This Full House Archive

Category: Raising Teens, Tweens & Killer Dust Bunnies

I don’t remember ordering coffee light, sweet or upside down.

I am SO NOT a morning person, however, as long as there's a cup of coffee handed to me within the first few minutes of opening my eyes, along with a clear path to a vacant bathroom, I'm good. Once I regain the power of speech, typically soon after taking a very hot shower and inhaling another cup of coffee, I'm better.

Which makes entertaining overnight guests a bit problematic.

Unless you happen to live with a morning person, like Garth (not his real name), who also happens to be an early-riser. He is the ying to my….daaaaaaaaang, it's early….wait, I'll help you with the kids, just give me a min….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Melisa stayed over for a few nights last week, she is also a morning person, which means she and Garth (not his real name) spent most mornings….without me….getting in the way of their cheerfulness and everything.

[hurl]

I felt really bad about my non-morningness, so I got up Friday at the same time they did (or maybe it was Thursday, I forget) and tried to be as sociable as, well, one can be; while not being able to speak or see straight, I mean.

Melisa and Garth (not his real name) were in the middle of a conversation — although I'm not sure what they were talking about, I'm pretty sure they were speaking English — so, I grabbed my coffee cup, fired up the Keurig and made my way to the bathroom.

Then all hell broke loose in the kitchen and, well, here's how Melisa told it on her blog:

Having a sitcom moment early one morning when Garth (NHRN) went to pull Liz’s coffee cup out from under the Keurig for her and subsequently getting coffee all over the place because she had put it in there upside-down. After he jumped back a couple of feet as graceful as a gazelle (a really manly one, of course), we both laughed together and shook our heads because “That’s just Liz before her coffee!”

Melisa MADE me take a picture, insisting it as a totally blog-worthy moment, for those of us who need visual aid (raises hand) it sort of went like this:

It's SO NICE to be surrounded by people who really get me AND know how to jump out of the way, real fast.

©2003 -2013 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook and everything!

I'm NaBloPoMo-ing it, feel free to check out what I've NaBloPoMo-ed, so far (PHEW!) and let me know how I'm doing (I mean, 30 posts, in 30 days, really?!?) when you have time, of course!

November 18, 2013
It’s not creeping, I’m just appreciating good curb appeal.

Oh, but if these houses could only talk…

Our friends at GM were kind enough to send us a loaner, this week. They knew Melisa was visiting with us from Chicago and thought I would probably appreciate playing tour guide in a vehicle that…you know…actually works…because they are awesome, like that.

It was so nice to be able to show Melisa all our favorite places here in Jersey and NOT have to worry about breaking down on an off ramp or, even worse, a jug handle (i.e. traffic circle or rotary).

But that is a different post, for another day.

Here's the really awesome part: they let me borrow the car through tomorrow, because they are TOTALLY AWESOME like that, so my husband and I took our middle daughter to visit colleges in Boston.

The weather was beautiful and it actually hit 60 degrees on Saturday, which is EVEN MORE AWESOME, considering we're talking about New England, in mid-November.

I was swiping through the pictures on my cell phone and was once again reminded of my slight addiction to creeping on other people's houses.

Especially at sunset: when the houses take on a warm and inviting glow and each entryway becomes a prelude to a much deeper story that lies within.

We decided to go exploring around Bunker Hill and, well, here are just a few (seriously, I've got a BIG problem) of my favorite captures:

I don't know about my husband, Garth (not his real name), but I'm pretty much ready to move in…as soon as we hit the lottery…HARD!!!…I could totally see myself living here.

In and around Commonwealth Avenue, not so much. Even a car THIS awesome can't avoid the efficiency of the Boston traffic police.

P.S. The check is in the mail…damnit.

©2003 -2013 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook and everything!

I'm NaBloPoMo-ing it, feel free to check out what I've NaBloPoMo-ed, so far (PHEW!) and let me know how I'm doing (I mean, 30 posts, in 30 days, really?!?) when you have time, of course!

