This Full House Archive

Category: School Daze

Trash to Treasure

Today is my best friend's birthday. Actually, she's not really my best friend. Not anymore, anyway. In fact, I can't even remember the last time we spoke.

Wait, yes I can.

[glances at calendar]

It will be 28 years, this coming June.

You see, Shirley and I fought our way out of grew up in the same neighborhood and, if I think real hard, I could probably even remember the street she lived on.

[frowns]

Okay, I give up. I can, however, tell you that her family lived a few blocks closer to the Arthur Kill, which afforded their house a better view of the Staten Island dump.

Then again, even the "uptown" folks had no choice but to acknowledge our neighbors from across the river….especially, in the summertime.

After a while, you sort of grew used to the smells, I guess and, well, quite frankly, we were too busy having fun, just being kids, to even notice, anything other than which street lights to watch for (hint: NOT the ones with the smashed bulbs) a clear signal that it was, you know, time to go home.

"Why don't you go and get some fresh air?"

My youngest is 8 and, well, not only do my parents insist that Hopey is as…ahem…active and rambunctious as I was (especially, at that age) she is also, part monkey (see picture above) I think.

"What are you doing?"

Still, a lot has changed since I was a kid. The dumps aren't visible any longer (there's a new project refreshingly referred to as the Fresh Kills Park) today, I'm missing the old neighborhood (sort of) and my best friend, Shirley (Happy Birthday, wherever you are!) and, well, there's a teeny-tiny part of me that will always be partial to the smell of garbage.

"Allllllll…most…GOT IT — I'm trying to help keep the Earth clean!"

Disrespecting where you live…no matter where you live…not so much.

"Can you buh-leeve some big, fat jerk left garbage on OUR playground!"

What can I say? She's got a mouth, like her muh-thuh!

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

April 19, 2010
NWF Be Out There Challenge: Day 1 – RainFAIL

As a longtime National Wildlife Federation supporter (yes, we have wildlife…in Jersey!) I am very excited to be a part of their Be Out There Campaign and modestly tweeted, the same:

I'm taking the NWF #BeOutThere Challenge w/o March 29! (http://bit.ly/bTeL0C) 'cawse, we've got wildlife IN JOISEY, too ya' know! #NWFMoms

So, here it is, DAY 1 of our spring break/challenge AND you want to know how it's working out, so far?

[blows bangs outta eyes]

Well, feeling inspired by the immortal words of John Lennon:

So, this spring break. And what have you done?
Another day almost over and the rain STILL isn't quite done.

And so this spring break. I hope you have fun.
'Cawse, here at our house, we're watching old game show reruns.

So, happy spring break. It's okay, we're STILL not quite done.

Cross-posted to our 365 Days mircoblog project — where I'm taking a self-imposed timeout, every day, to post wordless (you're welcome!)

With 6 days left, maybe…just maybe…we'll actually get outside AND see the gosh-darned sun!

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

March 29, 2010
When the Wet Gets Tough, the Tough Get Wet!

Photo cross-posted to our 365 Day Project

So, how was your weekend? Uh-huh. Ours? Well, Jersey got hit with a BEYOTCH of a storm, I mean this thing had monster winds of 40, 60, sometimes 70 miles per hour (so, I heard) it uprooted trees, knocked out power and left some of our neighbors without electricity AND gas.

Us?

[knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

Just a few extra leaks, here and there.

"Uh-oooooh, found ANOTHER one!"

So, as my youngest children raced each other.

"Nooooo, I found that one, already!"

Playing an indoor-version of ISpy.

"Nuh-uh!"

To see which of them could, you know, find the most stains on our living room ceiling.

"Yah-huh, don'tcha see the pot?!?"

My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I decided that yesterday would be a good time, as any, to leave the kids to their fun, while he and I braved the storm, for some more emergency supplies.

"Could you pick up some Clearisil…I need face make up…could you pick something up at Redbox…aaaand, don't forget the Cheerios, okay?"

Seeing as my two oldest were home recovering from getting their braces (YAY!) and the youngest kids, you know, can't drive…yet.

"Can we come?"

[one beat, two beats]

"NO!"

[lips quiver]

"Buh-buh-but, why not?"

