This Full House Archive

Category: Who’s Parenting Who?

Hump Day Diddy Dumbs:
The Sound of Mucinex

The kids tag-teamed being sick over holiday break and, at last count, it was my youngest daughter's turn…shhhh, but don't tell her, okay?

Oh, not to worry, we experienced bright and shiny non-crud-filled moments, together, too.

Like, during our annual New Year's Eve movie marathon, we watched Fiddler on the Roof and one of our (okay, my) ALL time favorite musicals, ever, The Sound of Music.

That's a combined total of 355 minutes (or, 5.916666667 hours) of unadulterated, pure as alpine mountain air, nerdy nirvana and, well, yes, we are THAT family of geeky Broadway buffs blurting out lines from old show tunes at the dining room table.

Wanna come for dinner? No problem. Dress casual. Bring a face mask.

Aaaaand, for your musical pleasure, here's a little something, just for you, with slightly adjusted verbage, to compliment the suckage:

Yes, we're barely alive with the help of Mucinex
With muck we have flung for like a thousand years
The crud fills their lungs with the sound of mucus
My heart feels like it's gonna drown with every cough it hears

It makes me want to beat the creeping crud out of them
just from total lack of sleep
I just want them to breath (dammit!)
makes parent teacher conferences seem like a breeze

To cough so hard it makes them trip and fall
god I hate that their feeling this way
To cough through the night
and sleepwalk through the rest of the day

I go to the pills when my heart feels all achy
I know I will hear what I've heard before
Their lungs will be blessed with the sound of Mucinex
And I'll sleep once more

Dinner's at 6-ish, you're welcome!!!

[This is an unpaid, unsponsored and undoubtedly the dorkiest post I've written in, well, what day is it? Aaaaaanyway, just be glad I didn't post the video I made of myself, you know, singing it, stupid sleep deprivation.]

© 2003 – 2011 This FULL House Blog / This FULL House (Re)Views

January 5, 2011
Curse While You’re Thinking
It Saves Time (In Jersey, Anyway!)

Queen Latifah (love her!) gives a really great interview in Parade Magazine, this week:

"There's something about growing up in New Jersey that prepares you for whatever you might encounter around the world. We're not afraid to go places."

Having lived in Jersey, all my life, I feel it safe to say, "What she said!!!"

Contrary to what many other people may think (about people from Jersey) specifically, about moms like me…ahem…we really do know how to use our words and, although we tend to speak with our hands, some of us more than others…ahem…Jersey Girls know how to use their inside voices, too.

[sound of crickets, chirping]

Unless, you've had someone home, sick, since Christmas Eve and then get dumped on by 3 feet of snow (a.k.a. Snowmaggedon) causing you to convince a typically understanding 15 year-old (note: she was the one sick on Christmas) that…YES!!!…celebrating unbirthdays is waaaay cool (IS SO!) oh, and that shopping for last minute New Year's Eve snackage is awesome AND fun (see previous parenthesis) then, some unfortunate a$$hat decides to take your parking space.

[inhales]

You know, the one you've been patiently waiting on for the last eleventy hours.

"ARE YOU FRICKIN' KIDDING ME!"

[puts car in park, rolls up sleeves, swallows gum]

"What are *bleep*ing blind, can't you see me *bleep*ing waiting ovuh-heh?"

[inhales]

"Yah, well, a very Happy *Bleep*ing New Year, to you, too, you morrrrrrr-RON!"

Aaaand, this is about the time I remembered that, you know, my 15 year-old was still in the car and, judging by the look on her face, I just earned myself another reason why I won't be accepting Mother of the Year, again, or anytime soon, for that matter.

[rolls window down]

"Yeah, what SHE said!"

Then again, looking on the bright side, my kids are getting older and, well, worst case, they won't be afraid to call out bad behavior when the see it.

[rolls window up]

"Um…what the heck is an A$$hat?"

Aaaand they seem to be able to show much more restraint than, you know, their mother, already.

"Someone who says or does something, stupid, without thinking."

On the other hand, the lesson would have been MUCH MORE effective if, you know, I had thought to roll the window down…first.

"Can I say it?"

[one beat, two beats]

"Only if someone really, really deserves it!"