November 17, 2013
Thanks for the memories, we miss you already.

Melisa and I drove down to Seaside Heights, yesterday. I hadn't been back since Superstorm Sandy ripped through the Jersey shore a little over a year ago, so it was a bittersweet moment for me. Melisa wrote a beautiful post about our trip to Seaside Park and captures the meaning behind "Jersey Strong," perfectly.

Which is truly ironic, considering this is her first trip to our neck of the woods and that many folks have openly questioned Melisa why, of all places, she would even consider visiting New Jersey.

It's okay, we're used to it. Also, it's mid-November; if I had my choice, I'd probably pick somewhere a little, you know, warmer to spend my frequent flyer miles, too.

Still, it was very important for me that Melisa was made to feel right at home and I asked my kids to help by treating her as if they would any other member of our family.

We invited her to attend my son's last football game of the season with us and, after teasing each other, giggling in unison like a bunch of school girls and then huddling close together (it was like Antarctica cold, last night) my youngest daughter turned around to ask Melisa a question.

"Hey mom…wait…I mean, Melisa…"

I feel it safe to say that…THAT alone…was most likely worth the 1,600 miles.

Aaaaaand, it's okay. I didn't mind one bit, because anyone who knows Melisa would probably agree with me when I tell you that SHE REALLY IS sort of hard to resist, like that.

Thanks for all of the wonderful memories, we miss you already, Melisa.

©2003 -2013 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook and everything!

I'm NaBloPoMo-ing it, feel free to check out what I've NaBloPoMo-ed, so far (PHEW!) and let me know how I'm doing (I mean, 30 posts, in 30 days, really?!?) when you have time, of course!

November 15, 2013
Teens don’t smile, or remember stuff right.

He is super-excited about our lunch date, on the inside!!!

The kids had the day off from school on Friday, so my son and I spent the afternoon testing out the media room at Best Buy.

What?!? Don't tell me we are the ONLY ones to pop open a couple of leather recliners and pretend like we actually live there.

Aaaaaand, if you do not do these sort of things at Best Buy…then, neither do we…because that would be weird.

Aaaaaanyway, we decided to head to the other side of the shopping plaza, to see how many people we could alienate over at the bookstore, when my son experienced a bit of nostalgia.

"Remember when you locked your keys in the car and we almost died?!?"

It's funny how their memories of past events are SO VERY different from mine.

Clearly, they didn't die, but it WAS 10 years ago and revisting the moment (via my blog post's archives, you know, to double-check) was sort of fun, because each of their reactions to “Mommy locked us out of the car, AGAIN!" were so very different.

Holly (who is turning 20, tomorrow, GAH!!!) was 10 and already better at this mothering thing than I was, at the time: ”Good thing I bought those chocolate coins at Michael’s or else we would have starved!”

(Note: we live exactly 4.7 miles away from Michael’s and there is a pizza place within view.)

Heather (who is turning 18, next month, DOUBLE-GAH!!!) was 7, going on 40: “Not again! Why do you always lock the keys in the car when it’s freezing outside. We’re going to freeze! I can’t feel my fingers!”

(Note: It was 50 degrees out.)

Glen (who is turning 15, in January, I JUST CAN'T!!!) was 4 years-old and ALL boy: "Wook at me, I’m fwying….vroooommm!”

(Note: He was running in circles, made himself dizzy, flew right into the concrete wall and fell to the grond, like a rock.)

Hope (who's as good as a teenager, at this point) was 2, every terrible bit of it: “Hopey do! Hopey walk! Hopey get out of cawage, NOW!!!!”

(Note: People were beginning to stare – I had to let the child out who is now fwying, I mean, flying in circles with her brother.)

So, this went on for a few minutes and I kind of chuckle to myself now, thinking of what I would have said, if I saw what the people who were staring at me saw, back then.

"Look!!! There's Daddy, everyone yell HEY to daddy!!!"The children jumped up on the bench, began to wave their hands furiously, chanting "Dad-dee, Dad-dee, Dad-dee…” as we watched Dad-dee drive right past us.

