Category: Raising Teens, Tweens & Killer Dust Bunnies

  • Becoming THAT Crazy Cat or Dog Lady

    One of the reasons I started blogging….back in the days of  when posting pictures of your kids on the internet was bad and way before those same kids started posting pictures (and videos) of themselves….on the internet….was my being able to connect with other parents on the internet.

    I still do, but now that my kids are older (me too, dammit!) it can be real difficult keeping stuff all lighthearted….most especially, here at This Full House of extreme hormonal imbalance and severe teenage angst….sometimes.

    Okay, most of the time.

    Fiiiiiiiine, I sort of get why really, really, really old people (you know, folks much, much, much older than me) are crazy.  Their kids made them that way. 

    Then, they dress up their pets and buy them organic food and stuff and maybe one day I will be that crazy cat or dog lady, too.

    Just, NOT TODAY!

    For example:  Doofus-Dawg has this funny way of thumping his tail when he's in the middle of…well…what I imagine to be a real kick-ass dream.

    [thump-thump-thump-thump-thump]

    Aaaaaand, then the kick-ass-ness gets real intense and the thumping gets quicker.

    [thumpity-thump-thumpity-thump-thumpity-thump]

    Then the dream goes full on…SQUIRREL!!!!!

    [THUMPTHUMPTHUMP-THUMPITY-THUMPTHUMPTHUMP]

    No lie.  This time, I happened to have my phone charging while working at the desktop and I hear:  thump-thump-thump-thump-thump.

    So, I grabbed my cell phone and then, sure as you'll find hairballs under our couch, secured my rightful place in parenting hell:

     

    You see?  Et tu Doofus-Dawg?  Totally made a total liar out of me.  The REAL funny part is he came right back and marched his hairy butt straight to the couch.

    The Revenge of Doofus Dawg

    Hahaha, real funny, now I triple-dawg dare you to try and get me from off the couch, b8tch!

    Normally, Doofus-Dawg isn't allowed on the couch.  This time, I made an exception, because I am nothing if NOT inconsistent with my parenting skillz, too.

    Besides, those are my son's clothes….he never did take them upstairs, like I told him to, this morning….and, well, the clothes are going to end up on the floor…eventually…or my son will throw them back into the hamper…clean or not, who cares?anyway.

    Aaaaand then feed me strained carrots….eventually…but NOT today…DAMMIT!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • More Big Bang for Their Buck

    If you were to visit my house, on any given day, you would most likely be very surprised to hear any one of my daughters singing…by herself or altogether…in Korean…and my son begging me or his father to…PLEASE, MAKE THEM STOP!!!

    Not that my son has anything against the Korean.  Or any other language, really.  Although, I have it on good authority that his Spanish teacher may or may not have made a pact with the devil.

    Teenagers can be SO weird about stuff, sometimes.

    Which brings me back to all three of my daughters and their long-time obsession with K-pop (a.k.a. Korean pop music) more specifically, the boy group Big Bang.

    Bigbang_alive_tour

    photo credit: Big Bang on Facebook

    Ask my daughters something in Korean…g'head…and they will NOT have ANY idea what you are saying.  Ask  them to recite the lyrics to one of Big Bang's songs…fuhghettaboutit…they will give you twenty.

    So, when my oldest learned that Big Bang's Alive tour was coming to the United States in L.A. and Newark here in Jersey…ONLY!!!…well, cover your ears…SQUEEEEEE!!!!

    She woke up super early on her day off (before noon, she's 18, enough said) the day the tickets went on sale and right when she was about ready to hit PURCHASE…GAHHHHH!!!

    Her latop shutdown after performing an automatic update.  

    After belting out a few choice words in, well, I'm still not quite sure WHAT language Holly was speaking (best guess, a mashup between Korean and Jersey-pissed) but I do know that she has since disabled automatic updates.

    She was able to score two tickets (one for herself and one for my middle girl, much to the chagrin of her youngest sister, but let's not go back there, okay?) they weren't as great as the first set of tickets, pre-reboot…[insert Korean expletive, here]…however, sixth row-right-of -stage-something-or-another was deemed more than adequate and totally within SQUEE-ing distance to K-pop nirvana.  

    Big Bank T-shirts Finished

    SQUEE!!!!

    Flash-forward to last night:   so the girls stayed up ALL night making their own t-shirts for…SQUEE!!!…the concert (even let their baby sister in on their revelry) and life was good. 

