This Full House Archive

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After the Storm

We heard it was coming, a few days after experiencing our first earthquake and it was supposedly one of the biggest storms to hit the New Jersey coast in recent memory.

We prepared, each in our own way and as much as we could, considering our house loses power whenever the town burps or hiccups, stocking up on can goods, batteries, candles, lots of ice and Ibuprofen (okay, that last one was for me) thinking that we would be without electric for a day or two.

Five (5) days later, my middle girl called me at the laundromat to say that the lights came on and I cried.

We fared better than most.

A week after the storm, it was announced that the federal government has approved New Jersey’s disaster assistance request for state residents in ALL 21 counties impacted by Hurricane Irene.

Just a few miles away, there are people we know who are still without power and/or draining a swimming pool in their basement.

As we wait our turn to estimate the cost of the damage caused by Irene (at last count, our living room ceiling sprung about a dozen leaks and the wallpaper by our front door burst open to expose a magical water fountain underneath) there is nothing that could not be repaired, or cannot be dealt with, over time.

Not when there were lives lost.

Although, I feel it safe to admit that…YES!…the last week or so has been very stressful.

Except, the part where we spent two gorgeous days and nights with my parents (see pic above!) or, hosting an impromptu virtual sleepover with online friends (thanks, you and Gabs do good face, Jenn!)

Oh, and ALL four of the kids are actually looking forward to starting school tomorrow (FTW!)

I, on the other hand, am very, very thankful to be able to sit here, in this house (filled to capacity with unmatched socks and mildewy as it may be) I get it.

People have experienced worse…of course, they always do…but, we WERE lucky and I am just happy to have the chance to write…again…after the storm.

Howeverrrrrrr, the next person who insists that…pssshhhh…Hurricane Irene was NUH-THING!…gets a Wet Willy (look it up!)

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

September 5, 2011
Square Pegs, Coolots and Gleeks, OH MY!

This is me (okay, this is me, now, waiting for you to stop laughing) at 10 years-old (Post Amazonian-Growth Spurt, Stage 1) wearing my favorite pair of coolots (it's a real word, look it up) and the first time, in my life, that I can remember, where I actually felt, you know, sort of hip.

WHAT?!?!?

Crushed velvet was soooooo 1975. Only the coolest kids wore purple coolots, aaaaaand, if you've ever watched Forrest Gump, you know that smiley face paraphernalia was ALL the rage, then, too!

[sound of crickets chirping]

Fiiiiiiiine.

I was a square peg, way before being different was, you know, cool.

I'm not saying that I was better. Just different. And, raising 4 pegs of my own, I see now that it's only human nature to, you know, want to fit in.

Yet, deep down inside, I can't help but feel a certain sort of dork-ish pride, whenever one of my kids chooses to, oh, I don't know, think outside the pun.

Like, the other day, my youngest was feeling all, you know, 10-ish, so, I thought it would be best to take her on errands with me, rather than leave her with her siblings and risk losing 2 of my best sitters.

Apparently, Hope was feeling a bit Gleek-ish and, to be honest, she matched her "I'm a Nerdy Sort of Cute," t-shirt, quite well, I think.

"Are you really going to wear that?"

Still, there's a fine line between embracing the beauty of different and being all in your face with a big old used pair of 3D glasses, right?

"Why, I'm NOT afraid?"

She then pushed her makeshift nerd glasses up her nose and gave me that, "What'cha talking about, Willis" look, right up there and 2 points if you know where the heck I heard THAT saying from, too!

LESSON LEARNED: I am NOT smarter than my 5th grader and I'm okay with it.

We made several stops and, do you know, not one person gave her a second glance, not that I saw, anyway.

"Being a nerd is A LOT cooler than when you were in school, Mom!"

Then again, we live in Jersey, she's ONLY 10 and what do I know?

NOTE TO SELF: Remember to raise Holly's and Heather's allowance.

Once we start paying them one, I mean.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

July 11, 2011
Insert Blog Post Title, Right Here…

So, my husband, Garth (not his real name) was ironing his dress shirt the other morning.

Okay, he irons his dress shirts…every morning.

Because, I don't have the patience…especially, when it comes to completing intricate little domestic duties…that require the use of both hands…at the SAME time…plus, I hate ironing…oh, and mornings.

[takes deep breath]

Aaaaanyway, as usual, my eyes were glued shut (stupid allergies!) so, I tried to, you know, un-glue them and that's when the conversation turned, well, sort of weird.

