This Full House Archive

Category: Sick Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down

Secretly, Secret Vlog

Secretly, Secret Vlog from Liz Thompson on Vimeo.

This is what happens, when you go to work and one of your kids "accidentally" finds your Flip camera and attempts to video tape one of her sisters "not on purpose," of course!

[snort]

Such drama, eh? Love that she mentions my blog:

"Do you think I survived, or do you think I died (i.e. she got busted and her sister killed her) leave your answer on ThisFullHouse.com!"

Can't wait to see what happens during their summer break, if it EVER gets here, I mean!

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 7, 2010
Less Cancer, More Birthdays!
Today is MY birthday (never mind, which one!) and, in celebration of the 17th Anniversary of my 29th birthday (there, I said it!) I have partnered with the American Cancer Society's Choose Campaign (unpaid) by hosting a special giveaway on my shopping blog (ditto) to
help shine the spotlight on a sobering statistic:

One in three women will get cancer in her lifetime.

Considering my twin brother, Steve (yes, his REAL name) has been battling cancer for a few years, now (AND WINNING!)
I am committed to finding and sharing ways in which women can lead a healthier lifestyle.

Especially, moms like me – I mean, we do tend to put our children's needs first, right?

So, in lieu of sending me birthday presents (ahem) I thought it would be nice to do something special, right here, on my blogger-with-children-who-does-not-blog-about-her-children-mostly-type-um-blog.

[sound of crickets chirping]

So, in honor of my older brother (by 3 minutes, still, older than me) Steve:
- For every comment I receive on this post (because, you know, some folks STILL read blogs) I will donate $1.00 of what I've saved through BlogHerAds, this year (up to $100) to the American Cancer Society.
[NOTE: I would be THRILLED with the usual 3 comments — thankyouverymuch — but, feel free to pass the word along; I am donating the whole shuh-bang, anyway!]

I will leave comments open for 1 week (because, I know that you are busy) and then post a copy of my donation receipt.

Why?

Because, it's My birthday, being nice matters and cancer sucks wet poodle (der!) oh, and Happy Birthday, mah bruh-thuh!

© 2010 This Full House Blog

UPDATED TO ADD: COPY OF DONATION RECEIPT IS HERE — THANK YOU!!!
May 28, 2010
Lost and Found

To think, this mommy/daughter mugging for the camera moment was nearly lost, forever!

Last week, I wrote about how we hit the road and drove to Cape May for the weekend (yes, even the Doofus-Dawg seemed excited about his first road trip) and I did promise you pictures, to prove that Jersey is NOT all what you see outside your window, flying over Newark Airport (seriously, dude, we ARE called the garden state) but, my middle girl hid her camera from me, because I broke mine and, you know, she's smart like that.

"You can't use my camera."

Gosh, but some 14 year-olds can get very touchy about using their stuff, right?

"Why not?"

Sheesh, I only wanted to grab the memory card and already promised NOT to touch anything else.

"Because, I lost it."

Now, I could've reprimanded Heather for being forgetful, or acting irresponsibly with her stuff, but, well, it would be sort of like talking to myself, really.

"Lost what?"

Gosh, but some almost 9 year-olds can get very nosey about stuff, right?

"Never mind."

Now that ALL the laundry from the trip is done (almost) STILL no camera.

"Quick…take MY picture next!"

I was telling someone at school how upset Heather was (about losing her camera, I mean) and…wait a minute…what the?

"Who's camera is that?"

Long story short (you're welcome!) my youngest daughter found Heather's camera shoved into the pocket behind the driver's seat in the minivan and, well, thank goodness for nosey little almost 9 year-olds!

"Hey, I found it FIRST!"

Wanna see other moments nearly lost?

(more…)

May 24, 2010
Distorted, No Editing Required

Cross-posted at our 365 Day Project, taken with my cell phone, because my camera is borked.

I broke my camera [pause for a moment of silence] it's sitting on the sideboard in our kitchen, right where I left it, after realizing that I could not get it to work, no matter how hard I pleaded with it.

"Oh no…et, tu Kodak!!!"

Although, my poor little red point and shoot is powering up (sort of) the lens opens and makes this terrible grinding noise, as it tries to focus on nothing and freezes with a gray-ish look on its screen and, well, I fear it is very nearly dead.

I know how it feels, sort of.

"Why are you crying?"

Heck if I knew.

"It's raindrops."

I mean, yeah, I bought the darned thing with my birthday money, last year (nevermind, which one) then, there's the fact that Garth and I are working through another rough patch (okay, so, maybe this time, we've been rubbing each other the wrong way, like flipping sandpaper) still, there ARE worse things, right?

