd lose my train of thought

    To say the things I truly feel, keyword Gods be #damn(ed)

    The record shows, even though my traffic numbers blow

    I blogged it my way!

    [instrumental]

    Yes, maybe we should ALL just blog it….aaaaanyway!

    Other folks participating, today:

    Write on!

    [Click here to view past Writing Challenges]

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Best Blog Pics of 2009

    Frozen Nest

    In the beginning…no, wait…let's not go that far back (you're welcome!) I'm entering my 7th year of blogging and was in the habit of embedding photos long before it was, you know, cool (shuttup!) as inspiration for that day's (or, week's) blog post.

    A picture's worth a thousand words (i.e. Worldess Wednesdays = a quick cure for writer's block) right?

    My friend Melisa (With one S) posted a month-by-month list of her favorite posts (she got the idea from Scary Mommy) aaaaand, since 2009 was, well, you know (ICK!) I'm focusing on the photos that represent the "best" of what this here blog is all about.

    Sort of — ready?

    (more…)

  • Writing Challenge #3: The Gift – Angels Bearing Lopsided Christmas Trees

    Write of passage

    This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging and brainchild of my friend, Mrs. Flinger.  Today’s challenge was Write about the Christmas Gift you remember the most.

    ——————————————————————-

    Like most of the kids in our neighborhood, my twin brother and I eagerly counted down the days until Christmas, by doing our homework, eating our all of our vegetables and cleaning our rooms, without being asked, in a desperate attempt to earn extra points with Santa Claus. 

    However, we were perhaps the only family in town without a tree. 

    "Not until Christmas Eve."

    We would sit and sulk in the back of our station wagon, on the way to the laundromat, or coming back home from food shopping, as our folks marveled at other people's houses, every weekend.  Still.  No tree.

    "In Hungary, kids had to wait until after midnight for the Christmas Angel."

    Oh, there were plenty of stories.  About trees and drunken angels.  Like, the year my grandfather decided to celebrate Christmas on the way home from work, tripped on the entrance of their small apartment and dropped their tree…decorations and all.

    "It was the Angel, I tell you, I saw it drinking on the trolley!"

    I'm sure my grandmother didn't appreciate my grandfather's dry sense of humor, just as much as my brother and I couldn't understand my father's excitement at finding a pair of socks, or a foil wrapped orange under their Christmas tree.

    Still.  We listened and it made my father miss them both, all the more.

    "Daddy's home and he's got our tree!"

    My father worked for a landscaper and for years sold Christmas trees, in the parking lot of a garden center, before being laid-off for the winter.

    "It's beautiful, Daddy!"

    If you were to ask me what Christmas gift I remember the most, thirty-something years ago, I would have answered the Barbie Country Camper.

    "Your grandmother would have loved such a tree."

    Today, it's stories of drunken Christmas Angels and lopsided tabletop trees that help make Christmastime special for me…and my family.

    Just like Dad.

    Other folks participating, today:

    Write on!

    [Click here to view past Writing Challenges]

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • I Saw Mommy Shake Down Santa Claus

    Liz & Garth [not his real name] Christmas '09

    My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I attended his company's holiday party, last weekend and — although, this is our 21st Christmas — it's been a long time since we've attended a company party, together.

    "Should we valet-it, tonight?"

    We had no choice (no self-parking allowed) seriously, the banquet center is in a real swanky part of the county (I could very nearly spit to Bon Jovi's and Springsteen's house) but, everyone was allowed to bring a guest.

    "I don't believe you've met my wife…"

    Actually, we both knew only a handful of folks and there were, like, over 200
    people there (no biggie, after BlogHer, I know) but, the atmosphere was that of 1 big happy family (mostly) and we ALL toasted my husband's upcoming 1st anniversary with The Kinder and Gentler Bank.

    "Would you like another glass of Pinot Grigio?"

    Did I mention, there was an open bar?

    "I'll have the Chateau Briand, thank you!"

    Needless to say, Garth [not his real name] and I were dressed to impress and enjoy ourselves (i.e. no sweatshirts, or hoodies allowed) as it was the 1st time that we've been out, together (sans children) in, like, weeks, months, um…what year is it, again?

    "BUUUUUUT, YOU PROMISED TO TAKE ME TO THE MALL!"

