This Full House Archive

Category: Raising Teens, Tweens & Killer Dust Bunnies

  • How I Strive to Be the Mother My Kids Do NOT Remember!

    This-full-house-70's

    I remember when this was taken.  The year was 1971.  I was my youngest daughter's age — although, I look a lot…you know…bigger — it was the day that the Woodbridge Center Mall first opened its doors and, ironically, Abraham & Strauss, Orbach's and Sterns are now all out of business.

    My parents have tons of pictures like this.  This one's in pretty bad shape, but I promised to go through and save as many of their photos, digitally, whenever I could (I mean, they've got boxes and boxes of 'em) but, it's become very difficult.  Harder than they could ever imagine and it's not because my parents don't have a computer, either.

    I just realized, for the first time, how much I really do look like my mother and it's killing me.

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  • Get Away from My Pretend Workout Crush, You Witch!

    I hate having my picture taken.  Sometimes, I look pretty good (see photo to the right – taken by Dawn on our trip to Philadelphia and now I am shamelessly using it each and every blessed chance I get) then, there are those times when…well…I'm still waiting for Busy Mom to delete this sucker!

    Liz-this-full-house-bad-angle
     

    I smile, turn a little too much to one side and…BAM…my eyes disappear, I grow a couple of chins and can you say…bad angle?

    Still.

    I have come to terms with the fact that I may very well be the most photogenically-challenged person on the planet.  Unfortunately, no amount of Photo Shop can erase the fact that, for the last couple of years, my body has consistently gone south, for the winter, too.

    So, I joined a gym and not only because my sister-in-law is also a member — although, sweating alongside one another can be a truly bonding experience — the workout place is right next door to Shoprite (convenient) which has a Dunkin' Donuts, inside (YUM) and there are no long term contracts to sign!

    It is exercise nirvana and great for serial quitters, like me!

    Until.

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  • My Marriage Is A Bad Hallmark Card Moment , Just Waiting To Happen, Sort Of

    My husband, Garth (not his real name) and I had a pretty big argument, the other night (I know, act surprised anyway) and seeing as tomorrow's Valentine's Day just makes the fact that …you know…I started it, not to mention that it was about really stupid stuff, just increases the suckage factor.

    Even after I tried to make amends, by initiating conversation, he still would NOT talk to me.

    "The kids are in bed."

    [silence]

    Not only is silence deafening, it hurts.  

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  • Why I Want to Marry Tim Hawkins, or Hire Him As My Manny!

    Warning: Viewers may want to think about emptying their bladders, before, you know, viewing — I’m just sayin’!

    My-signature

    © 2009 This Full House and This Full House Reviews – All Rights Reserved.

  • Flip-Worthy Moments: Outing The Boy On His Birthday, or How To Record the Last 10 Years in 2 Minutes, or Less!

    The-boy-is-10
    The-boy-blue
    My Little Boy Blue, we came awfully close to losing you.

    But, wait…there's more!

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  • Old House, Has Good Bones

    Nest

    It was a rundown cape, on a rather large piece of property choked by over a
    dozen trees.  I still remember that first day; my father unlocking the front door and
    being surprised to find the stray dog, the previous tenants had left
    behind, still alive.

    Then, the pipes froze, my father forced open the cellar door, the
    entire front wall caved in and I don't know who cried more – me, my
    brother or my parents.

    Still, my twin brother and I were 12-years-old, sharing the same bedroom and my parents couldn't live with my grandmother's abusive husband…one…minute…longer.

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  • Nearly Wordless Wednesday: What’s My Name, Beyotch?


    Doofus-on-the-couch
    [Insert doofus-type caption here…]

    In celebration of Hump Day (yay!) I'm holding a little caption contest – because, Doofus has gotten into a lot of trouble lately and the ding-dang dog is getting on my last nerve – so, what's in it for you?
    Doofus-dog!
    No, just kidding, actually there's this really cool calendar printed by our local animal shelter and I'd love to send one of you guys a copy.

    Calendar_Cover08 

    Isn't it sweet!?!?

    Can't wait to see what you guys come up with – retail value of the calendar is $13.00 and all proceeds benefit the Monmouth County SPCA – I'm asking The Boy (he's turning 10, this month) to pick the winning caption, after I close comments, sometime after school on Friday 1/16, since my son has finally admitted that the Doofus-dog is the closest thing to a brother he's gonna ever get!

