This Full House Archive

Category: Because Nice Matters!

  • This Is My Early Morning Singing Song!

    Thisfullhousepajamamama_2
    Gliddy glub gloopy
    Nibby nabby noopy
    La la la lo lo…

    I’m not a morning person.  I’m a mommy, you know what I mean?  Still.  My husband Garth (not his real name) couldn’t care less if I woke up, tomorrow, decided to shave my head and start referring to myself as:

    "Hello, my name is Starshine and I AM Mr. Clean’s bitch!"

    I’m telling you, as weird as it sounds, he’d STILL think I’m sexy.

    Why?

    Because, my husband is really NOT all that interested in what’s going on with my head – yes, he is a very smart man – but, he HAS sung praises of his love for me…from the neck down…many, many times.

    (more…)

  • A Perfect Post for April – So, You From Wisconsin?

    Beachwalking

    The kids and I recently had the pleasure of introducing my friend Dana (she’s from Wisconsin) to her first seaside experience, not to mention the best damned "boardwalk pizza" in the Garden State!

    Okay, New Jersey is not perfect – people are buying gas less and spending most of their money on groceries, including us – but, I’m comforted by the fact that waterfront is at least within walking distance.

    Until, I read my friend Cheryl’s post on how she was, you know, okay with leaving the waves behind – she’s ALSO from Wisconsin.

    (more…)

  • The Christmas House: More than just a box with pretty lights.

     Adventcalendar_6

    I’ve been thinking, lately – a dangerous habit, I know – about how my husband Garth (not his real name) and I have started to downsize our family celebrations.

    Not that they were HUGE, to begin with – if you have kids, then you know – but, our children enjoy spending time with both sets of their grandparents and have looked forward to their birthday dinners out, wherever they choose.

    Christmastime, however, is a bear.

    Besides the typical preparations that go along with celebrating a holiday supposedly meant as a time for family and friends – after finding out who is going to be around and wherever that will be, at the time – it always turns out to be a balancing act.

    As you know, I am NOT very graceful.

    This year, the grandparents are dealing with some pretty serious health and family issues.

    Which ones?

    Both; my parents and in-laws are going through some serious suckage at the moment and, not only does it totally SUCK that my brother’s unit is being deployed, AGAIN, it’s causing severe damage on my Christmas Mojo.

    I’m just not feeling it, ya’ll.

    Which, of course, means that I have been desperately trying to NOT have my children pick up on the fact that I, obviously, put the desperate into housewife…since, like, 1993.

    "Are you coming on Sunday?"

    Shhhh.

    [balancing act in progress]

    "No, actually, I’m taking the kids out and hoping to let your daughter try to, you know, catch up with herself."

    I love Garth (not his real name) – bless his squishy heart –  but, it’s times like this when I wonder.

    "How long do you need?"

    Will it ever be enough and, you know, WHEN?

    "About three weeks should do it, thanks!"

    Actually, all I need is to wrap, cook, bake and…um…shop…no, that’s not it…I finished yesterday with my SIL…uh…there’s something I’m forgetting, I know…give me a minute and perhaps it’ll come to me.

    "Can we go to the Christmas House?"

    I was trying to download some music into my SIL’s new Mp3 player and somehow was trying to pretend that I didn’t know, that she knows, I’m NOT technical, like that – bless her squishy heart –  and, YES, we were having problems that were terribly technical-like.

    "Tonight; are you kidding me?"

    I was so NOT in the mood to go anywhere else.

    "But, you promised we would take Aunt Waynicerthanmommy!"

    [Wayne, for short]

    "I dunno, go ask Daddy."

    I mean, it can be tiring, being such a bad guy…mommy…whatever…and all!

    "Sure, as soon as Mommy’s ready."

    Bless his squishy heart.

    "Besides, it’s not too far, Sis, and it’ll be worth the ride, you’ll see."

    Christmashouse07

    As you can see, the Griswold’s have NOTHING on this place.

    According to this article, there are 8.4 miles of lights on the property and
    79 Christmas trees outside the house; 16 Christmas trees adorn the
    inside of the house and that the electricity bill is about $3,500 for the seven
    weeks the lights are on.

    "How did you guys ever find this place?"

    Driving home from my parents house, I think, go figure.

    "WICKED!"

    Some may perhaps argue, that the use of so many brightly colored lights – not to mention, the energy used to fire them up – and the owner’s efforts at spreading holiday cheer isn’t very, you know, green.

    "Can I have some money?!?!"

    I kept staring up at all the pretty lights and tried not to add to my growing impatience with Mini-me, this past week.

    "There is absolutely NOTHING you need to buy here, Sweetie."

    She pointed at the box at the end of the walk – which asks for donations for St. Jude Children’s Hospital and the Children’s Diabetes Fund – and this message:

    "It’s not a Christmas well – it’s a magical Christmas box. Drop in some
    love and hope. Lets make the children well."