Like, a flash flood in Kentucky and Tennessee (some of my best blogging buddies live there) a failed car bombing attempt in NYC (real close to home, this one is) just to name a few HOLY HANNAH MONTANA moments that make me feel like a total asshat for shedding a tear (or, two) over a flipping camera, or a little rain.

But, it's NOT just about the camera, or the rain.

"Wow, it's pouring outside!"

My dad is scheduled for more surgery, tomorrow (AGAIN!) and THIS time, he's scared…me, too.

"Mom, look it!"

I arranged for coverage at work (thank you, Jane!) and will probably be spending the night (with my parents house, NOT at work!)

"Mom?"

And was thinking about the eleventy other things that I had to do, this week and before school ends.

"Mommy?"

All of which required me to be somewhere else, other than home, or work and, well, I just wish that someone would hurry up and invent that cloning machine, already!

"MOMMY!"

[blink, blink]

"Huh, now what do you need?"

Judging by the look on my youngest daughter's face, a real nice birthday present, next month, would be nice — especially, to make up for drawing the short straw and the nearly nine years of putting up with me…as her mother.

"Daddy's gonna drop me off at school tomorrow, right?"

Oh yeah, I forgot.

"Yep."

Forget the clone, I've got Garth [not his real name] and, you bet your sweet tea, I'm keeping him!

"He took the whole day off, too!"

I know, right?

"AWESOME…I hope it doesn't pour."

Me, too!

[click]

"Cool picture!"

No editing required, either.

"Where's your camera?"

[one beat, two beats]

"Did you break it?"

You know, and I almost forgot about my broken camera…ALMOST!

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

May 3, 2010
When the Wet Gets Tough, the Tough Get Wet!

Photo cross-posted to our 365 Day Project

So, how was your weekend? Uh-huh. Ours? Well, Jersey got hit with a BEYOTCH of a storm, I mean this thing had monster winds of 40, 60, sometimes 70 miles per hour (so, I heard) it uprooted trees, knocked out power and left some of our neighbors without electricity AND gas.

Us?

[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

Just a few extra leaks, here and there.

"Uh-oooooh, found ANOTHER one!"

So, as my youngest children raced each other.

"Nooooo, I found that one, already!"

Playing an indoor-version of ISpy.

"Nuh-uh!"

To see which of them could, you know, find the most stains on our living room ceiling.

"Yah-huh, don'tcha see the pot?!?"

My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I decided that yesterday would be a good time, as any, to leave the kids to their fun, while he and I braved the storm, for some more emergency supplies.

"Could you pick up some Clearisil…I need face make up…could you pick something up at Redbox…aaaand, don't forget the Cheerios, okay?"

Seeing as my two oldest were home recovering from getting their braces (YAY!) and the youngest kids, you know, can't drive…yet.

"Can we come?"

[one beat, two beats]

"NO!"

[lips quiver]

"Buh-buh-but, why not?"

I reminded my son about his sleeping over a friend's house and my youngest that she just spent almost all of Saturday, alone, with me.

"But, you took me to work!"

Okay, but I was training a new hire and, well, I did have her bring crayons and stuff…sheesh!

"Besides, I want some private time with Daddy!"

It's funny, raising teens and tweens, I mean (funny weird, not funny ha ha) how our priorities seem to change.

"Where are we going, again?"

Almost on a daily basis, you know?

"Lowes, Costco and…um…Michaels, I think."

[lips quiver]

"What's at Michaels?"

[hands on hips]

"I'm ALL out of yarn!"

I know what you're thinking; we don't have yarn in our emergency supply kit.

"Maybe I should stay home with the kids."

[one beat, two beats]

"Sure, then maybe you can get an early jump on the to do list."

In our house? I'll pretty much do anything, to avoid spring cleaning, except, maybe something illegal (kids ARE watching, you know?) and, truth be told, it's been a real tough week (for the both of us) and, well, what with the kids crazy school stuff (don't even get me started on our attendance woes) not to mention, my working part-time, into the night (thank goodness, I'm home during the day) Garth [not his real name] and I almost NEVER get any alone time, anymore.

[hands on hips]

Damned if I'll spend it cleaning.

[looks left, looks right and then left]

Okay, all I really wanted was to get back home, snuggle up next to the hubs and work on that crocheting project I started, um, what month is it, again?

"I'll get my wallet."

Just don't tell Garth [not his real name] okay?

