Category: Extreme Home-Do-Over

  • Why…YES…we do kids parties, sort of.

    A lot of parents I know pride themselves in the fact that they just don’t do kids parties, anymore.  As well they should.  It takes a lot of time and effort (not to mention, money) to put one together (not to mention, the BIG CLEAN, afterwards) yet, my kids have attended dozens of "theme-park-type" birthdays, where the child’s entire class is invited and, you know, actually shows up, which often times leaves the rest of us feeling dazed and totally UGH-mazed!

    As a mom, I can certainly understand a parent’s need to celebrate their child.  Still.  Does my kid really need another 20, or more…I dunno…tangible reasons to understand how much he, or she, is loved?

    So, in an effort to reinforce the fact that my husband, Garth (not his real name) and I are truly observant and sensitive parents, our standard policy on throwing parties has been one of total avoidance.

    Until our kids took matters into their own hands and showed us, a thing, or two!

    (more…)

  • Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Hot Dogs and Warm Heart

    Hotdogswarmheart_2

    My mom is still in the hospital, but she’s doing nicely – thank you for your kind thoughts – so, I was able to spend the last night of spring break with my kids.  But, I was emotionally spent and way too tired to cook.  So, when my kids asked my husband Garth (not his real name) if they could roast marshmallows, I told them that we were all out of marshmallows (stupid food shopping) but, suggested that perhaps they’d like to cook their hot dogs on the fire pit, instead.

    [eyes go wide]

    "For real?"

    You see, 2 of my kids want to go camping…but, the other half don’t like bugs…and thanks to having given birth to all 4…my sciatica does’t do tents, very well…so, roughing-it seems a little too much work, if you ask me.

    Still.

    It warms my mommyblogging heart to get a chance to do something…anything…together and kicking back in our yard is perhaps the closest our family gets to, you know, going wild.

    "Where’s Mini-me?"

    [shrugs shoulders]

    "She said she doesn’t like turkey dogs and is looking for something else to eat."

    [SLAM]

    "Okay, I found some meat-wike-wooking-thing in the fweezer…I think it’s eat-uh-bow!"

    It’s seems like my youngest daughter (she’s 6) can fend for herself and doesn’t have a problem playing "survivor girl," thankyouvermuch!

    Check out the Official Wordless Wednesday HQ
    Tag, you’re it:

    ———————————————————————–

    I’ve got tons of stuff to catch up on here and I’m heading back to my folks’ house tomorrow, but I’ll be back home on Monday.  So, please make yoursevles at home, feel free to check out This Full House Reviews: Vincent Shoes – Designers for kids, just like mine…too! and – if you haven’t, already – don’t forget to enter our bloggy giveaway for The Flip camera!

    Wishing you all a great weekend and TGIF…early!

    © 2008 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.

    [Please, clean off a chair and stay a while – subscribe to email updates or the RSS feed or – if you really, really like me – then Digg This, I’ll love you forever!]

  • Carnival of Family Life: Extreme Homemaker Edition – Now, available with more Pooh!

    Welcome to the March 10, 2008 Edition of the Carnival of Family Life – The Extreme Homemaker

     

    Everyone likes to share information about their family – YES, they do – especially
    parents! Here’s a place where you can sit down, have a cup of coffee (or, a beverage of your choice)
    and share your thoughts, stories, and experiences.

    Today, the carnival is making a stop at our house and I am very honored to be your hostess with the mostest…dust bunnies, that is.  So, for you first time visitors – welcome to our home, don’t be shy, come on in – my name is Liz and I am the keeper of This Full House.  We have lots to talk about…

    (more…)

  • Thursday Thirteen #7 – Go Slow, Tired Moms Ahead.

    Thursdaythirteenpurple

     

    There’s an interesting article in USA Today about how babies can cause "momnesia", the mental fuzziness and memory lapses that set in shortly after childbirth.

    The article goes on to give expert opinions on the subject and why some women would be reluctant to talk about their memory problems.  One that hit home, for me, was for fear of
    being judged poorly at work.

    Uh-huh.

