This Full House Archive

Category: So, You From Joisey?

Easy, Breezy, Pinot Gris-y

In between earthquakes and hurricane warnings (what a week we're having, Jersey, eh?) my husband, Garth (NHRN) and I celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary and had an awesome dinner with my in-laws, last night!

I tried to keep the conversation light (thanks to 2 Mojitos and an awesome glass of Pinot Gris) alas, my husband's boyscout powers, along with the category 2 hurricane and extreme flood warnings, had been activated early in the day.

"You guys have everything you need?"

My in-laws are both in their 80's (but, you STILL look good Mom!) and, well, let's just say that they didn't seem very worried about the weather.

"Ah-yup."

Still, I told them that the kids and I were going to go down to check on my folks (they live about 15 miles inland from Seaside Heights) then, I would stop by their house (my in-laws live about 10 minutes away from us) to help secure stuff and drop off a case of bottled water.

"I don't expect there'd be a problem."

My father-in-law is from New England, enough said.

"But, you want to be able to have coffee!"

I mean, seriously, you really have to wonder about some people's priorities.

"Category 2 hurricane and you're worried about coffee?"

I'm sure the table behind us MUST have heard the muscles in my neck snap, as I whipped my head in my husband's direction (I mean, my neck STILL hurts a little) seriously, he's lived with me for 21 years.

"Maybe coffee would help make them worry about it, you know, less."

Okay, at this point, I realize that it sounded as if I was being beaten by the stoopid stick.

It's not every day you experience an earthquake AND a hurricane in the same week.

I stood my ground.

"This way, you have water, all you have to do is just fire up your Keurig and you're good to go."

Wait for it.

"That's actually a great idea.

Wait. For. It.

"Iffffffff, they had electricity!"

AHEM.

"How about those Giants?"

[blink, blink]

"They're actually going to go ahead and play the Jets."

[sound of crickets]

"You know, on Saturday?!?"

[heavy sigh]

"Sure, I'll have another glass of wine, thanks!"

All I'm saying is, thank goodness, I married a boyscout….stupid Irene!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

August 26, 2011
I Felt the Earth Move Under My Buttocks

As you may (or, may not) have heard (or, even care, considering other more important stuff, like, oh, I don't know, preparing for a hurricane, or something) we had a bit of excitement the other day when the earth "Pfffftttt" here in Jersey.

All east coast jokes aside (seriously, I'm from Jersey, we're used to it) what I can tell you is this, I was already sitting on the floor and did NOT panic (at first) thinking:

a) I was helping the girls clean out their closet and, well, it's a lot like playing Jenga, only different.

b) The washing machine was running at the time and I may (or, may not) have overloaded the sucker (again!)

c) A truck busted open that stupid sink hole down the street, or the watermain broke (or, both!)

d) Our house is old, it farts (a lot!)

Until, I saw my oldest girl's eyes go wide (LIKE THIS!) and watched one of their cubbies shimmy, back and forth, like J-Lo (in slow motion) did I feel the floor ripple under me.

PANIC!!!!!

All west coast sensibilities, aside (seriously, I get it!) the rest of the kids and I met in the living room and it wasn't because we thought it was an earthquake, at first.

"Is the house falling down?"

It is at this very moment, when I realized, that ALL those years of my joking about the house…falling down around our ears…pretty much bit me right in the buttocks.

Literally AND figuratively speaking, dagnabit.

P.S. Many thanks to all my west coast friends on Facebook and Twitter for their patience in helping me explain to my kids how the earth typically doesn't, "Pfffftttt," like that, here in Jersey.

P.P.S. My 10 year-old finally DID manage to put her feet down on the floor, rather than walk her way around the house, on top of the furniture.

P.P.P.S. Yo, Irene…BITE ME!!!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

Freshly-brewed elsewhere: Allstate Good Hands Roadside Assistance Program Recap where I get to share a $50 Amazon gift card. Also, had fun filming this video with the Minute Clinic folks at BlogHer.

August 24, 2011
Traveling With Teens and Tweens and That Annoying 20-Something Couple!