    Seriously, on a Saturday, at Christmas?

    "Yes, you did."

    I must have been high on Lysol, or something, but my husband also reminded me that, since our oldest was sleeping over someone else's house (about danged time, too) Heather kindly offered to sit the rest of our kids, for us.

    "You take her and I'll take the rest to Five Below, or something."

    Besides, it was Heather's turn for some private mommy time and, at 13, I'm just happy that she still, you know, admits that I am her mother, let alone agrees to be seen with me, in public.

    "You can take my car!"

    WHOOT!…[cue new car smell]…so, I kissed my husband (whispering, in his ear, something about looking forward to, well, you know, later) and we went our separate ways.

    "No…toll…paid…what does that mean, Mom?"

    [eyes go wide]

    "I dunno, I thought the E-ZPass Lane was open and…OH, FRIG!"

    Then, I remembered that I had my husband's car.

    "Daddy doesn't have E-ZPass?"

    Nope.  Aaaaand, I'd blown through 2 tolls, already, which cost my husband (does the math) $50.00 in tickets.

    "Aaaand, we haven't even gotten to the mall, yet!"

    So, I asked Heather to text her father what happened, hoping that it would give him enough time to, you know, get over it.

    Then, he texted back.

    "Well, at least, something's getting blown around here."

    No he didn't.  But, if you have kids, then you KNOW he was thinking it, right? 

    "I'll make it up to you."

    Did I mention that there was going to be an open bar?

    "It's not like I haven't heard that one, before."

    We really did have a wonderful time at the Christmas party and, as we helped our youngest children find their beds (or, which ever one happened to be the closest) Garth [not his real name] and I were still feeling, you know, toasty.

    "I can't sleep; can I go upstairs to Glen's bed?"

    [eyes go wide]

    "Orrrrrrr, did you guys wanna be alone?"

    [the sound of a romantic mood, exploding]

    This Christmas, I'm giving Garth [not his real name] the gift of hope.

    "Maybe we should just install an E-ZPass in OUR bed."

    Or, which ever one happens to be the closest, right?

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Writing Challenge #2: The Lunch Box – Hungary for Peanut Butter

    Write of passage

    This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging and brainchild of my friend, Mrs. Flinger.  Today’s challenge was to take 15 minutes and write about your elementary school lunch.

    ——————————————————————-

    It was 1946 and Hungary, as nearly all of Europe, was devastated by World War II, including the small hamlet where my mother attended kindergarten.   My mother's earliest childhood memory, one of a very few that she will even speak of, is the day the Americans shipped a case of peanut butter to her school.

    Each child was asked to line up and receive his, or her ration of peanut butter and then it was my mother's turn.

    "Eva, where is your bread?"

    My mother shyly whispered into her teacher's ear that she didn't have any; the local bakers ran out of their allotment of bread, earlier that morning.

    "Well, what am I supposed to spread the peanut butter on, the palm of your hand?"

    Growing up, we were used to hearing such stories at the dinner table — how, even in a big city like Budapest, my father was forced to steal to feed his younger siblings — still, I don't think that my twin brother and I ever really understood how difficult it was for my parents.

    Thinking back on it now, I seemed to have developed a sort of school daze and I can't seem to remember where, or even what we ate for lunch. 

    However, I can tell you this:  there was always plenty of peanut butter AND bread in our house.

    Mine, too.

    [Note:  A portion of this piece was originally written in 2008 for my Blogging Out Hunger post as a part of the We Can't Let This Bank Fail Campaign]

    Other participants writing, today:

    Write on!

    [Click here to view past Writing Challenges]

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • The Littlest Elf That Could, Fo’Shizzle!

    Christmas Foshizzle 2009

    Hope found her sister's infamous skull cap (you know, the one I wrote about, a few years ago, when my middle girl was going through, well, at the time, it seemed like something pretty major) and, as with most things in our house, time heals old parenting
    wounds and my husband, Garth [not his real name] and I just don't seem
    to sweat small-ish head gear, anymore.

    "Wait, let mommy take your picture!"

    You see,
    Hope is our youngest and, being 4th in an already long line waiting to get
    into the bathroom (my 16 year old has moved in, apparently) and, well, it's like we get a do-over, sort of.

    "You never let US sleepover anyone's house until we were, like, in middle school!"

