This Full House Archive

Category: Uncategorized

  • iMom, hear me snore.

    I arrived into Chicago, yesterday, and was immediately reminded of my time here during BlogHer ’07 – it really did make a world of difference – attending the BlogHer conference in July was SUCH a big step, for me.

    I hadn’t flown in 15 years and it was the first time I had ever traveled, without Garth (not his real name) and the kids.

    Those two reasons, alone, had me second-guessing myself nearly the entire trip – until, I met my roommates and I remembered that, you know, I am more than just someone’s mom, or love goddess.

    [snicker]

    Sorry, mom.

    Though, I must admit, raising four children and dealing with their growing pains ranging anywhere from allowing my 10-year-old to shave her legs, NOT allowing my 13-year-old to go to the movies with her friends, who happened to invite some boys, unless her 8-year-old brother, and I, tagged along, too and convincing my 6-year-old that we can NOT possibly be the only family, who hasn’t gone to Disney.

    [takes deep breath]

    Well, let’s just say that keeping my head, above a crowd of 800+ women, in Chicago, was a breath of fresh air – compared to the everyday stink of sour laundry – but, I had to suppress a terrible urge to introducing myself as, "Hello, my name is Liz, I’m a mom and I totally suck!"

    Doing_the_dough

    Attending BlogHer was an enlightening experience – what do ya’ mean, I’m not the only one coming out of my blog and scared witless – who knew?  I could mingle, talk about my dreams and discuss a plethora of different subjects, other than what brand of Kotex I preferred.  Unless, I wanted to.  In fact, hanging with me could actually be, I don’t know, sort of fun…right, Dana?

    To make a long story, short (I know, too late) Dana and I connected and I was very happy to learn that we would be colleagues and writing for the Imperfect Parent.

    In her latest article entitled, "Momstumes" Dana makes an interesting analogy about donning Halloween costumes and parenting, and wonders whether she is the only parent who pretends to be, someone else – especially, if it gets her through a very busy day:

    "It doesn’t stop with work. The costumes I wear at home are numerous.
    When the house is a mess, toys scattered from room to room and dishes
    in the sink, I dress up as Lucille Ball in my gingham dress, with
    scarves wrapped around my head, feather duster in hand just to tackle
    the chores."

    I know what she means – in fact, I used a similar explanation – especially, when other parents accuse me of being a "Super Mom" like they did at a birthday party Mini-me and I attended, recently.

    "I’ve just grown used to wearing a lot of different hats."

    And, sometimes they do get mixed up.

    "So,  what is This Full House?"

    Crap, here I go.

    "It’s a blog…my blog…about me being a mom…"

    [takes deep breath]

    "I’m one of the mom bloggers on the panel speaking on Wednesday."

    [eyes go wide]

    "Oh, that’s right, there’s a lot of people looking forward to meeting you!"

    Cewl…but, I had a sneaking suspicion that the woman at the reception, last night…leaning in close and reading the tag on my breast…wasn’t one of them.

    [shrugs shoulders]

    Judging by the way she brushed passed me and introduced herself to, you know, someone else – who knew?

    But, that’s okay.  I didn’t expect her to know me (I’m not that vain)  But, she will.  Soon.  If there’s anything I’ve learned, since the 4 years I’ve been blogging – especially, in the last few months – it’s that mommybloggers are NOT shy.  Most especially, if we’re approached to volunteer our opinions AND you ask, nicely.

    Chicagobed_2

    Then, make sure you have a nice, comfy place to put mommy’s frazzled and wigged-out little head – hey, Busy Mom, check out this GORGEOUS bed!

    I swear, I had to squeal and the guy next door said he heard me – apparently, I snore – now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go and get ready, change out of these granny panties (you’re welcome) and convince some people, I DON’T suck!

  • Thursday Thirteen #2: 13 Ways To Deconstructing A Pumpkin

    Ttpumpkin

    Every year, Garth (not his real name) and I look forward to that weekend in October – you know, when soccer games are finally over and Garth (not his real name) isn’t working – and head over to our favorite pumpkin patch and spend the next 90 minutes choosing the perfect "Jack," oh…what fun it is to ride in a one horse…wait, that’s not right.

    [takes deep breath]

    Sorry, after raising 4 kids and having grown used to missing all sorts of deadlines, I kind of started losing track of the holidays.

