This Full House Archive

Category: School Daze

Dealing with mean girls (and boys) from a teenager’s point of view.

2 days into the new school year and my youngest has already had to deal with 7th grade (a.k.a. the birthing ground for mean) girls, who seem to be prepping themselves to be catty women when they grow up (if ever), and it’s breaking my heart.

Unfortunately, it’s easy for us parents to say things like, “they’re just jealous” and “because the new boy talked to you at lunch, first” or “they see you as a threat” because we’ve ALL been there, right?!?

Aaaaaand, therein lies the rub.

You see, my kids have a real hard time understanding (or even believing) that their parents may or may not have dealt with mean behavior, at some point in our lives, and that at least one other person in the bathroom/class room/gym/hallway/lunchroom imagined it to be really funny, at the time, too.

In this case, calling your name out loud, turning their backs and then giggling their little fool heads off or just walking into a room…

[cue: giggling little fools]

…then casually glancing down at yourself, wondering if you’ve mistakenly put your pants on backwards or something and, well, as if being 12 years-old wasn’t difficult enough, right?!?

So, having lived through a couple of mean moments (or twenty) of their own (dammit), I asked my two oldest girls (they are 19 and 17) and my son (he’s 14) for their thoughts on dealing with mean girls (or boys) from a teen’s point of view.

Because I am very open-minded, not to mention they are MUCH smarter than me, like that!

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September 12, 2013
How we can help Kellogg’s & Scholastic give families free books!

Disclosure: As a Champion of #GreatStarts blogger, I am honored to partner with Kellogg’s in helping families (like mine) achieve great starts to their days. I am being compensated for my services for the length of the program.

It’s the first day of school, here in Jersey (I know, it is kinda late, but the kids seemed okay wit-it!) which means my crew was up and ready to get out of the house by…wait…for…it…6:30, this morning.

Aaaaaand, I couldn’t help but get all caught up in the tide of nervous energy flowing throughout the house.

I was showered, dressed, baked a loaf of pumpkin bread, and then a batch of pumpkin cookies (for good measure), rounding out the morning with 3 loads of laundry washed and folded by…get…this…before lunchtime!!!

Okay, I lied: the laundry isn’t folded…YET!!!…which means I should be crashing anytime now and when the kids get home.

Before that happens, I want to tell you about how we’ve partnered with my friends at Kellogg’s and the equally awesome folks at Scholastic to help give families free books!

On second thought, I’ll let my celebrity dad-friend and children’s book author Taye Diggs explain it (seriously, we spoke on the phone and everything!) Why?!? Well, I love his voice and he’s way prettier to look at:

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September 9, 2013
Sinceriously Yours, I.M. Deluded

Our youngest daughter is turning 12, next month — pausing to allow for the "OH, BUT HOW?!?" and the "MY BAYBEEEEEE?!?" to come through, okay, I'm good now, thanks!!! — and, as fourth in line, MY BAYBEEEEEE (whoops, that one slipped right through, sorry!) she's learned to sit back and observe, as her older siblings get grounded for one reason (or twenty), so that she knows EXACTLY what she can or cannot get away with.

Aaaaaand, she will test us…in theory…just in case.

I'm just beginning to get used to her turning eleventeen

Long story, short: not only have we deluded ourselves into believing that this kid would most likely be the easiest one to raise, we NEVER had a chance.

Oh, but she's soooooooo cute, right?!? YES!!! Also, to her advantage, she's smart and presents a list of reasons why she should be allowed to [enter whatever it is her siblings were NOT allowed, here] which, more often than not, leaves me snort-laughing and, well, when I say we NEVER had a chance, I mostly mean…me.

For example: my insisting that she does NOT in fact need to get one of those $$ binders, this late into the school year and then finding an email (sent to my business account, btw) outlining the reasons why she does so need to get one of those $$ binders:

REASONS WHY I DO SO NEED TO GET A $$ BINDER

1.) I would be way more organized throughout the year.

