This Full House Archive

Category: Heather

Children of the REAL Jersey Shore
(Now with MORE zeppoles!)

Wake me up when Septemberrrrrr ends!

I love the beach this time of year. The fresh, salty air is a bit chillier, which makes the water seem much, much warmer and, well, most of the Bennies (i.e., the cast of the Jersey Shore, mostly, ironically enough) have ALL gone home.

"When was the last time we were at this beach, again?!?"

I get it. I was young, once (shuddup!) and could NOT wait for Friday nights, in the summer, when we'd head down the Parkway to Seaside Heights and/or Wildwood Crest and sneak into bars study the bible, ALL weekend long!

"I remember, Momma, it was when we showed Dana the ocean!"

I'd forgotten. Yeah, it really was the day we introduced my bloggy friend Dana to the ocean — she's from Wisconsin!

"Has it been THAT long?!?"

Sadly, my kids have outgrown Jenkinson's Boardwalk.

Glen's 1st trip to the boardwalk — Jenkinson's 1999

It really is just the right size for little ones; ALL tuckered out by nap time (me, too) and we'd be loooong gone by the time the Jersey Shore night life, you know, woke up.

"I thought that ride was SO MUCH bigger!"

Then, before you know it, YOUR kids meet the maximum 48 inches to ride and, well, you know, you can't go back.

"Can we get zeppoles?!?"

Yesterday, however, was a GREAT day to get out (considering, September also translates to, "school holiday," in Jersey!) and housewife is such an oxymoron, dontchathink?

Mmmmm….the view inside a big bag of zeppoles (pronounced as zep-poh-leez) or, fried dough, drowning in powdered sugar, if you're NOT from Jersey.

"Noooo, I want funnel cake!!!"

Mmmmm…of course…(or, auf-cawse, if you're from Jersey) there's ALWAYS room for funnel cake!!!

"Wanna eat it on the beach?!?"

Bet you did NOT know we had palm trees, or blue skies, here in Jersey, right? Are they real? You know, I really don't know.

"This was really an AWESOME day, Momma!"

What we DO know is that there's SO MUCH more to Jersey than what some reality t.v. shows would care to admit, sort of.

"Too bad you ran outta money for the rides!"

Of course, it most likely will not be the one that my kids remember but, let's NOT go there…just yet…m'kay!?!?

© 2010 This
Full House Blog / This Full House Gone Shopping

September 10, 2010
This is What it Sounds Like, When Butterflies Cry

This is what 6:15 a.m. looks like, in Jersey!

The morning came quickly, as it usually does to a seasoned (i.e. perpetually perplexed and severely sleep-deprived) parent (like me) and, unlike most mornings, I let the dog out, while my husband started the coffee (bless his squishy heart) and we both continued to pretend like last night did NOT happen.

"She's in tears."

Long story, short (you're welcome) unlike her 3 siblings, today is the 1st day of school for my middle girl.

"What DID you say to her?"

Suffice it to say, I've earned yet ANOTHER ✔ mark in reasons why I make OTHER mothers look good (really, don't mention it!) by upsetting my daughter to the point of tears, on the night before her 1st day of high school.

"She started it!"

Did I forget to mention, her mother also happens to have the emotional maturity of a 9 year-old?!?

SLAM!

So, rather than expose my children to further examples of what NOT to do, for which I'm hoping their future significant others will thank me for, later (probably not) I took a self-imposed time out on our front porch.

Did I forget to mention, our front porch is NOT screened in, or the fact that I absolutely DESPISE bugs?!?

GAH!

So, rather than risk being eaten by mutant moths (Mothra lives!) I swallowed my mommy pride and slunked back into the house.

SLUNK!

"Can I talk to you, Mom?"

Long story, short (yeah, I know, I lied) we ARE a lot alike (my 14 year-old and me, I mean) and we were both just stressed out (to the MAX) by the fact that, you know, she is going into high school.

"Don't worry, Sweetie, you'll be just fiiiine!"

Boy, if I had a dollar for each time I lied (like that) well, you know.

"But, you're so far away, Mom!"

Did I forget to mention, she was accepted into a career academy, that happens to be 25 miles away (i.e. approx. 30 minutes, if you're from Jersey) and that the bus picks her up at 6:25 a.m.?!?

