Blog

  • Did I Ever Tell You About the Spider Eggs in Our Wallpaper?

    I finally caught up with Melisa, today — she's having a tough week — although, she'll tell you everything is okay, no really; she's fine.

    Still, girl could use a virtual hug.  G'head, I'll wait.

    Not for nothing, but having 3 out of 4 of my kids having attended, entering and/or graduating high school, this year (the boy is a freshman, our middle girl is a senior) I feel it safe to say that…YUP!!!…sending off "your youngest kid" to college is a really BIG deal!!!

    Personally, I hate to think what it will be like for Hope, when she's ready to fly the nest, with me still hanging onto her ankles and everything, just saying.

    Aaaaanyway, to help lighten things up a bit, I started telling Melisa this story, but she was running late (okay, fiiiiiiiiine, she said she was running late and I believe her…dammit!) and I was all like…that's okay, never mind…maybe I'll just blog it then.

    Why?  For two reasons: 1) as a cautionary tale and 2) for informational purposes, of the sort of crud that goes on…behind closed walls…especially, when you're not looking.

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  • Our silly little Loopy Krispies Treat vlog or reason #2,934 why you probably won’t see me on the Food Network, anytime soon!

    Loopy Krispies Treat

    Disclosure: As a Champion of #GreatStarts blogger, I am honored to partner with Kellogg’s in helping families (like mine) achieve great starts to their days. I am being compensated for my services for the length of the program.

    The kids and I are having a slow week up here on Cape Cod — apparently, I am way too much fun for my teens to handle (shuddup!) they’ve been sleeping in since Sunday — so I was very happy when our friend Sue invited us to her house for dinner, last night.

    “Sounds great, we’ll bring dessert!”

    We’re headed home on Friday, so I’m trying to (very, very slowly) clean out our vacation pantry.

    “Ummmmmmmmm, who ate the last box of brownies?!?”

    After vacationing a week and a half on the Cape, with 3 teens and a 12 year-old (same thing, really), the kids are doing a pretty good job of cleaning us out of food.

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  • I Blog, Facebook & Instagram: Therefore, I Remember

    Cape Cod 2013 for Facebook

    I left for BlogHer13 on July 24th and I haven't been home, since.

    Okay, so I was home for a whole entire day and a half, before leaving for our first family summer vacation in, well, forever, giving myself enough time to:

    • unload my suitcases
    • wash clothes
    • drop Doofus-Dawg off at his country canine cousins' house
    • take my teens shopping for last minute vacation-y sort of stuff
    • [deep breath, exhale]
    • clean the house
    • because, coming home from vacation to a messy house is worse
    • and THEN reload suitcases all over again

    In an attempt to ignore the pain in my lower back and the constant throbbing in my pinky toe — long story, short (you're welcome!) I fell down the stairs at Melisa's house and we were both surprised to learn that I had only broken my toe — I tried to focus on stuff to help keep me from passing out while dodging packs of squeeing tweens at Forever 21:  

    • I cannot WAIT to sloooooooooow down and disconnect
    • to not have to worry about stuff other than whether it is low or high tide
    • which directly affects where we park our beach chairs
    • or not, whatevvvvvvvvvvvver

    Guess what?  Disconnecting is harder than you may believe — especially when traveling with teens, or pretending that social media has not become an important part of our life and perhaps not in the way that most people think.

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  • Donate a Photo: Taking Selfies for Good & Healthy Essentials Giveaway

    Our Beach
    We are currently vacationing in Cape Cod, MA (a.k.a. my pretend home), and with our oldest girl working full-time and our middle girl entering her senior year in high school (no, I’m not quite sure how THAT happened, either!) we’re taking advantage of sharing every possible moment, together:  oh yes, there will be selfies 🙂

    Today, I’m very excited to partner with my friends at TheMotherhood.com and share with you information about Donate a Photo: a free app developed for Android and iOS platforms that allows consumers (like you and me) to
    give back to causes we care about by taking those selfies and
    turning them into a way to do good — #SelflessSelfies.

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  • Simple Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him: Then, There’s MY List!

    My husband's niece is getting married in two weeks and the kids are ALL invited to, what they've begun to very dramatically refer to as, "the wedding".

    They also get to witness their father (you know, my husband) officiate over "the wedding".

    Garth (not his real name) recently became an ordained minister (because his niece and her future husband asked him to) and for $25, or something like that, so can you!!!

    [ducks to avoid lightning bolt]

    Aaaaanyway, the kids CANNOT wait to be able to say, "That's our dad, Reverend Garth (not his real name) up there!" even if it is for just one day.