    Holly and Heather Bing Bang

    Big Bang Bound

    Until, Garth (not his real name) came downstairs this morning and found one of his good t-shirts, newly fringed.

    In their defense, they did ask…while he was asleep…and, yes, they learned from the best…YO!!!

    Flash-forward to this afternoon:  I dropped the girls, along with their two bff's, in front of the Prudential Center in Newark (literally, pulled up and kicked them out at the curb, it's how we roll in Jersey)  and the lines were THIS LONG already.

    My cell phone rang about 5:00 p.m., it was my oldest.

    "Hey Holly, are you okay,what's wrong, are the girls okay?"

    It's their first REAL concert, can you tell?

    "Yeah, just wanted to tell you that we finally got inside."

    Welcome to concerthood, my young padawan.  We chatted a bit and then I made the mistake of asking her if they had someting to eat.

    "No, and that's a REAL funny story."

    Long story, short (you're welcome) the merchandise carts are very near the entrance and who knew that they actually sold food on a whole OTHER level?!?

    "We sort of ran out of money."

    Actually, they had a dollar.  Aaaaand, I did what (I'm pretty sure) ANY parent would do.  I asked that really STUPID question.

    "So, what DID you spend the money on?"

    [one beat, two beats]

    Uh-huh…T-SHIRTS!!!!…dammit…or 젠장 (jen-jang) if you're from Korea!!!

    © 2003 – 2013 This Full House

  • The Only Thing Better Than NOW! Is If I Had It 5 Minutes Ago © Garth (not his real name)!

    I'm not a very patient person:  when it comes to making stuff work right (the first 20 times) or whenever I get it into my head to do something, it's either NOW or…SQUIRREL!!!

    [stares blankly out window, scratches behind ear]

    BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

    Oh yeah, and I seemed to have picked up another habit from my husband, Garth (not his real name):  feeling the need to locate and then identify unexplained noises around the house because…OMG!…WHAT IS IT with all the BEEPING this morning?!?

    "It's Hope's cell phone."

    Which is actually Garth's (NHRN) old cell phone.  Because it's old (in cell phone years) and continually beeps whenever a text message goes unanswered.  Which is one of the reasons why he got a new one because…OMG!!! THE BEEPING!!!

    Now that I think on it some more, I'm really the only person who texts him, continually.  Seriously, don't you HATE IT when your text messages go unanswered?!?

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    Aaaaaanyway, he picks up Hope's cell phone and proceeds to read the message (she's 11, enough said):

    "Hope my mom took phone away I just got it back."

    It was from one of her "guy" friends (gahdfuhbid you call him a boyfriend) and, although he did not scroll through the rest of the messages (just in case Hope is reading this, right now!), we could JUST imagine the context of the conversation:

    • Text #1:  Hey, So-and-So, you going to the Halloween dance?
    • Text #2:  Because, I might go.
    • Text #3:  Or I might not go.
    • Text #4:  Or, I might.
    • Text #5:  You going?
    • Text #6:  To the dance?
    • Text #7:  Helllllllllllooooooo?!?
    • Text #8:  What, now you're not answering any of my texts?
    • Text #20:  You're DEAD to me now!

    SNORT!  That last one was Garth's (NHRN) idea and that's when my husband came up with the perfect catchphrase to describe our youngest daughter.

    "Hey, that would make a pretty good blog post title."

    I realize that most folks probably won't consider this conversation even a quarter as funny as we did this morning, however, far be it from me to miss an opportunity of increasing
    my "Break curfew again and I'll show your boyfriend my blog," arsenal.

    "Aaaand, I want credit for it too!"

    So be it.

    [see blog post title]

    PHEW!  I am SO GLAD that it's NOW out of my…SQUIRREL!!!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Learning From Our Mistakes-101

    Scaling the Walls

    Learning to walk his hard, learning to fall is even harder.

    Please feel free to visit with me over at my Gone Shopping blog and read more about:  why I can't help but feel that life would be a little easier if Learning From Our Mistakes-101 were a requirement, rather than an elective…for parents, too…when you have time, of course.

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • WoW, At Our House, We Take Electronic Entertainment Very Seriously

    My brother and sister-in-law are big-time World of Warcraft fans and recently gifted my 13 year-old with 6 months of game time.  Considering my son has been BEHHHHHHHHHHHH-ging us for a subscription (it's free to play up to level 20 or something, which is like 5 minutes to a 13 year-old) inviting him into their guild effectively up-ped my brother's and sister-in-law's wow-factor by a hefty:

    "WOW, you guys are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, AWWWWWWWWWWWESOME!"

