Category: Raising Teens, Tweens & Killer Dust Bunnies

  • Around the Clotheslines and Through the Drainage Pipes to Grandmother’s House We’d Go

    Like a lot of (ahem) kids our age, my brother and I grew up watching Sesame Street.  Except, in the summer – when we would disappear, soon after breakfast and stay gone, until lunch, or when one of us noticed that…UH-OH!…when the heck did those street lights come on?

    Then, we ALL hauled ass home in order to avoid a beating.

    Yeah, I know. There were a lot of us latch key  kids, back then.  It was a different time.  Still.  I'm raising my kids pretty much the same way (with a lot less beatings, of course) on the other hand, I can also understand how some folks (like me) would find it difficult to let go of their own childhood and allow their kids the chance to fail, let alone, take risks.

    Personally, I draw the line at drainage pipes.

    Still.  My parents, my in-laws and even my brother think that I do way too much WITH my kids, but my bro gets a pass, because he doesn't have any…kids, I mean.

    But, did you ever try telling a kid that:

    "Sorry, mommy can't come and help your class re-create the Tower of Pisa, using macaroni as a composition to maximize the use of texture, rather than color, okay sweetie?"

    Aaaand then get a phone call from her teacher, because no one else signed up and she knows that, you know, you happen to work from home.

    What's the right answer?

    So, yeah, maybe parenting is sort of like trying to re-create the Tower of Pisa, in macaroni, it's all about balance.  Nuh-uh, more like a juggling act.  Because, you know, the ball has got to drop, sooner or later? 

    "Who's the leader?"

    Glen Fun Day 1 (2)

    "Glen's the biggest one, he's the leader!"

    Judging by my son's face, you can tell that, you know, he's so NOT used to being a leader and is more like a I'll just dip my toe in the water and watch to see which one of you guys floats, or not, sort of guy. 

    Glen Fun Day 2

    Still.  It's supposed to be Fun Day, right?  Except, we called it "field day" and I don't ever remember playing this game.  Then again, they don't give out medals anymore…either.  It's all about team work, right?  Except, if you're the
    first guy in line and can see the ship starting to sink.

    Glen Fun Day Winner 

    But, this was not one of those days and, well, it was just nice to see the kid smile and NOT be so self-conscious…all the time…like, his mother. Congratulations, my son, way to win one for Team Thompson!

    "Can you sign me out of school, early?"

    As a matter of fact…NO!

    "Mommy's got some work to do."

    Like, convince an almost-8-year-old that paying the $5 so she could slap a tutu on her head, go to school on "Juvenile Arthritis Costume Day" and dress like a flower was NOT a bad idea, at all.

    Hope Bloomed

    Then again, she IS braver than ALL of us put together (shuddup, Bro!) can you tell?

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

  • Just Another Manic Fun Day

    Mom and hope on fun day 2009It's only the second week in June and the month is already hitting me like a ton of bricks.  What, you too?  Sheesh.  I thought May was bad. 

    When I say bad, of course, I mean like "Christmastime" bad.

    Hands are out and asking me and Garth [not his real name] for, well, you got a couple of bucks for school store, or something?

    Yeah, kids here in Jersey are in school until the 23rd so, you know, off we go.

    Today, I'm headed out (hopefully, before the rain hits, dagnabit) because, I promised to visit my son on his Fun Day. 

    He's in the 4th grade and I normally stop going to Fun Day after they're in 3rd, because, well, in my opinion — after attending 9 consecutive years, times 4 kids — it pretty much stopped being fun, 2 kids ago.

    Here's a refresher course of how kids got to school here:

    Kindergarten – Grade 3
    Grade 4 and Grade 5
    Grade 6 – Grade 8
    Grade 9 – Grade 12

    Aaaaaand, did I mention, I've got a kid in each one of those schools?

    [unplugs phone and hides checkbook]

    But, Glen's been sick with the viral infection from hell — actually, we've had someone home sick since Memorial Day — and it's his first day back to school and I don't have a kid home, you know, sick…so, off I go.

    In the meantime, I've got a new article up over at my monthly column on Imperfect Parent (the lovely folks who help me keep the milk money flowing) it's my homage to Father's Day (la homage des la fete des peres, or something like that) entitled, "In His and Her Shoes" and you're more than welcome to click on over and read it, if you'd like.

    Then again, you don't have to, just tell me I'm pretty, or something and I'll love you forever.

    [click]

    DAYUM, works every time 🙁

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

  • Garth [not his real name] Exposed and Nearly Emasculated

    Garth and Me

    I've been blogging for nearly 6 years, now (I know, I'm old, shuddup!) but, this is the first picture I have ever posted of my husband, Garth [not his real name] EVER and it pretty much sums up his personality, perfectly. 

    Grossed out, yet?  Good.  Because, well, you WILL NOT buh-leeve the story I am about to tell you.