    My eyes fogged up.

    "No, I want to drop it in there!"

    No, it’s not easy being happy – especially, when the world is surrounded in such misery – but, I didn’t have to dig very deep to find my Christmas mojo and all it took was simple drop in the well.

    I mean, box.

    Thank you, Mr. Steinke – the owner of the Christmas House – for interrupting your Christmas party, to come out and greet us, and wish total strangers well.

    "We’re looking forward to playing Harmonies For Christmas!"

    Not just for the cool CD – everyone got one for an $8.00 donation into the box – you’ve given me (and my family) more than you’ll ever know.

    "I do it for my kids, your kids and making some people a little happier is what Christmas is all about; don’t ya’ think?"

    You know, I guess, maybe you do.

    Merry Christmas to all – especially, YOU my blogging friends – and to all a good night.

    [shrugs shoulders]

    Oh, just look at ALL the pretty lights!

    [YAWN]

    If anyone needs me, I’ll be upstairs counting my blessings – 4 of whom are probably STILL awake – praying for peace and hugging Garth (not his real name) bless his squishy heart!

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  • Bloggers Unite – When a simple act of kindness means delurking for even a dork, like me!

    Bloggersunitebadge

    Bloggers from around the world are performing acts of kindness and today, December 17th – with only 8 more sleeps until Christmas – I am honored to dedicate today’s blog post to telling you about Carol for A Cause and, hopefully, share a little of the spirit of giving, with you.

    Yes, even YOU – yep, CAN so see you – way in the back, looking all shopped out and blogging in your pajamas!

    This is the 3rd year that Marie from Mommy Community is hosting the fundraiser – it started on December 13th and ends on Christmas Day – as we listen to moms and their kids carol for this wonderful cause.

    To listen to carols – click here.

    You’ll be given an opportunity to leave a donation – all proceeds will be given to the Susan Komen Breast Cancer Foundation – and any amount you can donate will be greatly appreciated, I’m sure.

     

    It’s easy to do good so please join me – won’t you? – because, nice really DOES matter and it IS a small act of kindness, after all!

    As an added incentive – not to mention, perhaps saving you from yet another to-do, or two – I’m calling you out (yes, YOU) and ask that you consider leaving your name (or, NOT) and This Full House will donate $1.00 for each comment received on this post, to Carol for a Cause!

    There, consider your good deed done for the day!

    Because I am a major DORK and my name is NOT Dooce – seriously, the woman would be looking at LEAST a triple-digit donation – I’m leaving comments open until the end of the week and thank you, in advance, for your kindness.

    Feel free to pass this along, share it with a blogging friend, or two and consider this OUR chance to show the
    world that bloggers have heart online and off!

    [wipes chocolate from mouth and puckers lips]

    BRING IT!



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  • If the shoe fits, then you’re right, I’m mean and it’s probably NOT my shoe, anyway.

    Waitingformikulas

    Yesterday, was Mikulas Day – December 6th is when the Hungarian Santa, or St. Nicholas visits children and leaves his gifts – and the kids were excited to wake up and find their shoes filled with chocolates, candy and a new Christmas mug.

    "Whoa, you guys ARE sooooo lucky!"

    Even through the very nasal tone, I recognized it to be my son’s voice and waited, along with everyone else, for The Boy to explain, except Mini-me.

    "Nuh-uh; I got the same stuff, YOU did!"

    My two oldest girls are 14 and nearly 12 – they have done this before and understand how it works – and having dealt with "the creeping crud" this week, I still wasn’t feeling very well, so, I was happy to hear Thing One and Thing Two intervene on Mikulas’ behalf and just sort of, you know, listened from upstairs.

    "Mini-me is right, nobody got anymore than anyone else."

    Then, I heard someone stomp their foot.

    "Noooo, I know THAT!"

    Judging from the tone, I assumed it was The Boy.

    "I mean, she hasn’t been very good, pretty bad, actually and she’s just lucky she didn’t get any coal!"

    D’oh, and there went any thoughts of my sleeping in.

    "Hey, KNOCK IT OFF down there!"

    I know – yelling at the kids first thing in the morning on Mikulas Day, and all – but at least it shut them up and long enough, you know, for me to kick the dog off the bed, get some feeling back into my legs and crawl downstairs.

    "That wasn’t a very nice thing to say, Sweetie."

    Even though it’s, you know, true.  Being 4th in line – not to mention, cute as she is – my youngest daughter, unfortunately, has learned a lot watching her older sisters and brother, which means she knows just how to get her way, by getting on everyone’s nerve, quicker and is way smarter than I am.

    "Yah, kind of wude, too and you should take away his choc-wits and teach him a wesson!"

    Mini-me has been a pill, lately.

    "No, I don’t think what The Boy said was THAT bad, really!"

