This Full House Archive

Category: Hope

  • Aaaaand, Now For More “Break Curfew and I’ll Show This Video to Your Girl/Boyfriend!” Blog Fodder

    My son's voice is changing.  A lot.  It's okay, he knows he sounds funny.  So, I shot this quick video while hunting for apple cider donuts during spring break, last week.

    Aaaaand, now I'm sorta mad at myself for not thinking of doing something like this back when I first started blogging…9 years ago…when he was 4 years-old (I think) because it would have made for some really awesome "Break curfew and I'll show this video to your girlfriend!" blog fodder.

    So, I video-taped my youngest for good measure.  You know, seeing as the kid is 10…going on 29…and most likely eloping, getting married jumping out of an airplane, or something involving the use of some sort of underwater breathing apparatus, anyway.

    Then, she can send me THAT video and we'll go ahead and just call it even. 

    [sound of crickets, chirping]

    Want a donut?  I skinned it and everything!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • This was only a test; if this had been a real emergency, I’d be wearing matching underwear!

    My oldest daughter started her FIRST part-time job last week (THANKYOUBABYJESUS!) so, I've been driving her to and from work, after school.

    Her job is about 20-30 minutes further south, depending on traffic (which is how we measure driving distance here in Jersey) and, considering we live along the busiest highways leading to the Jersey Shore, it is a bit of a hairy commute.

    Which is pretty much the reason why I drive my oldest daughter to/home from work.

    Yes, she has her driver's license (SOB!) however, we only have the one car to share between us and, well, you know.

    She is saving up for a down payment on a non-minivan and, at this rate, she'll be lucky enough to be able to afford gas for the gosh-darned thing; not to mention car insurance and clean underwear.

    We live in Jersey, enough said.

    It's really not all that bad (mostly) she works twice a week (for now) and every other weekend and my husband can help with that, unless, you know, he's working that weekend UGH!

    I'm just glad the timing happens to work out well with my youngest daughter's softball schedule. 

    Plus, my middle two are bused (AND THEN THE ANGELS BEGAN TO SING!) so, no more worries about getting them to and from school.

    My youngest, on the other hand, is still a walker (which is an oxymoron, because she still gets to and from school, in a vehicle, really) however, we have a mutually agreed upon meeting place that does NOT involve my having to actually enter the school parking lot.

    I learned of it from a few other parents who also have this thing about school parking lots.

    Plus, there's this one particular boy who insists on carrying Hope's book bag and, honestly, it's sort of cute.

    Except maybe on Tuesdays and Thursday.

    BEEEEEEEEEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEP!

    [squints at clock]

    "C'MMMMMMMMMMMMON!!!! 

    Okay, most definitely NOT on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

    "We have to get Holly to work!!!!"

    However, I don't know which is funnier:  the look on the other kid's face?!?

    "GAH!!!  I FORGOT!!!"

    Or, his hauling ass after my kid…STILL holding her book bag…each AND every time?!?

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Now Playing: The Brilliantly Brilliant Anti-Dog Whisperer

    MypuppyPhoto of Doofus-Dawg (not his real name) courtesy of HeatherrMarie (a.k.a. the middle girl.)

    Each of my kids has a special talent.  WAIT!!!  Where you going?!?  Please, COME BACK!!!

    I don't mean like in a "Look how brilliantly shine-y they are!" sort of way.  Although, considering I gave birth to each and every one of them and my being SUCH A BIG DORK, that in and of itself is an amazing thing, really. 

    Aaaaanyway, my point is — because, I really do have one and will try to get to it as quickly as dorkishly possible — we're technically raising our kids pretty much the same way (since kid one, really) and still they end up, growing up, with very different personalities.

    Which simply means my husband Garth (not his real name) and I STILL don't know what the heck we're doing half the time and I swear it comes down to a matter of paybacks from when we were kids.

    iDigress.

    Aaaaanyhow, so yeah, I get all like, "Holy Hannah Montana look-y what my kid can do!" whenever one of them does something I feel is brilliantly brilliant and, considering the last 4 and 1/16th paragraphs, can you really blame me?

    For example:  my youngest plays the clarinet AND is the only one in our family to even play a musical instrument. 

    Her name has been submitted for consideration into the Central Jersey Music Educators Elementary Honors Band.

    [takes deep breath]

    Aaaaand, well, forgive me when I say THAT is just all sorts of awesome.

    Bonus points: for figuring out that Doofus-Dawg (NHRN) does NOT like the clarinet.

    "Hey, you know how you hate it when he follows you around the house?"