    NOT just at work and It doesn’t go away, either.  Still.  If you’re wondering (or, worried) about the long-term effects of "momnesia," don’t sweat it.  Take it from me – nearly 15 years of working in the trenches – here are 13 reasons why I do NOT think you’re crazy.

    The Thirteen Signs That You ARE A Mom:

    (more…)

  • How many Sears representatives DOES it take to screw a dissatisfied customer…DAMMIT?

    [This entry is cross-posted with Moms Speak Up]

    Laundrybackup

    This is an emergency, people – quick, somebody call Ty Pennington – we seem to have a severe laundry backup!

    Now, I’m NOT the type of person who likes to complain – heaven knows, my mommy ears are VERY tired already – but, our nearly new dryer broke two weeks ago and it’s STILL not fixed DAMMIT!

    Did I mention, we’ve got 6 people living in our house?

    Last week, The Boy (he’s 9) had a wicked stomach virus and threw up 11 times, on Thursday – I know, my 6-year-old was home sick with a fever and was good enough to count it for me – oh, and…DAMMIT…our nearly new dryer STILL doesn’t work!?!?

    Not for the lack of trying – we’ve got the service center on speed dial – but, it seems that reliable customer service is the last thing on Sears’ mind.

    (more…)

  • The Christmas House: More than just a box with pretty lights.

     Adventcalendar_6

    I’ve been thinking, lately – a dangerous habit, I know – about how my husband Garth (not his real name) and I have started to downsize our family celebrations.

    Not that they were HUGE, to begin with – if you have kids, then you know – but, our children enjoy spending time with both sets of their grandparents and have looked forward to their birthday dinners out, wherever they choose.

    Christmastime, however, is a bear.

    Besides the typical preparations that go along with celebrating a holiday supposedly meant as a time for family and friends – after finding out who is going to be around and wherever that will be, at the time – it always turns out to be a balancing act.

    As you know, I am NOT very graceful.

    This year, the grandparents are dealing with some pretty serious health and family issues.

    Which ones?

    Both; my parents and in-laws are going through some serious suckage at the moment and, not only does it totally SUCK that my brother’s unit is being deployed, AGAIN, it’s causing severe damage on my Christmas Mojo.

    I’m just not feeling it, ya’ll.

    Which, of course, means that I have been desperately trying to NOT have my children pick up on the fact that I, obviously, put the desperate into housewife…since, like, 1993.

    "Are you coming on Sunday?"

    Shhhh.

    [balancing act in progress]

    "No, actually, I’m taking the kids out and hoping to let your daughter try to, you know, catch up with herself."

    I love Garth (not his real name) – bless his squishy heart –  but, it’s times like this when I wonder.

    "How long do you need?"

    Will it ever be enough and, you know, WHEN?

    "About three weeks should do it, thanks!"

    Actually, all I need is to wrap, cook, bake and…um…shop…no, that’s not it…I finished yesterday with my SIL…uh…there’s something I’m forgetting, I know…give me a minute and perhaps it’ll come to me.

    "Can we go to the Christmas House?"

    I was trying to download some music into my SIL’s new Mp3 player and somehow was trying to pretend that I didn’t know, that she knows, I’m NOT technical, like that – bless her squishy heart –  and, YES, we were having problems that were terribly technical-like.

    "Tonight; are you kidding me?"

    I was so NOT in the mood to go anywhere else.

    "But, you promised we would take Aunt Waynicerthanmommy!"

    [Wayne, for short]

    "I dunno, go ask Daddy."

    I mean, it can be tiring, being such a bad guy…mommy…whatever…and all!

    "Sure, as soon as Mommy’s ready."

    Bless his squishy heart.

    "Besides, it’s not too far, Sis, and it’ll be worth the ride, you’ll see."

    Christmashouse07

    As you can see, the Griswold’s have NOTHING on this place.

    According to this article, there are 8.4 miles of lights on the property and
    79 Christmas trees outside the house; 16 Christmas trees adorn the
    inside of the house and that the electricity bill is about $3,500 for the seven
    weeks the lights are on.

    "How did you guys ever find this place?"

    Driving home from my parents house, I think, go figure.

    "WICKED!"

    Some may perhaps argue, that the use of so many brightly colored lights – not to mention, the energy used to fire them up – and the owner’s efforts at spreading holiday cheer isn’t very, you know, green.