Traveling with younger kids is hard, trust me, I know. My minivan has battle scars — not to mention, unidentifiable stains, which will stay that way, because, seriously, I don't even want to know and I'm STILL finding petrified food c. 2006 — to prove it!

Driving, now that my kids are ALL in double-digits, however, and being stuck in traffic, for half the trip (seriously, Connecticut?) can make even the most level-headed, easy-going, and emotionally-balanced parent go all mental.

"Would you PLEASE stop talking and put some noodles into your mouth, or something!"

Then again, I don't remember ever having THIS much fun with them, at the beach, when they were little and, quite frankly, I was probably more concerned about counting heads than making with the crane.

Me and Sue of As Cape Cod Turns

Or, being able to make last minute dinner plans with bloggers, who I now have the extreme priviledge of being able to call out as good friends who, after asking:

"Are ALL your kids with you?"

Then learn:

"Yes, ALL my kids are here, with us, right here, staying in this one room…[clears throat]…I'll bring the wine!"

And STILL, you know, seem to want us to bring our kids.

Oh and shopping. While, my husband, Garth (not his real name) and the manchild patiently wait as the rest of us go shopping.

Also, eating in restaurants. Although, 5 out of 6 of us aren't allowed to order off the kids menu, anymore and, well, we don't go out all that often. But, when we do, it's a treat.

"DAMN…that's a lot of kids!"

Yeah, uh-uh, as if I've never heard THAT before. Still. We stopped at a sushi place halfway home and there was an obnoxious 20-something couple sitting behind us and by obnoxious, I mean that even my 10 year-old was all like…EWWW…he's eating her ear!

"Hahahahaha, riiiiiiight, and they're taking them ALL home, with 'em!"

I kid you not. The kids and Garth (not his real name) were already out the door and I was all, like, huh?!? Aaaaaand, the fact that he used her as his own private little (okay, not so little) sushi table, way better, right?!?

"Why didn't you say something, mom?"

Honestly, I was too busy, trying to figure out what their story was and, well, would it have really mattered, anyway, if I had?!?

"Because, all of his brains are obviously in her breasts and they wouldn't have understood me, anyway."

SNORT!!!

"Yeah, also, if the Apocalypse happens, we could use those puppies as flotation devices!"

Aaaaand, oh, how we laughed and laughed.

Gosh, but I love traveling with older kids and someone should really consider banning obnoxious 20-something-year-olds at restaurants.

Or, at least, prohibit them from procreating! I kid. Sort of.

Also, it's sort of nice to have another licensed driver in the house, who can take over and give daddy and/or mommy a much needed break, if need be.

When and if ever she wakes up, of course!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

August 1, 2011
Feeling Hot, HOt, HOT!

Seems like only yesterday, we were ALL complaining about the cold, or the cataclysmic aftermath of Snowpocalpyse 2011 and our not being able to get to CVS, before running out of milk and/or coffee, am I right?!?

[sound of crickets, chirping]

Riiiiiiight!!!

Welcome to Humidaggedon 2011, my friends, where makeup and the use of combustible hair products is optional (albiet, ill-advised) because, MEH, why bother, right?

Breathing is hard enough.

In fact, it's going to be Africa-hot, for the next few days (here in Jersey, anyway) and, well, looks as if my husband, Garth (not his real name) picked a really great weekend to start his summer vacation.

The pool needs cleaning.

No, seriously, we don't have any concrete plans, the pool really does need a good cleaning and the irony of my going away, to attend BlogHer, the following week (of course roundtrip SHEESH!) is lost on no one…most especially, my kids.

"Why can't we just go with you, Moooooooooooooom?"

Speaking of concrete:

Because, I am ALL about having fun and, besides, the kids were SO BORED (how bored were they?)

"Hey, you guys, grab a couple of eggs and meet me outside!"

Hope and Glen each grabbed an egg from the fridge, without question!

[sound of crickets, spontaneously-combusting]

Okay, so our little Humidaggedon Project was a total fail. Still. Trust me when I tell you 37 seconds was about all we could stand, outside, before their sneakers fused to the sidewalk, or worrying about mommy's hair spontaneously-combusting, too.

Until, the sun goes down and the pool gets cleaned…or not…because, at this point, a little bit of green water isn't going to hurt anybody [cough, cough] and I'm just too gosh-darned hot (and tired) to argue.