    So, without further adieu, 13 ways to de-constructing a pumpkin…without losing your mind:

    Pumpkinhatoff

    1.  First, you cut off the top of its head with a carving knife – not worrying, too much, about forgetting the stupid camera, while picking – and taking into consideration that specialized carving kits are for wussies (read:  yeah, forgot that too!) and just keep the kids in a separate room, while doing this!

    Thingtwo

    2.  Let the "oldest" one of your carving party go first – seeing as the 13-year-old decided she had, you know, better things to do – and because I SAID SO, DAMNIT!

    Minimepumpkindig

    3.  Followed by, whoever SCREAMS the loudest.

    Minimepumpinguts

    4.  TWICE, because…you know…she’s loud!

    Minimepaint

    5.  Have plenty of smaller – not to mention, a lot less messy – pumpkins, or projects around…because, all you want is quiet, DAMNIT!

    Theboyproject

    6.  To keep them away from the Gameboy stimulated and out of your hair you in the holiday spirit and just GET OVER it, already…because, there is NO way you’re getting a brother outta me, DAMMIT.

    Thingtwodigsin

    7.  And LET them use their hands…for sanity’s sake…the grosser, the better!

    Pumpkinguts

    8.  Because, it eventually ALL comes out in the…oh, my…Daddy, look…is that the puke bucket Mommy’s using…GOSH!?!?!

    Garthnothisrealname

    9.  Got news for you, kids…it’s best to keep Daddy out of this…because, Mommy works better this way and he ain’t looking!

    Doofushouse

    10.  And for the love of Christmas, yet to come, don’t forget to keep your pets from underfoot, or risk colliding head on with gravity…STUPID dog.

    Hpnx0029

    11.  Remember, if mommy’s happy…then, EVERYONE is happy!

    Pumpkindark

    12.  Even in the dark, that’s a pretty-good-looking pumpkin.

    Pumpkinblech

    13.  Before the bugs got him…that is…STUPID pumpkin!

    Hope this helps.  Happy Holidays, everyone.  The best we can hope for is to survive the next couple of weeks…with, at least, our dignities intact…oh, and try not to lose your heads… m’kay!?!?

  • East meets west and how I can’t get Chris Daughtry out of my head!

    You know that feeling you get – a cold sort of shiver that seizes
    your insides and numbs your brain – when you take the chance and
    venture out of your comfort zone, or meet new people for the very first
    time?

    Yes?  Then, perhaps you’ll understand why I haven’t slept a solid 2 hours, in 2 days.

    Preparing for this trip wasn’t easy. I mean, beyond the typical
    hassles most working parents are already aware of, like arranging for
    child care and calling in a few favors from friends and perhaps that
    elusive neighbor of yours. And not just getting over the physical (and
    emotional) part of traveling a ridiculous distance, feeling less like a
    person and more like cattle, crammed into something with very little
    leg room and suddenly seems way too narrow.

    Sheesh, ya’ think they have enough fuel to travel 3,000 miles in this thing?

    Nope, I’m talking about…having to talk…in front of a roomful of
    people who you admire…but, don’t know…in fact, they don’t know you,
    either…not really…so, you practice…because, you can’t sleep…the
    night before…and the morning of…and the guy next door is snoring,
    anyway…very loudly…omg…shut up, already…and then you finally
    think you’re ready…in fact…you look pretty good, too…you start to
    chat…make a few people laugh…nice…good way to break the ice…you
    think…and then…they ask the first question…and, then…

    Nothing.

    Yep, you know that feeling I was talking about – well, it hit me
    like a ton of bricks – I started to answer, but my nerves took over and
    my tongue decided it was better if I didn’t. You know, talk.

    "Uh…I believe that women…um…I mean, the women on the internet don’t…"

    Crap, I know this!

    "Blogging helped me to reach outside myself…um…"

    Oh…my…doG…what is up with my tongue!?!?

    "Look, I’m obviously not used to being up on
    stage…or, having ALL these lights on me…I’m saying um…and
    uh…and stuff I promised myself that I wouldn’t….way too much."

    Okay, they laughed…that’s good…keep going.