    [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed]

    Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
    Tag, you're it:

    Good luck!

    My-signature 

    © 2008 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

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    This
    is where I pimp my stuff:  Is online video gaming safe for kids and Xbox 360 vs. Wii – what's the diff?  Check out our family review & trust me, you won't wanna miss THIS GIVEAWAY!!!

  • Flip-Worthy Moments & Delurking Day ’09

    Today's Flip-Worthy Moment is brought to you by my next door neighbor, who wants to know:
    Is it selfish to expect older kids to help take care of their younger siblings?

     Part II – Continued…after surprise visit from in-laws…and patting down the stray hairs that were sticking outta my head in Part I…UGH:

    Please, for the love of all that is flip-worthy, let me know what you're thinking…okay?

    Delurking2009 copy

    Oh and, by the way, it's Delurking Day — yes it is, my friend Jodifur and Rude Cactus said so — but, (since, I am a SELFISH MOM and all) would it be too much to ask you (if you haven't, already) to pop on over to my Blogging Out Hunger post and leave a comment there, too…pretty please?

    You see, Stop & Shop will donate $1.00 for every comment I can get…up to $300…to the Community Food Bank of New Jersey!!!

    My-signature 

    © 2008 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

    ——————————————————————–

    This
    is where I pimp my stuff:  Is online video gaming safe for kids and Xbox 360 vs. Wii – what's the diff?  Check out our family review & trust me, you won't wanna miss THIS GIVEAWAY!!!

  • Why I Made My Kids “Friend” Me on Facebook!

    DSCN0002

    O…M…G…don't even!

    My middle girl turned 13, last month (someone hold me!) and used her birthday money to order the really cool camera that I have been coveting (these darn kids get EVERYTHING!) and, after we got home from having her stitches removed this week, Thing Two was thrilled to find it waiting for her at the front door!

    "Here, try it!"

    Typically, I hate having my picture taken and consider myself severely photogenically-challenged.  It's okay.  I'm down with that.

    "O…M…G…what are you trying to do?"

    Gosh, but kids make me feel so stupid…sometimes.

    "Uh, don't kids do peace-out anymore?"

    Judging by the look on her face, apparently, not really.

    "No, we just do peace."

    I know I'm just a stupid parent and all (seriously, with 2 teenagers in the house, never felt dumber) but, didn't I just say that?

    "Will you take a picture of me for Facebook?"

    Yes, the day she turned 13, I allowed Thing Two to sign up for a Facebook account (I mean, her 15-year-old sister has one) and it's really no big deal…I'm on it, too…besides, I'm her mom and MADE her "friend" me!

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  • Would You Be, Could You Be, My Neighbor?

    [Yes, I am STILL Soliciting Comments for Charity:  Currently at 130 comments!  Okay, so I'm BLOGGING OUT HUNGER and totally willing to beg for someone
    else's food, this week – I know I'm no Dooce, but won't you consider
    helping reach my goal of 300 comments, for charity, even for a Dork,
    like me?]

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    Urkel

    We live on a very busy street, used by commuters as a throughway between the train station and county road, so my husband Garth (not his real name) and I have always tried to remain vigilant about keeping the kids safely locked away in our big backyard.

    Someone came knocking at our front door yesterday and, of course, all 4 of my kids came running from every direction to, you know, see who it was.

    "It's our neighbor!"

    Silence.

    "Which one?"

    We've lived in this house for 15 years and, sadly, I'm on speaking terms with only one of them – my next door neighbor.

    "It's the one you like!"

    Oh, thank goodness.

    "I got some of your mail, by mistake."

    So, I invited her in; we spent the next few minutes catching up (has it really been THAT long) and parted on good terms.

    "Maybe we can get-together; especially, if Mr. Screw Up keeps delivering each other's mail."

    It's not that we don't like each other – I pretty much get along with most everybody – but, I've got 4 kids, she's only got the 1, I'm almost never home and she pretty much thinks I'm nucking futz, anyway.

    But, she likes my kids.

    The neighbor on the other side of the fence (you know, the one I don't like) hates my kids and has yelled at them, for being too loud…playing in the pool…on numerous occasions!

    "Keep it down, over there!"

    Can't blame him, too much – they don't have kids.

    So, TV Squad posted a list of 9 least-wanted TV neighbors and, I'm thinking, we must be pretty high on some of our neighbor's list.

    Wanna see?

    Borrowing mommy's goofy glasses – here's the daily lineup:

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