Outdoor exposure should be limited, don't you know?

"Let's see who could swim to that patch of algae, the fastest, ready?!?"

Man, but these kids are going to miss me.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

July 22, 2011
This One Time, At Camp Poopy

Kids are on spring break, this week (note to spring: feel free to show up, anytime, now, thanks) and Hope, who has been looking forward to staying with her godparents, to work their iris farm, ran from the car, suitcase in hand and excitedly announced her arrival.

"I'm ready to spread manure!"

Yes, the kid loves nature THAT MUCH and I am not even kidding, when I tell you, it's ALL that we, her teacher, the kids in her class, our next door neighbor and the mail carrier, have been hearing about, for weeks.

Unlike her older sisters, she is not afraid to get dirty and I tease my son that she is actually a lot like what I imagine having a younger brother would be like, too.

Much to the delight of her godmother, who raised two boys and also happens to be a little bit crunchy…even before crunchy was cool…and often joked about not knowing what to do with a girl.

So, in my eyes, it sort of fits that fate bring these two together and, truth be told, makes my heart feel a little squishy, knowing that, when all else fails (i.e. my attempting to convince some therapist that my youngest daughter's childhood wasn't really all that bad) Hope will remember this one time, at Pittsgrove Farms.

When she helped spread manure and really, really liked it. Actually, I'm not sure what is on her hands and was, at the time, reassured by her godfather that they're really not going to make the kid spread manure…shhhhh…but, don't tell her, okay?

"Aunt Cheryl made applesauce pancakes, this morning!"

Uh-oh.

"You lucky goose!"

Wait for it.

"Mom made us ALL eat granola."

Yes, but we're having waffles…for brinner!!!

Note to spring: don't bother, I got this!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

April 20, 2011
Be Kind 2 Earth Day: So, You From Joisey?

We are big time supporters of the National Wildlife Federation (yes, we have wildlife…in Jersey!) my kids have been reading Your Big Back Yard and Ranger Rick for years (thank you, Grandma and Grandpa) so, I was very honored to partner with the NWF as a Founding Mother of their Be Out There campaign.

Why?

Contrary to what other people may have told you (if you're not from Jersey) there are some very pretty places to visit here (YES, in New Jersey) and no, I am not even kidding.

Okay, but why SO defensive?

My parents immigrated from Hungary (my father was 19 and my mother was 14, younger than my oldest girls, by the way) and worked very, very hard to make a home for our family, here in Jersey.

Even in retirement, working the land and cultivating their tiny piece of the American dream to the point where they are both barely able to walk, my parents remain passionate about teaching their grandchildren to respect the earth…EVERY DAY!

Morale of the Story: This is MY home. My kids live here. This is their legacy. Trash our state and I will go all Hungarian on your behind.

Want to help?

My friends Cooper and Emily of TheMotherhood.com have just launched a cool Earth Day inspired digital campaign with the National Wildlife Federation and Nickelodeon, enlisting bloggers in every state to help spread the word about B Kind 2 Earth Day:

The initiative is simple: promise to do one nice thing for the Earth on April 22nd — a "like" for the B Kind 2 Earth page equals a promise.

It's been a looooooooong (and HARD!) winter and the kids are on spring break, next week (FINALLY!!!) so, as a BK2 Leader representing New Jersey, I'm calling all you's out (YO!) to do, or say something nice about our home state.

Like, we promised to unplug, go outside and help our 104 year-old neighbor clean up her yard.

Also, doing the same along any of the beaches, walking paths and hiking paths we'll be visiting and generally just helping out around the house during our annual staycation with my parents, next week.

So, you from Joisey?

Go "like" the B Kind 2 Earth page, and let's show everyone how kick-butt New Jersey is by adding to the state participation count…YO!!!

Any-uh-yuhs got a problem witdat?

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

April 15, 2011
Wordless Wednesday:
It’s Muh-thuh-nay-chuh!

Okay, so maybe April showers bring May flowers…

…but, here in Jersey, it's raining like a muh-thuh, no big deal, yo, we're sorta used to experiencing all four seasons, in just one week.

