This Full House Archive

Category: Raising Teens, Tweens & Killer Dust Bunnies

First Monday, Our Stinky House Contest and Mother’s Day, OH MY!

Welcome to the 1st Monday of the month and you know what that means, right?

[sound of crickets chirping]

Besides catching up on tons of laundry from last week, I've got this little column over at the Imperfect Parent — yeah, I don't know how that happened, either — and, this month, I'm opening up (for the first time) about how I Remember Mama, why I hate the dark, going down into basements, cleaning out closets, or how I try NOT to remember anything else before the age of 12.

Because, I am ALL about over-sharing.

[takes deep breath]

Speaking about dirty laundry, remember last week, when I admitted that, you know, my house stinks?

Well, I did it — no, not the stinky part — I entered the girls' room (all 3 of my daughters share a bedroom) into the My House Stinks Contest. Why? Well, did I mention that all 3 of my daughters share a bedroom? Yes. Okay, but did you know that the walls are purple? Okay. So, then you already know that it is DESPERATELY in need of a fresh coat of paint, or 2 dozen, right?

Help me win a room makeover and I'll love you, forever — vote for us, here!

So, what does Mother's Day have to do with all this? Absolutely, nothing. Besides the fact that it's this weekend and, you know, I'll be too busy running around wishing everyone else a "Happy Mother's Day" to celebrate, my own!

[heavy sigh]

Feeling sorry for me, yet?

[sound of crickets chirping]

Okay, I'll shuddup, now GO VOTE!!!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

May 4, 2009
My House Stinks, How About Yours?

[EDITED TO ADD: IT'S OFFICIAL, WE'VE ENTERED THE MY HOUSE STINKS CONTEST – VOTE FOR US AND I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER, I SWEAR!]

I don't know about you, but there isn't a day that goes by when I'm NOT saying stuff, like, "Ewww," or "Wait, my sock is stuck to the floor," and the ever-popular "What's that smell!?!?"

Oh, you don't…uh-huh…well, you must not have kids then.

Anyhow, so, I get this email yesterday from James of Dutch Boy's "Team Stinky" (I kid you NOT!) wondering, "Do you have the ugliest, stinkiest room in America?" And I'm all, like…wow, he must read my blog and…um…let me think.

With three girls, sharing one bedroom…oh, boy…uh, SHYAH, I've got proof that theirs is stinkafiably (yes, it's a word!) the fugliest room in our house and totally submitting it as an entry into the My House Stinks contest!

Why?

First place wins $5,000 and 50 gallons of paint; 2nd prize gets $2,500
and 25 gallons of paint and 3rd prize is still worth $1,000 and 10
gallons of Refresh.

The girls are getting new bedroom furniture, today (thank you, Mama and Papa) and, in my mind, I had already committed most of yesterday to getting their room into shape (I know, ironic, isn't it?) just in time, really, lest the shiny new white furniture be spat out, like holy water, from the mouth hell.

So, I sent a note to Twitter (in case, you know, I went missing, or something) and headed in, sans shower and donning my protective mommy gear.

WARNING: ENTER WITH CAUTION – THE USE OF PROTECTIVE GEAR IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED – GET READY TO BE AMAZED!

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May 1, 2009
10 Years After Columbine: How Sometimes We Just Forget to Say Goodbye

The columbine that grows in our garden underneath the playroom window.

10 years ago, my oldest daughter was preparing for graduation ceremonies with her pre-kindergarten class, while my middle girl spent the afternoon with her "lunch bunch" pals and I attempted NOT to cry as I desperately tried to nurse my infant son.

I was unsuccessful on both counts.

Little did I know, the tears I shed that day would be no match to the gut-wrenching pain of watching my 15 year-old child walk out the door, without saying goodbye…again.

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April 20, 2009
Beware, Doofus Dog on Duty!!!
Welcome to the This Full House 3rd Annual Spring Break Staycation — where wearing our pajamas and sliding around the house in dingy socks are standard issue — this year, the kids and I have got lots of laid back and fun things planned for the next few days:
- Sleep in
- Color eggs with Mama and Papa
- Sleep in
- Visit with my twin brother and his wife in Ft. Dix
- Sleep in
- Go to Grandma's house for Easter
- Sleep in
- Visit with Aunt Cheryl and Uncle John in Cape May
- Sleep in
- Sleep in
- Sleep in
Especially, since Heather (formerly known as, Thing Two) received a clean bill of health from her surgeon…can I get HANDSLAP!?!?…and, after 6 months of riding the emotional roller coaster from hell, my 13-year-old is ABSOLUTELY THRILLED that she won't be getting back on the operating table, anytime soon…can I get a YEEHAW!?!?

[deep sigh of relief]

It's so great to be able to, you know, breath….again. So, I'm taking a few days offline, with the exception of one quick and very important blogging date, to spend a low-tech-timeout with my kids.

Except, for the totally tricked out car we get to drive around in…for little while, at least…but, more on that later.

Oh, and my husband Garth (not his real name) started a new job, so he can't get any time off right now (no worries, he's very, very happy to be working…period) so, I'm leaving Doofus-dog in charge.

Knock before entering or he will…

French you like a cheap porn star!!!

