Love means never having to explain your tattoo!

Recently, I had the good fortune (read: how in the hell did that happen) of being invited to an event hosted by the Discovery Channel in New York City, where the kids and I got to check out all the new cool toys and gadgets available at the Discovery Store, for the holidays.

"They must have heard that you’re a Discovery Whore!"

At least that’s what my husband, Garth (not his real name) likes to call me and my good friend Kate, anyways.

So, I schlepped the 4 kids, all the way from Jersey, into Penn Station, then waited 20 minutes for a taxi, spent $20 to get across town and then walked about a bazillion city blocks back to the train station, because I spent the rest of my money on candy at Dylan’s.

So, was it worth it?

In a word, sortof.

"Oh, so YOU’RE the one with all the kids!"

Apparently, asking for and then receiving permission that I be allowed to bring all 4 of my kids – because, it’s summer and, you know, there’s no school – caused quite an uproar.

"I heard that you had 5, or something."

What’s one more, or less, anyway?

"But, I have to tell you, I can’t believe that your kids are SO well behaved!"

Look, I’ve been in (and out) of plenty of stores to know that shopping is probably NOT one of the most favorite of family pastimes – hell, I can barely stand going food shopping anymore – and kids CAN get bored very, very easily.

"Thank you, but this IS a treat and they’ve been warned."

Actually, they’re pretty shy about meeting new people (aren’t we all?) and were already pretty much feeling burned-out from the trip in.

"Did you guys see the chocolate fountain?"

Just so you know, my children ARE a testament to the restorative powers of chocolate and I got the sense that the Discovery folks (Hi, Pamela!) were really very happy to actually have some kids around to, you know, play with their stuff.

"So, what do the Deadliest Catch guys fish for?"

Pamela was showing us the new line of vids and games (the Cash Cab board game looks, AWESOME!) and thought she’d test my 9-year-old son, a little.

"Opilio and Red Crab!"

[eyes go wide]

"Wow, that’s right!"

See, is it any wonder I’m raising a bunch of little Discovery Whores?

"Aaaand, for answering the question correctly, I believe that YOU should have this game!"

O…M…G…can I just tell you…we’d already seen the commercials and The Boy was so excited to learn that they actually have a Deadliest Catch Game!

"Um…we don’t have Xbox."

It’s okay, it’s available for PC as well.

"Besides, my Mom won’t let me."

WHAT?!?!?

"Well, if he doesn’t want it, I’ve got a 13-year-old at home."

WHAT, WHAT?!?!?

"I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to have it."

I don’t know who she was – since, Pamela introduced me as the mom blogger from "This Full House" and the poor woman probably assumed that I, you know, MUST know her blog handle – but, she DID manage to scare me AND my kids into submission.

"No problem, she can have it."

Awkward silence.

"Um…this is the only copy we have, here."

I felt bad for the poor Discovery people.

"Oh, well…then, don’t worry about it."

[pointing toward my son]

"I just thought, since he didn’t want it…"

[biting tongue]

"No, really…TAKE IT!"

Oh, I wasn’t mad or anything – not really – it’s just that I was a bit put off by her insinuating that my kid was being ungrateful, rather than having to explain that he was merely carrying out a contract that I made the kids sign, after signing up for a year’s subscription to an online game:

We will not buy any PS2 games or computer games for a full year in return for Blankety-blank-blank Online!

February 24, 2008

Signed:  Thing One, The Boy, Mini-me, Thing Two

And just found it easier to, you know, submit and then, LATER, explain to my son (and his sisters) what to do the next time someone offers you something, gratis.

"You say…YES!"

Discovery Lady continued her presentation.

"I guess you guys are a little too young to watch LA INK, huh?"

[see picture above]

"Nope, we watch it with Mom!"

Morale of the Story:  If you can’t beat ’em, watch t.v. with ’em and THEN get a tattoo!

Oh and…YES…the look on Discovery Lady’s face…not to mention, imagining whatever the hell Blogger Lady MUST be thinking…was totally worth the trip!

"Freeze-dried ice cream for everyone!"

Because, the really nice Discovery DID give us a whole bunch extra in schwag and commuting to New York can get really, really expensive – I’m just saying – Happy Love Thursday, everyone!

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