2.) We would save more money with just buying one big binder rather than two smaller ones.

3.) They have more space and it will allow me to have easy access to everything in my binder.

4.) As you can see my binders right now are falling apart.

5.) It would allow me to have more space for every subject, have space for my writing materials, and it would be 1 binder.

6.) With this binder I won't have to use a book bag.

7.) This binder would take a lot of weight off of my shoulders, I would carry the binder and my lunch, that’s it!

8.) You would not have to worry about it breaking because they are really good, and it may even last until 7th grade that saves even more money!

9.) And did I mention that it saves money???????!!!!!

10.) All of these reasons make up the binder of my dreams.

Aaaaaaand, then she included "here are some pictures" with her closing statement:

I hope you choose to buy this binder with me and as you can see I'm leaning towards the purple color.

Sinceriously,

How could I say no, right?!? RIGHT?!?

Riiiiiiight, but what if I told you that she ALSO copied her list of reasons why she does so need to get one of those $$ binders and then shared it with me in a Google doc?!?

You see what I mean?!? We…okay, fine…I NEVER HAD A FRIGGIN' CHANCE, with this kid.

[sound of crickets, chirping]

Aaaaaaand, you are NOT helping.

[blows bangs out of eyes, drains coffee mug]

She had me at number 8 (don't judge!) and, now that she has one of those $$ binders (yes, it's purple, dammit), it IS one less thing I can √ off of my list for next year, right?!?

[what IS it with ALL these crickets, anyways]

Stupid school supplies, dumbass Google docs.

© 2003 – 2013 This Full House

New and improved with a fan page on Facebook and everything!

May 9, 2013
Who Knew Flashcards Could Be Soooo Funny?!?
The 50 nifty, funny states.

With all the technology available at their fingertips (even our school district started going paperless, two years ago) it is sort of refreshing to see my kids revert to using low-tech, old school study tools.

For example: making up their own vocabulary flashcards.

What's so funny about vocabulary, or flashcards, you ask?!? Absolutely nothing, I say. Unless, I am helping my youngest study for a BIG test on naming the capitals of all 50 states, using flashcards she made up with special keywords (in parentheses) to help her remember and then acts all surprised when I start laughing…real hard…which made it EVEN funnier.

Okay, fine, I'll show you. This is some of what comes to the mind, when identifying the capital city of each state, to my 11 year-old:
- Arkansas: (Arken saw a _______) little rock and it was good.
- California: (Sock sack) don't remember the reasoning behind this one and I sort of don't want to, either.
- Georgia: (Real housewives) SNORT!!!
- Kansas: (Peek at toes) clearly, they're a bunch of toe-peek-ahs, her Jersey is showing.
- Michigan: (I like to sing) lan'sakes, so do I 🙂
- Minnesota: (Holy) sort of like St. Nicholas, only not.
- New Mexico: (Christmas) speaking of Santa, must be his favorite vacation spot.
- Ohio: (Found America) still up for debate, but we'll go with it.
- New Hampshire: (Another word for wire) took me a while to figure this one out, shuddup.
- North Carolina: (Really?) yes, raleigh.
- Virginia: (Bill Gates) he is rich…mon…duh.
Aaaaaand, the one that made me laugh-snort:
- Alaska: (I know) enough said!
[sound of crickets, chirping]

Clearly, I have the sense of humor of an 11 year-old and who knew people in Alaska speak so funny?!?

© 2003 – 2013 This Full House

New and improved: with a fan page on Facebook and everything!
April 5, 2013
Cape Cod or Bust, Garth (not his real name) fuh-bid!

Yeah, I was thinking about stocking up…BIGTIME!

I nearly tripped over this basket of sage sticks while in Provincetown this weekend (I know, like in Massachusetts, read on!) and swore I could hear fate hollering: heeeeeeeeere's your sign.