    Why?  Well, not only am I about to break another cardinal blogging sin, because, after 6 years, folks are finally beginning to question whether Garth [not his real name] really exists [waves to Amber] but, my husband has already told EVERYONE and his hairdresser, even (who happens to be a woman) about our attempts at an at-home-do-it-yourself vasectomy and went as far as showing ALL the women in his office, you know, the scar!

    Aaaaand, before I begin, this would be a terrific time for you to grab a warm
    (or, cool) beverage and for my MIL to click on ahead and read
    something…um…else.

    Go ahead, I'll wait.

    Is she gone?  Good.  Sorry mom, but this story is just too funny NOT to tell and, well, may even save a penis, or two.

    (more…)

  • Hump Day Diddy Dumbs: Tripping Down Memory Lane, One Kid at a Time!

    Mom heather and tonsil 

    Mommy, Heather and Tonsil (whose funny little fuzzy hat is pictured above) the stuffed dog we gave to Heather at the hospital, right before she had her tonsils removed, 3 years ago.

    Little did I know that, 3 years later, my 13 year-old would be facing yet ANOTHER surgery and thank goodness for warm fuzzy little friends, like Tonsil!

    My husband, Garth [not his real name] downloaded some pictures (like the one of Heather and me, above) from his cell phone the other day and, after copying the pictures onto my laptop, I was surprised to see that some of them date back as far as 2005!

    I mean, not only is he STILL walking around with the same old cell phone — while, I am almost done beating the heck outta my third — but, he's totally getting off on the fact that I do NOT remember a lot of these pictures, or have long forgotten to blog about them!

    Bad mom, good dad wins!  So, once again, I seemed to have tripped on the way to winning the Mom of the Year Award.  Aaaand, only now decided to blog about stuff I probalby should have, before (you're welcome) just because I can, damnit!

    Warning:  Gratuitous pictures of children ahead for no other purpose than to make this mom feel a little better about being, you know, me.

    In other words, OH LORD, Mommy's tripping again!

    (more…)

  • Motherhood Should Come With a Set of Ear Plugs, Right?

    Brain
    YES, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY and I'd wear a dress, if only someone would tell me where the hell the rest of my body went, 'cause I seemed to have misplaced it, along with my reading glasses DAMNIT!

    Holy crap, but I can't believe it's Wednesday…already?  I mean, wasn't it just Friday and weren't we all just thrilled about celebrating another 3-day weekend?

    [shakes head and blows bangs out of eyes]

    Except, those of us with sick kids at home…I mean…I guess my husband, Garth [not his real name] and I should be really happy we didn't have any plans for Memorial Day, right?

    In fact, my 7-year-old was home yesterday (it WAS Tuesday, right?) and was kind enough to share the creeping crud with her mother (that would be me) because, here at This Full House of creeping crud and all things crusty, it's how we roll.

    [yawn]

    Aaaaand, I can't believe that tomorrow is my birthday (never mind, which one) or, that I have absolutely NOTHING planned.

    Why?

    Frankly, it's been one hell-of-a-year (for you too, huh?) and I'm hoping to feel at least a little better (okay, A LOT) and get-together with my twin brother (you know, SSG Kat, right?) this coming weekend.

    [cough]

    Barring any latent attacks of the creeping crud, regardless that I'm celebrating yet ANOTHER anniversary, of my 29th birthday, or the fact that I do NOT look as old as I feel, right?

    Lalalalalala, I can't hear you!

    In the meantime, I've got a post up over at New Jersey Moms Blog on how I've lost my mind and plan to take over the world.  No, not really.  Just don't make any solid plans, for the next few days, okay?

    Mind my mommy brain on the way out!

    Liz@thisfullhouse signature

    © 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

  • Sew, What’s Love Frickin’ Got to Do With It, Anyway?

    Hopey-pinned

    My oldest daughter had this really great idea.  You see, she needed to come up with a sewing project for a benefit fashion show at the high school, "Barbie Through the Ages."

    What — I didn't pick the name — but, it was going to count as a HUGE part of her final grade, so, you know, what was I supposed to do?

    "What do you have to make?"

    Because, I do NOT sew, or help "make" anything, if it means having to use something other than hot glue gun, let alone…mechanical…with running parts and a very sharp object, that puts holes in things, on purpose.

    "I have to make a wedding dress."

    Holy crap, that should be easy, right?

    "Actually for the wedding party."

    Oh, okay, still I'm guessing a "NO!" on the hot glue gun.

    "How about if I sew a dress for Barbie's sister, Kelly?"

    Um, okay.

    "Yeah, and maybe even get my baby sister to model it, too, right?"

    Riiiiight.

    Like, most everything that comes (and goes) around in this house, it sounded good, at first…on paper…but, if I had a dollar for each time one of my kids came home with a school project, that I did NOT have to buy, sell, or help them with, the night before, while in a sugar-induced shock, then I'd be poor AND a diabetic, by now.

    Oh, wait…

    (more…)

  • Blogging About Teens, Tweens: Walking Contradictions in the Term Mom Bloggers Unite!