    "Can I have some money?!?!"

    I kept staring up at all the pretty lights and tried not to add to my growing impatience with Mini-me, this past week.

    "There is absolutely NOTHING you need to buy here, Sweetie."

    She pointed at the box at the end of the walk – which asks for donations for St. Jude Children’s Hospital and the Children’s Diabetes Fund – and this message:

    "It’s not a Christmas well – it’s a magical Christmas box. Drop in some
    love and hope. Lets make the children well."

    My eyes fogged up.

    "No, I want to drop it in there!"

    No, it’s not easy being happy – especially, when the world is surrounded in such misery – but, I didn’t have to dig very deep to find my Christmas mojo and all it took was simple drop in the well.

    I mean, box.

    Thank you, Mr. Steinke – the owner of the Christmas House – for interrupting your Christmas party, to come out and greet us, and wish total strangers well.

    "We’re looking forward to playing Harmonies For Christmas!"

    Not just for the cool CD – everyone got one for an $8.00 donation into the box – you’ve given me (and my family) more than you’ll ever know.

    "I do it for my kids, your kids and making some people a little happier is what Christmas is all about; don’t ya’ think?"

    You know, I guess, maybe you do.

    Merry Christmas to all – especially, YOU my blogging friends – and to all a good night.

    [shrugs shoulders]

    Oh, just look at ALL the pretty lights!

    [YAWN]

    If anyone needs me, I’ll be upstairs counting my blessings – 4 of whom are probably STILL awake – praying for peace and hugging Garth (not his real name) bless his squishy heart!

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  • Picture Perfect Thursday: Attack of the Smiley Fries

    I am NOT a morning person and my husband is…well, let me just tell you…he’s like a fluffy little bird happily twittering about in the early morning sunshine – scary, I know – needless to say, we go to great lengths to stay out of each other’s way and try not to, you know, talk…too much.

    "Coffee?"

    He hands me a hot steaming mug filled with the sweet elixir of life, as I stumble off to the shower.

    "Herumpfuh."

    Then, feeds the animals.  I mean, the pets.  The kids are old enough to fend for themselves, thank you.

    "Turkey, roast beef or peanut butter?"

    Also, makes their lunches.

    "Nope, uh-huh, I don’t think so and NO, because you just bought yesterday!"

    And fields any (and all) of their questions – although, the children have not yet appreciated the fact that, in doing so, their father HAS saved them from encounters with the beast, that is their mother – bless his squishy heart.

    By dinnertime, it’s a whole different story!

    "Beer?"

    So, he’s a morning person and I’m…well, let me just tell you…I’m like a night owl.  All bug-eyed and barrel-chested, with nerves jumping and ready for bear.

    "Himumpfuh"

    Seriously, at the end of the day, the man is an absolute grump!

    "Oh, no…look out!"

    Especially, when I do something totally unexpected and scare the bees-juice out of him!

    "WHAT!?!?!"

    [eyes go wide]

    "The…the…smiley fries!"

    I grabbed his tie, pulled him closer and pointed toward the kitchen counter.

    "They…are…ATTACKING!"

    Friescomingtogetyou2

    "They’re coming to get you, Daddy!"

    [rolls eyes]

    "Stop it, you’re being STUPID!"

    Friescomingtogetyou3

    "They’re coming for you, Daddy!"

    [cracks a smile]

    "Okay, now you’re JUST weird."

    Friescomingtogetyou4

    "They’re coming for YOU!"

    [bites lower lip]

    "Shhhh, the kids are watching!"

    Friescomingtogetyou5

    "Look, there comes one of them now!"

    [frowning]

    "Stop it, they’ll hear you!"

    Friescomingtogetyou6

    "Here he comes now…GAH…I’m getting OUTTA OF HERE!"

    I was able to crack through that tough-Daddy shell of his and I ask you, how could he NOT smile!?!

    "I…LOVE…yooooou!"

    Honestly, with fries like these, what’s NOT to love?

    "Now, where’s my beer?"

