Before my claustrophobia and nyctophobia set it or the terribly weak walls of my bladder, you know, gave out — you're welcome!
Linky Love Bytes: Wordless Wednesday HQ
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
Garth (not his real name) and I have been planning to paint our house for a long while, however, like most of our DIY projects (see also: all of them), preparing for one thing…leads to eleven more unplanned projects…which need to be addressed, first…before we can even begin thinking about starting on…ummmmm…wait, what WERE we talking about, again?
[blows bangs out of eyes, looks down at hands, picks at chipped fingernail polish]
OH YEAH! Painting the house. Right. So, it doesn't help that one of us is more of a…let's just sit back and wait…perhaps think about this a little more, rationally…type person. While the other one of us is all…ohhhhhhhh, let's just throw caution to the wind and get'r done, already…DAMMIT!!!
Guess which one of us is which. Go ahead. I'll wait.
[taps foot, counts one Mississippi, two Mississippi]
IT'S ME!!! I am so NOT a good sit back and just wait-er.
Loooong…boooooring…even more convoluted than usual…story short…we're to the point where we HAVE to paint the house and, well, Garth (not his real name) had some scheduled time off, last week…sooooo, PERFECT TIMING!!!…besides, we've been prepping for this moment for a very looooong…well…hang on…let me show you.
We were leaning towards the second color from the left. Some sort of Sante Fe terra cotta, I think. Then our parents got sick. My parents moved. Brother gets married, invites all 6 of us to be in the wedding party. And then "Maybe next year" turned into "Meh…the house doesn't look THAT bad, right?!?"
Actually, you can't see the color, not anymore. It was a lovely barn red, but my husband HATED IT and covered it with our newest selections.
5 years later…I have to agree with him…ICK!!! So, he sent me to Home Depot with the following instructions: pick 3 of your favorite colors (see pic above the blood red) and then we'll just eenie-meenie-minee-moe-it!
After a week of prepping the house for painting…for real…Garth (not his real name) completed the garage-side of the house, thinking we could let it set overnight and THEN decide if we really, really like it.
Aaaaand, then it rained…and rained…and I'm all like…MOTHEREFFER!!!…meh, I've waited THIS long, what's another couple of days…or twenty more…right?!? RIGHT?!?
[sound of crickets, chirping]
One could ONLY dream. Besides, at this rate, we could simply continue testing color combinations and have the house painted in…[does the math]…another 30 years…give or take a high school graduation…yo!
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
I love it, whenever I get the chance to introduce folks to a few of my favorite things, here in Jersey — sharing them with the ones I love most…priceless.
Sunset Beach — Cape May, NJ
Thanks so much for indulging this Jersey Girl and sharing in some spectacular seaside moments, Melisa. And good job, sun.
Linky Love Bytes: Wordless Wednesday HQ
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
As a child, I remember reading about the Declaration of Independence in history class and quietly smiling to myself, thinking…THIS!…this is why my family is here.
"Mom, I want to enlist into the military."
But I cannot think of too many words, other than those my 15 year-old son has been saying, since he was 4 years-old, that can simultaneously fill my heart with joy AND feel as if someone or something is trying to dig its way out of my chest, one spoonful at at a time.
"I spoke with an Army recruiter during Career Day."
And yet, in the last few months, I have heard very little else.
"I told them I want to be an Army Engineer."
My heart is about ready to burst both with pride and dread, all over my face.
Here's the thing, encouraging my 4 year-old that…YES!…Army dudes are indeed awesome, is easy — especially, since he idolizes his grandfather (my dad immigrated to the U.S. in 1956) and his favorite super hero happens to be my brother, Uncle Bud the Army dude.
"And I told them that I plan on joining ROTC, next year."
Keeping every deep, dark and terribly awful fear imagineable from creeping out of my heart and slithering its way up onto my face, not so much.
"I'd like to visit West Point, can we go?"
So, my husband and I took a road trip, with just our son.
The weather was absolutely gorgeous, perfect fall day with temperatures in the 60's (my favorite!), but it was also a bittersweet day; for Garth (not his real name) and me, I mean.
This post has been in my head for a very long time. It's still very hard to put the words together, because this is not about politics (I'm not that smart) and I'm not looking for a philosophical debate on history or religion (I'm not that clever, or awake, probably).
I'm just a mom, who loves her child(ren) with every ounce of her being, who's trying…really, really hard…to raise my kids to be…well…MUCH smarter, than me.
Now that they're grown (mostly) and can pretty much think for themselves (see previous parenthesis), I can tell you EXACTLY what the hardest part of raising teenagers is: trying NOT to feel as if you're losing control of…well…every thing.
