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Mommy’s Little Eye Candy: Cash Cab in the City

Welcome to Mommy's Little Eye Candy – a series of photos and blog posts tailor-made specifically for frazzled-out and frustrated moms, you know, like me!

You know, a Monday morning pick me up (or, mommyporn, if you will) only a whole lot cleaner and totally calorie-free!

In fact, I'm hoping that Mommy's Little Eye Candy will help make you (yes, YOU!) LOVE Mondays, again…yeah, that's right…or, help you forget the worry and stress you feel about the rest of the week.
For a little while, at least, and in the spirit of good clean fun, right?

[big toothy grin]

So, who's it gonna be this week?

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August 31, 2009
Times When Butt Jokes ARE More Than Appropriate

It's no secret, raising teens is NOT easy. Blogging about them, regardless of the fact that it may be under extremely difficult situations and then focusing all of your energies in the most positive way, is even harder.

All of the sudden, in a blink of an eye, our lives have become less about poopie diapers and laundry and whether the Doodle Bops are evil (although, I do happen to agree with Lindsay on that one) or, if fart noises and butt jokes are appropriate at the dinner table.

Because, I'm here to tell you that, YES, not only has what was once deemed bad behavior (in our house, anyway) become status quo (join 'em, if you can't beat 'em, I say) it keeps us from killing each other — sometimes, I even let my teens curse, a little.

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August 28, 2009
Hump Day Diddy Dumbs: Wish You Were Here!

Greetings from Minneapolis!

Sometimes, you just gotta say, "Hey, you know what, I bet it would be fun to jump into the hot tub with our clothes on, right?" Sure, it's all fun and games, until someone's iPhone gets hurt.

[moment of silence]

Death by hot tub.

R.I.P. Dawn's iPhone!

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

August 27, 2009
19 Years of Marriage and She’s STILL Got Nothin’

"While any couple that reaches their 16th, 17th, 18th, or 19th wedding anniversary certainly has an occasion worth celebrating, there are no traditional gifts associated with those anniversary years…About.com"

I used to think my MIL was nuts (sorry mom, but wait, it gets better) especially, around holiday time, or whenever a member of the Thompson Clan reaches some sort of milestone, that typically requires some form of congratulatory gift-giving.

"Would you mind buying your father a card, for me."

What?

"I didn't have time to run out and buy a gift."

Seriously? After 50-something years (I forget) not even a simple little card? How weird, right?

So, I thought.

"What's this for?"

My parents were over the other day (because, they went to Costco, again, and have been keeping us in breakfast cereal, laundry detergent and diet soda, for years, now) and handed me an envelope, along with a half-a-dozen sponges, because you can NEVER have enough sponges, right?

"Happy Anniversary!"

[blank stare]

"It's this Tuesday."

I knew that, sort of.

"How many years is it, now?"

I really can't blame my poor husband, Garth [not his real name] for questioning my ability to remember.

"19, so there!"

Never mind the fact it helps to have been married on an even year and the start of a new decade (I am not stupid, much) makes the math SO MUCH easier!

"Yeah, but she didn't remember why I sent flowers, last month."

Right. Not at first. I mean, seriously…ladies in the house…wouldn't you be like, "Whoa?" when it's clearly not your birthday, anniversary and you're not pregnant [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed] but, this guy is…like…standing at your door with a big bunch of flowers?!?

"Someone loves you, very much!"

Yeah, I tipped the flower dude, but who's sending me flowers?

"19 years ago, love began in earnest…"

Okay, it was signed Garth [not his real name] but, we got married on August 25th (I remember, because we got pictures to prove it and everything) and, well, I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant.

[Edited to add: Darn sure, since I have my period, right now, you're welcome, Mom!]

"OUR FIRST DATE!!!"

I'm sure I made my husband a little deaf, screaming into the phone, as if I were answering the bonus round of [enter your favorite game show, here] or, something.

"Did she mention, she nearly bit my head off, yesterday?"

When did I turn into everyone's whipping child? I think it was around our 15th anniversary, or something.

"Yes, but she admitted that she was wrong."

I love my mother. Really, I do. Yet, she insists on saying and doing stuff — like, buying my kids food, clothes and investing in Hallmark greeting cards — just to make me cry.

"Yeah, it was wr…wr…[deep breath]…totally not right of me."

Seriously, 16, 17, 18…it really doesn't matter…after a while, the years start to blend, anyway.

