This is my chair. At the end of the day, when the light begins to fade and the last dish is washed (yes, stupid Bosch is STILL broken, DAMMIT) I remain patient, waiting for that final moment of release, as I breath deep, exhale and slip deep into my chair.
"What the?"
I can hear Cesar Millan, whispering, right now.
"Wait a minute! You paid for your house! You go to work to pay for that couch and that bed, and yet you can’t use it because it “belongs” to the dog? Something’s very wrong there. If this describes you, then it’s time to take back your own home."
Fine. So, now what?
"You must feel in your bones that you are the pack leader in the house, and project that calm-assertive energy."
Yeah, but, see, in my house, calm and assertive just don't mix.
"If you assert true leadership, your dog will not be sad, or hate you, or resent you, even if you take back the place on the sofa."
Yeah, but, see, sad eyes just kill me.
"Having a leader is hardwired into your dog’s brain – that’s what he both needs and wants."
Yeah, but.
"Take advantage of that and go ahead, sit on your couch again!"
Okay, seeing as your the expert and all.
"But you have to really mean it."
FINE!
"GET OFF THE COUCH!!!"
Aaaand, I NEVER saw 4 kids, move so fast, in my life.
Morale of the Story: Jerry Seinfeld is right — dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?
SHUTUP, Cesar!
© 2009 This Full House - All Rights Reserved.
Comments
42 responses to “PHEW! Smells Like Human!”
hee hee
I loved this! Your dog’s no dummy. 🙂
hee hee
I loved this! Your dog’s no dummy. 🙂
hee hee
I loved this! Your dog’s no dummy. 🙂
hee hee
I loved this! Your dog’s no dummy. 🙂
hee hee
I loved this! Your dog’s no dummy. 🙂
hee hee
I loved this! Your dog’s no dummy. 🙂
But you got to sit down….right???
But you got to sit down….right???
But you got to sit down….right???
But you got to sit down….right???
But you got to sit down….right???
But you got to sit down….right???
Hehe … whenever I pick up dog poop, the shame of my submission is overwhelming! Somethings gotta give.
I love your blog.
xo
Hehe … whenever I pick up dog poop, the shame of my submission is overwhelming! Somethings gotta give.
I love your blog.
xo
Hehe … whenever I pick up dog poop, the shame of my submission is overwhelming! Somethings gotta give.
I love your blog.
xo
Hehe … whenever I pick up dog poop, the shame of my submission is overwhelming! Somethings gotta give.
I love your blog.
xo
Hehe … whenever I pick up dog poop, the shame of my submission is overwhelming! Somethings gotta give.
I love your blog.
xo
Hehe … whenever I pick up dog poop, the shame of my submission is overwhelming! Somethings gotta give.
I love your blog.
xo
Hey, at least you got the kids trained, right?
Hey, at least you got the kids trained, right?
Hey, at least you got the kids trained, right?
Hey, at least you got the kids trained, right?
Hey, at least you got the kids trained, right?
Hey, at least you got the kids trained, right?
LOL! Well our 12-year-old Corgi/German Shepherd loves the couch (Daddy’s leather recliner is not comfy plus her NAILS). But sadly she is too creaky to jump on the couch any more. I was glad but also a tad sad about it because the old girl is well, getting old. 🙁
LOL! Well our 12-year-old Corgi/German Shepherd loves the couch (Daddy’s leather recliner is not comfy plus her NAILS). But sadly she is too creaky to jump on the couch any more. I was glad but also a tad sad about it because the old girl is well, getting old. 🙁
LOL! Well our 12-year-old Corgi/German Shepherd loves the couch (Daddy’s leather recliner is not comfy plus her NAILS). But sadly she is too creaky to jump on the couch any more. I was glad but also a tad sad about it because the old girl is well, getting old. 🙁
LOL! Well our 12-year-old Corgi/German Shepherd loves the couch (Daddy’s leather recliner is not comfy plus her NAILS). But sadly she is too creaky to jump on the couch any more. I was glad but also a tad sad about it because the old girl is well, getting old. 🙁
LOL! Well our 12-year-old Corgi/German Shepherd loves the couch (Daddy’s leather recliner is not comfy plus her NAILS). But sadly she is too creaky to jump on the couch any more. I was glad but also a tad sad about it because the old girl is well, getting old. 🙁
LOL! Well our 12-year-old Corgi/German Shepherd loves the couch (Daddy’s leather recliner is not comfy plus her NAILS). But sadly she is too creaky to jump on the couch any more. I was glad but also a tad sad about it because the old girl is well, getting old. 🙁
Hhahaha, love it! My dear MIL was just quoting the Dog Whisperer to me today… about our dog sitting on the couch! Thanks for posting, glad I’m not alone 🙂 Diane
Hhahaha, love it! My dear MIL was just quoting the Dog Whisperer to me today… about our dog sitting on the couch! Thanks for posting, glad I’m not alone 🙂 Diane
Hhahaha, love it! My dear MIL was just quoting the Dog Whisperer to me today… about our dog sitting on the couch! Thanks for posting, glad I’m not alone 🙂 Diane
Hhahaha, love it! My dear MIL was just quoting the Dog Whisperer to me today… about our dog sitting on the couch! Thanks for posting, glad I’m not alone 🙂 Diane
Hhahaha, love it! My dear MIL was just quoting the Dog Whisperer to me today… about our dog sitting on the couch! Thanks for posting, glad I’m not alone 🙂 Diane
Hhahaha, love it! My dear MIL was just quoting the Dog Whisperer to me today… about our dog sitting on the couch! Thanks for posting, glad I’m not alone 🙂 Diane
Isn’t it funny how dogs can rule the house? Imagine not having any kids– Then your dog would be just like OUR DOGS! our babies 😉 ha ha ha ha.
Isn’t it funny how dogs can rule the house? Imagine not having any kids– Then your dog would be just like OUR DOGS! our babies 😉 ha ha ha ha.
Isn’t it funny how dogs can rule the house? Imagine not having any kids– Then your dog would be just like OUR DOGS! our babies 😉 ha ha ha ha.
Isn’t it funny how dogs can rule the house? Imagine not having any kids– Then your dog would be just like OUR DOGS! our babies 😉 ha ha ha ha.
Isn’t it funny how dogs can rule the house? Imagine not having any kids– Then your dog would be just like OUR DOGS! our babies 😉 ha ha ha ha.
Isn’t it funny how dogs can rule the house? Imagine not having any kids– Then your dog would be just like OUR DOGS! our babies 😉 ha ha ha ha.