    So, I guess what I’m saying is, contrary to popular opinion, opposites really DO attract – it’s what helps keep the spice in our marriage, anyways – unfortunately, I must have commanded a little too much of The Boy’s attention, for once.

    "Daaaaaaady!"

    Garth (not his real name) got up with him, last night – bless his squishy heart – because, The Boy very rarely calls out for, you know, me.

    "Coming, Buddy!"

    Go figure.

    "Coffee?"

    But, this time, it was ME who got up with the pets, made the lunches, etc…

    "Himumpfuh."

    So, you see, it all works out in the end.

    "What’s for dinner, tonight?"

    [giggle]

    "Swedish meatballs!"

    [eyes go wide]

    "Oooooh, I can’t wait!"

    What?

    [shrugs shoulders]

    Yes, there’s only 6 more sleeps until Christmas and it’s a stressful time for everyone.

    "Momma, I don’t feel so…[gulp]…BLAAAAAH!"

    Especially, when yet other one of your kids wakes up sick and pukes all over the breakfast table…AGAIN!

    "Herumpfuh!"

    What; you want fries with that?

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    [Edited to add:  Please remember to leave a comment on Bloggers Unite – if you haven’t already, won’t you consider visiting my post and Delurking for a cause, or for even a DORK, like me!?!?]

    Submitted to:

    Blog Carnival archive - carnival of family life

    Carnival of Family Life

  • Monday Mommy Tip: Stop, Drop and Breath!

     

    Mmt

     

    I used to hate Mondays – well…being that it IS laundry day in This Full House of holey socks, that’s a whole LOT of laundry! –  but, since the kids seem to have finished tag-teaming each other with the creeping crud, I can FINALLY brush my teeth (you’re welcome) and spend a few moments in peace and relative quiet.

    Seriously, I’ve got a houseful of people coming on Thursday (read:  time to break out the extra folding chairs and "good" toilet paper) and this is about the ONLY time I’m going to get, you know, alone.

    With you, I mean.

    So, let’s get this party started – Blogomama.com is a blogging mom-type community that I enjoy visiting, especially on Mondays, because it’s ALL about me…uh, I mean…the meme and sharing little tidbits of just how in the h-e-double hockey sticks am I going to get through another gosh-darned week of…ahem…well, never mind…let’s just move on…shall we?

    Today’s mission – should you chose to accept – how to survive those annoying little pre-holiday preparations, without having to go CRAZY?

    [drum roll, please]

    Plan ahead…as little as possible.

    Seriously, take it from me – we’ve seen everything from snow storms in the summer, to heat waves in the winter, from animals throwing up on each other, to appliances actually blowing up and at least one kid sick every freakin’ holiday, or Aunt Flo making another one of her famous unannounced visits – why make yourself crazy?

    Stop, take a breath and just..you know…go with the flow!

    [snicker]

    Sorry.

    Allow yourself some time to breath and leave the rest up to…well…would it kill me to forget the stupid laundry, for once?

    No.

    But, like my good friend Dana, I hate…Hate…HAte…HATe…HATE cleaning out the fridge and, if I hadn’t read her post, I would have probably NEVER have thought about doing it, either.

    Thanks, Dana.

    [rolls eyes]

    Because, well…uh…cheese and rice there’s so much to do this week, already…yes?

    [rolls shoulders and scratches head]

    I could be like my friend Mary Tsao (gosh, but I love saying her name) and clean my fridge every week and not have to deal with all the…um…well, I dunno exactly what and there’s a whole lot of unidentifiable stuff growing and taking up house, in my fridge, at the moment.

    But, we ARE talking Queen of the Dorks here – no, not Mary…ME! – so, after I took Thing One for her blood test on Friday (still waiting to hear if it’s mono, or just a case of the creepiest crud…EVUH!) I went food shopping.

    YeeHah – wild and crazy woman that I am – but, of course, you know what that means, don’t-cha?

    Yes, ladies (and the men who…sort of managed to stumble in…just to get out of the cold) it’s time to play…

    [cue the Capital One Vikings]

    …what’s in YOUR fridge?