    In other words, "the wedding":  is a very BIG deal.

    I thought it would be nice to have each of us write a letter to Amy and Jim, expressing our gratitude for allowing ALL of us to celebrate their wedding…I mean, "the wedding"…together. 

    So, I searched the interwebs for some ideas and…holy hints from Heloise…I couldn't help but feel like an old fart (or a seasoned flatulent, for those with verbal sensitivities) especially, when reading newlywed advice like, "How to Show Your Husband You Love Him".

    After 20+ years of marriage (which is almost as long as when we were single, YO!) I'm all like, we still married?!?  GOOD!!!

    Still, I wish some seasoned flatulent would come up with practical marriage advice.

    [one beat, two beats]

    So, you want to see MY list?  Based on actual advice, for newlyweds, I found published on the interwebs:


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  • When it Rains, It Pours and Other Stupidly Obvious Things

    You know that awesome feeling, when you've managed to handle some really difficult aspect of your life, sort of like mastering a jigsaw puzzle:  everything falls into place, without banging them with the side of your fist?  

    Yeah, this is NOT one of those times.

    Pouring in Jersey

    Cue vague-blogging:  dude, it's friggin' pouring, the lights are flickering and, well, Imma need BIGGER fists.

    What doesn't help:  when you've got friends and family going through some really difficult stuff (some requiring the use of both fists, at the same time, even) and, well, am I the only one about to go all…HULK SMASH!!!…and then want to try and fix, all the things?!?

    Guess what?!?  We cannot fix all the things, which is a BIG surprise to no one, except me, obviously.

    However, I can share a couple of OTHER stupidly obvious things (that perhaps make no sense to anyone, but me) which made at least one person in my family want to go all…HULK SMASH!!!…on my ass:

    • Me, after Garth (not his real name) wanting to know why I would walk from the pool, to the house, in wet feet, while holding 2 pairs of flip-flops: because they're dirty.
    • Me, after his trying to make sense of previous bullet: I just washed them in the pool.
    • Me, after his giving me a blank stare: the flips flops, I mean.
    • Me, after his wondering why I would worry about the flip-flops and not my feet: because they are not my flip-flops.
    • Me, after my daughters' realizing it was their flip-flops I was holding: you're welcome!

    Just think, that was one conversation and if you giggled or if the side of your mouth turned up, just a little: then my job here is done.

    Moral of the Story: we cannot fix, and sometimes it's even hard to understand, all the things and that's okay.

    However, if that doesn't work or the next time you have a similar…HULK SMASH!!!…moment,  just be really, really glad you are NOT living with me.

    [sound of circkets chirping]

    Oh, look…OVER THERE!!!…there's something really, really shiny in the water.

    [the sound of our bathroom door, SLAMMING]

    Stupid rain, dumbass bladder.

    © 2003 – 2013 This Full House

    With a fan page on Facebook and everything!  

  • This Full House Monstrous Giveaway

    Comments are now closed: sincerest congratulations to Mary Calabrese (comment #49), Jenn Hammond (comment #3) and Melissa Meyer(comment #42)!!! Please check your email for further instructions 🙂

    My husband, Garth (not his real name) and I have been helping prepare our two oldest girls (mostly ourselves) for college.

    Holly and Heather June 2012

    look, we’re smiling (on purpose!), no more braces 🙂

    Holly (our 19yo) has been working full-time since graduation and will start taking classes, towards a teaching degree, in the fall, while Heather is beginning her senior year in high school — emotionally, we’re ready; financially, not so much.

    Then again, with today’s economy, who is, right?!?

    I am very excited to partner with Kellogg’s and their Scare Scholar promotion on Facebook, launched in conjunction with the super-adorable Monsters University movie:  the promotion offers folks the chance to win instant prizes each day and culminate in one grand prize drawing for a $10,000 scholarship in August. 

    Here’s the really fun part:  I get the chance to share three (3) pretty fabulous prize packs (each including a $200.00 gift card and movie tickets) right here, with you…yes, maybe even YOU!!!

    Because, we roll like that.

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  • Monstrous Giveaway & Blogger Sweepstakes – Official Rules

    (THIS FULL HOUSE MONSTROUS GIVEAWAY) BLOGGER SWEEPSTAKES

    OFFICIAL RULES

    NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE WILL NOT
    INCREASE YOUR

    CHANCES OF WINNING. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED.