[looking into mirror]

"The left one kinda looks crusty."

[one beat, two beats]

"That's what SHE said!!!"

Buh-dum-bum.

SNORT!

[sound of crickets]

Guess you had to be there. Still, we both thought it was ALSO pretty funny. How, even the most innocent sentence in the world changes when responded to as:

"That's what SHE said!"

SNORT!

Because, I am ALL about making blogging fun (shuddup!) I thought…HEY!…I bet we could do this with blogs, too.

Want to play?

The rules, they are easy — all you have to do is leave a comment here:

1. List your latest blog post title.

2. Followed by, "That's what SHE said!"

That's it. Feel free to play this on your own blog, too. The more the merrier, right?

"That's what she said!!!"

Orrrrrrr, just make something up, I'm easy.

"That's what SHE said!"

Buh-dum-bum.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

Freshly-Brewed Review: MyGofer.com Gift Cards Giveaway
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May 11, 2011
I Heard it Through the Grapevine

My husband, Garth (not his real name) and I planted grapes about two years ago (I think) when I was sort of toying with the idea of channeling my Hungarian roots and making my very own, you know, homemade wine.

Until, last summer, when the grapes died, along with most of our tomatoes, cucumbers and whatever else the stupid ground hog missed, before the rains came and washed his furry little butt away (out to sea, I hope) along with half our neighbor's yard and, well, I would have been happy with a small jar of jelly, really.

Then, the birds ate the rest and, well, got to love nature, right?

Still. I refuse to give up, DAMMIT. So, last weekend, my husband Garth (not his real name) unlocked the tool shed and not because he's afraid of the kids hurting themselves, or anything.

Seriously, even my almost-ten-year-old knows that giant, ferocious, probably child-eating sort of bees live in our shed and, well, she may, or may not, have heard it from a somewhat reliable source, in an effort to keep kids from touching MY stuff, don't judge!

Aaaaand, there was this one time, during summer vacation, when I nearly electrocuted myself so, well, oh, look…up there…is that REAL raspberries?!?

Okay, not yet…but, soon (I hope) along with a crop of blackberries we planted, last weekend, on the other side of the shed (not shown, because, you know, bees live there) and look what else Garth (NHRN) helped me build.

Like it? It's my first. What do you mean, what is it? Why, it's a…uh…well, not quite a shed…um…more like a peaceful place to pot things in.

Not to mention, hide the stuff we've recycled, from other people's yards.

YES, with their permission, of course, sheesh.

SHEESH!

It took us all day, last Sunday, but, you know what?

It felt, really, really good, too.

Okay, so maybe not in a, "Oh, look, I'm saving the world, ya'll" sort of way, I admit.

But, dang it to h-e-double-hockey-sticks if we can't, at the very least, teach our kids to help make the world, look just a wee bit prettier, right from our very own backyard, either.

"Wow, YOU made this, mom?!?!"

Yes, yes, it's my first, and I did it recycling a couple of grape vines, dead as they are.

"Ewwwwwwwww!"

[eyes go wide]

"Oh come on, it's not THAT bad, is it?"

Seriously, seeing as she is the only one, of all four of my kids, who likes to be outside, on purpose, I thought that at least my almost-ten-year-old would appreciate the effort.

"No, look, you're bleeding!"

So, yeah, I'm NOT the greenest mom on the planet.

"Ewwwww, and what's that on your nose?"

Aaaand, I seemed to have misplaced my gardening gloves (AGAIN!) good thing I also happen to look better in red, anyway.

[blank stare]

I know, still, you'll never be able to convince me there's a global benefit to allowing poison ivy to grow, all over the danged place, EVER, either.

[sound of crickets, chirping]

Oh, look, up there, is that a REAL grape vine wreath!?!?

[SLAM!]

Happy Mother's Day weekend, everyone and don't forget to lock up your power tools…oh, and for heaven sakes, wear gloves…I hear poison ivy is quite the mood killer, trust me…also, will someone PLEASE tell Garth (NHRN) we need more wine, thanks!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

Freshly-Brewed Elsewhere: The Perfect Mother's Day Gift Idea for Dads
Freshly-Brewed Review: Absolutely the Last Possible Minute Mother's Day Gift Idea, I Promise!

May 6, 2011
Then Again, If We HAD Won the HGTV Dream Home, What WOULD I Blog About?

