Category: School Daze

  • 10 Years After Columbine: How Sometimes We Just Forget to Say Goodbye

    Columbine
    The columbine that grows in our garden underneath the playroom window.

    10 years ago, my oldest daughter was preparing for graduation ceremonies with her pre-kindergarten class, while my middle girl spent the afternoon with her "lunch bunch" pals and I attempted NOT to cry as I desperately tried to nurse my infant son.

    I was unsuccessful on both counts.

    Little did I know, the tears I shed that day would be no match to the gut-wrenching pain of watching my 15 year-old child walk out the door, without saying goodbye…again.

    (more…)

  • Beware, Doofus Dog on Duty!!!

    Chocolate-easter-bunny

    Welcome to the This Full House 3rd Annual Spring Break Staycation — where wearing our pajamas and sliding around the house in dingy socks are standard issue — this year, the kids and I have got lots of laid back and fun things planned for the next few days:

    • Sleep in
    • Color eggs with Mama and Papa
    • Sleep in
    • Visit with my twin brother and his wife in Ft. Dix
    • Sleep in
    • Go to Grandma's house for Easter
    • Sleep in
    • Visit with Aunt Cheryl and Uncle John in Cape May
    • Sleep in
    • Sleep in
    • Sleep in

    Especially, since Heather (formerly known as, Thing Two) received a clean bill of health from her surgeon…can I get HANDSLAP!?!?…and, after 6 months of riding the emotional roller coaster from hell, my 13-year-old is ABSOLUTELY THRILLED that she won't be getting back on the operating table, anytime soon…can I get a YEEHAW!?!?

    [deep sigh of relief]

    It's so great to be able to, you know, breath….again.  So, I'm taking a few days offline, with the exception of one quick and very important blogging date, to spend a low-tech-timeout with my kids.

    Except, for the totally tricked out car we get to drive around in…for little while, at least…but, more on that later.

    Oh, and my husband Garth (not his real name) started a new job, so he can't get any time off right now (no worries, he's very, very happy to be working…period) so, I'm leaving Doofus-dog in charge.

    Doofus-dog

    Knock before entering or he will…
    French you like a cheap porn star!!!

    In the meantime, I've got a new post up at New Jersey Moms Blog and I'd love to hear what you guys are up to…next week (delurking for a dork WILL get you into heaven, donchaknow?) oh, and I'm holding an Open House Blog Tour so, you are more than welcome to share your links there, as well.

    [lick]

    Have a great week, everyone!

    My-signature
    © 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.


  • Co-ed Sleepovers: Yay, Nay or NO FREAKIN’ WAY?

    This-full-house-high
    Growing up and letting go, one child at a time!

    Remember the other day?  You know, when I first realized that my 7-year-old daughter admittedly accepted the fact that it's tough being friends with a girl and NOT be sucked into all the meanness?

    How do I know this?

    Because, I was a girl (once) and STILL feel the sting of being singled out for wearing a pale lemon yellow body suit, without a training bra, in the 3rd grade and (especially, if you were a girl once) you know that some girls grow up to be moms and are raising their girls the same exact way.

    Or, not.

    Right, or wrong, the girl can't help it…because, she's a girl.

    "So, did you hear that So-and-So had a boy sleepover at her 13-year-old daughter's party?"

    [eyes go wide]

    At this point in my life, I don't insist on getting to involved in my kids affairs…as much as I used to…I mean.

    "Yeah, actually I did, and my kid was invited and went to that same party, too."

    Unless, however, it was my 13 year-old daughter and I found out a boy attended the same sleepover party….FROM ANOTHER MOTHER???

    "Oh, but it's okay…he's gay!"

    (more…)

  • Six Easy Steps to Surviving Back-to-School Night

    Personally, I know a lot of parents who look forward to attending their child(ren)’s back-to-school night and see it as either a joyful escape out…alone…without the kids, or an important ritual marking the beginning of a new school year and not to be missed under any circumstances.

    However, I am NOT one of them.

    Having 4 kids attending 4 different schools, this year (yes, in the same town) I feel it safe to say that its starts to feel old after a while (like me) and, quite frankly, I could think about a million other things to do OTHER than leaning against a cement block wall, in a
    standing-room only crowd of people, and listening to the same thing, over and over again.

    Even the laundry starts to look good  and just thinking of ALL those parent/teacher conferences is enough to make me want to hang onto summer, just a little longer.

    [kicks calendar under desk]

    This year, however, I’ve got a freshman in high school.