    Yeah, as if they needed any help in THAT department.

    Aaaaaaanyway, my son has been hinting at an expansion pack for WoW, for a couple of weeks now, and mentioned it again on the way home from the pediatrician's on Tuesday.

    "I know, Mists of Pandaria, it was released today."

    What?!?  I read Game Informer. 

    "You could add it to your Christmas or birthday list."

    Aaaaaaand, my coolness factor dropped by an unsurprising:  "UGH!  You ALWAYS say that!"  He's got about half the money saved from his grass-cutting earnings (we got a lot of grass, don't judge) but, I would not loan him the other half, yeah I'm mean like that.

    Then the inevitable happened.

    "What if I do extra chores around the house?"

    Oh, I know that there are folks who feel you shouldn't pay your kids to do chores around the house and, in theory, I totally agree. 

    I also believe selective hearing is a terrible thing and may be…no, wait…MOST DEFINITELY IS…my undoing.

    "Go…up…wet…from…the floor!"

    [blank stare]

    "I said…pick…the…towels…off!"

    [sound of crickets chirping]

    Long story, short (you're welcome!) I'm tired (not to mention, sick of stepping over wet towels) so I agreed to loan him the other half of the cost (stupid expansion packs) in exchange for housecleaning services and suggested that perhaps it would be a good idea if we put something in writing.

    "I'll draw up a contract as soon as we get home!"

    Aaaaaaand, he did:

    Contract Electronic Entertainment

    [click for a better view]

    Morale of the Story:  What is it with him and leaving wet towels on the floor?!?

    WOW!  I was thinking along the lines of 2 weeks.  Perhaps I should have my 13yo negogiate ALL of my contracts.  For a small fee, of course.  Now, if he would just put AS MUCH effort into pre-algebra, we'd probably have his college tuition paid for by now, right?!?

    Stupid expansion packs, dumbass World of Warcraft.

    © 2003 – 2013 This Full House

  • So, I Wrote This Blog Post on Katie Couric’s Website

    Raise your hand if you NEVER thought you would EVER read THAT blog post title here at This Full House of crunchy floors and sticky socks [raises handed] me, either.

    Unlike my house, I like to keep things light and airy on my blog.

    Then my oldest daughter Holly and I were invited to NYC to tape a segment of Katie Couric's new daytime television show and I never thought I would say THAT (out loud) either.

    Me and Katie
    The show on Dating Violence aired on Katie yesterday and my husband was more than just a little surprised to learn that I did not watch it.

    "What do you mean you didn't watch it?!?"

    Honestly, a part of me was all, like, I wonder if the camera caught a glimpse of us — we were in the front row, to the right of the stage — truth is, it was VERY difficult for me to sit through it the first time.

    "Mom, I'm on break and they got the show on here at work!"

    Especially, with my grown up baby girl sitting next to me, considering this was Holly's first experience at attending something like this AND not having been on a real date-date before.

    It's okay, she said I can blog that.

    Quite frankly, hearing the story of University of Virginia college
    student Yeardley Love's murder, at the hands of her "former" boyfriend,
    was beyond brutal.

    Listening to Yeardley's mother and sister speak of their grief over her death, for the first time, in front of millions…well…as a mother, sister and daughter, it shook me to the core.

    I was then asked if I would be interested in sharing my thoughts
    about the show on Katie's website and, as a mom of 3 teens and 1
    tween…well…how I could not?!?

    I looked through my notes (note: I'm the only one typing away and was so glad the staff thought to introduce me as the "blogger of the day" during one of the breaks after also noticing all the WTH?!? looks I was getting from the rest of the audience!) and then tossed them aside.

    "I just talked to Holly about the possibility of my being able to blog
    our conversation [after the show] and she is okay with…me, too.  Just a thought."

    Sadly, I am no stranger to dating violence.  I decided to share my story and it was the MOST difficult blog post to write.

    I feel very, very fortunate to be able to say that the experience left me with nothing more than a migraine…physically, I mean.

    Frankly, I was a little worried about some folks considering sharing my story as the airing out of dirty laundry and I would have to agree with them.

    There is NOTHING light and airy about dating violence.

    "So, I wrote this blog post on Katie Couric's site."