    In the worst possible way, really, considering I am also the clumsiest mom on the planet.

    "I can always practice while you're making dinner!"

    [eyes go wide]

    See, what I mean?!?  BRILLIANT!!!

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Parenting Tip #2,189,562: Talking to Your Kids About Sex, Drive and Let Them Do ALL the Talking FIRST!

    I was in the 5th grade when we were herded into gym class to watch someone’s mother (or, maybe she was an older sister, I forget) as she wrestled with a “sanitary belt” (I know, I’m old, shuddup!) and we wondered what in the heck the boys were doing, right at that moment.

    I first French-kissed a boy in the 6th grade, in between a chain-linked fence that separated the baseball field from the basketball courts and spent the next few weeks in absolute terror until one of my friends finally convinced me that…uh, no and DER!…you can NOT get pregnant from kissing.

    Aaaand, thus ends the extent of my education into womanhood.

    Then, I had children and I swore up, down and sideways that MY kids will not be afraid to ask me ANYTHING about, well, EVERYTHING!

    “Mom, what’s an erection.”

    (more…)

  • Becoming THAT Mom (AGAIN!)

    6 years ago, I freaked out a few of the moms in my middle daughter's girl scout troop by allowing her to wear a black skull cap school (what, you don't remember?!?)

    WARNING:  it was around the time I migrated my blog from WordPress, back to Typepad (yes, on purpose!) so, the post is filled with funky little characters and stuff.

    The spelling and grammatical errors, however, are ALL mine.

    Aaaaanyway, my middle girl was 10 at the time and I was curious to learn (okay, remember) how it felt to be THAT mom. 

    You know, whose parenting philosophy is similar to yours — on opposite day.

    10yo:  If I cut my hair off, will kids stare?  Me:  Maybe [one beat, two beats] 10yo:  Can you make an appointment for me, today?

    I've come to the conclusion that becoming THAT mom has something to do with your kid(s) hitting double-digits.

    FB post haircut 2

    I mean, even my hairdresser has a hard time saying, "Girl, please…" to this kid and if you've ever watched Jerseylicious, then you know, hairdress-suhs are fierce.

    Hope Cut 1

    After the eleventy-billionth time of her asking, "Are you SURE you want to do this?!?"
    Hope Cut 4

    Look, it's Emma Watson (almost!) but, wait there's more….
    Hope Cut 2

    So, my hairdress-suh says, "Let's throw some color up in there!"
    Hope Cut 5

    Really, Mom?!? (filed under: blackmail photos) <br>
    Hope Cut 3

    Look, it's Emma Watson (and her hairdress-suh!)

    So, yes, with the help of my dear, sweet friend Lorrie's magical scissors, I once again myself being THAT mom.

    Then again, Lorrie's daughter's hair is a lovely shade of Skittles AND even Hope agreed with me in thinking it looked FABULOUS!

    "Maybe when you're 12."

    Because, you know, even us THAT (THOSE?) moms have our limits.

    © 2003 – 2012 This Full House

  • Nearly Wordless Wednesday:
    Williamsburg, VA 2005

    Williamsburg, VA 2005

    One of our most favorite places and yet we haven't been back since?  Perhaps I can convince Garth (NHRN) for one last road trip before the oldest goes off to college, next fall (SOB!)

    Oh, and I almost missed seeing my youngest, way over there on the right, she was so, so tiny (double-SOB!)

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

    I'm NaBloPoMo-ing it, this month (first time NaBloPoMo-er) feel free to check out what I've NaBloPoMo-ed, thus far (PHEW!) and let me know how I'm doing (I mean, 30 posts, in 30 days, really?!?) when you have time, of course!

      Feed me, see more!

  • Sometimes, I Just Want
    My Baby Girl Back

    Hope 4 Year Collage

    Looking at this face, would you believe she's grounded for the next 2 weeks?!?

    In preparation for showing off my spontaneous bathroom makeover (a.k.a. the extreme dork edition) I excitedly reached for my camera.

    Memory full (DAGNABIT!) so, I scoured the house for a SD card and, surprisingly enough, found one!

    "OMG!"

    Okay, so, I know my middle girl is majoring in photography and everything, but I didn't really think the pics I'd just taken were ALL that bad.

    "These pics are ALL, like, from 2005!"

    [eyes go wide]

    Hope Fun with Green Beans

    OMG, I don't even remember this or my youngest ever liking green beans.

    Hope's Pink Cowgirl boots
    I feel vindicated, however, in insisting that she used to wear dresses (on purpose) and yes, she also wore her pink cowgirl boots everywhere.