It's hard sometimes, you know? Pretending to be fearless. Especially for someone who wears her heart on her sleeve…[raises hand]…not without leaving a permanent dent on my face, I mean.
I'm not going to lie, I'm proud AND scared as hell, you guys.
BUT! I'm going to continue to try really, really hard to stay strong; even though I know, that my kids know, I'm about a backstroke away from drowning in my own feelings.
"Thanks for bringing me, this was a good day."
Because, in my head, I can't help but see him as that same little towheaded 4 year-old…running around…always with the running…wearing his favorite Power Rangers sneakers, pretending to be a super hero…like his Uncle Bud.
Upside of raising teens: when they grow independent enough to cook for themselves and start making you fried Oreos and stuff…yo!
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
Blogging is hard! Blogging while under the influence of children is even harder! Blogging with teenagers living in your house? Okay, picture this: it's sort of like attempting to recite the Pledge of Allegiance…backwards…while riding a bicycle…naked…uphill…in the snow…with two flat tires and a missing seat.
It's daaaaaanged near impossible to blog, especially these days. Not without exposing myself to some serious hurt, I mean.
[rubs backside, reaches for Ibuprofen]
And yet, here we are — just you, and me, and this here broken bicycle. RELAX, I am wearing clothes. As far as you know, anyways.
[double-cringe]
Aaaaanyway, so don't get me wrong. Yeah, I've been blogging for 11 years. And no, I do NOT consider myself an expert — of anything other than the insanely awesome super power of leaping over tall piles of laundry and having be given the ability to listen to multiple conversations, happening at the same time, I mean — although, the folks who've been coming to my blog recently, seem to think I'm some sort of knowledgeable.
Not these guys, tho.
Aaaanyway, here are some of the answers to the keywords that brought some of you here, because I'm helpful like that:
Absent letter for school for waking up late: Please excuse [enter child's name, here] for being absent from school on [enter date of absence]. You see, my office won the lottery drawing last night, however, [enter child's name, here] accidentally used the tickets to line a diorama for his/her math project, to help illustrate how the odds are NEVER in our favor, and we were up ALL night trying to break into the school to retrieve said diorama, because no one EVER wants to make their co-workers hangry, especially first thing in the morning.
So, thank you for your kind attention and would you please let his/her math teacher know that [enter child's name, here]'s project is now going to be a little late, too.
Oh, and that we left a check in his/her desk to cover the damages to the classroom window, as a result of our hasty escape. Yours very truly, etc…
Or something like that, I'm easy.
Boardwalk with stores and carnival games:
[cracks knuckles, blows bangs out of eyes]
Well, let's see, there's Keansburg – which is about a 15-30 minute drive, from our house, depending on traffic.
Point Pleasant is 30-90 minute drive, etc…
Seaside Heights is about 45-180 minutes, off-season. Summertime? Fuhghetaboutit!
Wildwood – you best plan for an entire week, getting there and back, just to be safe.
They were all hit HARD by the bitchstorm, Hurricane Sandy – 2 years later and we're still re-building — but now they are ALL back in business, because it's how we roll, here in Jersey…YO!!!…so c'mon ova, the beaches are free from now until Memorial Day, we can split the toll money!
Down the shore diaper story: Believe it or not, I've got one for ya' — it was my very first blog post, from September 2, 2003 — ohhhhh, and a very Happy Belated Blogiversary to meeeeeee!!!!
Eating right kids: Yeah, I seem to eat all the wrong kids too, whassup wit-dat?
Gross Halloween games for kids: Refer to above.
Middle school halloween party games: Wow, you're going to need A LOT of antacids, my friend.
Teen feets: This one is REAL simple, THEY STINKS!
Why everyone is in such rush: Because, raising teens and riding bicycles uphill…in the snow, naked…is hard…YO!
That last nugget of parental brilliance should bring all sorts of search engines to the table, right?!? RIGHT?!?
[sound of crickets, chirping]
I'm throwing in Facebook stickers, FTW! Because I'm tech-savvy, like dat!
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
I don't know what happened, really. I wasn't always such a worry wart. In fact, folks who knew me back in the day (you know, when social media was just a twinkle in Compaq's iframe and we actually face-timed each other, for real) would probably agree — I was pretty loosey-goosey about stuff.
Siiiiiigh. That's right. Loosey-goosey. Look it up, youngsters. Aaaanyway, where was I?!? Loosey-goosey. Face-time. Social media. Back in the day. Oh yeah, I remember now — soooooo, then I started having kids and…HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!…another worry wart is born.