I reminded my son about his sleeping over a friend's house and my youngest that she just spent almost all of Saturday, alone, with me.

"But, you took me to work!"

Okay, but I was training a new hire and, well, I did have her bring crayons and stuff…sheesh!

"Besides, I want some private time with Daddy!"

It's funny, raising teens and tweens, I mean (funny weird, not funny ha ha) how our priorities seem to change.

"Where are we going, again?"

Almost on a daily basis, you know?

"Lowes, Costco and…um…Michaels, I think."

[lips quiver]

"What's at Michaels?"

[hands on hips]

"I'm ALL out of yarn!"

I know what you're thinking; we don't have yarn in our emergency supply kit.

"Maybe I should stay home with the kids."

[one beat, two beats]

"Sure, then maybe you can get an early jump on the to do list."

In our house? I'll pretty much do anything, to avoid spring cleaning, except, maybe something illegal (kids ARE watching, you know?) and, truth be told, it's been a real tough week (for the both of us) and, well, what with the kids crazy school stuff (don't even get me started on our attendance woes) not to mention, my working part-time, into the night (thank goodness, I'm home during the day) Garth [not his real name] and I almost NEVER get any alone time, anymore.

[hands on hips]

Damned if I'll spend it cleaning.

[looks left, looks right and then left]

Okay, all I really wanted was to get back home, snuggle up next to the hubs and work on that crocheting project I started, um, what month is it, again?

"I'll get my wallet."

Just don't tell Garth [not his real name] okay?

[hollers uptairs]

"Don't forget the rebate check."

After a quick-ish stop at Costco for school lunch supplies, of course!

© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

March 15, 2010
Like Cobwebs in the Corner, These Are the Days of Our Lies

Photo cross-posted to our 365 Day Project

My youngest (she's 8) and her girl scout troop had their International Dinner, last night — they were representing Italy, this year — and, well, I hear she looked real cute.

"Daddy helped me find a white t-shirt, Heather painted my nails red and Holly gave me a basket of biscotti!"

I, however, did nothing other than forget to send her leaders a baseball hat.

"That's okay, Mommy, they had extras."

For forgetful moms (like me) I'm sure.

"What country is Hope doing?"

Since, it ended rather late (for us "seasoned moms," that means after 8 p.m.) I was, however, able to pick the child up, after work (only, because my husband texted me, you know, not to forget) and, well, it seems I am NOT the only one.

"Italy."

[eyes go wide]

"Funny, that's what my daughter is doing."

[grin]

"Good, because, Hope is in your daughter's troop, too."

Then…ohhhhh…how we laughed…[wipes tears from eyes]…and, well, I swear the woman looked like she was ready to cry.

"Why can't I remember that???"

Oh good (phew) I like easy questions!

"Well, maybe because we never see each other anymore."

Then, we spent the next 10 minutes talking about having recently gone back to work, for real (I mean, outside of raising kids and taking care of our households) and, you know, catching up on other stuff, like, what day was it, really, anyway?

"Did Hope tell you I substituted her class, yesterday?"

[eyes go wide]

"As a matter of fact, yes."

[crosses fingers behind back]

"Yes, she did."

[bites lower lip]

Okay, so maybe she didn't tell me…for real…but, honestly, I thought perhaps my friend was feeling bad enough and, you know, it was only a little white lie — does it really matter?

"You know, I really love my job!"

Yes, yes I do believe that, sometimes, being nice really does matter.

"Aaaaand, I'm subbing her class on Thursday, too!"

Now, if I could only remember if her daughter was in Hope's class, too…or, not…DAMMIT!!!

"Oh good, Hope loves it when her mom friends come in to teach!"

This time, I wasn't lying — heaven knows, she's learned enough bad habits from me, right?

"I heard you did a GREAT job as picture parent, last week!"

Yeah, right.

"Who told you?"

[eyes go wide]

"Um, they did, when I subbed Hope's class, remember?"

I swear…I can STILL hear her laughing…DAMMIT!

© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

March 10, 2010
On A Long Winter’s Night

And the snow began to fall…aaaaand, fall…school was closed…the next day, too. Then, ALL the lights went out.

"GAAAAAAH!"

Aaaaand, DAYUM, it was dark.