    He stomped his foot – yep, I was right! – but, this time, The Boy’s voice was way louder, than mine.

    "I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT THE GIRLS!"

    Huh?

    "I was talking about you, Mom!"

    HUH, wait a minute…and…WHAT!?!?

    "You haven’t been a very nice Mommy."

    Yeah, well, are we ever?  Besides, I didn’t fight Garth (not his real name) when he gave them ALL a mental day off, yesterday – a perk for bringing home very good report cards – but, I was sick and then he went to work…oh, and…SO!?!?

    "But, Mikulas only cares about YOU kids!"

    [eyes go wide]

    "Yeah, but Thing One used one of YOUR shoes!"

    [sound of crickets]

    "I don’t think Mikulas know-dit!"

    Oh, how the kids laughed and I just sort of, you know, went back to bed, but not before speaking up for all us, mean Moms.

    "See, I guess even Mikulas knows that Mommy’s need a break and that even HE can make mistakes, sometimes!"

    Besides, Thing One and I DO wear the same size and clearly, if he’d known the shoe fit, Mikulas would have left Vodka!

    [blank stare]

    TGIF, everyone – if anyone needs me, I’ll be upstairs, coughing up a lung and tending to a very sick little Mini-me.

    Stupid shoes!

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  • Saying “I love you,” means never having to drive in Jersey.

    I love my car – a Kia Sedona in a lovely shade of suburban sprawl – and spend a whole lot of my time, sitting in it.

    Seriously.

    Especially, this week, driving back-and-forth, while visiting my aunt in the hospital – thank you for your prayers and good wishes, they worked! – while she recuperates from diabetic shock, kidney failure, something some other hospital screwed up in her stomach, last time, oh…and…A HEART ATTACK!?!?

    Man, the woman can fight!

    Needless to say, the family has a long road ahead of them – the doctors have given Theresa about a year – and traveling down the shore (or, up the parkway) got me thinking.  A dangerous habit to get into, I know, for someone so, you know, dorky.

    What is up with all the rudeness?

    I mean, thank goodness Garth (not his real name) was driving, the other night – man, it was foggy – I had BOTH my hands free to let people know just how I felt.

    Especially, you – WOMAN, driving the white SUV close enough for me to read your lips – kiss my rear fender!

    [sits on hands for fear of poking an eye out]

    Let me tell you, it’s a battle and I’m seriously reconsidering my position on the alarming rash of Hummers I’ve seen riding around our quiet little county, lately, and perhaps painting Bertha (she’s my car) a lovely shade of suburban assault!

    What?

    Why, yes, I’ve always named my cars – it empowers me to have another female on my side and I also believe it improves my driving skills exponentially, okay – and, honestly, would you mess with a woman named Bertha?

    [shrugs shoulders]

    Needless to say, keeping up with our crazy schedule, AND one of the kids getting sick, AND the dog eating the last of the cinnamon buns – also taking into consideration, the ridiculous amount of time I’ve spent, driving and/or sitting on my hands, this week – my nerves are shot.

    So, Garth (not his real name) sent me an email, this morning – one of the ONLY times we get to, you know, talk to each other, sort of – and I thought I’d share it with my online friends, and perhaps offer a better understanding of why I have a problem using the moniker "stay-at-home" mom – an oxymoron, at best – when I spend most of my time, on the road, with Bertha.

    [blows bangs out of eyes and backs it down a notch]

    Anyway, I guess you have to live in New Jersey – especially, the central, or northern sections  closer to NYC – to know.

    But, this is funny, even if you don’t.

    How To Survive a Day in New Jersey

    1. First, you must learn how to pronounce Newark….It is New-erk, not New-ark.

    (Actually, it’s pronounced ‘NORK’.)

    2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
    hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday
    morning.

    3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the
    Garden State Parkway it’s 105 or 110. Anything less is considered
    ‘Wussy.’

    4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own
    version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
    muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
    go second. However, in Monmouth County , SUV-driving, cell
    phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

    5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
    cussed out, and possibly shot.

    6. Never honk at anyone. EVER. It’s another offense that can get you shot.

    7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey .
    Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment during the
    middle of the night to make the next day’s driving a bit "more
    exciting".

    8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
    cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires,
    cell-phoners, deer and other road kill and other drivers trying to, you know, hit ’em.

    9. Mapquest does not work here — none of the roads are where they say
    they are or go where they say they do. And all the Turnpike EZ pass
    lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

    10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
    shoulder immediately to let them know it has been ‘accidentally
    activated.’

    11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65mph
    zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be ‘flipped off’
    accordingly. If you return the flip, you’ll be shot.

    12. Do not try to estimate travel time — just leave Monday afternoon
    for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday, and right after
    church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

    There, I feel MUCH better – now that YOU know, I love you – don’t you?