So, Happy New Year, everyone…except you.

[rolls down window]

"You stupid, parking-space-stealing, a$$hat!"

What she said!

© 2003 – 2011 This FULL House Blog / This FULL House (Re)Views

January 2, 2011
Spittin’ on Sunshine (Wooah!)

Happy 15th Birthday, Heather!

By now, you've been marked on the measuring wall, had your birthday hunt and opened your gift (you're welcome!) and I really do hope that you're not too disappointed.

Don't worry. I understand. Even if you swore a thousand and one times on your beloved great-grandmother's grave (who loved you very much, too and is probably watching, right now, so I better be REAL careful about what I say next) birthdays SHOULD be coveted and a time when selflessness is, more often than not, overlooked.

Unless, you live in our house…your birthday falls SMACK in the middle of cold and flu season…it snowed about two-gazillion feet and you're STILL digging out (DAMMIT!) or, in this case, ALL of the above (see previous parenthesis!) aaaand, your birthday sleepover (a.k.a. slumberless) party has been postponed (again) until maybe, um, next year?

"How about if I pencil you in for this Thursday?"

It's times like these when I begin to believe that wishing on sunshine and rainbows is highly overrated.

"That's okay, Momma, I understand."

As I watch you, right now, whille we take advantage of a delayed opening at dad's office (YAY!) and enjoy an impromptu breakfast celebration (i.e. just happened to have eggs, milk AND enough flour) chowing down on his scrumpdeliumptious crepes and finding contentment with where you are, right now.

"For some reason, these taste really, really good today, dad!"

It's only then do I realize the warm streams of light that begin to float through our dining room window and find absolute joy in being able to see our spit in the sunshine.

"Wait, let me try!"

Still, I can't help but agree with your father and his gosh-darned New England sensibility (sort of!)

"You guys are really just too much!"

Because, these are the times, when I truly believe, with all my heart, there is NO such thing as too much gift.

"Ready, together now!"

Happy Birthday, BeeBop!!!

"We're spittin' on sunshine, WHOOAH!"

Once again, you've proved yourself WAY too much gift, for me — but, I love, LOve, LOVe, oh my gosh, I absolutely freakin' LOVE you — I'm keeping you, anyway.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House Blog / This FULL House (Re)Views

December 28, 2010
Random Acts of Zhu for the Holidays: New Jersey & Zhu, Happy Together!

It's been a crazy, busy year — even Santa doubts my being able to finish EVERYTHING on MY to do list in time for eggnog o'clock — then, my youngest daughter (she's 9) asked if she could practice her writing skills and wrote a wonderful post about Christmas.

It made me realize just how GROWN UP she's getting and, sadly, Kris Kringle won't be needing my services, for much longer, after all.

[pout]

Good thing Hope and I got the chance to play Santa, this week!

I am very proud to be one of bloggers chosen to participate in Cepia LLC's Random Acts of Zhu holiday giving program.

Each of us were given 104 Zhu Zhu Pets to donate to the charity of our choice, with no compensation OR strings attached.

Why?

Hope and I were THRILLED with the prospect of being able to help families in need and perhaps make another child's holiday a little brighter, too!

Our first stop was the Herb Young Annual Toy Drive held at Hope's elementary school where we donated 7 boxes (56 Zhu Zhu pets) to the children at Spring House in Eatontown, NJ:

"We provide services to break the barriers of homelessness and reinforce self-dignity, independence and self-awareness for women with children."

The toys will be distributed to the families staying at Spring House, tomorrow, Christmas Eve!

Next stop, Jersey Shore Medical Center in Neptune, NJ — they took GREAT care of my middle girl two Christmases ago (okay, me, too!) — we made an appointment to deliver the remaining 6 boxes of Zhu Zhu pets, after school on Tuesday.

We were greeted by Jara Ferrante, a Child Life Specialist and her Assistant, Elizabeth (nice name, btw, heh!) two SUPER friendly ladies with an AWESOME sense of humor (see picture above) who make it their business to help even their littlest visitors at K. Hovnanian Children's Hospital feel warm and welcome.