    My husband, Garth (not his real name) has long made peace with the fact that I blog stuff about us (9 years and counting) however, I don't share any stories here that I wouldn't feel comfortable telling you about on your couch or at my kitchen table.

    "I know you wrote it, I shared the link on Facebook."

    I need no further validation — other than perhaps my and Holly's story will spark conversation in other families, as well.

    Aaaaand, trust me when I tell you that my hands are shaking, even now — here is the link:

    http://www.katiecouric.com/features/my-experience-with-dating-violence/

    No, this was not a paid opportunity.  The mental and emotional release…priceless.

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

    Are you a victim of domestic?  Call or text the National Domestic Violance Hotline:  Peer Advocates are available for assistance and support 24/7. Text
    “loveis” to 77054 or call 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-8453 TTY or chat live online.

  • Cape Cod or Bust, Garth (not his real name) fuh-bid!

    Provincetown Sage

    Yeah, I was thinking about stocking up…BIGTIME!

    I nearly tripped over this basket of sage sticks while in Provincetown this weekend (I know, like in Massachusetts, read on!) and swore I could hear fate hollering:  heeeeeeeeere's your sign.

    If you've been reading my blog for any length of time (most especially, this past summer) then you already know:  the #FUBAR runs deep in these here parts.

    Cape Cod or Bust

    We're gonna need a bigger boat!

    Which is why I was a little hesitant about the last-minute, "Hey I got an idea, how about you
    and the kids getaway for the weekend"
    , road trip courtesy of my husband Garth (not
    his real name) in a last ditch-effort to give them SOMETHING vacation-ish to write about in school.

    Aaaaaand, since they are off from school on Monday and Tuesday for Rosh Hashanah (Shanah Tovah, to all my Jewish friends!) while my husband, on the other hand, is not (dammit!) the timing was sort of good-ish.

    On the other, other hand:  it is, at the very least, a 5+hour car drive through 5 states of traffic (NJ, NY, CT, RI, MA, enough said!) ALL BY MYSELF.

    Moving onto the foot:  then again, he knows that my friends find his random acts of spontaneity to be very, very sexy…me, too!

    Welcome Note

    Warmest and bestest welcome…EVUH!!!

    So, I texted my friend Sue (a.k.a. As Cape Cod Turns) that night, to let her know that we'd be in town the next night (or, since I had to wait for the kids to get home from school and we'd probably get in around midnight, the day after that) so as to give her plenty of time to…you know…go out, make plans, stock up on some extra sage sticks, or something.

    The funny thing is she then told her parents, who then offered up their downstairs for us to stay and so on…and so on…and…well…yes, they are SUPER AWESOME like that.

    Provincetown Fun

    Provincetown fun, way fun-ner with friends!

    We've been going to the Cape since fuh-evuh…as far as the kids are concerned…so they made a list of their favorite memories and it was my job to squeeze 2 weeks of vacation…into 3 days…besides driving them…ummmmm…EVERYWHERE!…and back again, I mean.

    [rolls up sleeves]

    (more…)

  • I Need a Smartphone to Tell Me I Have a Smartphone

    I’ve been trying to convince my husband, Garth (not his real name) that he really DOES need a smartphone and NOT just for updating your Facebook status, sharing in some Doctor Who love on Twitter or playing Bubble Shoot and Words With Friends.

    [Ahem]

    Not to mention…ohhhhhh, LOOKIT! HOW CUTE!…Doofus Dawg is napping with his favorite blankey…hang on a minute.

    Doofus on the Couch
    [point, shoot, share, DONE!]

    My current obsession with Instagram is another really good example (okay, so I’m a little late to the party, I have an android, enough said!) however, I did not post the pic of Doofus-Dawg.

    It’s really not ALL that great (seriously, have you seen Neil Kramer’s stuff?) I blame Andy (a distant relative of Siri, or something like that) he’s not the sharpest android on the block, but I love him anyway.

    Besides, THEN what would I blog about?

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Aaaaanyway, what was I saying?

    [stares at stains on couch]

    OH YEAH!  Garth (not his real name) finally broke down, got himself a smartphone and we now have epic Bubble Shoot marathon sessions together, almost every night before falling asleep on the couch, and everything.

    “You two and your silly little phones.”

    My oldest daughter does not have a smartphone and, now that she’s working and has started paying for some of her own stuff (thank you Jezuss!), she wants an iPhone.