Some experts would say our house is eclectic — you know, where stuff doesn't match, on purpose — but, I like to call it, "Early American Yard Sale."

Or, what's another word for not so gently used?

Aaaaanyway, I was SO EXCITED about winning the 2011 HGTV Dream Home — YES, I KNOW!!! — the one in beautiful Stowe, VT, SO EXCITING, right???

Until, some other guy won it (JERK!) okay, not really.

The winner is a stay-at-home dad, lives somewhere near Chicago, with a growing family and a small house, too.

Aaaaand they used to live in Jersey, so YAY (sort of!) although, I would have been much, MUCH more, you know, visibly excited.

Does no one jump up and down, or do the happy dance, anymore?

Every year. The same thing. I've had to curse someone out…for winning, MY HOUSE…but, I'm slowly getting over myself.

Frankly, there are folks out there who would love to be able to live in a house…let alone, own one…broken as ours is.

At the end of the day, my kids call it home and, well, our house has got good bones.

In fact, I wrote a post, 3 years ago, about the 13 things I haven't managed to break…YET!!!

So, I thought it would be sort of fun to revisit them and see if, you know, stuff still works.

Blogged 2008: My beloved blow dryer I've had it so long, I don't remember when I bought it, and I believe that blow dryers – sort of like, dogs – begin to take on the characteristics of their human counterparts.

TODAY: It's a little dinged and gets overheated, sometimes (you're welcome!) but it still works!!!

BLOGGED 2008: G.G.'s table. My mother-in-law gave us this telephone table. It belonged to her mother.

TODAY: Still have the itty-bitty chair, too, but I've since moved the violet to the kitchen (yes, it's STILL alive…see?) because, this one time, during summer camp, I forgot to water it…then, over-watered it…and, well, you can't see the BIG old water stain…can you?

BLOGGED 2008: Mr. Dyson's Opus. What, doesn't everyone name their housekeeping buddies? Oh, dear Mr. Dyson, how I love this vacuum cleaner.

TODAY: We set a place for him at the kitchen table.

BLOGGED 2008: G.G.'s Christmas Cactus. Another gift from my mother-in-law (because, she must really, really like me) this is a cutting from her father's Christmas Cactus and is about a bazillion years old.

TODAY: It FINALLY bloomed one, lonely, little flower (I even blogged a picture of it, just last week) but, the cat ate it…damnit!

BLOGGED 2008: The Refrigerator. Yes, it's still running and the very first appliance purchased for the house, when we moved in 15 years ago.

TODAY: 3 years and 2 refrigerators, later (dang, but some appliances break easy) we had to move the new one to the other side of the kitchen. I imagine we'll need a new house for the next one…sheesh!

BLOGGED 2008: Creeping Charlie. Charlie's not very happy with me, at the moment. Don't know why, though. He's got the whole corner, to himself.

TODAY: You are very sadly missed, Charlie.

BLOGGED 2008: China cabinet filled with pretties from Hungary. Because, I keep them ALL behind glass and Garth (not his real name) cleans it…'nuf said.

TODAY: He doesn't clean it, anymore, either and I just tell everyone that it's for philanthropic reasons, as we're currently housing a colony of dust bunnies, rent free.

BLOGGED 2008: Sir Fig Newton. Some of my best childhood memories are from trips visiting family in Hungary and picking fresh figs from my Uncle's tree. It was HUGE and had a rope swing hanging from one of its branches. This one, not so much. I've always wanted a fig tree and finally bought a young plant, last spring.

TODAY: I planted it in our backyard, last summer. Then, it snowed…and snowed…and snowed…and, well, you know…it's been a real tough winter…but, yes…it is STILL alive…that's right…because, it's a Jersey fig, bay-bee!

BLOGGED 2008: The cookie jar. We received this cookie jar on our wedding day…GULP…nearly 18 years ago. Yes, it's still in one piece. Nope, not even a chip. I'm just as surprised as you are, believe me. After 4 kids, 2 cats…etc…etc…yep, this little jar has seen a LOT of action!

TODAY: Going on 21 years now and, well, none of us need to be eating any more danged cookies. So, I hid it in my pretend pantry…shhhhhh, but don't tell Garth (not his real name) he doesn't need to know…in fact, feel free to grab a cookie, or 20!!!

BLOGGED 2008: My sneakers. I bought these when The Boy started kindergarten and, trust me, they have seen a LOT of mileage. When doofus dog sees me putting these puppies on, he knows, it means maybe…just maybe…we are FINALLY going out for a walk!