    1. HOW TO ENTER: The (THIS FULL HOUSE MONSTROUS GIVEAWAY)
    (“Sweepstakes”) is an online-only Sweepstakes. Sweepstakes begins at (10:00) (AM)
    (EST) on (07/08/13) and ends at 
    (10:00) (AM) (EST) on (7/15/13) (“Promotion Period”). To
    enter, go to (http://www.thisfullhouse.com
    and follow the online instructions to register and complete
    your entry. Registration is free. Once you 
    have completed your registration, click “submit” to enter
    the Sweepstakes.

    All entries become the property of (This Full House)
    (“Sponsor”) and will not be returned. Limit one (1) entry per email address, per day. In the event of a dispute
    regarding entries, any entries will be 
    deemed to have been submitted by the Authorized Account
    Holder of the email address submitted at 
    the time of entry, provided that person meets all
    eligibility requirements set forth in these Official 
    Rules. “Authorized Account Holder” means the natural person
    who is assigned to an email address by 
    an Internet access provider, online service provider, or
    other organization that is responsible for 
    assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with
    the submitted e-mail address. Entrants 
    may not participate with multiple e-mail addresses, nor may
    entrants use any device or artifice to enter 
    multiple times per day or as multiple entrants. Any entrant
    who attempts to enter with multiple e-mail 
    addresses, under multiple identities or uses any other
    device or artifice to enter multiple times per day 
    will be disqualified from participation in the Sweepstakes
    and all entries submitted by that entrant will 
    be void. Only fully completed entries are eligible. Proof of
    submission will not be deemed to be proof 
    of receipt by Sponsor. Sponsor is not responsible for any
    change of mailing address, email address, 
    and/or telephone number of entrants.

    2. ELIGIBILITY: Open to legal residents of the fifty (50)
    United States and District of Columbia who are 18 years of age or older at time of entry. Employees of
    (This Full House), its affiliates, subsidiaries, 
    advertising and promotion agencies and their immediate
    family members and/or those living in the 
    same household of each are not eligible to participate.

    3. RANDOM DRAWING: Winners will be selected in a random
    drawing on or about (July 15, 2013) from among all eligible entries received by Sponsor or its
    designee, the judges in this Sweepstakes, whose 
    decisions are final and binding. Winners will be notified by
    phone, mail and/or email at Sponsor’s 
    discretion.

    4. PRIZE PACK/APPROXIMATE RETAIL VALUES (ARV)/ODDS:

    -Three [3] Prize Packs including:

    – [3] movie tickets to see Monsters’ University at a
    participating theater (ARV of each: $12)

    – [1] $200 “Monster Cash” to be awarded in the form of a
    gift card. Gift card terms and conditions apply.

    Odds of winning depend on total number of eligible entries
    received. Unclaimed prizes will not be awarded. All applicable federal, state, and local taxes on
    prizes are the sole responsibility of the prize 
    winners. Limit one (1) prize per person.

    5. GENERAL: If prize notification or prize is returned as
    non-deliverable, prize may be forfeited and an alternate winner may be selected. No correspondence will be
    acknowledged. No cash equivalents, 
    substitutions or transfer of prize permitted except that
    Sponsor reserves the right to substitute a prize 
    of equal or greater value in the event that an offered prize
    is unavailable. Subject to all federal, state 
    and local laws/regulations. Neither Sponsor, its
    subsidiaries, affiliates, advertising, promotion 
    agencies nor their employees will have any liability
    whatsoever for any injuries, losses or damages of 
    any kind caused by any prize or resulting from acceptance,
    possession, use and/or misuse of any 
    prize or participation in the Sweepstakes or any
    prize-related activities. Acceptance of a prize shall be 
    construed as and signify the winner’s agreement and consent
    that Sponsor may use the winner’s 
    name, voice, likeness and/or prize information, without
    limitation, for promotional purposes without 
    further consideration, review, approval or payment, where
    allowed by law. Winner acknowledges that 
    neither Sponsor nor its agents have made nor are in any
    manner responsible or liable for any 
    warranty, representation or guarantee, express or implied,
    in fact or in law, relative to any prize, 
    including, but not limited to, its quality, mechanical
    condition or fitness for a particular purpose. Any 
    and all warranties and/or guarantees on a prize, if any, are
    subject to the manufacturers’ terms 
    therefore and winner agrees to look solely to such
    manufacturers for any such warranty and/or 
    guarantee. By participating in this promotion, entrants
    agree to be bound by the Official Rules and the 
    decisions of the judges, which are final and binding in all
    respects. Sponsor not responsible for any 
    typographical or other error in the printing of the offer or
    in administration of the Sweepstakes.

