Tag: apples

  • Monday Morning With Doofus-Dawg: Ah Ate an Apple and Ah Liked It!

    Doofus-in-the-Dawg-House 

    D'oh, good mornin'…welcome to the dawg house.

    Mah mom is not heres, right now and…d'oh…excuse me a minute, puh-leeze.

    BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF!

    D'oh, sorry 'bout that.  Ah hates some peoples, sometimes.  Don't yous?  Anyways.
     Mah mom is not heres, I think and…um…d'oh yeah…ah remembers now.

    [heavy sigh]

    Er…rum…ah…nuh…ah's in troubles, again.

    [blank stare]

    D'oh, yeah, ah remembers, now…ah tried to eat the garbage man…d'oh…that's naught right, either…'cause, everybody knows peoples tastes funny.

    SNORT!

    D'oh, ah tried to eat the garbage, again…[sneeze]…but, mah mom made it so ah can'ts git to it, anymores.

    AH-WHOO!

    Stupid child locks — ifs ah only had thumbs.

    SNORT!

    D'oh…aaaaaanyways…so, when theys wuz out visitin' with Mama and Papa, yesterdays…uh…ah think it was yesterdays…d'oh…aaaaaanyhow…ah was mad theys left me home…all alones…with the stupid catz…AGAIN!.

    BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF

    Catz are mean, for realz!

    [heavy sigh]

    Sooooo, ah ate one of them thar apples mom keeps on the dinin' room tables and, you knows, ahs liked it!

    AH-WHOO!

    For realz.  Theys call it granny fanny…do'h, that's naught right, either…wil smith, maybe…d'oh, ah know…it wuz one of them thar granny smiths and ah like it, lots!

    [burp]

    Excuse me, puh-leeze.

    [pfff-ffft]

    D'oh, sorry 'bout that.  Ah hates it when apples do that.  Don't yous?

    SNIFF-SNIFF-SCRATCH-SCRATCH!

    Mah mom asked me tell somebody called Marvin…d'oh…that's naught right, either…d'oh, I remember now.

    [blank stare]

    Carmen…YAH-YAH!…mah mom made a cake…wif apples in it…and said yous wanted some…'cawse yous gots lots of apples at yous house, too…do'h, but ah can'ts come over…right now.

    BARK-BARK-WOOF-BARKITY-WOOF-WOOF

    Ah gots to keep the stupid peoples away from mah house…d'oh…but, mah mom said you's can haz her peas…do'oh…that's naught right, either…hers said yous can make mom's apple spice cake…and eats it, too!

    Here yous goes:

    (more…)