4 kids, 2 cats and 1 sock-eating doofus-dog later, my life has become this mosaic of undefinable moments of comfort, knowing that there are those times, when I feel lucky just to be able to get out of bed.

"Aaaand, I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!"

Or, be able to make a simple peace offering, like a hot cup of coffee, or peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which, in turn, is met with equal (albeit, unspoken) gratitude.

"So, Happy Anniversary!"

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

[heavy sigh]

As for tomorrow, I got nothin'!

[blank stare]

Please, don't judge me (forgive me, mom) it's a comfort to me now, knowing that at least my MIL will understand.

"Yeah, at this point, it would be too expensive to replace her!"

Besides, Garth [not his real name] makes me feel like I know stuff — like, how I make a pretty mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

If that's not love, I don't know what is…Happy [enter corresponding year, here] Anniversary to us!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

August 24, 2009
PBN Blog Blast: Love Means Never Having to Pay Full Price

The Parent Bloggers Network has teamed up with the folks at Capital One to
get the word out about how parents (like me) are talking to kids about budgeting and finances.

Or, not.

Capital One and national consumer advocacy
group Consumer Action sponsor the
Moneywi$e eLearning tool, which includes a section all about talking to kids about money.

[cringe]

Or, not — because, my parents never "talked" to me about financial responsibility and I turned out okay, sort of.

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August 21, 2009
Nearly Wordless Wednesday: More Than a Feeling

I canNOT believe that summer is almost over. Can you? I mean, I haven’t even unloaded their backpacks from June, yet. Still, the kids and I can’t help but feel a little sorry to say goodbye to the Summer of 2009.

So, I put together this little movie — you know, for those who will, no doubt, by December, insist they were absolutely B.O.R.E.D the entire summer — so, hopefully, it will help them ALL remember the really good times, too.

This Full House Summer 2009 from Liz Thompson on Vimeo.

[bites lower lip]

Okay, me too.

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you’re it: Wordless Wednesday

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

August 19, 2009
She’s Got the POW-WAH!

She may be small and she may only be 8 (although,the girl's got a mouth like a 13 year old, or what-evuh, Mom) but, I was once told by a psychic that my youngest daughter has "a very old soul."

What? She body-slammed me in the mall for a "quick reading" (the psychic, I mean, not Hopey) and well, it was for free, you know?

"You'll find what you're looking for when you don't need it, anymore."

Story of my life, really and it didn't take a psychic to convince me that my friend Melisa (with one S) was right, when she called, all the way from Chicago (because, blogging friends do that, for each other, sometimes) and helped me look for the season pass I lost, last week (no, she's not psychic, at least, I don't think she is, what-evuh) because, she found what she was looking for, right after seeing my post on Twitter and Facebook (because, I have no life) weird, right?

I mean, Melisa (with one S) finding her stuff, RIGHT AFTER reading my Facebook page…

[sound of crickets chirping]

Aaaanyway, I never did find the pass (DAMMIT!) but, had no trouble getting a replacement (thank you, Great Adventure!) so, I dropped my two oldest at the park and took my two youngest to a nearby mall – just in case it rained, or something, since there were storms in the area.

I may be a dork, but I'm not stupid, much.

"Oh look, Mommy needs a new phone!"

I stopped by the T-Mobile kiosk (because, I'm thinking about breaking up with Verizon) and was about to ask about their family plans, since we need to be adding another kid, or two, soon, damnit.

"Don't touch the phones, baby."

Too late.

HUMMMMM…POW…ZAP!

Hope poked one of the touch phones and ALL the lights went out in the ENTIRE mall!

"OMG, what did you do?!?"

If only I had taken a picture of Hope's face, right at that moment (another reason why I'm probably going to h-e-double hockey sticks, btw) because, I canNOT even begin to describe the absolute look of terror, you know, thinking that she broke the mall.

"Well, touch it again and maybe the lights will come back on!"

The T-Mobile dude was sweet and, if you were to ask me, was sort of cute, too.

"Can I, Mom?"

I maybe a dork, but I'm not raising stupid kids, much.

"Sure, why not?"

Aaaand, on the 50th day of summer vacation, Hope brought power back into the Freehold Mall and saw that the light was good.

"I've got the POW-WAH!"

I maybe a dork, but I'm a little scared that the girl is a bit paranormal, too.

[phone rings]

"They closed the park, can you come pick us up?"