"Doesn't anybody stay in one place, aaaaanymore?!?"

[blank stare]

"It would be SO FINE to see your face at my door…"

[blink, blink]

"…doesn't help to know, that you're so…"

Did I forget to mention, whenever faced with a difficult parenting situation, under extreme pressure, I often break into song.

"Okay, you can STOP singing now!"

If only it were THAT easy.

Kindergarten Halloween Parade 2001

"Long ago I reached for you, and there you stood…"

Freshman in High School 2010

"Holding you again could only do me good…how I wish I could, but you're so far away…AND, I know you love me, aaaaaanyway."

[bites lower lip]

Okay, I added that last part in, but Heather and me, yeah, we're good (for now) and PLEASE don't tell her, or the part about her mother being SUCH a dork.

[heavy sigh]

Because, she's MY daughter and…trust me, she already knows…bless her squishy little heart!!!

© 2010 This Full House / This Full House Gone Shopping

September 7, 2010
The 11th First Day of School

"Wait, let me take your picture!!!"

My 11 year-old son (the ONLY boy in the house, btw) is smiling, but inside I know that he was all, like, JEEZ!

"CRAP! Wait, it's too dark!"

Frankly, the kid has lived with me long enough to know that, you know, it's just easier to pretend EVERYONE'S mother is a dork (like me) especially, on the first day of school.

"Okay, now, smile!"

DAMMIT! Hang on. Can I just, you know, UGH!!! Wait a minute. Is he? Nooooo. Who am I kidding? Maybe he was just wiping some leftover sleep from his eye. Or, a bug flew up his nose (it COULD happen) still, it would be nice to think that my kids, you know, like having me around, kind of, sort of, too.

"Wait, let me take your picture!!!"

My youngest daughter (she's 9) was packed and ready to start school, a couple of weeks ago and, no, I can't say as I blame her.

"CRAP! Wait, it's too light!"

She's the last of my kids to ever enter the 4th grade and, I'm sorry, but I just don't remember the other 3 ever looking THIS little.

"Okay, now, smile!"

DAMMIT! They just NEVER wait, anymore, do they? Maybe she was feeling sorry for her baby sister (ahem) or, because she's a freshman now and doesn't start HER high school until next week (SOB!) still, it would be nice to think that my kids, you know, really do like each other, kind of, sort of, too.

"Wait a minute…"

[scrolls thru cell phone]

"…who did I forget?"

DAMMIT! I'm just NOT ready to admit that MY OLDEST IS A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL!!! Maybe, it was just WAY too early in the morning and I couldn't find my phone (it COULD happen) still, it would be nice to think that she already knows, after ALL these years, I love her, just the same.

Wait a minute!

Does a "night before school starts" picture of my coloring her hair count for at least something?!?

[sound of many crickets, chirping]

Besides, the fact that, you know, YES, I am one of THOSE moms and, well, there could be worse things.

[ducks lightning bolt]

Like, she could have a mother stupid enough to actually leave that picture (up there) on Flickr, right?

[cricket]

Riiiiiight. Wait a minute. She DOES read my blog. D'OH! Never mind.

© 2010 This Full House / This Full House Gone Shopping

September 3, 2010
What I UnLearned on My Summer Vacation

Happy 20th Anniversary to us, Garth (not his real name!)

Most of my kids go back to school, this week — my middle girl has been accepted into a specialized high school and doesn't start until the Tuesday after Labor Day AND yes the other kids are NOT happy about it.

So, to soften the mood of our house (seriously, where DID the summer go?) my husband Garth (not his real name) surprised me for our 20th Wedding Anniversary (thanks for the well wishes, btw!) by taking a vacation day last Wednesday, Thursday AND Friday to spend more time with me (yes, ME!) doing absolutely nothing of REAL importance, which truly is a MONUMENTAL act of love, on his part.

Trust me, I know!!!

Although, it's nice to find some folks sharing their secrets to a happy marriage (97 of them, to be exact) I just think it would be prudent to just tell you that Garth (not his real name) and I have absolutely NO idea how we made it, this far!

Especially, considering what happened THIS passed weekend.