Hope was THRILLED to learn that the Zhu Zhu pets will be put into the "magic closet," so, whenever there's a birthday, or a child is having a particularly difficult time adjusting to their journey, they will be gift wrapped and, hopefully, help the children left in their care feel right at home.

I know, Hope did!

Thank you SO MUCH, Jara, for allowing us to bring some of that warm and fuzzy feeling home with us, along with Hope's new bff, Hopscotch (she's Dr. Bernard's bouncy buddy) too!!!

Special thanks to Cepia LLC for allowing my family to help spread a little holiday cheer, this year!

Why?

Because, nice matters and being able to give a little back to our community, via This Full House of sticky floors and crunchy socks, feels REAL GOSH-DARNED GOOD, too!

LINKY LOVE BYTES:

Jersey Shore University Medical Center's Website

K. Hovnanian Children's Hospital Social Media Center

K. Hovnanian Children's Hospital on Facebook

K. Hovnanian Children's Hospital on Twitter

Happy Holidays, everyone!!!

(Cross-posted to my review blog)

© 2003 – 2010 This FULL House (Re)Views / This FULL House Blahg'd

Disclosure: No payment, or product was received for this post or for my participation in this program.

December 23, 2010
Congratulations It’s ….

Just the BESTEST, AWESOMEST, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER, not to mention, ABSOLUTELY FRIGALICIOUS camera…EVUH!!!…looky what WE can do:

Is that thing even loaded?

Yep, Mama's packing and ready to zoom!

Christmas has arrived early at This Full House of sticky floors and crunchy socks…

…bearing 10.3 megapixels and 26x zoom!!!

Thank you, Garth (not his real name) for suggesting that we wait, continue couch diving for loose change and then gift each other with the most BESTEST, AWESOMEST, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER not to mention, ABSOLUTELY FRIGALICIOUS camera…EVUH!!!

[takes deep breath]

Although, you'll have to pry it from my stupid manfingers with a 33 1/2 inch crowbar, first.

[hides arms, ever so gently, behind back and puckers up BIG]

Merry Christmas, baby!!!

© 2003 – 2010 This FULL House (Re)Views / This FULL House Blahg'd

December 21, 2010
#Reverb10: Lesson Learned

Reverb 10 is an online initiative created by Gwen Bell to reflect on 2010, consider, you know, what's next and, through daily writing prompts, help folks (like me) share their story.

Since I am ALL about sharing (shuddup Garth, not your real name!) my friend Shannon is doing it and now Diana's joining in (although, the non-conformist in me can't promise to, you know, write daily) I've decided to give it a whirl.

Todays' Prompt: Lesson Learned — What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

My first thought? Which one? Seeing as I've made it my business to share stuff I've learned about myself, either through raising my kids, reading your blogs (yes, I REALLY DO READ BLOGS!) or through the bazillion mistakes I've made, over the years.

Too many to recount, really (you're welcome!)

There is, however, one lesson that I find myself revisting on a daily basis (almost) but, I've resisted blogging about, lest I offend anyone, or risk opening an old wound that, for some reason, just refuses to, you know, scab over.

Until now.

Entering into my 8th year of blogging and helping our community of moms (and dads) grow exponentially, I made the mistake of allowing myself to believe my integrity was unquestionable!

Well, it wasn't…isn't…ugh…what I mean to say is this…having lived through that experience (a.k.a. I Survived Twittergate) and then, rethinking my entire blogging platform (for the better, I hope) I've learned that my integrity can indeed remain, intact.

And, so, I continue to share my words (here) find ways to engage and give back to my community (here) read your stories (here) and, hopefully, one of us will feel better, knowing that, even though comments aren't what they used to be (stupid facebook, dumbass twitter) doesn't necessarily mean no one is, you know, listening.

PHEW! I feel better now, thanks!!

Aaand, if you're STILL reading along, know that there is a special place in heaven (or, a facsimile thereof) reserved for prettiful people, like you.

Even if it means humoring a professional dork, like me.

/story

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My OTHER Reverb 10 stories.

© 2003 – 2010 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping

December 17, 2010
#Rever10: Friendship

Reverb 10 is an online initiative created by Gwen Bell to reflect on 2010, consider, you know, what's next and, through daily writing prompts, help folks (like me) share their story.