    [shiver]

    And I told my husband, Garth (not his real name) that we HAVE to go and, for you OTHER newbies, I came up with these Six Steps to Surviving Back-to-School Night:

    (more…)

  • Hump Day Diddy Dumbs: Soccer has been very, very weary to me!

    Theboyisafricahot

    How hot WAS it?

    The temperature gauge in our van hit 101 degrees, yesterday afternoon – that's Africa HOT! – when I picked up the kids from school, yesterday.  In Jersey?  Well, it's just way too hot for June.  So, our schools closed, early.

    Aaaand it was only two weeks ago when I blogged about the importance of practicing our Kegels and having nearly froze my butt cheeks to the bleachers during The Boy's travel soccer try-outs.

    [phone rings]

    My husband, Garth (not his real name) and I were hiding upstairs in our bedroom – relax, it's air-conditioned and the kids found us anyway – when we got the call that my son didn't make it.

    [bites lower lip to keep from crying]

    "What…oh, MAN that just totally sucks…are you kidding me!?!?"

    No, I wasn't happy (at all) and it kills me to think that we haven't even told him, yet.

    (more…)

  • Got teens – it’s about time we had a Girl Talk, yes?

    Alot2lose

    I remember the one (and only) time I ever saw my father flat-out drunk.

    It was New Years Day in 1978 (I was 14) and we were on our way home from spending the entire night celebrating at The Hungarian Club, but my twin brother and I had to help my mother carry our father to the car, insisting that he was just too "happy" to drive.

    We carried him upstairs, sat him on the bed and tried hard NOT to burst out in a fit of giggles, as he tried to pull his turtleneck off his head and somehow managed to twist it into something resembling a straight jacket.

    We STILL laugh at that one!

    "Um…Mom…have you been drinking, again?"

    (more…)

  • Being at the wrong place at the right time and Mini-sleepovers!

    The Boy (he’s 9) had a friend sleepover on Friday and, after his mom dropped him off, I asked for his backpack, pointed out where he and The Boy would sleep (I mean, the couch IS right next to the front door) and then I knelt down real low (I could hear the poor kid’s neck muscles straining) and went over our house rules.

    "Basically, there aren’t any."

    What?

    He’s NOT my kid and it IS a sleepover – he WILL eventually go home and, you know, tell his mother – and it’s NOT like I expected them to actually sleep, or anything.

    But, he still seemed a little weary – I recognized the confused sort of…WUH-HUH?…way he shook his head, right away – so, I continued.

    (more…)

  • TGIBF: Stop, look and listen to how I really DO sound like Julie McCoy!

    Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone and it’s funny, you know – not like ha-ha funny, but a weird sort of aha – it just hit me that, even though I’m glad that the week is finally over, it’s been really, really quiet.

    Shhh, just listen for a minute.

    Thanksgiving2007theboyandme

    This is The Boy – after finding the courage to "volunteer" to dance in front of a whole bunch of, you know, people – this is what a sigh of relief, looks like.

    Thanksgiving2007minime

    This is Mini-me – after admitting that I was indeed her mom, REALLY – this is what accepting independence, looks like.

    Thanksgiving2007girls

    These are my girls – each very different from the other – this is what feeling a genuine sense of pride, looks like.

    But, I was thinking.

    [shudder]

    A dangerous habit for someone with a limited amount of usable cerebral space available, already, I know.

    [shrugs shoulders]

    It’s about time I admitted to myself (as well as the rest of the Internets) that, even though I may grumble at the calendar and growl about how crazy-busy our lives can, you know, get.

    [bites lower lip]

    I really do enjoy playing the role of…um…well, there’s so many to choose from, really, but I guess the best way to describe my current position with the family, at the moment, is…uh…wait…okay, I got it…a plucky cruise director.

    Especially, when it seems that there isn’t a day that something does NOT go
    wrong and I’m just trying to make believe that it’s, you know, all right.

    A motherly version of Love Boat’s Julie McCoy, if you will, except – instead of regaling romantic and funny adventures – we’re dealing with episodes and story lines that…well, if you’re a parent…then, you know.

    [shudder]

    One minute, life is sweet and then…BOOM…the pipes break and a person can’t even flush a toilet without having a backup plan, literally.

    [cue:  Julie McCoy]

    "Your table is ready, captain and there will be 13 joining you for dinner, tomorrow."