    Fridgebeforenotes_5

    Oh, it may not look so bad right now – yes, I took pictures…SO WHAT? – just be glad that you’re not actually standing here and, you know, smelling it.  But, if you’re into that sort of  stuff…[cough]…freak…[cough]…feel free to click on the picture and take a closer look.

    [drum roll, please]

    Cleanfridge

    Look, it’s so much brighter – I just can’t put anything on the top shelf, at the moment – now, I can face the rest of the week knowing that…AT LEAST…the fridge is cleaner than it’s been in, you know, weeks!

    Fridgefront_2

    Until, I closed the door.

    Now, I’m trying to figure out a way to convince Garth (not his real name) that we so NEED one of these, since the fridge is just about the ONLY thing in this house that is NOT about ready to keel over and call it a day.

    Go figure.

    [Edited to add:  Doctor just called.  It’s NOT mono!]

    You’re more than welcome to join me, next time, as I teach everyone the fine art of playing:

    "C’mon, kids…drop the Play Station and let’s hide the laundry!"

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some serious cleaning to do…DAMMIT!

  • I never dreamed that motherhood would be so…um…excuse me…but, what was I saying?

    I asked Thing Two to help me figure out what to get for Thing One’s birthday – because, you know, they talk to each other – so, after we dropped her and The Boy off at a birthday party, yesterday –  for one of Thing One’s best friends, who has a brother, who goes to school with The Boy, and invited him, apparently, their house is in need of some testosterone, too – Thing Two, Mini-me and I headed over to Famous Footwear.

    "I dunno, are you sure?"

    Bearpaw

    Yes, the boots are FABULOUS, but I wanted to be sure that it was what Thing One wanted.

    "I swear…these ARE the same exact ones Thing One pointed out in the flyer, Momma!"

    Still.

    "Try them on!"

    What?

    "I mean, you guys DO wear the same size!"

    Yes, but she’s so much more…you know…grown up and thems are some really, really big shoes to fill!

    Still.

    It seems like only yesterday

    "What are you doing?"

    I was anxiously awaiting the birth of my first child – boy, or girl, we wanted to be surprised – and I was going through
    a serious phase of cleaning every visible surface of the house.  I had
    the last batch of 3 dozen cookies baking in the oven when my water
    broke.

    "Hanging out and waiting for you."

    Garth (not his real name) came bursting through the
    front door with his tie literally wrapped around his neck and nearly
    fell on his face.  I had my feet curled under me and was reading a book.

    "Want a cookie?"

    Today…..

    I am going through a serious bout
    of indifference and find myself avoiding every visible sign of dust,
    lint, dirty dishes and the never-ending story that is my laundry. Even
    the cats have given up on getting fed and won’t come calling until my
    husband gets home from work. I’ve resorted to purchasing ready-made
    refrigerated cookie dough and haven’t picked up a book in…uh…what day is it, again?

    It seems like only yesterday……

    I napped when she
    napped and I planned my entire day around her feeding, sleeping, bathing and oh, the weather.

    If it was nice, I would take her for a walk in her stroller and enjoy the break away from the solitude and a change of scenery.

    If it was nasty, we would
    sit together for hours and play, read, bake or watch her favorite videos.

    Today…..

    Oh, I’ve grown accustomed to having my day dictated by more than one schedule and, most likely, asking the children to remind me to…well…NOT forget.  But, finding a way to carve out time for
    myself and Garth (not his real name) still eludes me, as much as sleep.  Not for the lack of trying.  But, I just can’t seem to be able to get it together, OR shut it all down.

    Still.

    It seems like only yesterday…..

    I did NOT wake to find an eager
    pair (or, pairs) of eyes waiting to greet me with a kiss.

    “I made
    dis for you. It’s a picture of Mommmmeee dressed like a pwincess
    because you are so boo-e-ful!”

    I didn’t get any Mother’s Days gifts
    made by little hands, with lots of blue crayon and adorably
    misspelled words.

    “Hapee Movers Day. I wuv u Mommy.”

    There were
    days when I was actually bored, lonely, never worried about what time
    it was or, hardly appreciated the therapeutic benefits of a little quiet
    time and a good book.

    "No, because tomorrow is pizza and movie night, but how about we have breakfast for dinner?!?"

    I never dreamed being a mother would be so…excuse me, a moment.