    “Andy, are you really just a silly little phone?”

    I also do NOT have an iPhone (I only pretend that I do) but, Andy and I?  Yeah, we’re good.  In fact, my smartphone has enabled me to share a lot of experiences that I would otherwise have trouble…you know…remembering (DAMMIT!) Andy has effectively become my blogging muse.

    Another example:  I took this fun pic, while hiking with my oldest daughter, earlier this week and shared it on Twitter.

    Aaaaand, yes, only LATER after walking for nearly 2 hours, in the wrong direction, did I realize that we could have used Google maps to figure out just where in the hell we were.

    [point, shoot, share, OH SH&T!]

    Moral of the Story:   Having a smartphone really DOES come in handy…whenever you remember you have one…I mean…or something like that.

    If anyone needs me, I’ll be upstairs nursing my bad back and looking for the owner’s manual…DAMMIT!

    Stupid smartphones, dumbass Andy.

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

    Freshly-Brewed Elsewhere:  I am very honored to be working with Hallmark as a Life is a Special Occasion
    featured blogger — this month’s post is all about Kit Kats, Click-Clacks and the realization of just how much I really hated grade school!

  • In Blog Years, I Should Be Friggin’ Rich!

    9 Years

    9 years ago, I had a momfriend over for a playdate (remember those?!?) and, while we did share stories about our kids, fueled by tall glasses of spearmint iced tea and assorted kid-friendly snacks (probably fishy crackers and gummy bears, don't judge!) my friend and I waxed poetic about the days when we both dreamed of becoming famous writers.

    Okay, mostly her, because she was (and still is) a screen writer (for real) and I just liked to pretend as if I were just as…you know…writerly.

    "Have you thought about writing in a weblog?"

    Smiling politely, I slowly refilled her glass and effectively acknowledged the fact that I had NO IDEA what a weblog really was.

    "What the frig is a weblog?"

    I'm from Jersey, enough said.

    Aaaaaand, the rest my friends is…as they say…hysterical.  No, really.  Looking back at those first few posts, I swear, it's pretty obvious that I am in no way, shape or form as writer-ly as I pretended to be.

    Still, living out my life online, sharing stories that I now treasure (okay, more like cling to like a forgotten child) and the extreme privilege of getting to know and eventually meeting some of my best friends in world…priceless.

    Something that, up until this very day, a lot of folks still can't seem to wrap their heads around and that's totally okay.

    It's hard to explain, I guess I'm just not that writer-ly.

    So, for your reading pleasure and in celebration of my 9th blogiversary, my first blog post ever with no revisions, left as is when I first wrote it, one big friggin' paragraph of misspellings and all:

    9/02/2003
     
    Every pillow in my house has been relocated to the center of my
    living room. Why? The oldest of my four children, who is 9, has a
    playdate and it's raining outside. Enough said?!? My daughter's little
    friend is a well mannered, intellegent little girl who happens to share
    in my daughter's facination for pretend. One would think that at 9,
    thanks to Brittany Spears, Bratz Dolls and belly shirts, MTV would hold
    their interest rather than the giant maze totally constructed of pillows
    growing ever taller behind me. I mean every pillow, down to my
    youngest, who is 2, crib pillow. She was not very happy at first, but
    with a lot of reassurances made by her older sister, she gave up her
    pink frilly pillow for a promised entrance into the once completed maze.
    Everyone is in the act. My second oldest girl, who is 7, is busily
    adding her inventory of pillows. My son, who is 4 and the only boy in
    this house besides the two cats at the moment, has been accepted into
    the fold as well, light saber in hand. Play dates are very difficult to
    control in my house. With good intentions, I invite the 9 year olds,
    the 7 year olds and even a 4 year old friend (my son is in desperate
    need of male bonding) for some summer or after school fun. I have a 9
    room house, 2 of which are bathrooms, 2 of which all 4 of my children
    share as bedrooms, 1 of which is my room dedicated to stock piles of
    clean and dirty laundry. This basically leaves the main part of the
    house (where, by the way my desk is smack dab in the middle of) open to
    attempted organize play. We bought this house because of its,
    "kid-friendly" potential. Today, I find myself retreating to my
    computer and reflecting on the mountain of pillows, soon to be
    dissassembled if anyone even thinks about getting any supper placed in
    front of them. My four year old son, who is half naked with a feather
    sticking out of his head, is screaming somewhere toward the back end of
    the house ("He's an indian for goodness sake!" I only asked.) My 2 year
    old is happily slamming the bedroom door upstairs ("She's thunder! We
    need thunder 'cause it's raining outside!" Again, I only asked). My 7
    year old is bent out of shape ("They never want to play what I want to
    play!" No, we cannot have Kaitlyn over this afternoon.) The 9 year
    olds are running back and forth between the upstairs and the downstairs
    bedrooms screaming, "Can you hear me now?" ("The commercial is totally
    hysterical, Mom!" I didn't ask this time.) I look at the clock and see
    that the play date has an hour and a half to go and so do I, because
    thunder just pooped!
    – posted by Liz @ 9/02/2003 03:38:00 PM