[hollers uptairs]

"Don't forget the rebate check."

After a quick-ish stop at Costco for school lunch supplies, of course!

© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

March 15, 2010
I’m a Little Bit Sassy, He’s a Whole Lot of Doofus

Helloooooooow, my name is Sassy. Doofus-Dawg isn't here, right now. Why? Uh. Good question.

[looks left, looks right]

Beeeeeeeecawse. Um. I ate him, yeah.

[snarl]

As if, right?

Actually, his mommy put him in a time out. I mean, I told him NOT to eat the garbage this morning. But, you know, he's a DOOFUS and, well, I'm not.

DER!

Aaaaaaaaayway, Doofus-Dawg's mommy is letting me sleepover, for a little while (i.e. what, in human terms is, like, I dunno, 2 weeks, or something, I think) while my mommy and daddy are on vacation, without me (DAMMIT!) and, you know, I kinda, sort like it here.

There's lots of little humans, running around, ready to rub my belly and play with me and, well, what's one more, right?

So, c'mon in. Sit down! The couch gots these real BIG mooshable pillows and, well, Doofus-Dawg is kinda sort not tawking to me, at the moment.

[sniff]

See? His mommy says he's just a little jealous, or something. Me? I think he's maybe even a little scared of me, too.

'Cawse, you know, I can be real scary, sometimes.

[snarl]

See? Friggin' frightening, right? So, don't make me have to use UPPERGROWL, okay?

Oh, and you have yourself a nice day. If anybody tells you different, just send them to me.

Why?

'Cawse, like Doofus-Dawg's mommy, I'm a Jersey girl and, well, she woke up with a real bad headache and is pretty p.o.'d at Doofus, at the moment, so I don't wanna have to make her Monday any ruffer than it has to be, ya' know?

[snarl]

Stupid Doofus-Dawg!

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

March 1, 2010
Yes I am Wearing Red for Women AND Men!!!

It is National Wear Red Day 2010 in support for the Go Red For Women movement.

Yes, I am wearing red. I happen to like the color (A LOT) but, it's a simple and powerful way to help raise awareness of heart disease and stroke.

But, what about men?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States:

"About every 25 seconds, an American will have a coronary event."

Aaaaand, I asked my kids to wear red (if they had something clean, I mean) NOT just because I happen to like the color (A LOT) either.

"Doesn't Uncle Bradi have heart disease?"

No, but my twin brother is ALSO fighting something just as deadly.

"You mean, Farah Fawcett type of cancer?"

Kids today, you know, they talk AND they have a very keen sense of perception – especially, standing in the check out lane at the grocery store.

"No, sweetie, but he's fighting really hard, like your Papa, too."

My children are well aware of the terrible effects of heart disease,
with a bird's eye view from their stroller(s), while seeing my father
through one life-saving procedure after another.

Thanks to his doctors, surgeons and my mother's valiant attempts at
maintaining a healthy lifestyle, by keeping his diabetes in check, as
well, my father has been beating back the effects of heart disease for
quite a few years, now.

[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

So, yeah, I'm wearing red.

"Is your, or my heart bad, too?"

Aaaand, NOT because I think I'm someone special.

"No, I don't think so, sweetie."

But, my kids sure do.

"That's okay, I like red."

I know.

"It looks good on you!"

Yes, I am wearing red.

"Aaaand, I love my Papa!"

Especially, for him…too…GO RED!!!

© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

February 5, 2010
Wordless Wednesday: 365 Days – Just Another Sick Day

Another snapshot courtesy of my 365 Days microblog project — where I'm taking a self-imposed timeout, every day, to post wordless (you're welcome!)

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you're it: Wordless Wednesday

Also, I'm letting it ALL hang out on Flickr

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

February 3, 2010
Writing Challenge #8: Plot – Let Sleeping Kids AND Their Perceptual Parents, Lie

This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging and brainchild of my friend, Mrs. Flinger. Today’s challenge was to write a post with a clear plot – the point in which you are trying to make (I know, good luck with that one, right?)

——————————————————————-

It’s Napalooza at Mama’s house (stupid camera!)

Yesterday, my husband Garth [not his real name] and I made plans to take the kids to visit with my parents, who are both dealing with difficult health issues at the moment, for a turkey dinner.

What? I clean. My mother cooks when she’s frustrated and, well, seeing as the kids haven’t had a decent meal since I started working, who am I to argue, right?

“I’ll bring the green bean casserole!”

Seeing as, I am NOT a total shitehead, either, I also offered to cook the turkey, too!