Aaaand, it seems to run in the family.

[cue eerie music]

Stupid psychics!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

August 17, 2009
Picture Perfect Thursday: Lost and Found

I

If you could read my mind, what a mess my thoughts would make…

In an effort to get back to my blogging roots (i.e., stuff I used to like to write about, but somehow got lost, in all the conversations about marketing and paid trips to Disney World, just kidding, I haven't been to Disney World, since my senior class trip, anyway, way back in, well, never mind) I hereby claim this to be another Picture Perfect Thursday and take a moment to share with you another one of my less than perfect moments, in an effort to make you (yes, YOU!) feel a little better, about the stuff you're doing (or not) and FINALLY put an end to perhaps the longest sentence in blogging history.

You're welcome!

Long story, short (I know, too late) Heather and Holly purchased season passes for Great Adventure with their babysitting money (who knew, watching other people's kids paid so well?) and I was in charge of, you know, putting them in a real safe place.

BIG MISTAKE!

Here it is, 3 weeks before school starts and, well, Heather went once (end of year class trip) but, Holly STILL hasn't gone, so I promised to drop them off, yesterday.

"Do you have my season's pass, Momma?"

[blank stare]

Lost – one season's pass to Six Flags Great Adventure.

Found – a box of crap that should have been filed a loooong while ago and…oh…so THAT'S where Twilight and that set of bungie cords went!!!

Found – girl scout badges (actually, they call 'em Try-its now) and registration forms I should have sewn/submitted last June, damnit!

Found – my missing Sharpie pens ALL the kids swore that they, you know, didn't take from my desk!

Found – two ear buds-a-mating.

Found – my Ver-see-chi eyeglass case and NO my eyeglasses weren't in them, because that would make sense, der!

Found – one lone flip flop, whose mate gave up any chance of ever finding him and left with the garbage man, months ago…sorry, dude!

Found – my Mother's Day presents from…um…one, or two of the kids, I think.

Found – the closet under the stairs hides a lot MORE crap, than I thought.

Lost Forever and Ever, Amen – never did find Heather's season pass, which cost me a $15.00 parking fee (as opposed to dropping the girls off in the shuttle bus lot) and a $21.00 replacement fee, for a new pass, which they will probably not use (if I'm left in charge) again, to boot.

What Kids Learned: Do NOT give ANYTHING of importance, or requires an admittance and/or service fee, if not used, or lost, to your mother.

What Mom Learned: It freakin' rained, all day yesterday, so they closed the park, I had to go back and get the girls, who, after 3 hours of waiting on lines, never did get to ride anything, anyway.

What This Means to You: Absolutely, nothing. It's how WE roll, DAMNIT!

You're welcome!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

August 13, 2009
Mommy’s Little Eye Candy: Trauma Never Looked So Good!

Welcome to Mommy's Little Eye Candy – a weekly series of photos and blog posts tailor-made specifically for frazzled-out and frustrated moms, you know, like me!

Mommyporn, if you will, only a whole lot cleaner and totally calorie-free!

In fact, I'm hoping that Mommy's Little Eye Candy will help make you (yes, YOU!) LOVE Mondays, again…yeah, that's right…or, help you forget the worry and stress you feel about the rest of the week.

For a little while, at least, and in the spirit of good clean fun, right?

[big toothy grin]

So, who's it gonna be this week?

(more…)

August 10, 2009
I Think My Kids Are Getting a Little Tired of Summer, or Just Turning Amish, I Really Think So!

Looks sort of like a lineup, to get into the Breakfast Club, right? RIP, John Hughs!

My husband's Aunt Ann passed away last week (cancer sucks, btw) and, although the Leavitts aren't really related to the Thompsons — I'd venture to guess it's why my husbands family got along so well with their family — Ann and Pres were at our wedding, they both got a chance to meet 2 out of 4 of our kids (in person) and we've been exchanging Christmas cards…GULP…for almost 20 years, now.

It's been Aunt Ann and Uncle Pres, ever since.

So, we decided to attend her memorial service last weekend, as she was perhaps the kindest, funniest and most bravest woman I know (battling cancer for 10 years, sucks wet poodle!) and, well, nothing says, "Hey kids, it's time for another fun-filled family vacation," like a death in the family, right?

Riiiight.

Aaaaand, where did we take them?

To see LOTS OF DEAD PEOPLE, of course!

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August 6, 2009