    Go Go's Revisited

    I can't believe that Hopey's 7, going on the Go Go's!

    Last week, there was some backtalk at BlogHer on blogging about teens and, well, seeing as I happen to be raising 2 of them (teens, I mean) along with a couple of other kids, whose names and ages escape me at the moment, I thought…about DANGED time…because, it's not just me. 

    My friends Jenn and Busy Mom were also speaking up and I, for one, am really sick (and tired) about how some folks (you know, the ones who think they know everything) believe moms with teenagers are just itching for good blog fodder…DANGIT…as we, undoubtedly, have nothing to say, or worthwhile to add to this (or, any) conversation…about our DANGED kids!

    Well, then, my friend Melisa, I hate to be the one tell you this, but you ARE a walking contradiction!

    Excuse me, while my Joizey comes out, but are you tawkin' to me?  Of cawse you are.  I got staw-rees that would make even my gran-muthuh go all, like, you go girl!

    [clears throat]

    Becawse…[cough]…beeee-cause, I have always tried to be very careful about the stories I share (regardless of my children's ages) and mindful of whether (or, not) my words will hurt, or embarrass my family (or, the people reading our story) in any way.

    Still.  I'm not perfect. There is always someone ready, willing and very able to prove me wrong and that someone is almost always…one of my kids.

    This is one of those stories.

    (more…)

  • PBN Blog Blast: It’s the Best View in the House, Sort Of

    This-full-house

    The Parent Bloggers Network has teamed up with the folks over at Windex Outdoor All-in-One to help people (like me) find a quick and easy way to see things a little more, you know, clearly.

    [cringe]

    Although, at first glance, our house may look very small — not to mention, in desperate need of a paint job — and, though they would never admit it (out loud) my kids know our house is bigger than the 5-roomed cape I grew up in; it's got good bones.

    Still.

    We ARE 6 people, living in a 7 room house and — though, I'm blessed with many friends (both, online and in real life) who are able to feel themselves right at home, anyway — I'm having a hard time trying to find a way to 'splain it, to their kids.

    (more…)

  • Make new friends, but keep the old; especially, if they find you on Facebook!

    Carleen holly and pumpkins 

    Holly and her godmother, Carleen – Autumn 1995

    My oldest daughter is turning 16, this year (I know, because she keeps reminding me that her birthday is coming up…in November) and it's amazing that I really can't remember her ever being this small.  Or, the fact that Holly's godmother has also became a mother, moved out of state and that, sadly, we've since lost contact with each other.

    Not for the lack of trying, because we really have "not" tried to call, or reconnect with each other, in years.

    Until, I logged into my email and found a "friend request" today from Facebook and was all, OMG, you mean to tell me there's another person who knows me, in real life, and STILL wants to be my friend!?!

    Because, I also received a request from my son's godmother [waves to Linda] a few weeks ago and still haven't gotten over the fact that she just might think I hate her, too.

    (more…)

  • Happy [bleeping] Mother’s Day!

    Maxine-mothers-day

    Tired hearing about Mother’s Day, yet?  Yeah, me too.  I mean, it’s not like I don’t appreciate being bombarded with a bazillion emails, reminding me that, you know, it’s Mother’s Day — the biggest “gift-giving” and “phone-calling” day of the year — because, I don’t. 

    Want any gifts or phone calls, I mean.

    I did once, the following year after my oldest daughter was born, my husband Garth [not his real name] bought me a coffee mug that said, “I [heart] Mommy” with a little [heart] drawn in between.  The [heart] has long been rubbed off, but I still use it, every day.

    My oldest is 15 now [UGH, I don’t know how that happened, either] and we’ve since added a couple of mugs, or two, to our brood, so I guess, Mother’s Day just has a whole different meaning, is all.

    I know it must for my mom and my mother-in-law.

    While, they look forward to spending a quiet Mother’s Day surrounded by their family [i.e. grandchildren] all I want is to be, you know, left alone.

    On the other hand, it’s just one day, right?  Though, I really do try to remember that I love them, every day.  Still.  I can’t help but think that I’ll probably feel differently, in a few years.  Especially, the first time when one of my kids “forgets” to call me for Mother’s Day.

    So, instead, I have a gift for you, my mommy-type-blogging friends!

    Snagged this video from Melissa [a.k.a. Suburban Scrawl] who I am officially naming my “mommy-porn muse” this week [you’re welcome!] because…YES!…me love the faces of Deadliest Catch…long time:

    [Edited to Add:  Video was made “private” after I posted this…sorry, he/she doesn’t want to share…but, here’s the original “cleaned-up” version from Discovery without the [bleeping!] DAMNIT.  Still, my thoughts remain the same.]

    Guess what ELSE we’re doing on Sunday?  Go ahead, I’ll wait.

    [heavy sigh]

    Happy [bleeping] Mother’s Day, my friends!

    © 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.