"So, you see, it was DADDY who left us here to die!"

That made him smile. I wasn't fast enough with my camera. Sorry you missed it.

© 2003 – 2013 This Full House

I'm NaBloPoMo-ing it, feel free to check out what I've NaBloPoMo-ed, so far (PHEW!) and let me know how I'm doing (I mean, 30 posts, in 30 days, really?!?) when you have time, of course!

November 11, 2013
I don’t need anyone to tell me what a bad mother I am.

If you were to ask me my BIGGEST parenting struggle over the years — as a mom of 4 kids under the age of 10 vs. as a mom of teens — the answer would STILL be the same: I am the Queen of Second-Guessing, my ownself.

Because each and every move we make towards raising our children (good or bad) will also help to form the person they will become.

That's a HUGE responsibility and, sure as my waking up with major bed head and killer morning breath, there is almost always someone ready to make you feel as if you are SO NOT doing it right…no matter what you are doing…right?!?

Then again, we are our own worst critics…especially, parents…most especially, moms…check this out:

A New Perspective For Moms from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

[hat tip: Huffington Post, via my friend Carol's Facebook feed]

The thing is, each of these moms were asked to simply describe themselves, each chose to focus on something negative and I really do wonder how many of us would have done the same gosh-darned thing, right?!?

So, how about this?!? Are you doing the best that you can?!? EXCELLENT!!! Then quit being so harsh on yourselves!!!

Okay, but what about the times when you feel you are NOT doing the best that you can?!?

Well then, MOVE OVER, ROVER…here's a blanket, a warm plate of gluten-free cookies and some tissues…let's just go ahead and watch that video, one more time, shall we?!?

Aaaaand, then maybe we could queue up a couple of good chick-flicks or something, because I sure as heck have got plenty of tissues…YO!!!

©2003 – 2013 This Full House

I'm NaBloPoMo-ing it, feel free to check out what I've NaBloPoMo-ed, so far (PHEW!) and let me know how I'm doing (I mean, 30 posts, in 30 days, really?!?) when you have time, of course!

November 8, 2013
Sisterfriends….

BlogHer '09: where I met up with my friend Jenn for the first time, IRL!

I recently celebrated my 10th anniversary of blogging — yep, I threw myself a REAL BIG party too, in my head, sorry you missed it — which got me thinking about ALL of the wonderful online community of folks I have met and gotten to know, by reading their blogs and watching this space grow, over the years.

BlogHer11: What happens in the Old School Blogger Club, stays in the Old School Blogger Club.

I am also honored to be able to call many out as very dear friends, IRL, too (yes, they know about it!) and then there are those whose connection runs a little deeper and I can't even begin to (nor do I want to) imagine what life would be like, without them.

BlogHer12: dorking around at the MoMA.

Jenn Satterwhite (a.k.a. Mommy Needs Coffee) is one of those people.

We've shared the ups, downs and somewhere in-betweens, while blogging under the influence of children for an entire decade (not an easy feat, just so you know) and we both have, quite literally, watched our kids grow up, online.

There isn't a day that goes by when I don't wish I could just jump climb very carefully into my car and drive over to her house, bearing gifts of pink-frosted cupcakes and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

BlogHer13: enough said.

Today, I want to take this opportunity to personally wish my dear, sweet suh-thuhn friend a very Happy Birthday (in real life, I mean) and to say, "Thank you, Jenn!"

For knowing that I am a dork, but loving me anyway, and for snort-laughing with me…like a boss…I love you, sisterfriend!

©2003 – 2013 This Full House

November 7, 2013
Kids Grow Up, Leaves Continue to Fall, You’ll Get Over It (Okay, now you tell me!)

I was never a big fan of daylight savings time — especially in the spring, when my kids were younger and they would run around at 8:00 p.m., their bodies insisting that…NUH-UH!!!…it's not bedtime, because it's really 7:00 p.m.

On the other hand, I could always come up with a way to put that extra hour we'd get in the fall to good use.