“No…nuh-uh…that’s okay.”

Apparently, the kids have been talking with my mother…about me…too.

“So, how are you guys…”

Aaaand, the flood gates opened.

“Your father probably needs a pacemaker and those 3 knee replacements I had, didn’t work!”

Apparently, my parents had 2 emergency medical visits, last week and, NO, they didn’t call me.

“We didn’t want to worry you!”

So, of course, by Sunday morning, I was VERY worried!

“I don’t care if you ARE still naked!”

Aaaand, annoyed — because, when taking showers, some kids have to be reminded to, you know, actually GET IN THE SHOWER!

“WE ARE LEAVING IN 5 MINUTES!!!”

Long story, short (you’re welcome!) as much as the kids ADORE my parents (me, too) and love visiting with them (sort of) it is never an easy trip.

“Move your seat up…I’m squished…move over…I…can’t…breathe!!!”

In fact, just getting in the car is enough to drive a sane person to, you know, walk the 44 miles.

“ENOUGH!!!”

When it comes to head-spinning, Linda Blair has got nothin’ on me!

“Next person who speaks, gets grounded for a week!”

Long story, short [don’t mention it] you coulda cut the tension with a spoon and, well, at this point, my husband and I weren’t speaking, to each other, either.

“What’s wrong?”

I don’t know what it is.

“C’mon, tell me.”

Ever since I was little, I could NEVER lie to my mother.

“Nothing, really!”

Until, at least, around dessert time.

“I don’t…[sniff]…know…[snort]…what to do!“

What? Some people go to therapy. Hungarians cry. Right into our desserts.

“I know, me either!”

So, we allowed the flood gates to open, once more — we sat, we talked, we cried, we hugged, got over the fact that, you know, sometimes life just has to happen and there was peace in the dining room, once more!

Until.

Napalooza 2

It was time to wake the kids.

“I don’t WANNA go home!”

Really, can you blame them?

“There’s always President’s weekend!”

Aaand, I bet that YOU don’t even have to guess real hard how my mother knew that the kids would be off…and willing to sleep over…that weekend…TOO.

Other folks participating, today:

Write on!

[Click here to view past Writing Challenges]

© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

February 1, 2010
This Ones Tricky, You Have to Use Imaginary Numbers, Like Eleventeen

I give up, you figure them out…

When I told my husband, Garth [not his real name] I was pregnant with our youngest, it didn't come as much of a surprise, really; not like the first time, I mean, when he closed his eyes, fell back on the bed, grabbed his head (with both hands) and sort of just laid there, for a few minutes, moaning.

We had already signed the contract on this house (less full, at the time) and then came Valentine's Day and, well, he WAS there when it ALL happened.

Three more (+) signs, later:

"Well, at least, no one will have to sit alone, on the rollercoaster."

Then, all of a sudden, our lives turned into one big Dr. Seuss book:

One Kid, two kids,

Meh, what's one more kid

Some have brown eyes, except their brother

Don't ask me why

Go ask your mother.

Little did we know, all those days (and nights) ago, how prophetic my husband words would be.

GAH! Now, I'm speaking in rhyme? Hang on, this will be real quick.

[slams head on laptop]

There, that did the trick…I mean…where was I?

Rollercoasters? Feh, they're for wussies. Raising tweens and teens? Best get your barf bags ready, now. Not only will they make you eat your words…

"I will never YELL at my kids, ever."

They'll make you chew on them a bit, first, before spitting them all over your sensible shoes, too!

"HANG UP YOUR WET TOWELS, DAMMIT!!!"

Wet towels. Tragic. I know.

[sound of puking]

I got sick, this week…NO, I'M NOT PREGNANT!

[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

I know, because I got my period at the same time (you're welcome!) it's how I roll and, well, best get your heating pads ready, now. Being a woman sucks. Being a woman of a certain age, sucks wet poodle.

"Go back to bed, Mah!"

It was already dark, the kids were ALL home from school (thank you, Carpooling Mom!) but, it was the quiet that woke me.

"Buh, dinner…breakfast dishes still…I gotta go…um."

Stupid analgesics.

"Your sick, we got this."

Aaaand, with a slightly confused and saddened heart, I turned toward the stairs, thinking that perhaps it was good that the kids were learning to take care of themselves (jinx) and slowly climbed closer to the realization that, one day, they won't be needing me, at all.

"Sheesh…she's like a kid, sometimes."

Judging by the frequency of my bathroom stops, I imagine it will be real soon, too.

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

January 8, 2010