This Full House Archive

Category: It’s not the years, HONEY – it’s the mileage!

  • 10 Years After Columbine: How Sometimes We Just Forget to Say Goodbye

    Columbine
    The columbine that grows in our garden underneath the playroom window.

    10 years ago, my oldest daughter was preparing for graduation ceremonies with her pre-kindergarten class, while my middle girl spent the afternoon with her "lunch bunch" pals and I attempted NOT to cry as I desperately tried to nurse my infant son.

    I was unsuccessful on both counts.

    Little did I know, the tears I shed that day would be no match to the gut-wrenching pain of watching my 15 year-old child walk out the door, without saying goodbye…again.

    (more…)

  • Beware, Doofus Dog on Duty!!!

    Chocolate-easter-bunny

    Welcome to the This Full House 3rd Annual Spring Break Staycation — where wearing our pajamas and sliding around the house in dingy socks are standard issue — this year, the kids and I have got lots of laid back and fun things planned for the next few days:

    • Sleep in
    • Color eggs with Mama and Papa
    • Sleep in
    • Visit with my twin brother and his wife in Ft. Dix
    • Sleep in
    • Go to Grandma's house for Easter
    • Sleep in
    • Visit with Aunt Cheryl and Uncle John in Cape May
    • Sleep in
    • Sleep in
    • Sleep in

    Especially, since Heather (formerly known as, Thing Two) received a clean bill of health from her surgeon…can I get HANDSLAP!?!?…and, after 6 months of riding the emotional roller coaster from hell, my 13-year-old is ABSOLUTELY THRILLED that she won't be getting back on the operating table, anytime soon…can I get a YEEHAW!?!?

    [deep sigh of relief]

    It's so great to be able to, you know, breath….again.  So, I'm taking a few days offline, with the exception of one quick and very important blogging date, to spend a low-tech-timeout with my kids.

    Except, for the totally tricked out car we get to drive around in…for little while, at least…but, more on that later.

    Oh, and my husband Garth (not his real name) started a new job, so he can't get any time off right now (no worries, he's very, very happy to be working…period) so, I'm leaving Doofus-dog in charge.

    Doofus-dog

    Knock before entering or he will…
    French you like a cheap porn star!!!

    In the meantime, I've got a new post up at New Jersey Moms Blog and I'd love to hear what you guys are up to…next week (delurking for a dork WILL get you into heaven, donchaknow?) oh, and I'm holding an Open House Blog Tour so, you are more than welcome to share your links there, as well.

    [lick]

    Have a great week, everyone!

    My-signature
    © 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.


  • What’s My Name, Damnit?

    Garth-thing-two-bridges 

    Thing Two's bridging ceremony to Junior Cadets, last year, at least I think that's where we were and what my daughter's name is.

    I was in the middle of yelling at my middle girl — yes, I holler at my kids, all the time, act surprised anyway — and then I did the unthinkable.

    "Don't walk away from me…uh…er…um…Thing Two, COME HERE!!!"

    I forgot my 13-year-old's name.

    (more…)

  • How I Strive to Be the Mother My Kids Do NOT Remember!

    This-full-house-70's

    I remember when this was taken.  The year was 1971.  I was my youngest daughter's age — although, I look a lot…you know…bigger — it was the day that the Woodbridge Center Mall first opened its doors and, ironically, Abraham & Strauss, Orbach's and Sterns are now all out of business.

    My parents have tons of pictures like this.  This one's in pretty bad shape, but I promised to go through and save as many of their photos, digitally, whenever I could (I mean, they've got boxes and boxes of 'em) but, it's become very difficult.  Harder than they could ever imagine and it's not because my parents don't have a computer, either.

    I just realized, for the first time, how much I really do look like my mother and it's killing me.

    (more…)

  • Get Away from My Pretend Workout Crush, You Witch!

    I hate having my picture taken.  Sometimes, I look pretty good (see photo to the right – taken by Dawn on our trip to Philadelphia and now I am shamelessly using it each and every blessed chance I get) then, there are those times when…well…I'm still waiting for Busy Mom to delete this sucker!

    Liz-this-full-house-bad-angle
     

    I smile, turn a little too much to one side and…BAM…my eyes disappear, I grow a couple of chins and can you say…bad angle?

    Still.

    I have come to terms with the fact that I may very well be the most photogenically-challenged person on the planet.  Unfortunately, no amount of Photo Shop can erase the fact that, for the last couple of years, my body has consistently gone south, for the winter, too.

    So, I joined a gym and not only because my sister-in-law is also a member — although, sweating alongside one another can be a truly bonding experience — the workout place is right next door to Shoprite (convenient) which has a Dunkin' Donuts, inside (YUM) and there are no long term contracts to sign!

    It is exercise nirvana and great for serial quitters, like me!

    Until.

    (more…)

  • A Post That Has Absolutely Nothing to do With Christmas, Health Care, Housing and Auto Bailouts or My Growing Dependency on Coffee!

    Sorry, Google (sort of) but momma's feeling a little cranky, right now and I'm sure that you (yes, YOU!) are getting pretty gosh-darned tired (like me) hearing about all the cuh-ray-zee stuff going on, right now, all over the blogging world.