TODAY: He's just too danged tired to even care what I'm wearing, me either!

BLOGGED 2008: These are MY geraniums. All of these pots are from cuttings off of a plant I received after Thing One was born, 14 years ago.

TODAY: They've continued to bloom…more and more, every year…me, too.

Aaaand, lastly…but, certainly not least-ly…the Doofus-Dog. He's lucky I haven't killed him, yet.

TODAY: What, with that face? Besides, his faith in me is virtually unbreakable…no matter how much I may curse him…out loud.

Besides, if I really DID win the HGTV Dream Home, then, my friends, this post would never have happened.

[sound of crickets chirping]

Stupid HGTV!!!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

March 23, 2011
See Mom Morph Into Barry Williams

In my pursuit to make blogging fun, again…seriously, check out my accent vlog, see if you think I tawk funny, I'm still waiting for Miss Zoot to do hers…ahem…I found out something very, very interesting.

[nonchalantly looks to the left, right, then left again]

So, I was reading about my friend Christine's (a.k.a. From Dates to Diapers) desire to win the #TypeACeleb Contest and she did this fun match your face to a celebrity thingy and, turns out, Christine looks a whole lot like Julia Roberts, only prettier (Christine, I mean, sorry Julia!)

Naturally, I was curious (i.e. desperately seeking an ego boost, as well) and thought I would try it, too.

Sooooo, I uploaded the most natural-looking picture of me, without makeup, which I also use on my social media platforms.

MyHeritage: Family trees – Genealogy – Celebrities

Barry Williams? The Brady Bunch? Seriously?

[hangs head in shame]

If anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs, googling local distributors for Bobbie Brown Cosmetics, cheap truck rentals and tips on ways to speed up the dry time for spackle.

Or, you could always tell me something nice, like, oh, I dunno, how much I do NOT look like Barry Williams, DAMMIT!!!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

March 11, 2011
You Say Bribery, I Say Schmibery
Either Way, It’s All UPPERCASE To THEM!

My youngest loves to make lists; this one from the day after New Year's, when my husband came down with another mancold.

Living in a houseful of girls, who insist that shoving stuff into corners and hiding dirty clothes under the bed is, you know, cleaning, I sometimes forget that we have a son.

I don't mean, like, I forget to pick him up from school (which is a good thing, seeing as my kids go to four different schools) or, that he's not listed on our tax forms, or anything.

It's just that, you know, boys are different.

Although, I really DO have trouble remembering which is which.

Whose idea was it to pick girls names, all starting in the same letter, anyway? Oh, wait. that was me, never mind.

Aaaaanyway, what was I saying?

[watches dust bunnies dancing in the sunlight]

Oh, yeah. The boy's room is almost always clean and WTH is it with Ladies Rooms, anyway, RIGHT?

[sound of crickets, chirping]

So, raising 2 teens and 2 tweens, I seem to have also picked up the annoying habit of, you know, SPEAKING LOUDLY!

"What's for dinner?"

"Pork chops and apple sauce."

[5 mins later]

"What's for dinner?"

[sigh]

"Pork chops."

[10 mins later]

"What's for dinner?"

[heavy sigh]

"Pork."

[one beat, two beats]

"What's for…"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

[covers ears]

"Ooooookay. Why you hollerin'?"

See, no wonder kids think parents are weird, or, maybe it's just me (shuddup!) but, I'm happy to say, that I have recently happened upon a brand new parenting tactic.

Long story, short (I know, too late, thanks for reading and has anyone ever told you how pretty you really, are?) bribery was not involved.

"What's wrong with Heather?"

"She's sick."

Then, my 17 year-old woke up with a migraine.

"What's wrong with Holly?"

"Sick."

Then, my 12 year-old son got down on his knees and began to beg.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze, I've only had one sick day!"

To save time, I didn't even bother waking up the 9 year-old (you know, what's her name, kinda short, sort of looks like me, likes to make lists?) and instituted a "mental health day," at the beginning of this week, with one proviso:

"You will have to clean your room and I mean holiday clean!"

Aaaand, I didn't even have to use UPPERCASE!

[cough, cough]

"What's the matter with Glen?"

The kids have a 4-day weekend.

"He's sick."

And, were all supposed to sleepover my parent's house.

"But, we still get to sleep over, right?"

To save time, I didn't even bother to get dressed.