Today, my husband tackled lots of little p.i.t.a. jobs around the house (that multiply quicker than dust bunnies, if left unattended) while my son and I hit the backyard…HARD!!!…and raked the daylights out of all the leaves that seemed to have dropped overnight.

Glen in Autumn of 2000

Now that my kids are older, I can't help but think back to the days when stuff like raking the leaves was actually fun and it doesn't take me very long before I get all…MAH BAYBEEEEEEEES…when did they get SO GROWN?!?…and stuff.

Glen today, raking the daylights out of our backyard.

Then, it's time to drag the tarp filled with wet leaves to the compost pile behind the pool and…DAAAAAANG…if I don't get over the…MAH BAYBEEEEEEEES…pretty quick, too.

Aaaaaand, with snow-shoveling season just around the corner…I'm pretty sure I will continue getting over it…well into springtime 😉

2003 -2013 This Full House with a fan page on Facebook and everything!

I'm NaBloPoMo-ing it, feel free to check out what I've NaBloPoMo-ed, so far (PHEW!) and let me know how I'm doing (I mean, 30 posts, in 30 days, really?!?) when you have time, of course!

November 3, 2013
Teaching our kids how NOT to take a compliment, nailed it!
I made a lot of dumb choices, early in life (okay, fine, very recently too) and now that I’m older (never you mind just how old) do I understand that stupid choices, more often than not, lead to making better decisions, later on.

But, don’t tell my kids…not just yet…okay?!?

Oh, but I feel it safe to say that anyone who knows me (most especially, IRL) would probably agree: my husband is an example of a pretty gosh-darned good pick.

But, this post is NOT about him (you’re welcome, sweetie!) or necessarily even about me.

It is about my husband AND me, because a bulk of our parenting decisions have been based on stuff that we either:
- Experienced ourselves, as children
- We’ve royally screwed up, as young adults
So, we’ve tried to raise our children to be all the things that we were/are not and, at the very least, a mashup of our better parts, like:
- I like to keep things light and encourage self-depricating humor as an art form
- He is super smart and has good sense, especially knowing when to laugh at my jokes
You know, stuff like that. Teaching our kids how to take a compliment, not so much.

(more…)
October 25, 2013
ProTip: Sexual Harassment is No Joke — Guest Post by My 17 year-old Daughter

Dealing with mean girl and mean boy mentality isn't easy, but discouraging meanness in others, outside the classroom, can be real hard — especially, from a teenager's point of view.

Unless, we're talking about sexual harrassment and my 17 year-old daughter happens to be within earshot.

We don't often read about young women standing up for each other (or adults, for that matter) so, I asked Heather if she would mind my sharing her story. She agreed.

So, I then asked her if she would mind writing it herself, which is sort of like my handing over the virtual car keys to an aspiring journalist):

I've never been one to stay quiet when it comes to a situation that I happen to have a strong opinion about. It would probably be better for everyone if I just held up a sign that reads something along the lines of "strong opinion ahead, prepare yourself” every time I open my mouth.

I guess I was just born without a filter. Thanks, Ma.

Sometimes it even comes in handy. For example, I was recently involved in a situation that I just couldn’t ignore:

In the afternoons, there are two extra passengers on my bus. Two boys. The two boys have been irritating my friend since the first day they showed up. Every day, it seems, they have to comment on how good she looks, how cute she is, how they like her outfit, etc.

You may be thinking: “Oh, but that’s sweet. Everyone needs a confidence boost once in a while. What’s the big deal?” Well, the big deal is that they don’t say it in a nice, innocent way. Trust me; when you hear it, it doesn't take a genius to detect the sexual implications and undertones to each and every brutish comment that spills from their mouths.

It makes my friend uncomfortable, and, to be blunt, it disgusts me.

So, a short while ago, the bus came to pick us up from school. We climbed on, plopped down in our seats, and retrieved our headphones, ready to drown out the obnoxious conversations that echoed throughout the parking lot.