    Makes me wish I was 7-years-old, again (sort of) and pretty much the reason why I decided to send this photo
    along with our otherwise traditional holiday family greeting — Mini-me's tongue sticking out, and all!

    So, please forgive me, you are not going to find any fodder that would be even remotely perceived as, you know, adult-like.

    Nuh-uh, not from me, not this day.

    How-wev-vuh, if you had a sucky week (like mine) filled with the type of suckage that even the glass-is-half-full-type people would find, you know, irritating….well, clean off a chair and sit down, I got a face to pick with you!

    (more…)

  • Parenting Tip #1,910,653: Taking the “I” Out of the Holidays

    The-boy-and-papa-cape-may-2

    Taken on Thanksgiving weekend in Cape May, NJ – The Boy (he's 9) and my father enjoy a quiet moment, rare as it is.

    Today, way before the rest of the house or even the sun wakes, I'm meeting my twin brother (yeah, I've got one of those, too and he's a lot prettier, than me, dammit!) and then heading to the hospital and do something that we both have grown used to, yet are still not very good at, doing.

    Waiting.

    We'll catch up on all of our holiday plans — probably, hovering somewhere near the coffee and endless line of vending machines — as we try and keep my father good company, while my mother goes through a procedure to increase the blood flow through her heart.

    Big as it is.

    In less than a week, my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I will be anxiously looking for the most awesome pediatric care team at Jersey Shore University Medical Center to take our 12-year-old baby girl away for what will, undoubtedly, be one of the longest waits of our lives, as I try to wrap my brain around the fact that her 13th birthday is only 3 days after Christmas.

    Yeah, so maybe this mom needs someone to hold her…me…WHATEVER!…I need a hug, can you tell?

    Yet, there's a profound sense of contentment in believing that suckage is also life's way of making sure that we take the "I" out of the holidays and focus on holding onto what's really near and dear to all of our hearts.

    So, is anyone else late in getting their greeting cards in the mail?  EXCELLENT!  When you finally do find the time to make out your Christmas/holiday cards, I…uh..that is to say, this mom…would like for you to consider sending one to the following address:

    A
    Recovering American Soldier
    c/o
    Walter Reed Army Medical Center
    6900
    Georgia Avenue, NW

    Why?

    Because…um…okay, life can really suck sometimes…but, it sort of feels pretty good, too — especially, when you've had a hand in helping someone else beat back the suckage, for a change.

    Aaaand?

    Well, because…uh…wait, I know this answer…okay, because, nice matters and I'm already too gosh-darned tired from trying to convince my kids that…yes, dear…if you study really hard, and eat all of your vegetables, there's a pretty good chance that you won't grow up to be a dork, like your mother.

    Happy Hold-days!

    My-signature

    © 2008 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

  • All I want for Christmas is an American Girl Doll that won’t break the bank, or make mom feel all Scroogy!

    According to their latest survey results of over 1,000 respondents, TodaysMama.com revealed that 85% of Moms across the United States are trimming their holiday budgets due to concern about the long-term economic outlook, specifically:

    14% plan to cut holiday spending by an astounding 75%
    32% will cut holiday spending by 50%
    66% believe it will take two to three years for the economy to recover

    Okay, we get it — honestly, you don't have to beat parents over the head with a mailbox full of sale flyers to know that life is too short to worry about the little things, like, what the cool kids want and the things that mine aren't, you know, getting this year, again — so, why am I still feeling so gosh-darned Scroogy?!?

    (more…)

  • The Christmas Picture That Almost Wasn’t

    Thing-two-and-mama-thanksgiving 

    I took this picture of Thing Two (she's my middle girl) and my mom (that's my youngest, Mini-me, popping up, on cue, from behind the couch) at my brother's house on Thanksgiving Day.  It's not a very good one (seriously, I could really use a new camera, Santa!) but, you can still see the family resemblance…right?

    This year, I really enjoyed giving up on any plans I had for hosting our family dinner (seriously, I highly recommend it) and not for the lack of wanting (I love Thanksgiving) but, things have been a little stressful at our house, lately.

    I know, you too, right?

    My husband, Garth (not his real name) works in the banking industry ('nuf said) and then my middle girl goes and blows a gasket (genetic disorders be damned) so, luck hasn't been on our side this year and, truth be told, I'm more than a little nervous about my mother's heart procedure, next week.

    Oh, did I mention that Thing Two is scheduled for her surgery, the following week, 13 days before her 13th birthday!?!?

    (more…)

  • Parenting Tip# 13,013: Wear Your Babies Well and They Will Try Their Best to Wear You Out, too!

    Thing-Two-Halloween-2008

    Biker Chick – Halloween 2008

    This is Thing Two — she's my middle girl — and, exactly 3 days, 9 hours and 15 minutes after Christmas, my colicky, sleep deprived and extremely gastrointestinally-challenged baby girl will turn 13-years-old.

    Though, I'm no longer a virgin — my oldest girl turned 15, this month — I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I will have another teenager running around the house and (in the not too distant future) 2 more will follow.

    Today, however, her father and I are getting ready to rip Thing Two a new one!

    (more…)