(more…)

August 30, 2010
Wordless Wednesday
Sisters Act…ing, Nicely

Holly and Heather, Bayshore Waterfront Park 2010

Taken with my cell phone. Imagine what I could do with a REAL camera? Yeah, I'm looking at you, Garth (not his real name!)

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Tag,
you're it: Wordless Wednesday

© 2010 This
Full House Blog – All Rights Reserved.

August 18, 2010
Reason #91,034,199 Why I WILL NOT Be Pregnant at #BlogHer10!
I dropped the kids off at my folks' place today and it's, like, back-to-school quiet around here. Good thing, too, seeing as I'm not even packed, yet.

"We're hungry!"

Last week? Sucked donkey balls (that one's for my friend, Surprised Mom) and, well, good thing I am the master of spontaneous parenting.

[looks in fridge]

"BREAKFAST…it's what's for dinner!"

So, tonight, I'm sitting here, at the kitchen table…ALL…BY…MYSELF…and listening to absolutely nothing…except, for the sounds of my husband Garth (not his real name) making dinner.

"Stir fry sound good, for you?"

Sure, I'm a little hesitant about leaving the kids (with my parents, I mean) still, they are getting older and basically take care of themselves (my kids, I mean) especially, if there's cable and a microwave nearby (oh, I kid, sort of) and my oldest girls are really GREAT at holding down the fort, in an emergency.

"Do you mind if I head over to Kohls?"

This week, I spent 90 minutes at Dress Barn on Monday and all I got was a stinkin' scarf (cute, but it still sorta stinks that I couldn't find anything else) to show for it.

"Okay, but I have to tell you something."

Which is really code for, "This way, I don't have to look at you," in teen text.

"But, I don't want to tell you over the phone."

Aw, crap.

Long story, short (you're welcome) here's the gyst of what happened…in bullet points:
- Hope (she's 9) has been asking me, every other day, to tell her about where babies came from
- At that very moment, on each of those days, I've had exactly 5 minutes, to spare
- Hope got tired of waiting
- Hope asked her brother, Glen (he's 11) where babies came from
- Aaaaand, he told her.
Because, I already had "the talk" with Glen — thanks a lot, Garth (not your real name!) — and, well, the boy was doing me a favor.

The girls punished him, anyway.

"What he say?"

Bulleted version:
- The husband lays on top of the wife
- He shoots this fish-like thing inside her
- It buries itself into one of the wife's eggs
- The egg grows inside the wife and turns into a baby
Aaaaand, he was right…mostly.

"Put him on the phone."

So, I un-punished Glen, scolded Holly and Heather (seriously, who's the mommy?) and promised to have "the talk" with Hope…aaaaaafter, I get back.

Morale of the Story: Kohls RAWKS, cell phones are NOT the devil and my husband's stir fry tastes even better…cold…pregnant…or, SO NOT!!!

In the meantime, look for me at BlogHer — I'll be the tall, dork-ish one texting her kids — trying to convince my youngest two that Headless Mom, you know, really does have a head and my oldest two that her blog name has absolutely NOTHING to do with sex!

I think.

© 2010 This
Full House Blog – All Rights Reserved.
August 4, 2010
Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Pretending Like It’s Two Zero Zero Four

This Full House 2004

Found this picture buried deep in our old desktop's files and, well, ignoring the fact that my laptop is STILL broken is not such a bad thing, after all. Buuuuut, now my face hurts, as I'm seriously considering climbing into the h…e…double hockey sticks of a crawl space over our garage and dusting off the crib…too.

Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
Tag, you're it: Wordless Wednesday

© 2010 This Full House Blog – All Rights Reserved.

July 14, 2010
Independence is a Relative Term

I was 12 years-old when we celebrated the Bi-centennial and, sadly, the only thing I remember from the day is getting these really cool pair of socks.

Oh…look…my first crushes…mostly him (on the left) it's like 1976, all over again!

No, these are NOT the socks (can't find a picture, anywhere) nor, do they have anything to do with Independence Day (so what?) but, I thought I'd share another favorite memory from my preteen years (50 extra points for the 1st person who can ADMIT to being able to name that t.v. show!) as, my parents worked (a lot) soooo, my twin brother and I stayed home and watched A LOT of television.

By ourselves.