"Where's Glen."

"Oh, he's home, watching pay-per-view, waiting for me, some chocolate donuts and a medium-sized coolata, DAMMIT!"

My parents didn't even bother to ask why I was still wearing my pajamas.

Morale of Story: Why, yes, I am totally full of pork chops…AND APPLESAUCE!

Stupid 4-day weekends.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

Freshly-brewed Review: Breaking the Silence of Abuse, Depression and Suicide

February 19, 2011
Saving Second Base
(A Breast Cancer eCookbook)
Because Nice Matters, Cancer Ssaćs!

Growing up, Barbara and I had a lot in common. She spoke Polish, I spoke Hungarian (close enough!) we graduated high school in 1982 and, sadly, lost touch since then.

Until…Facebook, when my laptop pinged that another high school buddy wanted to chat.

"Did you hear one of our schoolmates died?"

No, but I was pretty sure that he WAS mistaken. Had to be. Because, in my mind, I'm still 18 and, well, we're not THAT old, are we?

Then again, we aren't born with any guarantees (DAMMIT!) or "date of expiration" stamps, either (thank goodness) and, well, my own twin brother gave up a kidney (stupid cancer!) my husband and both my in-laws have faced the knife (literally) to remove squamous cells (nasty stuff) and I recently watched my SIL (my husband's oldest sister) bravely deal with a pretty bad cancer scare, last month, as I held her hand, while folks poked, prodded and generally assaulted her breasts.

So, yeah, like my friend Rachel (a.k.a. A Southern Fairytale) I am PASSIONATE about supporting cancer research and help, wherever, or whenever I can, to raise awareness, like joining her and Once A Month Mom in Saving Second Base!

(more…)

September 20, 2010
September 11, 2010
The Names Continue

Originally published for the Imperfect Parent September 11, 2008 — republished here, as the reading of the names continue — I will never forget…

(more…)

September 11, 2010
Hair of BlogHers Past

Only 14 more sleeps until BlogHer '10 and, since this IS my 4th year attending this particular blogging conference (read: proved myself to be a dork, 3 times, for REAL, already!) I feel it safe say, "WHOOT!" and admit that I am sooooooo happy I do NOT HAVE TO worry about flying, you know, in an airplane, or eleventy.

Heeeeeeello, NJTransit…it's been a while…how've ya' been, dawg?

Still, it can get sorta weird, stepping out from behind one's blog and leaving your delete button, behind (mine is broken, go figure) and, well, it's kind of hard to pass myself off as the ageless, yet brilliantly insightful and entertaining blogging ingenue….

[sound of crickets chirping]

….AM SO!…in my mind, anyway…still, BlogHer is one of the very few chances I get (if any) to hang out with some of my favorite people in the blogging community.

[Yeah, I'm looking at you, BusyMom, Jenn, SocalMom, Melisa With one S, Headless Mom, Dawn and NYCityMama, just to name a few!!!]

Also, to meet and thank past blogging partners and new business associates who I am also very proud to be able to call, friends.

[That would be you, Cooper and Emily!!!]

Because, in some weird-ish way…we HAVE become friends…who happen to agree…to disagree and like each other, anyway.

In fact, it was Melisa's post (more specifically, the above picture of us…at BlogHer 2009 in Chicago…together) that inspired me to write this one and say to ALL of you going to BlogHer, this year…HOLY CRAP!…I do NOT look like that, anymore.

In fact, looking back, I've had a completely different hairstyle, or color…every year.

That's Aimee and me at BlogHer 2008 in San Franscisco with my short (very, very short) dark-ish, HOLY CRAP, but California is a LOOOOONG way from New Jersey, look.

That's Lisa, Amber, Dana, Shannon and me at BlogHer 2007 in Chicago with my long-ish, gold-ish THANK GAWD these people don't seem to mind hanging with a dork, look.

Aaaaand, what's the look gonna be…this year?

[snicker]

Well, only 14 more sleeps and you'll find out…soon enough…besides, I wouldn't want to ruin your image of me, anymore than I have, already, maybe.

[sound of crickets chirping]

Oh…look…over there…is that something shiny?

Oh, alright…this is me at a recent family barbecue…IS TOO…just, look for me at the BlogHer 5K Fun Run/Walk…I'll be wearing the same color tutu (for Tanner) so, how do I look?

© 2010 This
Full House Blog – All Rights Reserved.

July 23, 2010