    "I don’t discuss anything in my blog that I wouldn’t
    feel comfortable talking about with friends, on my couch at home – this
    is a real as you’re going to get, folks."

    No, I wasn’t comfortable – and certainly a lot less articulate than
    I would have liked to have been – but, the reason for this whole trip
    was to introduce corporations to what it’s like, to live the days, in a
    life, of a mommyblogger.

    "Want to know who they are and what they want? What
    they don’t want? Read their blogs. Check out their "about" pages.
    They’ll spell it out for you!"

    Those were perhaps the only excerpts of the two most important
    points – one of about a dozen ramblings – that I am proud to have been
    able to have driven home.

    But, I got to meet one of my dearest online friends…Socalmom…for
    the first time…and let me just tell you, it was love at first hug –
    the BEST part of this whole trip, really – and that…my friends…is
    what blogging is all about!

    [pictures to follow, soon]

    In just a few minutes, they’re going to call to let me know that it’s time to go.

    These last few days have been amazing – my hosts have been more than
    generous with their kindness towards making me feel as comfortable, as
    possible – but, it’s time I bid farewell to the west coast and go back
    to the life I know.

    Make room on the couch, doofus-dog…I’m coming home!

  • Picture Perfect Thursday – Where sleep illudes and a little girl’s dream comes true.

    Well, I made it. It wasn’t easy. I mean, leaving my kids and trying
    to act as if I was NOT at all excited about the fact that Mommy’s going
    to Disneyland.

    “Don’t worry, Mommy’s working and probably won’t have time to have ANY fun!”

    Riiiiight – they didn’t believe me, either.
    So, I kissed them goodbye, told them that I would call to tell them
    exactly what I was doing, every minute, and spent the next 5-1/2 hours
    of being wedged in between two people, who didn’t.

    “This is my first time going to Disneyland and my kids are soooo hating me, right now.”

    [sound of crickets]

    Okaaaaaay – it was a long flight.
    As soon as I got off the plane, and saw all the palm trees – not to
    mention the mountains and nothing but totally blue sky – I knew that I
    was…you know…someplace else.

    I called the kids, from the car, and sent them a picture of the palm trees, to prove that Momma was on solid ground.

    “I miss you and cried in school…a little.”

    Ugh.

    “I know, but I’ll be home on Friday and I’ll even bring you a pretty!”

    My driver kept looking at me funny and – after taking pictures of
    the trees, the grass, the traffic signs, the inside of the car and
    promising someone a pretty, four times – I imagine he was wondering,
    just how many kids does crazy breed?

    By the time we got to the hotel, I had pretty much used up all of
    the memory on my camera phone – oh gosh, I hope I packed my charger!
    Oh, well.

    So, we went out to dinner, last night and – how I managed to keep my
    face out of the sturgeon, I’ll never know – I have to tell you, being
    here at Disneyland feels as if I’ve been whisked away to an enchanted
    world of lights, music and the smell of something sticky-sweet.

    Phew…what is that?

    I kept telling Gretchen – my new bff and resident Disney historian – how, I can’t keep from giggling like an enamored school girl.

    I swear, this place brings out the kid in me (not a terribly
    difficult feat, from what I’ve been told) and I had to stop myself from
    skipping…once, or twice!

    Then, I saw it.

    Cinderella’s castle – sitting there looking all princess-like lit up in pink and purple – and me without my camera phone!

    Cinderellacastle

    “Oh…my…doG…Mini-me is NOT going to believe this.”

    Gretchen?

    Okay, I guess I need to learn how to stop boring people (I know, too late) still.

    “I can email this to you, right now, if you want!”

    That’s when I was reminded why I just HAD to take this trip and
    realized the reason I love my job, so much – I get to meet the coolest
    people – and Gretchen took this amazing picture (hence, the bff) and
    made a little princess, very happy.

    Oh, and Mini-me’s going to love it, too…I’m sure.

  • Tackle It Tuesday: Flying Fearless, Finding My Song and You Know I Should Be Dancing…sort of!

    In less than 24 hours, I am about to embark on one of the greatest
    adventures of my life – since becoming a mom, anyway – and I’m excited
    (AND grateful) to have been invited to attend Disney’s Corporate
    Alliance Meeting in Anaheim, California.