    6. INTERNET: Sponsor is not responsible for lost, late,
    mutilated or illegible entries nor for electronic transmission errors resulting in omission, interruption,
    deletion, defect, delay in operations or 
    transmission, theft or destruction or unauthorized access to
    or alterations of entry materials, or for 
    technical, network, telephone equipment, electronic,
    computer, hardware or software malfunctions or 
    limitations of any kind, or inaccurate transmissions of or
    failure to receive entry information by Sponsor 
    or presenter on account of technical problems or traffic
    congestion on the Internet or at any website or 
    any combination thereof. If for any reason the Internet
    portion of the program is not capable of running 
    as planned, including infection by computer virus, bugs,
    tampering, unauthorized intervention, fraud, 
    technical failures, or any other causes beyond the control
    of the Sponsor which corrupt or affect the 
    administration, security, fairness, integrity, or proper
    conduct of this Sweepstakes, the Sponsor 
    reserves the right at its sole discretion, to disqualify any
    individual who tampers with the entry process, 
    and to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the Internet
    portion of the Sweepstakes and select the 
    winners by random drawing from among all eligible entries
    received from all methods combined up to the 
    point of the action taken by the Sponsor. Caution: Any
    attempt by any person to deliberately damage 
    any website or undermine the legitimate operation of the
    game is a violation of criminal and civil laws 
    and should such an attempt be made, Sponsor reserves the
    right to seek damages from any such 
    person to the fullest extent of the law.

    7. For names of winners, send a self-addressed, stamped
    envelope by (August 31, 2013) to: (THIS FULL HOUSE MONSTROUS GIVEAWAY), Attn: Winner’s List, PO Box 7999,
    Kalamazoo, MI 49003-7999. 
    Winner’s list to be available after (August 1, 3013).

    8. SPONSOR: (THIS FULL HOUSE).

  • So, What’s the WORST That Can Happen?

    I have a hard time believing that my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I have been together for 24 years:  we met on a blind date in July of…[reaches for calculator]…1989 and were engaged by November.

    Because any man who hands his date a handkerchief…in the middle of blowing snot during one of the most saddest movie endings in history…and then takes that same handkerchief back from her…all snotted up and everything…is worth hanging onto, verdad?

    Long story, short (you're welcome!):  what makes our relationship work (most of the time) is that Garth (NHRN) is very good at dealing with an emergency.  

    My husband has this awesome ability of assessing almost any situation in a very calm and rational Jedi-type manner, while my approach is much more apocalyptic in nature.

    Which makes me LOTS OF FUN at the end of the world-type disaster movies — World War Z, Walking Dead, I live there, every single day!

    Because, raising teens and a 12-year old who knows MORE stuff than I do, jumping to the worst possible conclusions is about the only exercise I get, these days.

    On the other hand, I am an expert at not sweating small stuff:  because I've already imagined the worst that can happen.

    For example:  hypothetically speaking, say one of our girls were to be asked out on a date, for the first time…like in, EVER!!!…my husband and I would both handle it very, very differently.

    Garth (NHRN):  if I am not home from work, make sure he comes in to meet your mother.

    End of story.

    Me?  Totally different scenario:  okay, so I'm going to visit with your aunt and you're going for sushi and the sushi place happens to be a couple of blocks from your aunt's house, so if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or the date goes all weird on you, text me and I will call you back with some sort of emergency that requires you to come home right away and…WHAT?!?…why are you looking at me all funny like that?!?

    This is NOT your child and you know we're talking totally hypothetical, right?!?

    [one beat, two beats]

    Fiiiiiiiiiiiine, at least I don't have to worry about what we're having for dinner tonight, the other 3 kids LOVE sushi.

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Aaaaaaand, thank goodness we live right on the water, don't even get me started on the subject of seafood sustainability in landlocked states (you're welcome)!

    © 2003 – 2013 This Full House

    With a fan page on Facebook and everything! 

  • Our Stay, Play and Eat Weekend at Morey’s Piers

    #moreyspierscollageMy family and I were very honored to have been invited, as special guests of  Morey’s Piers, to spend the weekend in Wildwood, NJ and meet the famous Morey brothers, in person.  

    Okay, so I was THRILLED!!!  

    I got to revisit some of my favorite childhood memories of summertime(s) past:  when my twin brother and I would spend our days playing on the beach, as my parents sunned themselves while listening to my dad’s favorite doo-wop radio station (WCBS FM 101.1), and then follow the parade of flip flops, begging our parents for “Please, just one more quarter?!?” to play any one of the dozens of carnival games (it was a long time ago, shuddup!) along the 2 miles of boardwalk, at night.

    Okay, great, but what really made this family getaway even MORE fabulous:

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