    Yes, but I also pointed out the fact that Hope has never had her own room.  Okay, neither did Heather (consider yourself lucky, Holly) but, that's NOT the point.

    "When can I get a second hole, like Heather?"

    [eyes go wide]

    "I think wearing 2 earrings in the same ear looks cool!"

    Oh, phew, I thought she meant [remembers that Heather might be reading this, right now] never mind.

    "Maybe when you're 10."

    WHAT?

    I know, I know, but you don't live here (you're welcome!) or have to hear constant comparisons being made on just how terrible of a mother I am, was and forever shall be, no matter what I do, do you?

    "Did you hear what Hope did, today?"

    I came home from work, one night…um…this week (I think) and, though Garth [not his real name] has stepped up to the dinner plate, rather nicely (his home made chicken fingers taste way better than mine, DAMMIT) let's just say that, apparently, he was a tyrannical slave driver in a previous life and the kids are, you know, beginning to really miss me.

    [closes eyes and rubs left temple]

    "What now?"

    Long story short (you're welcome!) her father was looking through her backpack (seriously, the guy IS anal) when he saw an envelope marked "from the class mom" opened it and found it was filled with change.

    "$10.00, to be exact."

    Quarters, nickles, dimes and pennies, ALL stuffed into a smallish white envelope.

    "What, is she extorting money from the class mom, now?"

    Not exactly.

    "It's for the teacher's gift."

    Apparently, she's lived with me long enough to know that, you know, I sometimes don't remember to sit down and actually read the bazillion handouts, that come home, anymore (seriously, there are some freakishly anal people out there!) and she's absolutely right.

    "I'm almost exactly 8 and a half, now."

    Yeah, I know and it's making me feel a little sad.

    "I can take care of myself, you know."

    Okay, more than a little sad.

    "So, can I have an allowance?"

    I'm all torn up that my littlest elf can NOW reach all the way up to the top shelf.

    "NO WAY, WE DON'T EVEN GET AN ALLOWANCE!"

    Don't worry, I'll get over it.

    "Maybe when you're 10."

    But, probably not.

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • Writing Challenge #1: Character – Senior Moment

    Write of passage

    This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging and brainchild of my friend, Mrs. Flinger.  Today’s challenge was to find a person in public and write a story around them.

    ——————————————————————-

    "Where's your ticket?" the old woman croaked as she reached out her spotted hand and wiggled her boney fingers, filed razor-sharp and painted the color of congealed blood.

    I nudged the children behind me, cleared my throat and replied, "We were told that we could buy tickets at the door."

    Her thin lips quivered, as she let out a raspy sigh and replied, "Really?"  Her breath smelled heavily of stale cigarette smoke and, in my mind's eye, I pictured her as one of the flesh-eating trolls my grandmother warned would come after us in our sleep, whenever my twin brother and I refused to eat our vegetables. 

    She raised one penciled-eyebrow and licked her lips; imagining me as her next meal, no doubt.

    "Well, you were sadly misinformed."

    She pushed back from the reception table and I swear, she made a rattling sort of sound, as if she were chained to the chair.  I started to back away, surprised to see that the woman looked MUCH taller than I had imagined and came to the realization that I was indeed terribly wrong — the woman WAS a very old dragon, trapped in human form.

    "I'…uh…um…but…"

    I bit my lower lip, knowing that, somehow, this was going to end badly and I scanned the room for an emergency exit.

    "Do you have a ticket, or no?"

    No, and no craft show was worth being dressed down by a fiery old dragon, right? 

    "No, DAMMIT."

    The drab gray pashmina fell from her thin shoulders and revealed her long swan-like neck.

    "That's okay, Sweetie."

    She reached into a pouch which hung from a beautiful gold chain-linked belt that was wrapped around her tiny little waist.

    "There is no admittance fee."

    She pulled out 4 lollipops and handed them to each of my kids.

    "Uh…um…but…"

    Then, she handed me a bunch of tickets.

    "Also, everyone gets a free raffle ticket, today."

    I was going to protest — there had to be at least a dozen tickets, or more — but, I stared blankly at her warm smiling eyes and, well, I was ashamed to admit that the old woman wasn't a troll, or dragon at all.

    "Besides, I can tell that you're having a really bad day."