    Yes, you heard right, they “asked me” to speak on a panel of mom
    bloggers about marketing to moms on the web and I am perhaps just as
    surprised as you are…if not, more. Though, it’s not like I haven’t
    flown alone…or, across country…to meet, greet, speak and eat with total strangers…alone, before…did I mention that I will be traveling ALONE!?!?

    This week’s challenge is HUGE – totally nerve-racking, actually –
    yep, it’s time to come out from behind the blog and show the “real me!”

    I mean, attending BlogHer ‘07 is an experience that I won’t soon forget – unlike, closing the car windows on a rainy day – but, I had a gaggle of beautiful women to hide stand behind with and was too busy totally crushing on a couple of blogging rockstars, you know, the moms who really know how to work-it, to worry about my 5′ 10″ self standing out, too much.

    I imagine that many people would say that pulling a bunch of women together – especially, bloggers – and providing them with a beautiful venue,
    a microphone and “asking them” to share their opinions, is like
    throwing a dead fish into a crowd of starving cats; you’re going to
    hear it.

    [cringe]

    Okay – that may NOT have been the best analogy – but, you get it…right?

    Although, motherhood is nothing new (my ancestors have been doing it
    for years and some have even birthed their babies in the middle of a
    field, more than once) there are a lot of folks who still don’t
    understand what it is really like to be a mother. Hell, I’m still
    learning as I go. And that’s okay. At least, their asking. That’s what
    this trip is about and why this conference is so important, too.

    Yes, I’m going to Chicago at the end of the month…AGAIN…and speaking, as well!

    We are way passed the days of comparing recipes and cleaning tips
    over the garden fence, people and for most women (especially,
    stay-at-home moms and quasi-dorks, like me) coming into such a
    professional-looking forum is virgin territory – pardon the pun – my
    palms are sweaty, my stomach’s a little queasy and I’m breaking out in
    festering little pustules (you’re welcome!) like you would NOT believe.

    Just like the first time, only different.

    So, today…I’m tackling a whole bunch of nerves (no, I have NOT gotten over…um…the flying,
    thing) ignoring a to do list about a bazillion miles long and battling
    some serious guilt over leaving Garth (not his real name) home with the
    kids, as mommy goes and plays with the big kids…AGAIN!

    But, this time, there’s no hiding.

    I’ll be sitting on a stage.  Hopefully, NOT too close to my co-panelists (Jeez, but these women are brilliant and gorgeous…DAMMIT) and looking at about a hundred strangers…looking at me…represent, baby!

    “Holy crap, what was I thinking?”

    Garth (not his real name) just sat there and listened to me go
    on…and on (sort of like, now) and then…when, I was finally forced to
    take a breath…he said the sweetest thing to me.

    “Shut up, already!”

    [eyes go wide]

    “What was that thing…you know…the trick you learned at BlogHer?”

    Why, I don’t remember there being a magician, or anything?

    “Oh, wait…yeah…I forgot!”

    I attended a luncheon with Gail Blanke (I love her column in Real Simple)
    she is a wonderful motivational speaker, and gorgeous in person as
    well, DAMMIT, and she referenced an article she’d written (which, I had
    read and also loved) about finding your song – something that gets you
    moving – and then singing it.

    Mine?

    You know what…I dunno. You know me better than anybody. What song
    best describes me? My husband Garth (not his real name) thinks that I
    should definitely stay away from ANYTHING, you know, too disco –
    although, you know I should be dancing! – and NO Freebird, please!

    My life has turned into a major roller coaster – more than usual, I
    mean – and, though I don’t know where it will all lead to, for now, I’m
    just going to enjoy the ride.

    [cue announcer]

    “Liz, you’ve just been handed your head on a silver platter…what are you going to do…NOW?”

    [brushing bangs out of eyes]

    I’m going to Disney Land!

    [re-enter, real life]

    But, not before running a gazillion errands (that’s way more than a
    bazillion, btw) including, but NOT limited to, food shopping, after
    school pick-ups, car pooling drop-offs, printing off a few more
    business cards (’cause, ya’ never know) and sewing a bunch of Girl
    Scout badges onto Mini-me’s brownie vest, seeing as she has her first
    meeting…um…this afternoon!

    Wish me luck!

  • Thursdays Thirteen – is the new Fourteen Random Things – at our house, anyways.

