This Full House Archive

Category: Raising Teens, Tweens & Killer Dust Bunnies

Writing Challenge #4: The Resolution – I #fail(ed) My Way
This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging and brainchild of my friend, Mrs. Flinger. Today’s challenge was to write about resolutions. Do you believe in them? Have you ever done them? Beliefs? Success? Goals?

——————————————————————-

Yes, I've made resolutions and, seeing as I'm old (okay, older than most mom-type bloggers, I know, DAMMIT!) there are quite a few that I have made/failed to achieve, consistently, like:
- 1. Lose weight – #fail
- B. Get out of debt – #fail(ed)
- 3. Get organized – #epicfail
You see where I'm going with this, right?

[bows head in shame]

So, in lieu of a new bill, banning ALL resolution-making in the future (seriously, it could happen) I've come up with a theme song, inspired by Frank Sinatra, instead:

I Blogged It My Way

And now, it's a brand new year

And so I face, another 12 months of perpetual pms and a really bad complexion

[takes deep breath]

My friends, I'll say it clear

Being a mom-type blogger sucks, of this I'm certain

Laundry baskets are full, the dishwasher is STILL broken

And yes, I've blogged it ALL

I blogged it my way

Regrets, I've had a few

But then again, I probably blogged that, too

You're welcome

What, so would you, when raising 4 exemptions

Stuff just doesn't happen, it hits the fan, watch where you step

This IS my mantra

And more, much more than this

I blogged it my way

[clears throat]

Yes, there were times

I'm sure you knew

When I blogged more than I could chew

(???)

But through it all, when there was doubt

I sucked it up and blogged it out

I Facebooked it all and STILL stood tall AND blogged it my way

[sound of crickets chirping]

I've loved, I've laughed and cried

Twittered it too, no matter how confusing

And now, as tears subside

I find it all so amusing

To think I made this, too

And may I say, not in a shy way

"Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I'm still a dork, aaaaanyway"

[last verse, you're welcome!]

For what is a mom, what has she got?

If not for my blog, I'd lose my train of thought

To say the things I truly feel, keyword Gods be #damn(ed)

The record shows, even though my traffic numbers blow

I blogged it my way!

[instrumental]

Yes, maybe we should ALL just blog it….aaaaanyway!

Other folks participating, today:

Write on!

[Click here to view past Writing Challenges]

© 2010 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.
January 4, 2010
Best Blog Pics of 2009

January 2009: Old House, Has Good Bones

In the beginning…no, wait…let's not go that far back (you're welcome!) I'm entering my 7th year of blogging and was in the habit of embedding photos long before it was, you know, cool (shuttup!) as inspiration for that day's (or, week's) blog post.

A picture's worth a thousand words (i.e. Worldess Wednesdays = a quick cure for writer's block) right?

My friend Melisa (With one S) posted a month-by-month list of her favorite posts (she got the idea from Scary Mommy) aaaaand, since 2009 was, well, you know (ICK!) I'm focusing on the photos that represent the "best" of what this here blog is all about.

Sort of — ready?

(more…)

January 1, 2010
Four to the Teen, Baby!

Happy Fourteenth Birthday, Heather!

Today, you are fourteen and, well, like I told your sister Holly (in her birthday letter, last month) Holy Hannah Montana, the years are just flying by. No matter how hard I try to deny the fact that my two oldest girls are getting older (me too, DAMMIT!) time insists on slipping through my fingers, burrowing deeper into my chest and squeezing away a little piece of my heart, each year.

Remember yesterday, when everyone left us alone at the breakfast table and you and I talked about when you were little. How you cried a lot and never slept.

Me, too.

Except, you DID sleep in your car seat (a little) in our first minivan, you know, Daddy's Windstar (may it rest in peace) while I drove around town, in the middle of the night, through tears of frustration…both yours and mine.

I know now that, right from the beginning, you were developing a keen sense of empathy and was just hypersensitive to the world around you.

"I'm sorry, Momma!"