    She must be a mom.

    [Note:  Although, the conversation is a work of fiction, it is loosely based on an incident, IRL, that did indeed, go very badly.  It's all good, though.  She apologized.  I forgave her.  She WAS a mom.]

    Other participants writing, today:

    Write on!

    [Click here to view past Writing Challenges]

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • 25 Things You Did NOT Want to Know

    TMI My friend WeaselMomma (seriously, that's her name) blogged 25 Things You Didn't Want to Know and then dared me to, you know, participate in a little TMI and, well, since I am ALL about finding new ways to avoid the laundry, here you go:

    1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.  My twin brother, Steve (HAH!)

    2. Where was your first kiss?  Bobby Nelson kissed me In an abandoned building near my house (What?  I live in Jersey, YO!)

    3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property?  Does throwing eggs at the house where meanest man in the neighborhood lived, count?

    4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?  Yes, and the besterd deserved it!

    5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?  Yes, but a large number of people also sang as back up, at the time, so it's all good.

    6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex?  Eyes.  My husband, Garth [not his real name] for example, has the prettiest pair of smiling eyes I ever saw and they change from green to blue and sometimes even gray, depending on what he's wearing, so cool.

    7. What really turns you off?  Bullies (cyber and IRL)

    8. What do you order at Starbucks?  I'm a McCafe sort of girl, really.

    9. What is your biggest mistake?  Thinking that I can make everyone (and their Grandmother) happy.

    10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?  No.

    11. Say something totally random about yourself.  I can raise my right eyebrow (only) and do that, "Live long and prosper," Star Trek thing with my hands.

    12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?  Yes.  My husband thinks I look a lot like Mariska Hargitay (riiiiiiiight, we both have Hungarian dads…that's about it) and I get stopped by senior citizens at the grocery store, a lot, when I wear my "smart girl glasses," telling me that I look like Sarah Palin.  Also, just last night, when my son had two of his friends over playing Scene It and they ALL thought I looked like Demi Moore (in Ghost) aaaaand, if I don't shave my legs, Sasquatch!

    13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows?  Yes.  I still adore watching Disney movies and there's just something about Sponge Bob….bahahahahahahahahahaha.

    14. Did you have braces?  No.  Wish I did.  My oldest two are getting braces in March [shiver] so, I guess I will just have to live vicariously through their having straighter teeth, in a few years, or twenty.

    15. Are you comfortable with your height?  Yes and no.  Although, I've grown used to my 5' 10' frame, I find myself hunching over a lot and blame ALL you shorter people for, you know, my bad posture!

    16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you?  My husband makes me a fresh pot of coffee (or, caw-fee, if you're from Jersey) every morning, for the last twenty years.  What?  Caw-fee lovers will perhaps agree, that this is TOTALLY sex-see!!!

    17. When do you know it’s love?  When he/she makes you coffee, in the morning.

    18. Do you speak any other languages?  I can speak, read and write Hungarian; some Spanish; know lots of curse words, in many others.

    19. Have you ever been to tanning salon?  No.

    20. Have you ever ridden in a limo?  Yes.

    21. What’s something that really annoys you?  Driving in friggin' Jersey, 'nuf said!

    22. What’s something you really like?  Christmas music (sorry, Melisa!)

    23. Can you dance?  At cocktail hour, most anyone can!  Can I dance well is another question and, well, I think I've already answered THAT one.

    24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?  Unfortunately, yes.  Friends and family will agree, I am perhaps the clumsiest person on the planet!

    25. Tag 5 people!  Okay [slapping you on the back] TAG, YOU'RE IT!

    Because, I'm not very good at following rules (I get that from my Hungarian grandmother) feel free to leave a comment, answering any one of these questions, and, well, we'll call it even, okay?

    Have a great weekend!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

  • All I Want for Christmas

     

    In case you're wondering whatever happened to Monday Mornings the Doofus-Dawg

    He's lost in a pile of laundry. 

    Aaaaanway, I was supposed to start my "real job" today (YAY!) but. they offered to give me an increase to 4 hours, 3 times per week and I took it (more milk money, double-YAY!) but, I don't start until next week (BOO!) and I've got somethin' else to show you.

    [grin]

    So, feel free to grab a cup of cawfee, or whatever, I'll wait!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.