    Jinkies, I’ve been tagged by Dana and I’ve been jonesing to join in on Believer’s pet peeves – not to mention, I’ll do anything to avoid thinking about gut rot, or looking at this – so, here ya’ go!
    Seven pet peeves I’ve discovered, since last Thursday:

    1.  The phrase, "It is, what it is." – To which I answer, "Yes, but it can ALWAYS be better…damnit!"

    2.  Rude customer service people – Look, I’ve serviced plenty of customers in my time…for more years than I’d care to remember, really…I know what you’re thinking…trust me…but, would it kill you to at least ACT like you care…and that your job actually depended on the fact that I am NOT happy…oh, and for the love of Garth…would you please, STOP popping your gum, already!

    3.  Hotel key cards that don’t work – Because I am clumsy, a dork AND technically challenged; ‘nuf said!

    4.  Drivers who refuse to use their directionals – Yes, you’ve got one and should NOT be afraid to use it, or face the wrath of my evil eye and I AM part Gypsy, you know!

    5.  Disgusting displays of road rage – Showing me your middle finger will NOT make me inclined to go any faster and if you insist on driving that far up my butt, at least have the courtesy of allowing me to pull over and introduce ourselves, properly!

    6.  People who stare – Say hello, or show me the booger, already!

    7.  People who refuse to be the first ones to say, you know, hello – Begging your pardon, your majesty, but…um…our kids have been terrorizing each other for years and I know where you live; you ain’t all that!

    7 random things I really don’t hate:

    1.  I don’t really hate doing the laundry – With my new washer and dryer I was able to get through seven loads, yesterday; it’s the folding and the putting away that can take days.  Makes for nice extra seating space, though.

    2.  I don’t really hate being a mom – I just don’t love it…every…flipping…minute…of…my…life, is all.

    3.  I don’t really hate my breasts, or Facebook – I just don’t like how I feel about them, at the moment.

    4.  I don’t really hate bugs – I despise them!

    5.  I don’t really hate it when my husband and I argue – As long as there’s lots of kissing and heavily making up, after.

    6.  I don’t really hate to hear my kids complain – It means that they are exercising their right to speak their minds and that I am still listening.

    7.  I don’t really hate my dog – Not today, anyway.

    Anyone up for the challenge, feel free to clean off a chair, sit down and tell me what irks you (or, not) the most about this week.
    Next week:  I’ll be coming late into an Autumn Swap, jumping back into girl scouts, sweating it out in soccer, basking in my imperfections, making some more travel arrangements and getting over gut rot!
    I hope.

  • Forgive her, Lord for she is from the North and knows not what to do with her hands!

    It’s day 3 of Garth’s (not his real name) and my adventure into the deep south (okay, as far as I’ve ever been able to git) and  I’m happy to report that we HAVE managed to work AND travel together (without the kids) AND talk about, you know, all sorts of stuff.
    Other than the kids, I mean.
    .
    In fact, my husband says I’m ALL talk and don’t be fooled into thinking that we do NOT miss our children – I’ve called them before school, after and at bedtime…everyday – but, we’ve been at this parenting thing for quite a while (more years than we can remember, really…the memory IS the first to go) and leaving the children doesn’t affect Garth (not his real name) as much as being able to talk to other grown-ups, does me.

    "Ya’ll here on bin-ness?"

    Yes, I mean no.

    "Actually, my husband is and I’m sort of…well…yes and…"

    I stopped talking, first (for once) before realizing that I had inadvertently placed my hand on her shoulder and then started stroking the woman’s arm.

    "…um…I’m here researching the area and sort of trying to get a feel for the place."

    I also told her that we live in New Jersey, that my parents are from Eastern Europe and how I really do NOT know what to do with my hands!

    "I’m originally fruuuuuum Jersey, too!"

    So, I’m NOT the only one susceptible to picking up speech patterns, huh!?!?

    "How long you here?"

    [smiles broadly]

    "Oh, quite a few yuhs now!"

    Okay, I’m just quicker at it – thinking, not so much.

    "What do ya’ll do?"

    [blank stare]

    "Well, I’m a full-time mom and I write part-time about, you know, stuff."

    Uh-huuuuuuuh.

    "Not like, there’s any such thing as a part-time mom, or anything."