If you've been reading my blog for any length of time (most especially, this past summer) then you already know: the #FUBAR runs deep in these here parts.

We're gonna need a bigger boat!

Which is why I was a little hesitant about the last-minute, "Hey I got an idea, how about you
and the kids getaway for the weekend", road trip courtesy of my husband Garth (not
his real name) in a last ditch-effort to give them SOMETHING vacation-ish to write about in school.

Aaaaaand, since they are off from school on Monday and Tuesday for Rosh Hashanah (Shanah Tovah, to all my Jewish friends!) while my husband, on the other hand, is not (dammit!) the timing was sort of good-ish.

On the other, other hand: it is, at the very least, a 5+hour car drive through 5 states of traffic (NJ, NY, CT, RI, MA, enough said!) ALL BY MYSELF.

Moving onto the foot: then again, he knows that my friends find his random acts of spontaneity to be very, very sexy…me, too!

Warmest and bestest welcome…EVUH!!!

So, I texted my friend Sue (a.k.a. As Cape Cod Turns) that night, to let her know that we'd be in town the next night (or, since I had to wait for the kids to get home from school and we'd probably get in around midnight, the day after that) so as to give her plenty of time to…you know…go out, make plans, stock up on some extra sage sticks, or something.

The funny thing is she then told her parents, who then offered up their downstairs for us to stay and so on…and so on…and…well…yes, they are SUPER AWESOME like that.

Provincetown fun, way fun-ner with friends!

We've been going to the Cape since fuh-evuh…as far as the kids are concerned…so they made a list of their favorite memories and it was my job to squeeze 2 weeks of vacation…into 3 days…besides driving them…ummmmm…EVERYWHERE!…and back again, I mean.

[rolls up sleeves]

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September 18, 2012
Nearly Wordless Wednesday: WAY TO GO, HOLLY!!!!

Click to enlarge (go ahead, she won't mind…too much)

That awkward moment when, typically NOT one for being the center of attention, your family HOLLERS YOUR NAME and you kinda…sorta…think it's a little cool…maybe. Don't worry, we promise to be a little less excited for you once college is over and done with…probably not…YO!!!!

© 2003 – 2012 This Full House

June 20, 2012
Happily Ever After, Everything!

She’s quoting her favorite Dr. Seuss: do you like my hat?

Although it seemed like a good idea at the time, the trouble with having so many kids born 2-3 years apart, I never really did sit down and do the math to figure out that perhaps one day we would be celebrating…a couple of major milestones…THAT SAME FREAKING DAY!

Watch out middle school, here she comes!

So, I thought to myself…SELF!…why not throw one GIANT graduation party the following weekend or something and just be done with it?

Self: Okay, ummm, but what about Hope’s birthday?

Me: Ummm, what about it?

Then it suddenly occurred to me (thank you, Self!) this year Hope’s birthday happens to fall on the SAME day as the graduation party, tentatively speaking of course.

Coming to America (these 3 escaped Hungary, as teenagers): my dad (far right) together again with my adopted uncles.

With Father’s Day that Sunday (I think, wait, yeah, I’m pretty sure) then the 4th of July (which, as a 1st generation born American, is really a BIG DEAL at our house) a few short weeks after, well, the rest of the family might as well just sleepover, right?

“Don’t make yourself crazy, Mom!”

I have a REAL bad habit of thinking out loud.

“Just make it ONE BIG HAPPY EVERYTHING PARTY!”

BRILLIANT! Further proof that my kids are SO MUCH smarter than I am. Really. Then, it rained almost ALL week and I started freaking out (because, I am freaky like that) about having to be stuck indoors with 20+ people.

We have 2 seasons here in Jersey: hot and cold.

So, we broke down and ordered a tent just in case. Still. People might want to use the bathroom, or something. So, I tried to pace myself and spent 3 days cleaning and/or rearranging the house.

Her future looks bright, let’s eat cake!