Yep, raising kids has consistently proven to be quite worrisome — teenagers, on the other hand, have issues…ISSUES!!!…like in major energy-sucking, hair-raising, skin-crawley, makes your brain itch-type of issues…and social media isn't helping any.
As a parent of 4 teens…fine, so the oldest is in her 20's, I'm in denial, a'ight?!?…I still don't have the "right" answers, but I can tell you that it's been a long, slow and drawn-out process…worry wartdom, is…here, let me show you:
Oh sure, I totally remember the baby daze…when I was all like…ohhhhhh….mah baybeeeez…they are soooo cute…and cuddley…GAH!!!…wook at doze baybeeee toes…nom, nom, nom…[sniff-sniff]…and doz brand new baybee smellz…DUH BEST!!!
Ohhhhh…ummmmm…okay…wow!…what IS that smell…GAH!!!…this sh*t just got REAL, you guys…and WHOA!!!…can you say "snot factory"?!?…ohhhhh…WOW!!!….who knew stuff could come out of ALL the things…THAT FAST…and at that same time, too?!?…IS THAT EVEN NORMAL?!?…daaaaaang, I don't feel so good…because, PROJECTILE VOMITTING!!!
Okay, so which one of yuhs forgot to flush?!?…WOW!!!…and what in the world did YOU eat…IS THAT EVEN NORMAL?!?…wait, what?!?…oh, okay…sooooo, you ate ALL the Play Doh…EVERYBODY IN THE CAR, we're going to the doctor, RIGHT NOW!!!…holy crap on a cracker, what do you mean they ALL have strep throat, too…UGH!!!…ohhhhhh, wait a minute…now I'm really not feeling so great.
Wait…soooo, let me get this straight…you're NOT allowed to wear sneakers and the girls are not allowed to wear anything shiny for the play…so you NEED black dress shoes and the girls NEED long-sleeved, blouses…in warm Etruscan red tones…ONLY!!!…right, okay…soooooo, when IS this play…what do you mean, TUH-DAY?!?
Soooooo, what time IS this party, anyway?!?…aaaaand, who's all going?!?…and where IS the party, again?!?…ohhhhh, it's a sleepover…AND hey YOU'RE driving…soooooo, I shouldn't worry…okay, riiiiiiiiiiiight…let me get the door for you…whoopsies…wow, who knew front doors could break AND stay locked, so easy…oh, soooo I see you've used the window before…RIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!
So, you want to go to this concert…aaaaand the concert is 3 states away…but your friend just got his permit and he's going to drive yuhs there…if I let you borrow the car…okay, sooooo….no…um, no…that would ALSO be a no…and, wait, let me think about it a little…ummmmm…OH HELL NO!!!!…yeah, I know you do…BUT I LOVE YOU, BABY!
Long story short: I didn't always look like this, my teenagers MADE me this way! Aaaaand, for those of you with younger children, feel free to consider this to be a cautionary tale:
Don't worry so much about the teenage years, you WILL survive. Maybe not in one piece. And definitely less easy-breezy about stuff. But, you ARE also in very good company!
Okay, now somebody remind me…m'kay?!?
[sound of crickets, chirping]
You like my new hat? You can't EVEN see the wart, RIGHT?!?
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
Living with 2 teens and 3 other adults (who have opinions AND are NOT afraid to use them), it's not very often that we all agree on…well…anything, really. Unless, we're talking Zombies. And if you're into Zombies? Well, then for the love of all things George Romero, feel free to clean off a chair and sit down, my friend…because there is always room for one more walker!
Because, 13 MORE SLEEPS UNTIL THE WALKING DEAD!!! YAY!!! We are ALL big fans of The Walking Dead ova here, and have been following along since Season 1, but last season — what, with all the"What IS this Terminus" or "What's with the flowers?!?" and "OMG, LIZZIE?!?"– nearly killed me!!!
Here's the thing: I just get way too involved in the story line (because, there is lots and lots of drama in Zombieland) and they would've left me behind for Zombie food not even halfway through Episode 1.
"OMG!!! NOOOOOO, RUN…QUICK…THROUGH THE FRIGGIN' GREEN DOOR…ON YOUR LEFT…NOOOOOO, YOUR OTHER LEFT!!!"
[opens green door]
"GAAAAAH!!!!"
Who knew? Eleventy-billion zombies…OMG!!! RIGHT THERE!!!…dripping with oozey-Zombie flesh…waiting for my sorry ass…right behind the friggin' green door.
"Mom, could you NOT?!?"