    "Yes, you may borrow my shoes, as long as they get put BACK and in the SAME condition you found them…um…in!"

    I’m sorry, what was I saying?

    3

    Today…..so, my first born baby girl has managed to sneak in another year and turned 14 years-old.  WAIT!  That’s just not right.  I’m still getting used to 13, sort of.

    In a few minutes, she’ll wake and the celebrations will start, for the 14th time.  She’ll be searching for clues and hunting for her birthday presents – no, it shouldn’t be that easy – not to mention, blow out the candles on yet another birthday cake…our 38th as parents, to be exact.

    Happy
    Birthday to my Thing One!

    Thank you for being such a good baby, for allowing me to love you, even when you don’t like me and still finding it in your heart to let me be…well…you know…your everything.

    [rolls eyes]

    No, you may NOT get a tattoo!

    [glances out the window]

    But…um…can I borrow your boots?

  • Summer Vacation: On bad luck, superstition and being scared half to death, twice – Day 25

    Deathmask

    […exercising a vested interest in spawning fear since 1993]

    Having been raised in a very superstitious household – where spilled
    salt and broken mirrors were considered unfavorable signs of bad things
    to come – and being a very clumsy child, I was a cause of deep concern
    for my family and often times found myself the subject to one of my
    grandmother’s homemade remedies, or lucky charms.

    Did they work?

    Depends on who you ask – especially, whenever things finally went
    right – my grandmother swears it did and growing up, I was scared to
    death that lightening would strike and somehow I would be blamed.

    And then, it didtwice – and now, I’ve got both my husband and poor mother-in-law scared to death!

    You see, she reads my blog – hi mom, how’s it hanging? – and my
    husband is simply horrified by the fact that I might, you know, write
    about something that his mother may NOT necessarily care to know, or
    read about.

    SNORT.

    Like, she raised five children and has babysat ALL four of
    our children on numerous occasions. I mean, my kids can’t wait to tell
    grandma, "Our house almost burned down" and "The car almost broke," or,
    "Guess what Mommy did?" and give me up…all…the…time.

    Trust me, she knows.

    "Are you recovered, yet?"

    My husband got home from work and I had just finished chasing my
    husband into the pool – he was in a terrible mood and needed to soak
    his cranky butt, badly – when my mother-in-law called, as I was
    finishing dinner.

    "Um…from which thing?"

    I mean, seriously.

    "Oh, I’m sorry, the thing with the lightening, losing power and everything."

    See, she knows.

    "Oh, that…yeah, how weird was that?"

    Silence.

    "We want to come over and hear all about it – when would be a good time?"

    Wait a minute.

    "Uh…well, it’s almost seven…and we’re almost ready to have dinner…so, I guess in an hour?"

    My in-laws almost NEVER do anything, without consulting their
    calendar, or calling, well in advance and – since I am considering
    changing my first name to, last minute – this was a most welcome and
    refreshing change of events.

    "We’ll be there in an hour-and-a-half, then."

    Good, just enough time for me to fumigate the house (stupid cat) light some candles (stupid dog) and hide the laundry!

    "How are you feeling, today?"

    Okay, this time, my husband looked just as confused as, you know, I can get.

    [shrugs]

    "Fine…uh, mom…why?"

    Uh-oh.

    "Well, we heard what happened to you…and thought
    we’d call and come right over…and wanted to see if you were, you
    know, okay."

    You smell something?

    "No, I’m fine, lightening either hit the branch, or close enough to fry the circuits and cause it to lose power."

    Because, judging by the way my mother-in-law was looking at me, I swear my hair’s on fire!

    "By the way, how did you know?"

    [shrugs]

    "I read it on HER blog!"

    [biting lower lip]

    "I didn’t say…I mean…I DID say that he came
    home…I guess it sounded, you know, a lot worse, huh?…I mean…did I
    mention I made him Grape Nut Pudding!?!"

    Morale of the story: be careful what you blog, it could get you
    fired – or, scare your mother-in-law half to death and cause you to
    burst into flames and wish you were hit by lightening, twice.

    Lucky for me, technically, I don’t work and we’re not related.

    Stupid blog!