Since I am ALL about sharing (shuddup Garth, not your real name!) my friend Shannon is doing it and now Diana's joining in (although, the non-conformist in me can't promise to, you know, write daily) I've decided to give it a whirl.

Today's prompt: Friendship – How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I'm NOT very good at asking for stuff.

Oh, I ask the kids to feed the dog, change the cat litter, pick up the wet towels or take out the garbage, which, admittedly, becomes more of a DEMAND, after asking for the 3rd or 4th time, DAMMIT!

Asking someone, — specifically, another mom — to please do me a favor, not so much.

One of my mom friends, which is code for:

One (or more) of our kids go to school together, we've spent at least one hour (or more) complaining about our kids comparing notes and alcoholic beverages may (or may not) have been involved.

Without getting too personal (about her life, NOT mine!) she's had a REALLY sucky year.

The kind of suckage that leeches its way under your skin, squeezes your heart, melts all the soft squishy parts, rips through your soul and leaves an unidentifiable pile of sludge, in its wake, before the day even begins.

Comparatively speaking, my life is gooder than good.

We don't see each other much, anymore — which is the sad truth with most of my mom friends, once my daughters quit girl scouts, or our kids hit middle school — but, her youngest carpools with my youngest and, well, raising kids is real hard.

Having to raise 4 kids, on her own, sucks hairy donkey balls!

I got a text from her, this morning, asking me if I could drop her kid off at her mother's house, "If it's not too much trouble."

My heart squeezed and…YEP…making sure her kid gets home (or wherever he needs to be on any particular day) is the LEAST I could do AND truth be told, sort of a selfish act on my part, as well.

It. Makes. Me. Feel. Good.

[sound of angels singing]

Then it hit me, right there, in the middle of the elementary school's parking lot, somewhere in between the soft squishy parts, that maybe, juuuuuust maybe, I can learn to ask a friend for a favor AND perhaps make someone ELSE feel good, at the same time, too, right?

Riiiiight.

[sound of incoming text]

"You are the best!! Can't thank you enough….we are very lucky to have you for a friend!!"

Stupid soft squishy parts.

—————————————-

My OTHER Reverb 10 stories.

© 2003 – 2010 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping

December 16, 2010
#Reverb10: Appreciate

Reverb 10 is an online initiative created by Gwen Bell to reflect on 2010, consider, you know, what's next and, through daily writing prompts, help folks (like me) share their story.

Since I am ALL about sharing (shuddup Garth, not your real name!) my friend Shannon is doing it and now Diana's joining in (although, the non-conformist in me can't promise to, you know, write daily) I've decided to give it a whirl.

Today's prompt: Appreciate — what’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

This year? Yeah, it was a tough one. What…for you, too? I know. Right?

I got a job (for real) then, I lost it (stupid economy!) I know it was only 7 months (seems longer, working nights, while your SigOth works days, really) still, I had a REAL hard time adjusting to civilian life!

Know anyone who's hiring?

[sound of many, many crickets, chirping]

Then again, there is some good to be found in ALL the suckage.

My twin brother DID give cancer another asswhoopin' (it really SHOULD learn to just stay down, stupid cancer!) and my dad added another notch on his belt in the battle against heart disease, the bastard (heart disease, NOT my dad!)

Aaaaand, I have SO MUCH more to be grateful for, I know!

However, losing someone very dear to me recently has made me take inventory of my own life and, most especially, appreciate those who are closest to my heart.

Like, how I could have NEVER gotten through ANY of this, or the previous 20 years, for that matter, if it weren't for my husband, Garth (not his real name) and his way of making even the smallest gesture (like, making the first pot of coffee, or warming up the car and packing the kids lunches, every blessed morning) an act of absolute serenity.

How do I express gratitude for it?

I let the dog out, put up a pot of coffee, fed the cat, woke the kids, let in the dog and fed him, unloaded the dishwasher, fed the kids, drove Heather to the bus stop, packed the lunches and then drove Holly to the high school.

All before 7:30 a.m. this morning.

[one beat, two beats]

Okay, okay, so I gave the kids money to buy their lunches and they can pretty much fend for themselves, at breakfast, too.