Still are.

"For what?"

It's like you know exactly how I'm feeling, or when to make daddy smile.

"Thinking about that makes me wanna cry."

[blank stare]

See what I mean?

"Soooo, you wanna go for a drive?"

Although, most folks would probably consider outwitting your parents at the dinner table, on a daily basis, as borderline brilliant — especially, to your siblings — I really do miss your knock-knock jokes.

"Just you and me, okay?"

I know how hard it is to be the middle child…sort of…literally, wedged between two sisters, having to share one bedroom, which you end up cleaning, by yourself, mostly and giving up the corner of the couch, so your baby brother could better reach his sippy cup.

"So what, mom STILL makes me use one, when I'm sick, too."

You were my little keeper of the peace; still are.

Then, all h-e-double-hockey-sticks broke loose and, by Thanksgiving, last year, we were all trying, real hard, to make YOU feel better, while you celebrated your 13th birthday, flat on your belly.

Nothing, could have prepared us for the long road ahead, right?

Then, it was mommy's turn and, well, making butt jokes during yet ANOTHER emergency surgery is more than appropriate, right?

Riiiiight.

It DID get better. You made the field hockey team. I survived your first game. Then, worse. You had one more emergency room visit.

"They really asked me some STUPID questions."

Oh yeah. I forgot about that.

"Like what?"

But, since SHE was the one to bring it up.

"Like, if I'm sexually active or not."

[grabs time by the cajones and squeezes, HARD!]

Aaaaand now, well, you ARE fourteen, one year post surgery and looking forward to joining your sis in high school, next year (DAMMIT!) not to mention, proving yourself to be the bravest and strongest kid I know, over and over again.

So, there's nothing much more I can say (without crying, again) besides, what I used to say, you know, when you were little:

"I love you more than the moon and the stars!"

Aaaaand, Momma's gonna sing (yeah, AGAIN!) ready?

[clears throat]

Happy Birthday, my Christmas Baby
You're fourteen, I can't believe it's true
But, I've just one wish on this special day…

I wish I were more like you!

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 28, 2009
Wordless Wednesday: Smile, It’s the Holidaze!

Wake me up when New Year's ends!

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you're it: Wordless Wednesday

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 23, 2009
Writing Challenge #3: The Gift – Angels Bearing Lopsided Christmas Trees

This is part of a writing challenge at {W}rite-Of-Passage, a community of bloggers who are looking to get back to the writing part of blogging and brainchild of my friend, Mrs. Flinger. Today’s challenge was Write about the Christmas Gift you remember the most.

——————————————————————-

Like most of the kids in our neighborhood, my twin brother and I eagerly counted down the days until Christmas, by doing our homework, eating our all of our vegetables and cleaning our rooms, without being asked, in a desperate attempt to earn extra points with Santa Claus.

However, we were perhaps the only family in town without a tree.

"Not until Christmas Eve."

We would sit and sulk in the back of our station wagon, on the way to the laundromat, or coming back home from food shopping, as our folks marveled at other people's houses, every weekend. Still. No tree.

"In Hungary, kids had to wait until after midnight for the Christmas Angel."

Oh, there were plenty of stories. About trees and drunken angels. Like, the year my grandfather decided to celebrate Christmas on the way home from work, tripped on the entrance of their small apartment and dropped their tree…decorations and all.

"It was the Angel, I tell you, I saw it drinking on the trolley!"

I'm sure my grandmother didn't appreciate my grandfather's dry sense of humor, just as much as my brother and I couldn't understand my father's excitement at finding a pair of socks, or a foil wrapped orange under their Christmas tree.

Still. We listened and it made my father miss them both, all the more.

"Daddy's home and he's got our tree!"

My father worked for a landscaper and for years sold Christmas trees, in the parking lot of a garden center, before being laid-off for the winter.

"It's beautiful, Daddy!"

If you were to ask me what Christmas gift I remember the most, thirty-something years ago, I would have answered the Barbie Country Camper.