    I was filling my husband in about our Thanksgiving plans and – after 17 years of marriage – he IS very well aware of the fact that, you know, I’m the one in charge.

    "Okay, just remember to tell me what to do, what to wear and what NOT to say."

    I know how it sounds – though, both my father and father-in-law happily admit having freely given up their manhood a long time ago – honestly, I don’t believe that these men have ever really learned how to deal with all the noise.

    I am so done with running back and forth – between this house, and that house – that I’ve decided to have Thanksgiving here.

    All the time.

    [collective sigh of…UGH!]

    It’s just easier, you know?

    "Don’t worry, nothing new to report at the moment, just sit back and listen."

    As most families (I hope!) we all have our little issues and interacting during the holidays can get a little, you know, sticky.

    "Well, I’m sorry to hear you feel that way…but…um…HEY!…did I mention that my water broke and that The Boy got up and danced?"

    Well, that got the room quiet.

    "Yes, I even kept the two oldest girls home from school to watch!"

    Funny – yes, like in haha – how FAR people’s mind can wonder.

    "Yes…hahahah…really and they even took pictures."

    Suffice it to say, my family has grown accustomed to my…um…funny ways and everyone pretty much forgot about…well…everything else.

    Minimedecorates

    Mini-me and The Boy got a chance to decorate the tree.

    Theboydecorates

    Putting on all the pretties they collected, or made in school, over the years.

    Garthandminime

    Sharing a quiet moment with the captain and then, they were invited over to my parent’s house for a sleep-over for a couple of days….SWEET!

    Of course, I never DID get a chance to show the relatives the other pictures – you know, sharing in those quiet little moments – and I guess they figure we could probably use some downtime and that pretty much explains why the older girls and I don’t have any plans…at the moment.

    [phone rings]

    Until now.

    "Attention everyone, there’s been a slight change of plans…since, the captain has left for work early this morning and is no longer on board…all remaining passengers are invited to prepare for lunch on the Lido Deck!"

    Time to put it in neutral – on the ONE day I really didn’t plan on getting dressed, in the first place – ’cause I told my family that we will be home for the holidays and now EVERYBODY knows it!

    Black Friday, indeed – you guys ain’t got nothing on me – so, if you’re not doing anything constructive, want to come over and help hide the laundry?

  • Soccer/mom bloggers with helicopter parent tendencies, UNITE.

    As defined by Wikipedia:

    A helicopter parent is a term for a person who pays extremely
    close attention to his or her child or children, particularly at
    educational institutions.

    Oh, the humanity…I mean, the nerve of some people…expecting to know and control everything their child eats, drinks, learns and watches…hovering over their children, so.

    That’s what I thought, too – until I had children – and then everything I ever thought I knew about being a good mother sort of, you know, was ripped to shreds on Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Phil.

    Having at least one parent home and available for your kids is good…staying home with them is bad…supporting your children and teaching them to be self-sufficient is good…working outside the home is bad…alpha moms suck…beta moms suck poodle…being a good mom is bad…being a bad mom is good…I mean, wait.

    Spring forward, jump back two spaces…which is it?…I forget.

    So, I was thinking – a dangerous concept for a professional Dork, I know – how about if we (moms AND dads) STOP with all the name calling and goofy monikers (momikers, they call it) and just accept the fact that  – when it comes to raising children – we are ALL a bunch of Dorks!

    In my experience, there’s always someone ready to prove YOU wrong – and then make up a name for your sorry butt – so, why fight it.

    Most likely, it’ll probably be one of YOUR…I mean, MY…d’oh…OUR kids are going to think we sucked at it, anyway!

    [stepping off of soapbox]

    Okay, I admit it.

    [pours another cup of coffee]

    I am a soccer/mom blogger with helicopter parent tendencies – I drive a 7-passenger car and want to know exactly where my kids are and what they are doing, most of the time – but, the whole reason I started this here blog…in the first place…was to be able to hear myself think…since my kids don’t listen to a word I say, anyway!

    I’m not perfect and my kids seem to be okay, anyway.

    "Um…do you know that Mini-Me’s wearing two different cleats?"

    [eyes go wide]

    Fullhousemismatch

    "Well, at least THIS TIME she’s wearing the right shirt."

    Like, a few Saturdays ago, when I mistakenly pulled a green shirt out of the laundry basket (after successfully completing the smell test, of course) and learned that it was actually…um…The Boy’s shirt from two years ago!?!?

    "Her team’s color is green this year, right?"