"Don't NOBODY move!"

The sort of inky gloom that makes a person lose all sense of good grammar, too.

"Do we have any candles?"

Is the Pope, well, whatever.

[click, click, click, click]

"I'm cold…I have to go to the bathroom…I'm scared…I'm hungry!"

It's hard, you know? Living in the suburbs.

"Whatever you do, do NOT open that fridge!"

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Time stops, in the dark.

"Okay, who blew out the candles?"

Like moths to a flame, they just can't help themselves.

"Are we gonna freeze…can we flush the toilet…are we gonna die…do we have enough food?

[click, click, click, click]

"Everyone, close your eyes, take a deep breath and relax."

[whoosh]

"Okay, who blew out the candles?"

Honestly, I don't know how the pioneers did it.

"Um…wait…wait…I got one!"

It's hard, you know? Playing charades…in the dark, inky, gloom.

"No, it's MY turn!"

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Can cabin fever kill?

[flash, blink, blink, zap]

"POWER'S BACK!"

Aaaand, DAYUM, just in time, too.

"QUICK, turn the lights out AGAIN!"

[ZAP!]

"GAAAAAAH!"

Of course, pioneer parents probably would have agreed that playing head games on your kids is really quite fun.

"Don't NOBODY move!"

Or, perhaps if they had really good timing AND quick access to the circuit breakers, they probably would…I mean.

FWAHMP!

"Okay, who blew one?"

Stupid snowpocalypse!

© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

February 13, 2010
It’s Called Word-of-Mouth AND Drive-by Mothering

Can you judge a mother by her shopping cart…in MY case, ABSOLUTELY…go right ahead…I triple-dog dare you!

If you were to ask me, years ago — before blocking the MTV channel and searching for un-holey jeans at Hot Topic ruled my world — what I disliked most about being a mom, I would have answered, without hesitation:

"Answering to other moms!"

Although, having to explain myself…to anyone…is STILL really hard — especially, without relying on cocktails, or the use of visual aids — living a fishbowl existence and swimming along with the same old school of thought, day after day, is even harder.

"Oh, just LOOK at how SHE is dressed…I would NEVER let my little Muffy wear black, EVUH!"

No flaming. I understand. Maybe even have told Buffy (you know, Muffy's mom) that we went through something similar. However, today, I would totally see Buffy's point and perhaps raise her an opinion…

"Oh, she's just expressing herself."

…or, two.

"But, absolutely NO belly button piercings until at least 17!"

Point being (I really do have one, I think) I find myself relying A LOT more on, you know, what OTHER moms are saying.

"Hi Liz, just wanted to let you know that, you know, cookie orders are due."

Yeah, it's girl scout cookie order time (AGAIN!) and I knew, that my youngest girl's leader knew, that I was supposed to hand those in, like, a week ago.

"I hate being THAT mom!"

[silence]

Because, my father-in-law drops Hope off and I don't even see, talk, or hear anything from any of the girl scout families, anymore, since picking up the afternoon/evening shift at work.

"You know, the one who forgets EVERYTHING!?!?"

[very awkward silence]

"I'll drop it off, during pick ups, today."

Even though, I don't really know whether I'm dropping off, or picking up, unless another mom, you know, texts me.

"Hey, isn't that my girl scout leader's car?"

Why, yes, yes it was AND she's stopping to talk to me…uh-oh…right here…in the middle…of traffic!

[rolls down driver's side window]

"Heh, good timing, did you stop by my house, yet?"

Then, I realized something (besides the fact that my oldest must have put the cookie order into my tote, I mean) after 16 years of raising kids (and killer dust bunnies) it doesn't matter.

[passes cookie order through window]

"Here ya' go!"

I still have NOT learned to, you know, get over myself!

"Well, that worked out well, didn't it?"

At the end of the day, no matter how crazy it gets, or how absolutely awful I feel, somehow, it really does NOT matter.

"I'll be seeing you."

At least, my being able to admit that…YES!…I am THAT mom….hopefully, helps other moms see that, no matter, we ALL come together, in the end.

"Hopefully, sometime soon!"

Aaaand, if not, don't worry, I'm on YOUR side AND I'm pretty sure, with my help, other folks will understand, too – especially, if you ARE a mother!