"Your grandmother would have loved such a tree."

Today, it's stories of drunken Christmas Angels and lopsided tabletop trees that help make Christmastime special for me…and my family.

Just like Dad.

Other folks participating, today:

Write on!

[Click here to view past Writing Challenges]

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 21, 2009
The Babies Are Coming, The Babies Are Coming…

No, I'm not pregnant [knocking on wood until knuckles bleed] but, I have to admit, now that my kids are getting older, this trailer makes me wish a few of their baby years, back (sort of) without ALL the farm animals, I mean.

I just think the visuals are stunning and very happy to see that the language of babies is STILL, you know, universal…not to mention, that this post has absolutely NOTHING to do about Christmas.

You're welcome!!!

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 18, 2009
I Saw Mommy Shake Down Santa Claus

My husband, Garth [not his real name] and I attended his company's holiday party, last weekend and — although, this is our 21st Christmas — it's been a long time since we've attended a company party, together.

"Should we valet-it, tonight?"

We had no choice (no self-parking allowed) seriously, the banquet center is in a real swanky part of the county (I could very nearly spit to Bon Jovi's and Springsteen's house) but, everyone was allowed to bring a guest.

"I don't believe you've met my wife…"

Actually, we both knew only a handful of folks and there were, like, over 200
people there (no biggie, after BlogHer, I know) but, the atmosphere was that of 1 big happy family (mostly) and we ALL toasted my husband's upcoming 1st anniversary with The Kinder and Gentler Bank.

"Would you like another glass of Pinot Grigio?"

Did I mention, there was an open bar?

"I'll have the Chateau Briand, thank you!"

Needless to say, Garth [not his real name] and I were dressed to impress and enjoy ourselves (i.e. no sweatshirts, or hoodies allowed) as it was the 1st time that we've been out, together (sans children) in, like, weeks, months, um…what year is it, again?

"BUUUUUUT, YOU PROMISED TO TAKE ME TO THE MALL!"

Seriously, on a Saturday, at Christmas?

"Yes, you did."

I must have been high on Lysol, or something, but my husband also reminded me that, since our oldest was sleeping over someone else's house (about danged time, too) Heather kindly offered to sit the rest of our kids, for us.

"You take her and I'll take the rest to Five Below, or something."

Besides, it was Heather's turn for some private mommy time and, at 13, I'm just happy that she still, you know, admits that I am her mother, let alone agrees to be seen with me, in public.

"You can take my car!"

WHOOT!…[cue new car smell]…so, I kissed my husband (whispering, in his ear, something about looking forward to, well, you know, later) and we went our separate ways.

"No…toll…paid…what does that mean, Mom?"

[eyes go wide]

"I dunno, I thought the E-ZPass Lane was open and…OH, FRIG!"

Then, I remembered that I had my husband's car.

"Daddy doesn't have E-ZPass?"

Nope. Aaaaand, I'd blown through 2 tolls, already, which cost my husband (does the math) $50.00 in tickets.

"Aaaand, we haven't even gotten to the mall, yet!"

So, I asked Heather to text her father what happened, hoping that it would give him enough time to, you know, get over it.

Then, he texted back.

"Well, at least, something's getting blown around here."

No he didn't. But, if you have kids, then you KNOW he was thinking it, right?

"I'll make it up to you."

Did I mention that there was going to be an open bar?

"It's not like I haven't heard that one, before."

We really did have a wonderful time at the Christmas party and, as we helped our youngest children find their beds (or, which ever one happened to be the closest) Garth [not his real name] and I were still feeling, you know, toasty.

"I can't sleep; can I go upstairs to Glen's bed?"

[eyes go wide]

"Orrrrrrr, did you guys wanna be alone?"

[the sound of a romantic mood, exploding]

This Christmas, I'm giving Garth [not his real name] the gift of hope.

"Maybe we should just install an E-ZPass in OUR bed."

Or, which ever one happens to be the closest, right?