Then, it stopped raining and, well, at least the house is Thanksgiving clean and thank goodness I won’t have to do THAT again…not until…well…next Thanksgiving.

Happy 11th Birthday, Hopey!

Which reminds me (thank you, Self!) I owe this kid a “Happy Birthday” post, but decided to save it for another time (you’re welcome!) because, well, I’m still trying to recover from…you know…EVERYTHING!

Oh, and looky what else I made (DID SO!) courtesy of many, many lost hours spent on Pinterest.

Enough said. In the meantime, if anybody needs me, I’ll be upstairs, trying to convince my kids to help me bring ALL the clean laundry back down from off of my bed.

Our own private little after party.

Once they wake up, of course! Considering today just so happens to be the first day of their summer break…as well…YO!

The end.

© 2003 – 2012 This Full House

June 18, 2012
Barbie the Verklempt Killer

Having been married for nearly 22 years (wait, that makes me sound way too old) or the entire life span of an average college graduate (ugh, never mind) I feel it safe to say that one of the reasons our relationship works is that my husband Garth (not his real name) and I are total opposites.

One of us is emotional and the other more of an intellectual. Guess which one? Go ahead, I'll wait.

If you guessed me as the emotional one, CONGRATULATIONS!!!

[hugs]

You are ABSOLUTELY right in thinking I am less apt to intellectualize feelings and most likely bringing attention to myself (right now, even) showing off my non-verbal communications skillz…in public.

In other words, I'm probably hugging someone…who does NOT like, let alone even wish to be…you know…hugged…right now.

[hugs]

Sorry. I just canNOT help myself. It's in my genes. In fact, I'm raising a houseful of emotional empaths, we're ALL verklempt up in here.

"You want to come into the school's office with me?"

My oldest girl is graduating high school and my youngest is graduating elementary school this week.

[hand to heart]

Aaaaand, I'm trying really, really hard not to be all…you know…verklempt.

"Maybe you'll see some of your old teachers."

My two oldest girls were home from school (I forget why, although it doesn't really matter, considering these days it's a chore for me to remember their names, moving on) and we (okay, mostly me) thought it would be fun to see if they…you know…remember how much fun…school used to be.

"Look, there's your music teacher, Mrs. B!"

We've gone through many, many teachers in the 13 years my kids have attended this school (at least 13, please don't ask me to name them all) however, Mrs. B is definitely a favorite.

"Are you guys still in high school?"

My middle girl pointed to her oldest sister.

"I am, but she's graduating!"

[eyes go wide]

"Now I feel REALLY old!"

I just stood there, nodding my head, not so much because I couldn't think of anything to say (I know, act surprised anyway, okay?) however, teenagers embarrass rather easily (see previous parenthesis) and, well, they're probably already annoyed with me (right now, even) so, I turned my attention to the office staff.

"I wanted to thank you ladies for all of your…"

[cough]

"…for all of your…

[choke]

"…support over the years."

[clears throat]

"Seeing as it's our last year at this school and everything."

[fans face with hands]

"Thank you…[cough]…all…[choke]…for all that…[clears throat]…you do."

This time, it was Mrs. B's turn to put her hand to her heart.

"Your getting ME all verklempt!"

And so it goes. I do that to intellectuals.

"Want to watch a movie together, like we used to when you were little?"

My oldest was exempt from all but one of her finals this week (yes, I know, she does NOT get it from me) so, she offered to help sit with my youngest (she's home sick from school, it's how we roll) and then came running back into the kitchen.

[places hand on heart]

"She…[cough]…picked…[choke]…a Barbie…[clears throat]…movie!!!"

Funny, I always thought her more of an intellectual, she MUST get that part from her father.

© 2003 – 2012 This Full House

June 11, 2012
Last Week, Before the Last Week, Of the Last Week of School

Another typical Memorial Day weekend at our house, with more birthday cake!