[fast-forward to CVS, last night]

"Muffy is at her Valentine's Day party at girl scouts, tonight!"

It's like the mother of all barking chains, really.

"Wow, well, Hope has hers tomorrow, so I guess I'd better check my email, then, huh?"

Stupid girl scouts!

© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

February 9, 2010
Mom Sends the Msg: Never Drive Faster Than Your Mom (or Dad) Can Text
If you were to ask me to list the scariest words in the English language, a few years ago, it would have looked something like this:
- Strep throat
- It's probably viral
- Check E. Cheese
- Parent-teacher conference
- I couldn't find any clean underwear (don't ask)
Then, I picked up my oldest daughter (she turned 16, last week) and she laid 6 more on me, right in the middle of the high school parking lot:

"I started driver's ed, today!"

I knew this day would come. Dreaded it more than anything (even hot flashes) actually.

[the sound of brakes, screeching to a halt]

Then, she showed me the Parent Resource for Teen Driving Safety manual she received and I was all, like:

"You wanna drive home?"

(more…)
November 16, 2009
Veteran’s Day Project: Children Give Thanks

Her 3rd grade class was asked to create posters, giving thanks to a soldier, for the Veteran's Day Parade, today — she chose her Uncle John.

Each of her classmates has a poster, just like it.

A special thanks to ALL of our troops and big HOOAH to my twin brother, SFC Kat, who has dedicated each and every one of his medals to our parents — they risked their lives for the promise of freedom and love America more than anyone I know!

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

November 11, 2009
Classic This Full House: I don’t think early Native Americans even ate salty corn chips or spoke like Scooby Doo, did they!?!

In kindergarten, I used to call her Mini-me!

I'm starting my new job, today (YIKES!) and, well, Garth [not his real name] took the day off and, since the kids had him last Thursday and Friday, too (love when he surprises us, like that) today, I get to keep him all to myself!!!

Until, I have to go to work…wait, it's been 16 years…let me just say that again:

I HAVE TO GO TO WORK (like, leave the house and get paid real money) I mean!

So, I've been cleaning out my archives (since, it's easier than switching out the drawers and closets, really) and invite you to share in a Classic This Full House (from when Hope was in kindergarten) and, well, it's sort of comforting to know that not much has changed.

Except, I use my youngest daughter's real name (she asked me to) instead of her blog name (Mini-me) and she's in the…[cough]…3rd grade…[choke]…now!

Okay, and maybe…juuuuuust, maybe…I spell-checked-it a few times, first.

YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

(more…)

November 9, 2009
It’s Not the Years, HONEY – It’s the Mileage!

Yeah, well, YOU shut up and drive!

I have ALWAYS thought the acronym SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) to be an oxymoron. Yes, I have kids. Yes, I am home (right now) and yes, my kids are also in school (full-time) but, I will be leaving my house (in about 30 minutes) to bring kids back home and NOT all of them happen to be mine, either.

I am in charge of "the after school" portion of the carpool.

[waves to Carpooling Mom, she reads my blog]

You see, Carpooling Mom does "the morning run," and I, well, get an extra 25 minutes to kiss my husband (he wishes!) or, pour another cup of coffee (or, 20) before heading out into suburban hell (a.k.a. my youngest daughter's elementary school!)

Unless it's raining.

"UGH!"

Or, one of my two oldest daughters are running late.

"Who turned off the alarm, again?"

Mostly, my 16 year-old.

"Yes, I'll drive you to school."

This morning, it was raining, my 16 year-old was running late (AGAIN!) AND, since my husband's car died, last week (the funeral is this weekend) my SIL was gracious enough to lend Garth [not his real name] hers (thanks sis!) but, it died this morning (sorry sis!) and, well, I've created a new acronym, just for the occasion!

"Yes, I'll drive you to work."

S.A.H.M.M.A. (stay-at-home-mom-my-ass) if anyone needs me, I'll be on the road, driving and flipping someone off, no doubt!

"Speed up, SPEED up, SPEED UP OR YOU'LL NEVER GET PASSED THAT TRUCK!!!"

Mostly, my husband……to be continued.

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

October 28, 2009