Still.

I am ABSOLUTELY sure that Garth (not his real name) appreciated the break.

How do I know?

[grin]

By appreciating the fact that my time management skills are, you know, FAR superior to his!

You're welcome.

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My OTHER Reverb 10 stories.

© 2003 – 2010 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping

December 14, 2010
#Reverb10: Wisdom
Reverb 10 is an online initiative created by Gwen Bell to reflect on 2010, consider, you know, what's next and, through daily writing prompts, help folks (like me) share their story.

Since I am ALL about sharing (shuddup Garth, not your real name!) and my friend Shannon is doing it (although, the non-conformist in me can't promise to, you know, write daily) I've decided to give it a whirl.

Today's prompt: Wisdom — what was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Confession. Ready? I'm NOT very good with decisions (I know, act surprised anyway!)

Oh, I can decide on lots of stuff. Dozens of times. Every blessed gosh-darned day, even!

Nonsensical declarations, like:
- Sure, belly dancing sounds like fun, why not?
- NO, that does NOT mean you can get your belly button pierced!
- Yes, What's-her-Face can sleep over.
- NO, that does NOT mean you can have a party!
- Sure, a class trip to NYC sounds like fun, why not?
- NO, I am NOT available to chaperon, either!
- Yes, So-and-So may stay for dinner.
- NO, that does NOT mean you can get a gun!
Decision like that. Every. Blessed. Day. Just, you know, NOT for myself.

Last month, I decided NOT to ignore my health any longer and, without going into too much detail (you're welcome!) turns out it was the WISEST decision I've made in a very, very long time.

For myself!

Now, I can continue dispensing my supreme wisdom, where it is needed most (shuddup!)

"You signed me up for WHAT?!?"

Without having to worry about anything, you know, dropping off, or falling out!

"Oh, alright, as long as I can walk, because running STILL makes me pee, a little."

Sort of!

My OTHER Reverb 10 stories.

© 2003 – 2010 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping
December 10, 2010
#Reverb10: Beautifully Different

Reverb 10 is an online initiative created by Gwen Bell to reflect on 2010, consider, you know, what's next and, through daily writing prompts, help folks (like me) share their story.

Since I am ALL about sharing (shuddup Garth, not your real name!) and my friend Shannon is doing it (although, the non-conformist in me can't promise to, you know, write daily) I've decided to give it a whirl.

Today's prompt: Beautifully Different — Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

I broke out the YouCam and snapped a picture, this morning (since, I showered and everything…you're welcome!!!)

Beautiful? I dunno. Different? Most definitely, from as far back as I can remember (oh, it's not THAT far, shuddup!)

I grew up speaking a different language, living on a street filled with nearly every ethnicity represented in the United Nations (today) and eating stuff that other folks would normally have trouble identifying (why, it's cow stomach soup, want some?)

Being different came, you know, naturally.

Beautiful? Hard for me to say. Different? Well, my right eye IS smaller than my left; my eyebrows are way too thick (imagine what they would look like if I did NOT tweeze them every dang-gone day!) oh, and my lips are a bit crooked (especially, when I smile)

UGH! Don't EVEN get me started on how LOOOOOONG it took me to grow into my nose (matches my crooked smile, perfectly) or, how the years are beginning to, you know, leave skid marks all over my face….DAMMIT!!!

[blows bangs out of left eye, scratches nose]

Then again, it's NOT the years, HONEY — it's the mileage!!!

I've worked REAL hard to earn ALL those pretty little lines up there (i.e. I'm a mom) AND my kids seem to like me, this way (sort of) especially, because my left eye is almost always BIGGER than my right in every picture….which, of course, means that, you know….I am smiling.

Different? Yeah, we're good and did I mention I'm raising REAL pretty kids who ARE proving to be waaaay smarter than me?

Good thing, too, seeing as I've pretty much proved to them that they won't be able to earn a college education on, you know, their mother's good looks, alone.

[snort]

Thank goodness no one's thought to start charging us moms (and dads) for heavy eye baggage…YET!!!

My OTHER Reverb 10 stories.

© 2003 – 2010 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping

December 8, 2010