    Riiiiiiight.

    "Oh, here’s Helene NOW!"

    One of the other things I wanted to do – besides, try to listen to what Garth (not his real name) says and NOT totally freak out the English-speaking population of North Carolina – was look up my long-time blogging friend over at Adventures in Parenting.

    "Relax, just be yourself."

    Easy enough for Garth (not his real name) to say!

    "Hi, it’s me!"

    I smiled, waved my hands wildly and promptly placed them at my sides…so, as to not freak out another mommyblogger.

    "I’m sorry, but I can’t believe you’re here and I have this terrible need to hug you!"

    But, you can’t blame us for being absolutely thrilled to finally meet each other, IN PERSON!

    "I’ve been following you and your family…for…YEARS!"

    I introduced Garth (not his real name) to Helene (go over and see our pretty picture) and later thanked him for being such a good sport about…well…EVERYTHING!

    "That’s okay, it’s hard NOT to be friendly around you, even though you ARE nothing but a bunch of blogging freaks!"

    Maybe so, maybe so…BUT…hey, Helene knows more about me than anybody and she’s originally from Wisconsin!

  • Forgive her Lord, for she is from the North and knows not the menu!

    Well, we’ve made it – the better part of two days drive and 640 miles, later – and I do believe that I am absolutely in lust with nearly everyone I have met here in North Carolina, thus far.

    "Hyalldointday?"

    What?

    "Kinygit…ya’ll?"

    Here’s the thing – I’m not trying to be fresh, or anything – growing up with Hungarian parents, in an extremely ethnic neighborhood and surrounded by more cultures than a pediatrician can wave a stick at, especially during cold and flu season – yes, even she’s from…you know…somewhere else – the kids and I have grown accustomed to hearing, and have no problem understanding, people who, you know, talk funny.

    "Um…hi…uh…um…your earrings are very pretty!"

    Can I just tell you, the woman never even batted an eyelash…but, she did start talking a whole heck of a lot slower, all of a sudden!

    "Well, aren’t yooooooou jest theeeeeee niiiiiiicest, most sweeeeeeest, liiiiiitle thaaaaaaang!"

    And then she pulled up a chair and sat down.

    "Waaaaaaar ya’ll fruuuuuuum?"

    I told her that my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I were visiting from Jersey.

    "Aaaaaaaand, he left ya’ll to diiiiiiine byer-self?"

    Yes…I mean…no…not really.

    "Well, he’s travelin’ on bin-ness."

    I mean, business.

    "And I’m sorta, yah-know, workin’ from our hotel rooooooom?"

    It’s about now when I realized that my speech pattern seemed to be changing and that my tongue had taken on a life of it’s own.

    "Aaaaaaand, this is the fust tiiiiiiime I’ve had to muh-self…without the keeeeeeeds…in a dawg’s age!"

    She gave be this sort of…uhhhhhhh-huh…sort of nod, but never stopped smiling.

    "Where’d ya’ll saaaaaaay, ya’ll fruuuuuuum?"

    [without missing a beat]

    "Suh-thun New Jersey!"

    Oh my doG, but we laughed and laughed.
    [wiping eyes]

    "Kinygit…ya’ll?"

    Blank stare.
    "Uhhhhhhh-huh…and um…I looooooove your glasses, too!"
    It’s okay, she finally figured out that I was feeling pretty uncomfortable – apparently, a lot of Southerners have a hard time understanding us, too – and my new best friend, Pauleen (or, Pow-leen) was kind enough to order, for me:

    • fried catfish
    • dumplings in (white) gravy
    • corn
    • turnip greens
    • fried apples
    • homemade raspberry iced tea

    Oh…my…LORD…but, I do believe they’ve turned my Yankee heart…um…do ya’ll don’t have a baseball team, or anything?
    Riiiiiiight.
    Anyhow, while Garth is busy networking his buns off, I’m meeting up with the locals and looking forward to getting to know all there is to know about…um…ya’ll – if anyone needs me, I’ll be in downtown Charlotte…shopping…and crushing on some street vendor…HARD…no doubt!

  • She’s sort of nice from Monday thru Friday…then, on Saturday, out comes the beast!