Yep, I'd be the one my kids smack in the leg with a baseball bat and leave behind as Zombie bait.
[eyes go WIDE]
Aaaaaaand, then it hit me…like a baseball bat to the leg…I could easily be mistaken for a Zombie, because:
Hah! So, when the Zombie Apocolypse arrives…because, OH YES, it is coming…all I have to do is pretend like I'm one of them and…CHAAAAAAAW…CO…LUT!!!…no Zombie food for you, skin suckuhs…NOT TODAY!
"Until someone throat-punches you and you pass out at the sight of your own blood."
[blink, blink, blink]
Long story, short: because, watching television with teens is hard.
"Ooooooh, there's my pretend boyfriend, he looks REAL YUMMY!!!"
[cringe]
"Ewwwwww, that's just ALL SORTS OF GROSS, Mom!!!!"
Moral of the Story: because, watching television with teens can be REAL FUN, too…YO!!!
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
Being a mom is hard. Being a mom of teens is…uhhhhhhhh…excuse me for a moment…HEY! DID I NOT JUST SAY THE DISHWASHER IS DIRTY?!? GET YOUR PLATES OUT OF THE SINK, DAMMIT!!!…ummmmmm….what were we talking about, again?!?
[takes another sip of coffee, blows bangs out of eyes, plays with chin hair]
Oh yeah, NOW I REMEMBER! So, I was thinking. Dangerous, for a dork like me, I know. Still. I've been reading lots of blog posts and articles online about what we should or shouldn't be saying to a pregnant woman…EVUH!!!…because, DUH!!!! She's probably NOT in the mood for silly shenanigans, like asking her if it was a planned pregnancy.
Well, it's actually…NONE OF YOUR FRIGGIN' BUSINESS!!!!…but thanks for asking.
That being said, I think it's also equally important to realize that saying one or more of the following, to a peri-menopausal woman, may or may not get you some serious hurt:
1. Daaaaang, it's cold in here
Shuddup and turn down the thermostat, would ya'?
2. Why are you so moody?
Ohhhhhh, other than my uterus feeling like it's on fire and attempting to strangle the rest of my internal organs, AND IT'S HOT IN HERE, no reason, really.
3. Meh, sounds a lot like PMS.
Yes, now with EXTRA BLOAT and saggy-boob sweat…HUZZAH!
4. Relax, you're just being overly-sensitive.
Oh, my gosh, I'm soooooo sorry…here, you better put some ice on that and don't worry…the swelling should go down in a couple of days, mostly.
5. All you need to do is change your diet and exercise.
Good idea, I'll go get MORE ICE!
6. Sorry, we're all out of cherry limeade.
Oh okay, and here's my mailing address, just bill me for the damages.
7. You look too young to be going through menopause.
[blank stare]
8. I'm so sorry, but we don't carry that particular shoe in wide.
Right…soooooo…do you know of anyone else who stocks YETI?!?!
9. The bathrooms are for employees, only.
WE NEED A MOP ON AISLE 6, PLEASE!
10. Let's go bathing suit shopping!
We're gonna need a bigger mop, AND MORE ICE!!!
11. Let's go jeans shopping!
See number 10.
12. Maybe you just need a nap.
YES!!! And turn down the thermostat on your way…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
13. Do you remember where you put…
No, is the air-conditioner even working?
14. Do you remember where I put my…
NO!!!! WHY IS IT SO FRIGGIN' HOT IN HERE?!?!
15. At least you don't have to worry about getting pregnant.
Two words: vaginal atrophy.
You're welcome.
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
Linky Love Bytes: Wordless Wednesday HQ
©2003 -2014 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook, a way for you to subscribe to receive This Full House blog post by Email and everything!
I’m very proud to partner with the good folks at Sauder, a manufacturer of affordable furniture you assemble yourself, and participate in the Sauder challenge: to share our experience(s) with Sauder and, hopefully, inspire other families (like mine) who have very little extra and literally, no room, or time to spare.
I’ve been writing online for 11 years — my first blog post went live on September 2, 2003 — which is like forever ago, in the evolution of the blogging community. Today, I enjoy working to help others find online publishing opportunities and, hopefully, help further their blogging endeavors, as well.
I also telecommute from home. Which, with 6 people living in our 7 room house, is no easy feat (especially, during the summertime, when the kids are ALL home and probably bored) trust me!
So, I’ve claimed a small area in the play room/laundry room/den and it’s worked out pretty well — my teens sharing an old folding table, because the legs on the old kitchen table we re-purposed as a desk finally broke, not so much.