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 16, 2009
The Littlest Elf That Could, Fo’Shizzle!

Hope found her sister's infamous skull cap (you know, the one I wrote about, a few years ago, when my middle girl was going through, well, at the time, it seemed like something pretty major) and, as with most things in our house, time heals old parenting
wounds and my husband, Garth [not his real name] and I just don't seem
to sweat small-ish head gear, anymore.

"Wait, let mommy take your picture!"

You see,
Hope is our youngest and, being 4th in an already long line waiting to get
into the bathroom (my 16 year old has moved in, apparently) and, well, it's like we get a do-over, sort of.

"You never let US sleepover anyone's house until we were, like, in middle school!"

Yes, but I also pointed out the fact that Hope has never had her own room. Okay, neither did Heather (consider yourself lucky, Holly) but, that's NOT the point.

"When can I get a second hole, like Heather?"

[eyes go wide]

"I think wearing 2 earrings in the same ear looks cool!"

Oh, phew, I thought she meant [remembers that Heather might be reading this, right now] never mind.

"Maybe when you're 10."

WHAT?

I know, I know, but you don't live here (you're welcome!) or have to hear constant comparisons being made on just how terrible of a mother I am, was and forever shall be, no matter what I do, do you?

"Did you hear what Hope did, today?"

I came home from work, one night…um…this week (I think) and, though Garth [not his real name] has stepped up to the dinner plate, rather nicely (his home made chicken fingers taste way better than mine, DAMMIT) let's just say that, apparently, he was a tyrannical slave driver in a previous life and the kids are, you know, beginning to really miss me.

[closes eyes and rubs left temple]

"What now?"

Long story short (you're welcome!) her father was looking through her backpack (seriously, the guy IS anal) when he saw an envelope marked "from the class mom" opened it and found it was filled with change.

"$10.00, to be exact."

Quarters, nickles, dimes and pennies, ALL stuffed into a smallish white envelope.

"What, is she extorting money from the class mom, now?"

Not exactly.

"It's for the teacher's gift."

Apparently, she's lived with me long enough to know that, you know, I sometimes don't remember to sit down and actually read the bazillion handouts, that come home, anymore (seriously, there are some freakishly anal people out there!) and she's absolutely right.

"I'm almost exactly 8 and a half, now."

Yeah, I know and it's making me feel a little sad.

"I can take care of myself, you know."

Okay, more than a little sad.

"So, can I have an allowance?"

I'm all torn up that my littlest elf can NOW reach all the way up to the top shelf.

"NO WAY, WE DON'T EVEN GET AN ALLOWANCE!"

Don't worry, I'll get over it.

"Maybe when you're 10."

But, probably not.

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 11, 2009
25 Things You Did NOT Want to Know

My friend WeaselMomma (seriously, that's her name) blogged 25 Things You Didn't Want to Know and then dared me to, you know, participate in a little TMI and, well, since I am ALL about finding new ways to avoid the laundry, here you go:

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. My twin brother, Steve (HAH!)

2. Where was your first kiss? Bobby Nelson kissed me In an abandoned building near my house (What? I live in Jersey, YO!)

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Does throwing eggs at the house where meanest man in the neighborhood lived, count?

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Yes, and the besterd deserved it!

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yes, but a large number of people also sang as back up, at the time, so it's all good.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Eyes. My husband, Garth [not his real name] for example, has the prettiest pair of smiling eyes I ever saw and they change from green to blue and sometimes even gray, depending on what he's wearing, so cool.

7. What really turns you off? Bullies (cyber and IRL)

8. What do you order at Starbucks? I'm a McCafe sort of girl, really.

9. What is your biggest mistake? Thinking that I can make everyone (and their Grandmother) happy.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? No.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I can raise my right eyebrow (only) and do that, "Live long and prosper," Star Trek thing with my hands.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yes. My husband thinks I look a lot like Mariska Hargitay (riiiiiiiight, we both have Hungarian dads…that's about it) and I get stopped by senior citizens at the grocery store, a lot, when I wear my "smart girl glasses," telling me that I look like Sarah Palin. Also, just last night, when my son had two of his friends over playing Scene It and they ALL thought I looked like Demi Moore (in Ghost) aaaaand, if I don't shave my legs, Sasquatch!