    If you where to ask me – hey, you! – what my favorite day of the week happens to be, I would have to answer…um…what day is it, today and…uh…any day I can get out of bed…without my head hurting and my eyes bleeding puss…or, tripping over a 90 pound dog in an attempt to avoid the cat poop (don’t ask) and the kids are NOT sick…well, heck-fart and happy birthday…today just HAS got to be a good one, right!?!?

    I mean, Thing Two’s fever finally did BREAK – after peaking at a balmy 105.2 degrees fahrenheit – but, NOT before enduring copious amounts of warm showers, cool presses and steaming hot mugs of mommy’s homemade chicken soup, served up on a bed of crisp clean sheets and surrounded by her favorite stuffed animals.

    Thank you for your kind thoughts!

    Unfortunately, it DID take the entire four-day-weekend (happy belated Rosh Hashanah, y’all) in between running back (and forth) to school for soccer pictures (in the rain) and playing two soccer games (in the wet) at two different times, of course!

    Which means?

    [stops typing and does the math]

    Running back (and forth) with Mini-me and The Boy (who requested a new pseudo-name and now formerly known as, Little Man) a total of five times and losing NOT just a soccer game…nuh-uh!…but, my keys…yuh-huh!…and my abilities of speech and hearing…whuh?…not to mention, my shiny new outlook and believing that, you know, I ACTUALLY know what I’m doing.

    "Grab it…GRab it…GRAb it…GRAB it…GO AHEAD AND GRAB IT, ALREADY!"

    The Boy was playing goalie – YIKES! – and he leaped on the ball, as if it was the last piece of coffee cake on a Sunday morning, just like I taught him to!

    "Um…he can’t come out of the box and…uh…just so you know…that’s not YOUR Son!"

    [blank stare]

    "Well, heck-fart and happy birthday, we just got ourselves a throw in…go red!"

    Stupid soccer!
    Then Sunday came, Thing Two was feeling much better and no one else got sick…[knock on wood]…and we were able to keep our plans of visiting with family, but Thing One was feeling out of sorts (she’s not very fond of Aunt Flo, either!) and I got to do it…all…over…again!

    "Here’s your cup of tea, Sweetie…it’s Vanilla Chai…your favorite, right…and a nice, big piece of banana bread!"

    Because I am "the mommy" and it happens to be what we mommies (and daddies) do best!

    [breaks into a big grin]

    I bet you wanna know how I’m feeling all bouncy, right?

    [quivers eyebrows and smiles]

    Why, it’s Monday…of course…and I don’t think that there could possibly be another mother (or, father) happier, right now (besides Jamie, I mean)  simply because, well…um…there are NO children home…sick…at the moment and NO soccer games scheduled for next weekend and…uh…wait…what was the question?

    But, guess what?

    No, I’m NOT pregnant…[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]…but, the hubs and I are going away (I know…what, again?!?) and this time it’s strictly business.  Garth (not his real name) has some bank-like thing he has to go to and wants me to go…um…too.
    However, I’m not actually allowed attend the bank-like thing (that’s okay, there’s internet and a Panera’s nearby…HEE-HAW!) and I’ve already planned on working in a scouting expedition of Charlotte, North Carolina.
    Thanks, to Grandma, Grandpa and the world’s best Aunt…EVUH!…oh, and there are at at least two other people I’d like to mention, before I go.

    Believer in Balance and I were roommates at BlogHer and she still thinks I’m nice – can you believe it?

    Niceaward
    "This award is for those bloggers who are nice people; good blog friends and those who inspire good feelings and inspiration.  Also for those who are a positive influence on our blogging world.
    "

    Absolutely Bananas and I met at BlogHer and gave me a blogging award, anyway – for being a beast?

    Donkeybuttaward

    The THIS BLOG KICKS DONKEY BUTT award – for blogs that rock your world. Hard.

    Now, I have GOT to tie up a few more loose ends (like, making sure there are enough clean towels and that there’s food in the house) and then it’s off to the balmy beaches of North Carolina…um…I mean…I think, it’s hot there…and they have sand, right…um…what was the question?

    Why, yes we’re driving the entire 10+ hours and Aunt Flo WILL BE traveling with us…of course!

  • September 11, 2001 – The Names

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    I’m guest-blogging for my dear friend, Dana – join me at The Dana Files in remembering September 11, 2001 – The Names.