    Her coach nodded his head and thought it was sort of, you know, funny – he’s GOT kids, after all – but, ask me a few years ago and I would have probably totally wigged-out!

    "Mini-me, stand still so Mommy can take a picture!"

    And died of total embarrassment!

    "You’re going to blog about this, arent’ you?!?"

    You betcha!

    [shrugs shoulders]

    Don’t worry, she knows – mommy bwogs ’cause it makes her feel better – but, to some people I will always be just another DORK!

  • Parenting Tip #22,915,002: Never underestimate the power of sustainable housekeeping!

    Years ago – before kids and killer dust bunnies took over my brain –
    my husband and I had dinners and entertained a lot (with real food!)
    and for the "entertainment" portion of the evening, he used to love to
    play dirty little housekeeping tricks on me.

    "Watch this!"

    [places wine glass on cocktail table]

    "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…"

    [places coaster under wine glass and wipes table]

    "Can I get anyone, anything?"

    [lots of giggling]

    "She’s nuts, I tell ya’!"

    Okay, so maybe I used to be a little overzealous about the cleaning
    – a domesticated freak show, apparently – but, after years of trying
    to keep up with four kids – not to mention, their laundry – I’ve since
    removed the Swiffer from out of my butt and adopted my own Full House philosophy in house cleaning.

    Then my kids got older and they all sort of started needing stuff –
    like clothes, shoes and lunch bags – to be, you know, clean and…cough-cough…organized, just to get them to school.

    This time of year, I’m pretty much done with that, too!

    "I need something to make a dessert for a project for my Italian class!"

    Watch this.

    "When do you need it?"

    [biting lip]

    "Um…tomorrow!?!"

    [looks at clock]

    "It’s 8 o’clock on a Sunday night."

    7,6,5,4,3,2…

    "Are you nuts…nope, I’m not doin’ this…not this time…I am SO done!!!"

    Thing One (a.k.a. Last minute Annie) and her projects have caused
    more stress on her father and I than, well, all the craft projects
    we’ve had to put-together, the last minute, for any one of our
    children, for the passed month, at least!

    "Nope, I am NOT saving your butt, not again!"

    So, we’re on our way back from Stop and Shop – what? – because,
    well, I am a DORK and there wasn’t any sugar in the house – what, NO
    SUGAR!?! – wait, I’ll let that settle in, for a minute….YES, I take
    sugar in my coffee, thank you…okay, and I’m pretty proud of myself
    for not, you know, flipping out.

    "Just melt the chocolate chips for about 30 seconds and dip the Stella D’oros in and…"

    Watch this.

    "Oh, CRAP!"

    [grabs forehead as Thing One ducks for cover]

    "I totally forgot Little Man’s diorama is due, tomorrow!"

    7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…

    SNAP!

    Now, a few years ago, the much younger, yet freakish me would have
    taken Little Man to the Hobby Shop, gathered all of the materials,
    necessary to create the perfect ocean environment and even have him
    pick out the sea life for his aquatic diorama.

    Craftedtable

    "This is what we’ve got and we’ll make it work!"

    Never underestimating the power of collecting and saving an abundant
    supply of what seems to be useless crud – not to mention, never having
    thrown anything away since 1993 – see, I knew this crap would come in
    handy, some day!

    Diorama

    Meet Humpty, the humpback whale – he’s a handsome-looking mammal
    (though, it’s hard for you to see his fins fashioned from black
    construction paper) happily blowing his bubbles (saved from a broken
    strand of Christmas beads) swimming in a sea of blue sidewalk chalk and
    hiding amongst the crepe paper sea weed.

    Capemay

    Humpty was most recently moved from Cape May, NJ…

    Shoebox

    …and – though, I’ve been teased and chastised for cleaning my house in heels
    – ever the shoe box Diva, Little Man had his pick and Humpty gots
    himself a suburban house of pumps; a real fixer upper, go figure!

    Donediorama

    Mission accomplished – Humpty’s diorama is TIGHT – and on time; we
    actually had fun and no animals (or, children) were harmed in the
    making of yet another gosh-darned school project!

    Let that be a lesson to us all!

    [ring-ring]

    "Hello, Mom…um…it’s me, Little Man…I forgot my
    project on the kitchen table, this morning…and could you bring it in
    the next 10 minutes…or, the teacher’s gonna give me a zero!?!"

    SNAP!

    [Next week:  How to alienate yourself from your child’s teacher, and cursing in two different languages, in three easy lessons…or less!]