    See, I told you.  Not very writerly-ish, right?  To me?  PRICELESS!!!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • See what I did? Notice how THAT didn’t work out very well? Don’t do it THAT way, okay?

    As a blogger (or blog-guh, if you're from Jersey) I'm often times asked for my opinions on various family-related subjects and have even been allowed to share my thoughts on really important stuff (like, helping to make blog comments count) every now and again.

    Hope on Pocono rock

    Isn't this the rock you slipped and fell off of when you were little, mom?!?

    Aaaaand, not because I'm some sort of expert or anything.  It's just that raising 3 teens, 1 tween and killer dust bunnies (be careful, they bite!) my husband Garth (not his real name) and I have become quite accustomed to expecting the unexpected.

    Sort of like jumping waves at the beach, really.

    My husband's first response would mostly likely be "Okay, relax, this too shall pass, let's just move along," right after my obligatory "Holy crap on, a stick!" acknowledgement of just how quickly FUBAR life can get.

    Holy crap on a stick, a bear!

    Ummmmm, so, like, where's Mama Bear?!?

    In other words:  I am just another mom, trying to hold it together, just
    like everybody else, who's maybe grown a little more accustomed to
    dealing with crap…on a stick!!!

    Which is why, rather than doling out worthless little pieces of advice
    pellets from my parenting Pez dispenser (sorry, been watching too many
    late night episodes of Cheers lately), I believe in leading by example.

    Or, not.

    "Hrmph, I think Unfriendly Neighbor bought the house next door."

    Our 104 year-old neighbor moved into an assisted living facility, her house was on the market for only about a month when it went under contract and in the house next hers lives the neighbor who hates my kids.

    "How do you know HE bought it?"

    I have this TERRIBLE habit of thinking out loud.  Which, of course, then opens me up to being challenged by anyone who happens to be around at that particular moment.  This time, it was my 13 year-old son.

    "Well, the house sold this month."

    In the 19 years that we've lived here, I can count on one hand the times Unfriendly Neighbor has helped us with keeping Ms. Grace's lawn manageable. 

    "Aaaaaand, he's mowing the lawn AGAIN!"

    I mean, NOT that he is supposed to or anything, however, Unfriendly Neighbor's got a riding mower and…wait for it…ours has been broken for years.

    "Oh, I said hello to him, is that bad?"

    [blink-blink-blink]

    "Aaaaand, he actually said hello back."

    [blank stare]

    "So, maybe he doesn't hate us as much as YOU think he does."

    Okay, my turn.

    "How do you know?"

    Brilliant, right?  That'll learn my son.  Challenge an adult, that's fine, be ready to back your argument up with fact(s).

    "Because, I went to cut the hill for you and it was already done."

    Dammit. 

    My husband fixed our self-propelled mower so it actually, you know, self-propels now.  So, I tackled the small-ish field behind our pool yesterday, where the kids play softball, soccer and such, ignoring Unfriendly Neighbor as he rode by, not caring whether or not he heard me cursing like a truck driver each time the damned thing stalled in the high grass.

    "Maybe he felt bad and saw that it was taking you a real long time."

    [blank stare]

    "It's a good thing I waved and said hello to him then, right?"

    Yep.  MUCH smarter than me.

    [flash-forward to earlier this morning]

    "So, it turns out Unfriendly Neighbor did buy the propery next door."

    Leave it to Garth (not his real name) to take the intiative to, you know, actually check real estate records.

    "Well, he IS cleaning the place up real nice."

    Not that I'll be baking him a cake, anytime soon or anything. 

    "Maybe it will help our property value go up, a little more, too."

    Then again, what do I know? 

    "Maybe I'll bake him a cake or something."

    Stupid grass.  Dumbass economy.

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House