Happy Spummerfallter!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

Want to play along? Check out Wordless Wednesday HQ and 5 Minutes for Mom then feel free to link up and join in on the fun!

April 6, 2011
Where the Earth Meets the Sky
(YES, in Jersey!)

When my kids were younger, I used to love to take them to Monmouth Battlefield State Park and not because it's just down the road from the best gosh-darned apple cider donuts made in New Jersey, either.

Although, I do not miss those double-stroller days (okay, maybe just a little) I was a bit taken aback by bittersweet moments (okay, more like suffering a major heart squeeze) as they each fondly remembered the museum to be a little, you know, bigger.

I felt the same way (sort of) but, for many different reasons…four of them, to be exact.

Still, it was a good day and there's something about the openness of "the battlefield" that makes my kids want to go all, you know, feral.

To run free. Unrestrained and out of focus, yet knowing that they are well protected from the highways, that run within a stone's throw, on either side.

Oh, I'm not saying that every day is this pretty, or promise that the road ahead isn't filled with tons of goose poop, either.

There was this one time, however, on the battlefield, when we found the exact spot where the earth meets the sky.

And, well, I just love that, you know?

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

April 4, 2011
Sundays in My City:
Springtime at the Jersey Shore

I love this time of year, here in on the Jersey coast, when my kids and I feel very lucky to have quick access to some of the prettiest beaches, like our favorite at the Gateway National Recreation Area in Sandy Hook, NJ.

The parking lot fills up pretty quick in the summer. Friday, however, was the perfect day to celebrate all the good things that living in a shore town has to offer.

Like, exploring the jetty.

Or, playing chicken with the breakwater.

Getting lost, for hours, hunting for sea glass and mermaid toe nails.

Having the beach, all to ourselves, is a luxury and a perfect time for private contemplation.

Aaaand, much silliness.

Yes, Friday was a good day. In fact, seeing how this weekend is going, I'm still there…lalalalalalalalala!

Happy Sunday!!!

To see other scenes from around the world, check out Unknown Mami’s Sundays in My City.

Oh, and feel free to clean off a chair, sit down and visit my Flickr photostream.

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

Freshly-Brewed Review & Also Sharing: Staples MiniMate Shredder

March 20, 2011
I’m not over the hill — I’m just
stuck in a sand dune, or something!

This weekend, we were invited to stay with dear friends in Cape May where the kids and I got to hike through, up and over perhaps some of the biggest sand dunes, here, in Jersey!

The view from the top was breath-taking and totally worth the burning thighs and near-to-exploding ovaries (stupid midlife!) and, yet, the day was filled with bittersweet moments of regret, too.

I was sorry that my husband had to work (someone has too, right?) and missed our ode to Ralph Macchio.

Good thing my 15yo takes awesome photographs (not to mention, gives good glare) and, well, maybe I should just let her keep the frigalicious camera [one beat, two beats] naaaaah, I mean, really, learning how to share stuff is what we do best, here at Casa de Sticky Floors and Crunchy Feet.

This capture of my youngest daughter, however, made me realize just how GROWN these kids insist on, you know, growing.

Me, too. UGH! Then again, we hiked 4 miles on this day. Besides, after 17 years of raising kids and killer dust bunnies, well, life has a way of catching up on a person, everywhere.

Sort of like this cool light bulb I found; a little grazed on top and all rusty on the bottom (you're welcome!)

Yes, alright, I admit it, I'm old(ish) slightly overdone and perhaps a wee bit passed my freshness date, than your average blogging mom…I mean.

[borrows glare from 15yo]

I am, however, also very happy (AM SO!) especially, since the kids and I seem to be able to enjoy each others company.

Dare I say, even a little more, now, than when they were babies, maybe, because I'm not so worried about counting heads, or chasing after them, at the beach?

Aaaaand, okay, maybe my baby days ARE over (light bulb, rusted) but, my job, here, is far from done, my friend, and well, I'm just glad I remembered to pack my comfy sneakers.
And, maybe a snack…also, a cell phone…so, I can google the nearest bathroom…stupid beach, dumbass bladder!

© 2003 – 2011 This Full House

March 7, 2011