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Yes. I still adore watching Disney movies and there's just something about Sponge Bob….bahahahahahahahahahaha.

14. Did you have braces? No. Wish I did. My oldest two are getting braces in March [shiver] so, I guess I will just have to live vicariously through their having straighter teeth, in a few years, or twenty.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes and no. Although, I've grown used to my 5' 10' frame, I find myself hunching over a lot and blame ALL you shorter people for, you know, my bad posture!

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? My husband makes me a fresh pot of coffee (or, caw-fee, if you're from Jersey) every morning, for the last twenty years. What? Caw-fee lovers will perhaps agree, that this is TOTALLY sex-see!!!

17. When do you know it’s love? When he/she makes you coffee, in the morning.

18. Do you speak any other languages? I can speak, read and write Hungarian; some Spanish; know lots of curse words, in many others.

19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? No.

20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes.

21. What’s something that really annoys you? Driving in friggin' Jersey, 'nuf said!

22. What’s something you really like? Christmas music (sorry, Melisa!)

23. Can you dance? At cocktail hour, most anyone can! Can I dance well is another question and, well, I think I've already answered THAT one.

24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Unfortunately, yes. Friends and family will agree, I am perhaps the clumsiest person on the planet!

25. Tag 5 people! Okay [slapping you on the back] TAG, YOU'RE IT!

Because, I'm not very good at following rules (I get that from my Hungarian grandmother) feel free to leave a comment, answering any one of these questions, and, well, we'll call it even, okay?

Have a great weekend!

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 4, 2009
Are You Smarter Than the Head of a Money Laundering Ring?

So, how's that part-time job going? Pretty well, actually. I got paid (yes, REAL money) last week and, well, I was rich (or, richer than the week before, anyway) for all of 5 seconds, when I remembered that, you know, I signed up for direct deposit.

DAMMIT!

It ALL goes into the "house" account, anyway.

Yes, I have a debit card, but it's just not the same as handing over a ten spot and not caring if you get change back, or telling the kid behind the counter to, you know "Keep the change," is it?

As if, I could ever justify buying a cup of coffee (or, if you're from Jersey, it's a cup-uh-caw-fee) for the cost of a gallon of milk and a dozen eggs, too, in some places, right?

Then, I was doing the laundry the other day (I know, act surprised, anyway) and I hit pay dirt!

"That's mine!"

My oldest girls have been helping out A LOT around the house, lately (under duress, from their father, of course) although, I'd love to be able to offer them an allowance, I don't remember the last time I got paid for, you know, doing my laundry.

"How do you know it's yours?"

Besides, they both have regular baby-sitting gigs and STILL get paid way better than I do.

"Beeeeecause, Holly loaned me five bucks."

My 10-year-old son, not so much.

"But, I lost it."

Aaaand, he's real bad with money.

"She gave me some, too."

My 8-year-old, however?

"But, mine's in my pocket!"

One beat…two beats…

"Wait a minute, let me see that money!"

Tell me, is it like this at your house?

8yo: "Hey, that's mine!"

10yo: "How DO YOU know?"

8yo: "Because, that's MY lip gloss!"

10yo: "Well, that IS my paper clip!"

8yo: "Here, you can have it!"

10yo: "That's NOT fair….Mooooooom!"

Aaaand, if it's not like this at your house.

"Here then take the lip gloss, too!"

Then lie to me, and I'll be sure to save you a nice warm spot, okay?

"It's got to be worth at least 4 bucks."

Beeeeecause, hell has GOT to be better than doing the laundry!

8yo: "Wait a minute, let me see that lip gloss!":

In my house, anyways.

© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.

December 1, 2009