Most days, I wake up and, if my feet hit the floor and my head is still attached, then, it really doesn't take much to convince myself that, YES, half the battle is actually getting out of bed and HOORAH! but, it's gonna be a good day…DAMMIT!
Until, it's time to leave the house.
"Why IS it so hard to make a left turn!?!?"
Then, I remembered.
"Oh yeah, 'cawse I live in Jersey!"
Is it just me, along with perhaps the rest of the Eastern seaboard, STILL digging out of one of the snowiest winter's in, well, recorded history (yeah, I'm looking at you, Washington, D.C.) or, has Snowmageddon (or, as I've come to call it, Snowpocalypse) frozen everyone's nice buttons, shut?
Forget nice. How about good old-fashioned safety rules? Like, oh, I dunno, SHOVELING YOUR GOSH-DARNED SIDEWALKS SO MY KIDS CAN AT LEAST WALK TO SCHOOL?
"Well, they're not MY sidewalks AND I'm not breaking any laws."
True. In this part of Jersey, there is no ordinance that specifically says, you know, get off your lazy ass(es) and clean your friggin' sidewalk(s). Whatever. Point being (and I really do have one, somewhere, I think) try explaining that to an 8 year-old.
"But, someone can slip, or fall and hurt themselves."
All rose-colored goodness aside (trust me, I understand that time can make a person, sort of, bitter) they are called side"walks" for a reason and raising 4 kids, attending 4 different schools (yes, in the SAME town) the most popular complaint I hear is, you know, kids today…a reflection of their parents, they are!
BEEP!
"Why is that lady honking her horn at you?"
[grins BIG into side mirror]
"Maybe because Mommy's letting ALL those cars turn!"
Damn skippy!
"That's right…go to the traffic light…ALL are welcome…there is goodness in the light!"
Forget nice.
"You're SO weird mom!"
Nah. There is no weird. It is only a transition to a different sphere of consciousness. Sort of like the feeling you get when committing a random act of kindess, that sticks it to the car, riding your bumper for the last couple of lights, behind you.
"Take that, you impatient frig!"
Here in Jersey, anyways.
"Boy, driving is really hard, right mommy?"
Don't even get me started on jug handles.
[blank stare]
Never mind.
© 2010 This Full House – All Rights Reserved.
Comments
18 responses to “Viewing the World Through Frozen Side Mirrors”
That’s okay– Driving SUCKs in Indiana too. UGH.
That’s okay– Driving SUCKs in Indiana too. UGH.
That’s okay– Driving SUCKs in Indiana too. UGH.
That’s okay– Driving SUCKs in Indiana too. UGH.
That’s okay– Driving SUCKs in Indiana too. UGH.
That’s okay– Driving SUCKs in Indiana too. UGH.
Aaaaand in Illinois too!
Aaaaand in Illinois too!
Aaaaand in Illinois too!
Aaaaand in Illinois too!
Aaaaand in Illinois too!
Aaaaand in Illinois too!
Thanks for the reassurance….what IS IT with people (and their cars, or their sidewalks) anymore?
Liz
Thanks for the reassurance….what IS IT with people (and their cars, or their sidewalks) anymore?
Liz
Thanks for the reassurance….what IS IT with people (and their cars, or their sidewalks) anymore?
Liz
Thanks for the reassurance….what IS IT with people (and their cars, or their sidewalks) anymore?
Liz
Thanks for the reassurance….what IS IT with people (and their cars, or their sidewalks) anymore?
Liz
Thanks for the reassurance….what IS IT with people (and their cars, or their sidewalks) anymore?
Liz