My friend was looking at her phone, not paying attention to the rows in front of her, when I glanced up.

One of the boys was holding a notebook over the top of the seat. On the page it said: “I’M HORNY :)"

I was shocked. It was beyond obvious that the message was intended for my friend, but she didn’t see it. I just rolled my eyes and tried to ignore the snickering brats.

Then the notebook rose again.

This time, the page said: “TITS??”

I lost it.

I stood up in my seat, gave them my worst glare – it’s pretty nasty, ask my Mom – and told them that they needed to stop now and that the things they wrote were disgusting.

And what did they do after I yelled? They laughed.

Fortunately for my family – and the faces of the two boys – I didn’t get violent. Instead, I stood up even taller and told them that the situation wasn’t funny at all. I may have used stronger language than that, but I think you get my point without direct quotation.

The entire bus was staring at me in shock. Why was I so angry about some guys making crude comments to a girl? Doesn’t that happen all the time? Aren’t girls used to it?

And therein lies the major issue: nowadays, actions like these are just brushed off and given excuses such as “it happens all the time” or “boys will be boys”.

I’m sorry, I must have missed the memo, but since when has sexual harassment been okay? Since when has it been considered "out of the ordinary" to stand up against someone who’s being altogether disgusting? Since when has speaking your mind not been a thing?

I’m not going to sit there and pretend to be okay with something that I feel is wrong just because no one else seems bothered by it.

And do you want to know what bothers me the most? The fact that I end up feeling like a villain; the fact that I, a seventeen-year-old girl, am labeled a bitch for “taking things too seriously”.

I can take a joke. I just can’t seem to find the humor in sexual harassment or the mistreatment of women.

Can you?

No, sweetie, I most definitely DO NOT!!! Oh, and if you're wondering whether or not her speaking out made a difference: the boys haven't said a word, since. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story and you just go ahead and keep on speaking your mind, Heather. It's how you do.

10/19/13 Edited to add, what Heather didn't mention in the post: she called out the boys for "sexual harassment". They insisted it was NOT sexual harassment. We really NEED to be teaching our young men, differently.

© 2003 – 2013 This Full House

October 18, 2013
Throwback Thursday: We All Fall Down
This week's #tbt post on Instagram & Facebook: This "almost" Full House, Fall 2000

This picture reminds me of just HOW much I love October: warm days, cool nights and I swear you could almost hear my son belly-laughing, after dumping leaves on Heather's head, right?!?

Even today, his middle sister still bears the brunt of Glen's punking and I suspect it's because the reaction he receives is almost always still the same:
- Scrunches nose
- Purses upper lip
- Hands on hips
- Mom reminds Glen to "RUN, BOY, RUN!!!!"
We had just bought that swing set. I remembered growing up with almost the exact same one. Our neighbors were investing in elaborate jungle gym-type stuff, which is fine, but there's something very comforting about trying to touch the top of a tree, in a basket swing.

The belly-laughs, they were many.

10/03/13

Today, the swing set is STILL standing. It's lived through 2 major hurricanes, countless number of snow storms, epic pirate adventures, quite a few Easter egg hunts and more than its fair share of birthdays.

Although the basket swing has been grounded for quite some time, I just haven't had the heart to tear it down.

It's one of the few tangible reminders of just how little my kids really were, having been given the grace to be able to relive my own childhood, through their eyes.

I realize that sooner or later it'll have to come down, before it falls down and hurts someone, but for now it stays.

Besides, you should never EVER turn your back on a pirate or threaten to take his/her favorite ship away, like we did, this past summer.

"What do you mean you're taking the swing set down?!?"

Seems the kids aren't ready to get rid of it, we had a virtual mutany on our hands.

"It's not like it's in the way or anything!"

The same can be said for their broken-down Momma, just so you know.

"Can't we just call it the world's biggest lawn ornament, or something."

Not for nothing, but I bet there's a story behind all those fugly lawn ornaments too, savvy?!?

But THAT'S another blog post 🙂

© 2003 – 2013 This Full House
October 3, 2013