    Have a great weekend!

    If anyone needs me, I’ll be at the high school volunteering in the kitchen for the kids’ soccer banquet.

    [shudder]

    I’m scheduled in to be there at 7:30 a.m. SHARP – yes, I am one of THOSE moms, too – but, it’s close enough to walk and I do NOT have to drive!

    Stay-at-home mom, my rear bumper!

  • The Power of Blogging: A Shout out to all BlogHers, Blog Spotters, Lurkers, Maya’s Mom and anyone else who’s willing to take a stand for charity!

    I’ve got a lemonade stand to pick, with you!

    Sunkist is calling all kids (7 to 12 years of age) to "Take a Stand"
    for their favorite charity and is offering over 10,000 lemonade stand
    kits free (while supplies last) in it’s 3rd year of inspiring children
    to give back to their community.

    Take a Stand Day – to
    squeeze more fun into lemonade stand season, Sunkist is encouraging
    kids to jump-start lemonade sales in conjunction with the first-ever
    “Take a Stand Day” set for Thursday, June 21st and through the first weekend of summer.

    The kids and I have volunteered to "take a stand" and we will donate all the proceeds from our This Full House challenge for Sunkist to our local chapter of Big Brothers and Big Sisters.

    My kids have ALWAYS wanted to run their very own lemonade stand and
    now, with the help of the good folks over at Sunkist, we can give a
    little back to the blogosphere, as well.

    This Full House will donate an additional $1.00 per comment
    left on this post (say hello, wish us luck, or just pucker up and send
    us a kiss) and give away 4 lemonade stands to bloggers who wish to join
    in on the fun. Comments will be open until Monday 3:00 p.m. and the
    winners will be randomly picked by Mini-Me [pictured below] who will be moving to "the other hand" and turning 6, tomorrow!

    Minigraduate

    My littlest rugrat is also an official "grader" after graduating kindergarten, yesterday – Happy Birthday, muffin!

    The recipients of the lemonade stands will be picked on Monday, June
    18th, which just so happens to be the last day of school…can I get a
    YEEHAW!?!

    Please feel free to wish Mini-Me a Happy Birthday, tell a few friends, use your blogging super powers to pass the word and help This Full House of loose change and lost socks start off the summer with a big CHA-CHING!

    Go ahead, make our day – let’s prove to "the man" that there is
    power in the blogging world (no matter how small) and that it is good –
    and help a little brother and sister enjoy their summer.

    What do you have to lose?

    I promise, there’s nothing under the cushions – it’s not like I’m
    getting paid for this, or anytime soon, or anything – ’cause tomorrow
    really is Mini-Me’s birthday…and people are coming over…so, I had no other choice but to, you know, clean house!

  • For Heather: Today, I’ll take my Monday served wet and fuzzy!

    If you’ve visited here, before – and especially if you’ve ever had
    the opportunity of spending the weekend at our house – then, you know
    that I am NOT a big fan of Mondays and perhaps equally, if not less,
    enthusiastic about mornings, as well.

    Considering the fact that a Nor’easter has settled over the east
    coast, is working its way up and it’s been raining cold since Saturday
    night, well, let’s just say that the drip…tink…drip…tink…drip
    of our leaky roof is driving me to the edge of insanity.

    I could use some hot chocolate, but I don’t have a pot to spare!

    With that said, this has to be one of the most beautiful Mondays
    I’ve ever had the pleasure blogging, since reading an email and
    visiting with Jamie and her very Blonde Mom Blog’s "go read it today" post.
    Because, if I hadn’t, I certainly wouldn’t be feeling as warm and
    fuzzy, like now, or lucky to have followed her link over to BooMama.  You see, it’s not the first time I’ve been to her blog – I participated in her web-a-thon, for Kelli – and I believe that BooMama is the kind of blogger that any of us would be more than honored to call, friend, as she rallies the internet to help yet another blogger:

    I never dreamed that Heather,
    my talented, sweet, funny blog designer, would find out that she has a
    brain tumor. And I never dreamed that a second situation where our
    blogging community can so tangibly make a difference would cross our
    paths so soon.

    Okay, get ready to the warm and fuzzy part, here’s what she’s thinking.

    So on Wednesday, April 18,
    we’re going to have an opportunity to love on Heather and her family.
    Heather and her husband Mark will be leaving April 25th for the Mayo
    Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota – the number one neurosurgery hospital
    in the country. The fact that Heather even got an appointment is a
    miracle, and there is absolutely no telling what further miracles God
    will do through the hands of the gifted physicians there.

    So, I’m totally copying Jamie – because, she’s very pretty – and following Plain Jane Mom lead in asking that you please take a moment and go read BooMama and Heather, today and I bet you, crumpled dollars to soggy donuts, that your Monday will seem just a little bit brighter, like mine!

    God’s speed, Heather.