In the meantime, I've got a new post up at New Jersey Moms Blog and I'd love to hear what you guys are up to…next week (delurking for a dork WILL get you into heaven, donchaknow?) oh, and I'm holding an Open House Blog Tour so, you are more than welcome to share your links there, as well.

[lick]

Have a great week, everyone!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
April 10, 2009
Because, Big Mommies Don’t Cry and So What?

My 13 year-old thinks I have mad "mommy face" skillz…it's my new Twitter look…way different from the more professional and much happier-looking me (see sidebar at right) right?!?!?

My husband, Garth (not his real name) comes from a long line of Thompsons, whose family roots date back to early American history, while I am descended from…well…pretty much everyone (who would admit it, anyway) or, nearly every East European nation, depending on where its border was situated, at the time.

You think that's funny, you should have seen our wedding!

My husband agreed with the wedding planner (who just so happened to be, you know, me) that we should give up the tradition of separating the groom's side from the bride's side at the church and opted to toss everyone in and mix 'up both sides of our family, but good.

Or else, risk the chance of befuddling our guests into choosing between the extremely wet and wild crowd stuffing each other full with tissues, or the more straight-backed and dry-humored side of the church.

Guess which one my side of the family would have sat on and guess who cried SO HARD, just the other day, our kids thought it somehow MUST have been their fault and quickly started blaming each other (big time) and then BEGGED to move in with their grandparents???

Go ahead, I'll wait.

(more…)

April 1, 2009
Co-ed Sleepovers: Yay, Nay or NO FREAKIN’ WAY?

Growing up and letting go, one child at a time!

Remember the other day? You know, when I first realized that my 7-year-old daughter admittedly accepted the fact that it's tough being friends with a girl and NOT be sucked into all the meanness?

How do I know this?

Because, I was a girl (once) and STILL feel the sting of being singled out for wearing a pale lemon yellow body suit, without a training bra, in the 3rd grade and (especially, if you were a girl once) you know that some girls grow up to be moms and are raising their girls the same exact way.

Or, not.

Right, or wrong, the girl can't help it…because, she's a girl.

"So, did you hear that So-and-So had a boy sleepover at her 13-year-old daughter's party?"

[eyes go wide]

At this point in my life, I don't insist on getting to involved in my kids affairs…as much as I used to…I mean.

"Yeah, actually I did, and my kid was invited and went to that same party, too."

Unless, however, it was my 13 year-old daughter and I found out a boy attended the same sleepover party….FROM ANOTHER MOTHER???

"Oh, but it's okay…he's gay!"

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March 27, 2009
Mommy the Frenemy Slayer

Growing up, I didn't have a lot of friends. Girls, I mean. I guess it was around the time I entered the 2nd grade (my youngest girl's age) when I realized that little girls weren't very nice.

In fact, I quickly learned that some little girls could be very, very mean, too.

"Look she's got boobies!"

I'd like to believe that, like me, Buffy has since grown up, gotten over the fact that she felt the need to single me out, in front of the entire 3rd grade class, for wearing a pale lemon yellow body suit, without a training bra, but is raising her children with a little more common sense and compassion.

I doubt it, though.

Once bitten, twice shy. Yep, that's me and — raising 3 girls of my own, I feel it safe to say — these days, I'm thinking of tapping into one of my veins and stocking up on some anti-venom.

Seriously.

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March 25, 2009
Video Blogging: Cinderella Doesn’t Live Here, Anymore!

In fact, in light of recent events, can Cinderella even spell the word extravagant, I don’t think so!!!

Visit This Full House Vlogs and/or This Full House Vimeo Channel – we’re open all night!

© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

March 23, 2009
What’s My Name, Damnit?

Thing Two's bridging ceremony to Junior Cadets, last year, at least I think that's where we were and what my daughter's name is.

I was in the middle of yelling at my middle girl — yes, I holler at my kids, all the time, act surprised anyway — and then I did the unthinkable.

"Don't walk away from me…uh…er…um…Thing Two, COME HERE!!!"

I forgot my 13-year-old's name.

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March 20, 2009
Batman is Asleep and Wonder Woman Has Her Period, Now What?

Ever have one of those days/weeks/months when, you know, all those good intentions you woke up with (like, admitting that perhaps it's time someone wiped the dog snot off the windows) end up getting flushed right down the toilet, along with the rest of the crap life has handed you, in just one morning?

No, I do NOT resemble, in any way, shape or form, Wonder Woman (damnit) and I don't have my period.

"Thank you, Jesus!!!"

Shuddup, Garth (not his real name!) and go back to sleep.

You see, my husband and I have been handed a plethora of crap, this week (I know, nice visual, you're welcome) gosh, but I hate, Hate, HAte, HATe, HATE IT when life happens, right?

My friend (and fellow Jersey Mom, Vanessa) already admitted that the shower is her secret weapon and I was all, like, yah, me too!

Except, my secret weapon has always been toilet paper.

To prove it, I dug out an old blog post from 2005 (gosh, but it seems like SUCH a long time ago) when I switched from Typepad, to WordPress.com, but now I'm back with Typepad, but not before forgetting to backup and losing all my files (did I mention, I'm a Gemini, oh and a DORK?!?) save for a few on my hard drive.

So, grab yourselves a beverage and step into my mom cave…if you DARE!

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March 13, 2009