I hate having my picture taken. Sometimes, I look pretty good (see photo to the right – taken by Dawn on our trip to Philadelphia and now I am shamelessly using it each and every blessed chance I get) then, there are those times when…well…I'm still waiting for Busy Mom to delete this sucker!
Still.
I have come to terms with the fact that I may very well be the most photogenically-challenged person on the planet. Unfortunately, no amount of Photo Shop can erase the fact that, for the last couple of years, my body has consistently gone south, for the winter, too.
So, I joined a gym and not only because my sister-in-law is also a member — although, sweating alongside one another can be a truly bonding experience — the workout place is right next door to Shoprite (convenient) which has a Dunkin' Donuts, inside (YUM) and there are no long term contracts to sign!
It is exercise nirvana and great for serial quitters, like me!
Until.
He shows up and I'm like all…oh…my…gosh…but, that dude totally looks like the guy from Gone in 60 Seconds, you know, Delroy Lindo. I've got a HUGE crush on Delroy Lindo and…YES…my husband, Garth (not his real name) knows it.
Pretend Delroy gets on the treadmill (closest to me) aaand, all of a sudden, my thighs seem bigger, my feet get heavier and the treadmill seems like it's going….way….too…slow!
"Hiya, doin' Momma?"
[looks left, right and then left again]
"Who, me?"
He bit his lower lip which, in turn, exposed two massively gorgeous dimples and, I swear, I coulda just jumped in and swam around that smile, forever!
"Yeah, I've been eyeing your voluptuousness every single DAY-YAH?"
[blushes]
"Really?"
No, he really didn't say that…in fact, he never uttered a word…and do NOT try and tell me that you don't have make believe conversations on the treadmill…either!!!
[shrugs shoulders]
You'd be surprised at how imaginative a frazzled, wigged-out and frustrated mom (like me) can get at 3.5 miles an hour…or, maybe not.
Until.
She shows up and I'm like all…oh…my…gosh…her and her cell phone are totally messing with my workout mojo. I hate it when people talk on their cell phones. Out loud. In public.
"Seriously, I am so…like…outta here!"
Yes, I really DID say that. Out loud. I was gone. Like, way less than 60 seconds. Because, the witch picked the treadmill…right…next…to…mine and got in between me and my pretend workout crush.
So, I pulled on my big girl pants and ended my time on the treadmill, 10 minutes early, but not before sneaking a picture and playing around with it, a little.
Kthnxbai.
© 2009 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
Comments
25 responses to “Get Away from My Pretend Workout Crush, You Witch!”
I LOVE imaginary workout conversations! 🙂 They make the time go by faster.
Unless you leave. But I digress…
Wasn’t there an elliptical or something that was set up BEHIND his treadmill? You could have moved over there and had a whole different conversation…
I LOVE imaginary workout conversations! 🙂 They make the time go by faster.
Unless you leave. But I digress…
Wasn’t there an elliptical or something that was set up BEHIND his treadmill? You could have moved over there and had a whole different conversation…
I LOVE imaginary workout conversations! 🙂 They make the time go by faster.
Unless you leave. But I digress…
Wasn’t there an elliptical or something that was set up BEHIND his treadmill? You could have moved over there and had a whole different conversation…
I LOVE imaginary workout conversations! 🙂 They make the time go by faster.
Unless you leave. But I digress…
Wasn’t there an elliptical or something that was set up BEHIND his treadmill? You could have moved over there and had a whole different conversation…
I LOVE imaginary workout conversations! 🙂 They make the time go by faster.
Unless you leave. But I digress…
Wasn’t there an elliptical or something that was set up BEHIND his treadmill? You could have moved over there and had a whole different conversation…
Hey Melisa,
Um…yeah, I guess I could have moved to another piece of equipment…but, it was very obvious that he just wasn’t that into me.
[heavy sigh]
The real answer: I just really didn’t think of it…because, I’m a dork like that 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
Hey Melisa,
Um…yeah, I guess I could have moved to another piece of equipment…but, it was very obvious that he just wasn’t that into me.
[heavy sigh]
The real answer: I just really didn’t think of it…because, I’m a dork like that 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
Hey Melisa,
Um…yeah, I guess I could have moved to another piece of equipment…but, it was very obvious that he just wasn’t that into me.
[heavy sigh]
The real answer: I just really didn’t think of it…because, I’m a dork like that 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
Hey Melisa,
Um…yeah, I guess I could have moved to another piece of equipment…but, it was very obvious that he just wasn’t that into me.
[heavy sigh]
The real answer: I just really didn’t think of it…because, I’m a dork like that 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
Hey Melisa,
Um…yeah, I guess I could have moved to another piece of equipment…but, it was very obvious that he just wasn’t that into me.
[heavy sigh]
The real answer: I just really didn’t think of it…because, I’m a dork like that 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
eeewww I hate it too when people get on their cell phones and talk at the gym…big pet peeve of mine. ALSO a bigger pet peeve is when there are obviously 14 other treadmills and you pick the one RIGHT next to mine. WTF?!
eeewww I hate it too when people get on their cell phones and talk at the gym…big pet peeve of mine. ALSO a bigger pet peeve is when there are obviously 14 other treadmills and you pick the one RIGHT next to mine. WTF?!
eeewww I hate it too when people get on their cell phones and talk at the gym…big pet peeve of mine. ALSO a bigger pet peeve is when there are obviously 14 other treadmills and you pick the one RIGHT next to mine. WTF?!
eeewww I hate it too when people get on their cell phones and talk at the gym…big pet peeve of mine. ALSO a bigger pet peeve is when there are obviously 14 other treadmills and you pick the one RIGHT next to mine. WTF?!
eeewww I hate it too when people get on their cell phones and talk at the gym…big pet peeve of mine. ALSO a bigger pet peeve is when there are obviously 14 other treadmills and you pick the one RIGHT next to mine. WTF?!
Ummm, my treadmill is at HOME and I still have imaginary conversations.
Now, *that* is sad.
Ummm, my treadmill is at HOME and I still have imaginary conversations.
Now, *that* is sad.
Ummm, my treadmill is at HOME and I still have imaginary conversations.
Now, *that* is sad.
Ummm, my treadmill is at HOME and I still have imaginary conversations.
Now, *that* is sad.
Ummm, my treadmill is at HOME and I still have imaginary conversations.
Now, *that* is sad.
Hi Diana,
Nope, not sad at all, in fact I have imaginary conversations while mowing the lawn and…um…maybe I shouldn’t have said that…out loud 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Diana,
Nope, not sad at all, in fact I have imaginary conversations while mowing the lawn and…um…maybe I shouldn’t have said that…out loud 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Diana,
Nope, not sad at all, in fact I have imaginary conversations while mowing the lawn and…um…maybe I shouldn’t have said that…out loud 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Diana,
Nope, not sad at all, in fact I have imaginary conversations while mowing the lawn and…um…maybe I shouldn’t have said that…out loud 🙂
Hugs,
Liz
Hi Diana,
Nope, not sad at all, in fact I have imaginary conversations while mowing the lawn and…um…maybe I shouldn’t have said that…out loud 🙂
Hugs,
Liz