We opened our pool yesterday and by we I mean Garth (not his real name) did almost ALL the heavy lifting, bending, or basically anything requiring any sort of physical effort, the ability to use BOTH hands (at the same time) or a superior range of motion, while I ran (by ran I mean limp, with style) and got him stuff he asked for, from the shed, or the garage (either of which, turns out, would prove to be a scavenger hunt) in an effort to make me feel…you know…useful.

It's the last week, before the last week, of the last week of school and, well, my kids have already checked out…mentally…as of last week…me, too.

This year, however, is a little different.

My oldest is…[cough]…excuse me, but my first born baby girl…[clears throat]…I cannot wrap my head around the fact that…[swallows HUGE lump in throat]…UGH!

You see? I can't even admit I have a daughter old enough to graduate high school…[clears throat]…without manufacturing mucous the size of a grapefruit (you're welcome!) so, it stands to reason, I should not be allowed to speak, let alone trusted with doing something…you know…useful.

Like, actually start planning stuff for Holly's high school graduation party and Hope's 11th birthday which happen to fall on the same day (GAH!) instead, I beat my head against the wall and try to figure out how I am going to pull it ALL off?

"Don't make yourself crazy, Mom!"

I know, too late, still, my youngest is also graduating 5th grade this year…[cue mucous]…and, well, after 13 years of complaining about the parking and stuff, now what am I gonna do?!?

"Just make it ONE BIG HAPPY EVERYTHING PARTY!"

[blink-blink-blink]

BRILLIANT!!! I mean, it's not like we haven't done it before (see: The Seven Years of Mommyblogging and Happy Everything) and gosh but I love my kids!!!

"Why are you wearing your brother's boxers?"

So, I'm going over my "Ignore this stuff any longer and you will live to regret it, if you haven't already, trust me on this one!" list when my youngest stumbled into the kitchen this morning and, well, I really should know better to ask, but am not in my right mind…remember?

"Beeeeeecause, they don't fit him anymore?!?"

Guess what just made the top of the list? Go ahead, I'll wait!

© 2003 – 2012 This Full House

May 29, 2012
So Emotional, I Blame Glee (and @BurghBaby!)

Just another Gleek rocking out to Whitney!

Yes, yes, I know. Then again, I am a total dork from waaaaaay back. Who knew being dorky/geeky/nerdy/whatever-y would be so cool and would you believe that I have NEVER blogged about Glee?

Truth be told, I sometimes forget it's on.

Me: Why aren't you in the shower?
10 year-old: Glee is on!

Or our resident Gleek forgets to…you know…tell me…for fear of being subjected to my singing along and no, I do NOT blame her.

Last night's episode, however, was a tribute to Whitney Houston and, well, the two of us? We have a history. In fact, we spent many nights on the dance floor together, singing our hearts out and insisting that…you know…it would be really, really, really nice to dance with somebody…DAMMIT!

"Is the show going to end, you know, now that the kids are graduating?"

My 13 year-old son? Not a big fan.

[eyes go wide]

Aaaaaaand…only then did it really hit me…like a ton of 45's (look it up, youngster!) Holy Hannah Montana, I've got a kid graduating, high school, this year!

Aaaaaaand…oh, how I cried…and cried…OH!…and single-dad Burt's speech to his son, Kurt? Admitting that he's not ready to say goodbye and how much he'll miss his only son? I'M BAWWWWWWWWWWLING!!!!

Which begs the question: how in the heck am I going to get it through my own kid's graduation ceremony, without BAWWWWWWWWWWLING, IRL?!?

Ditto!!! Because, in my head I'm still, like, 19 (never mind, just how long ago WAS that, anyways, whip-puh-snap-puh!) except, now I'm rocking out with shorter hair, looser clothing and better fitting shoes…DAMMIT!

"Oh, I forgot tell you mom, a notice came home about my 5th grade graduation."

[one beat, two beats]

I'M BAWWWWWWWWWWLING…AGAIN!!!!

© 2003 – 2012 This Full House

April 25, 2012