Today, my kids also enjoy watching television (perhaps a little more than they should, I know) but, summer vacation is waaaay different (sounding really old, now, I know) from when I was their age.

"Why don't you guys go outside?"

Tell me it's like this at your house, too.

"But, it's toooooo hot!"

Because, I swear, my brother and I would have sold each other, to have a swimming pool…in our backyard.

"Will you come with us?"

Then again, there isn't much that my kids do…by themselves.

Or, without my parents.

"You guys coming over on Sunday, right?"

Their dependency on seeing the kids…me…my brother…every week…can be very trying, at times…especially, on Sundays.

"Absolutely, we will be there!"

Still, seeing my brother, watching him play with my kids, listening to his goofy laugh and then his wife yell at him for acting like, well, a 12 year-old [snicker] and getting the chance to spend the whole day…together…is like a breath of fresh air…really.

And then my father WILL start to cry.

"OMG…what's the matter?"

My mother will shake her head, bite her lower lip and then eventually tears would come to her eyes, too.

"No, really…Apu…what's bothering you?"

He will wipe his eyes and slowly look around the room.

"Nothing…seeing you and your brother together…I'm just happy…and that's all I ever wanted!"

My brother will suggest that we watch Independence Day, for the buh-zillion-th time (my son will be the 1st to agree) and then my mom will, once again, bring up the fact that Hope looks SO MUCH like I did, at her age.

And it will take a while for their words to sink in; eventually, the goosebumps will
hit, along with the realization that maybe my parents are NOT as dependent,
as I thought (go figure!) but, in their eyes, merely exercising their right as grandparents.

Or, getting another chance to celebrate deep pride in their adopted country…through their children's eyes…on Independence Day.

"I got an "A" on my report on Hungary…Papa!"

Aaaand, I can't think of any place I'd rather be, or anything else I'd rather be doing, at the moment.

Other than remembering the fun we had, the last time we visited with my brother and he gave the S.W.A.T. helmet to Hopey, on Memorial Day!

"You know, your mother spent a summer in Hungary AND she needed A LOT of band aids…too!"

Aaaaand, it's like 1976, all over again…sort of.

© 2010 This Full House Blog

July 2, 2010
The Seven Years of Mommyblogging and Happy Everything!

Almost 3 years ago, I watched my oldest daughter leave the house, for the first time, as a freshman in high school and I thought to myself…PHEW!…1 down and 3 to go!

Heather's 8th Grade Formal

This year, Heather (she's my middle girl) celebrated her last year of middle school by attending the 8th grade formal.

Glen's 5th Grade Graduation

Glen (my only son) graduated 5th grade and is officially now the 3rd Thompson to hit the middle school…in 5 years.

Happy 9th Birthday, Hopey

Aaaand, my youngest daughter just celebrated her last year, before hitting double-digits and was SO excited during her 4th grade orientation, knowing that her sisters and brother attended the same school, and happily admitted to her future new principal, "Nope, I'm the LAST one!"

What? I forgot to get the candle and 8 + 1 = 9, right?

The cake was supposed to say, "Happy Everything!" but, I didn't bust my husband's chops about it (see caption) honestly, I was just too busy stumbling around…feeling all dazed and confused…okay, it's been like that for the last 7 years…but, I am STILL blogging…there, I said it, can I go home now?

As you can see, it is written all over my face (the years, since I started blogging, I mean) still, I can't help but feel that with all these changes (the aforementioned happening ALL in the same week, btw) I have reached a milestone, of my own.

No, it hasn't gotten any easier (nuh-uh, sorry!) but, at least now my kids are now old enough to realize that…nope…life isn't always perfect (I know, act surprised anyway!) however, as their mother (yes, they are ALL mine) I have also learned to embrace those imperfections (mostly) and I truly believe we are ALL stronger for it.

At least, they seem to be more than okay with it.

[hands behind back, crosses fingers and grins]

Happy Everything!!!

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 25, 2010
Hump Day: Breakfast of Champions (i.e. Holy Hannah Montana, It IS the Week From Hell, Week!)

If you have a kid graduating/promoting/stressing over her hair for the 8th grade formal/and/or, celebrating a birthday, this week…then, you know I meant the Pepto Bismol, right?

Wake me up when Monday comes!!!

© 2010 This Full House Blog

June 16, 2010