      Hope and Mommy 2005

    Then, this.  And I felt the walls of my heart implode a little. 

    Sometimes, I forget.

    Because, she makes it REAL hard for me to remember.

    Sometimes, I feel like the worst mother in the world.

    Because, once she got older and started needing me less, easy, breezy days like these seem so far and few in between.

    Sometimes, I just want my baby girl back.

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House

    I'm NaBloPoMo-ing it, this month (first time NaBloPoMo-er) feel free to check out what I've NaBloPoMo-ed, thus far (PHEW!) and let me know how I'm doing (I mean, 30 posts, in 30 days, really?!?) when you have time, of course!

      Feed me, see more!

  • She Ain’t Heavy, She’s Like a Little Brother

    Glen and Hope

    My son was a little over 2 years-old when Hope was born.  So, needless to say, Glen's toddlerhood is a bit of blur.

    However, I do remember diapers (lots and lots of diapers) also, projectile vomitting played a pivotal role in my believing that I had lost my mind, along with the senses of smell and taste, FOREVER.

    Long story short (you're welcome!) as far as my husband Garth (NHRN) and I were concerned, 4 was and still is our magic number:  everyone has a riding buddy on the roller coaster.

    Still, every year, my son would ask for a baby brother for Christmas or his birthday and most especially whenever Hope managed to get on his last nerve.

    Which is when I would point out that Hope was very much like a little brother, already, really.

    Today, she has NO trouble keeping up with her brother AND his friends, as evidenced by their conversation at the dinner table, Friday night.

    (more…)

  • The Ghost of Halloween Parades Past

    Holly As Bo Peep 1994

    My oldest, her first Halloween in 1994, I dressed Holly as Little Bo Beep (sorry, Holly!)

    Holly and Heather Halloween 1997
    Aaaaand, even Heather's face is all, like, seriously Mom?!?

    Holly Heather and Glen Halloween 2000
    Also, I'm pretty sure Glen is STILL not over the epic diaper wedgie he received from this ill-fitting-hand-me-down Tigger suit.

    Glen and Hope Halloween 2003
    Which leads me to reason #71,928,099 why I will be fed a steady diet of strained carrots, in a nursing home, somewhere far, far, away.

    (more…)

  • Aaaaand Now a One Act Play
    Performed by Two Turtles

    One of the many perks of raising older kids, besides the fact my husband and I have seen each of ours reach double digits and are STILL amazed at our even being able to, you know, count that high.

    Okay, mostly me.

    Aaaaanyway, we've tried to raise them to be independent, or at the very least, able to pretty much take care of themselves (get dressed, feed themselves, remember to brush their teeth, take their showers before bed and use soap, the last three being mostly for my son) if need be, and work as a team, if necessary.

    This week, the need be necessary.

    I have been in and out of the house, helping out a dear friend of mine, all week, in fact, I'm not home, right now.

    I was, for a few minutes, long enough to pack an overnight bag, kiss Garth (NHRN) when he got home from work (on the lips, REAL HARD!) and, well, then I left.

    On the one hand, it's nice to be able to focus my attention (used in the singular, on purpose) wherever it is needed the most, at any given moment.

    On the other hand, ummmm, what was I saying, again?

    Aaaaanyway, I bought my laptop along, thinking this would be the perfect time to catch up on reading some of your blogs and, in turn, allow you guys to, you know, help keep me amused (thankyouverymuch!)

    So, once my friend settled in for the night, I fired it up.

    Grrrr… even though we recently invested in a new desktop, my kids STILL insist on accidentally borrowing my laptop on purpose.

    Seriously, sometimes being away from home, alone, is good.

    Until, I read the note pinned to a new document:  Hope's Madlib, in case you get bored, I hope you like it.

    PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Thompson, on such pretty notice.

    DENTIST: What is your problem, young Bruno?

    PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper big bow, which is giving me a severe belly ache.

    DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your heart wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your Gabi with my dog.

    PATIENT: Shouldn’t you give a cat killer?

    DENTIST: Its not necessary yet. Yeah! I think I see Walmart in your upper neck.

    PATIENT: Are you going to pull my earring out?

    DENTIST: No I'm going to sneeze your tooth and put in a temporary globe.

    Patient: When do I come back for the ugly filling?

    DENTIST: A day after I cash in your tennis ball.

    On the one hand, it's a simple little Madlib and, well, big deal, right? 

    On the other hand, the fact that it was supposedly performed by two turtles, yeah, doesn't change things much, unless, you know, they're naked (Gawd, I love that kid!)

    Thankmeverymuch.

    © 2003 – 2011 This Full House