In Which I Discuss My Girly Bits in Manly Terms

Giving Men A Dose of Menopause [Source]

I went out to lunch with a mom friend, who also happens to be a pharmacist (don't have one, get one!) and it didn't take long for the conversation to turn all, you know, clinical.

"How about those hormonal replacement therapies, eh?"

I mean, it sort of goes with the territory.  Besides, I'm a mom, she's a mom and you know you're a mom when you can comfortably discuss your entire reproductive system over a cobb salad, right?

"So, you're going forward with the edometrial ablation?"

What?  Oh.  Sorry.  But, it felt SO GREAT to be able to FINALLY talk about this sort of…uh…stuff with someone who understands, or can empathize and not just in clinical terms, either. 

Sort of like blogging. 

There's something really very therapeutic about being able to, literally, write your way into a healthier state of mind, right?

Riiiiiiiight.

Which is probably the reason why my blog was voted #8 most confessional last year (anti-alpha mom, indeed!) 

Still.  At the risk of sliding into the #1 spot in 2010 (congratulations, Mir!) I'd like to continue discussing the trouble with my girly bits in the most manly way I know how.

In mechanical terms.

[cracks knuckles]

Ready?

Last 5 Years:

I've been experiencing brief instances of heavy load and sudden acceleration and, for fear of causing any further internal engine damage, I thought it was indeed way passed time for a professional assessment.

2 Weeks Ago:

A brief, superficial inspection under the hood confirmed a breach in the combustion chamber and carbon build up on the outside of the engine wall.

It was determined that additional performance-related diagnostic information was required.

Last Week:

Diagnostics further determined that the engine crankcase was crammed and required pressure relief; the sooner, the better.

Today:

However, to be sure that the flame arrester is operable (in case of backfire, we wouldn't want the flame in the intake to spread to the crankcase) they're going to scrape carbon off the pistons for further analysis.

Prognosis:

Diagnostics should be available in a couple of weeks, when further assessment will be made as to whether the flame has NOT spread to the crankcase, in which firing the exhaust tip (as scheduled for later next month) should alleviate the problem, or else a complete removal of the crank shaft and/or power wash of the engine is highly recommended.

But, that's between me and my mom mechanic.

[hands over dessert menu]

You're welcome!!!

© 2010 This Full House Blog / TFH Gone Shopping

Comments

77 responses to “In Which I Discuss My Girly Bits in Manly Terms”

  1. Melisa Avatar

    I was thinking about you today!
    ONLY YOU could do a post like this.
    I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!!

  2. Melisa Avatar

    I was thinking about you today!
    ONLY YOU could do a post like this.
    I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!!

  3. Melisa Avatar

    I was thinking about you today!
    ONLY YOU could do a post like this.
    I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!!

  4. Melisa Avatar

    I was thinking about you today!
    ONLY YOU could do a post like this.
    I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!!

  5. Melisa Avatar

    I was thinking about you today!
    ONLY YOU could do a post like this.
    I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!!

  6. Melisa Avatar

    I was thinking about you today!
    ONLY YOU could do a post like this.
    I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!!

  7. Melisa Avatar

    I was thinking about you today!
    ONLY YOU could do a post like this.
    I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!!

  8. Carmen Staicer Avatar

    I had the ablation in March. It didn’t make one BIT of difference. I hope that you have better results!

  9. Carmen Staicer Avatar

    I had the ablation in March. It didn’t make one BIT of difference. I hope that you have better results!

  10. Carmen Staicer Avatar

    I had the ablation in March. It didn’t make one BIT of difference. I hope that you have better results!

  11. Carmen Staicer Avatar

    I had the ablation in March. It didn’t make one BIT of difference. I hope that you have better results!

  12. Carmen Staicer Avatar

    I had the ablation in March. It didn’t make one BIT of difference. I hope that you have better results!

  13. Carmen Staicer Avatar

    I had the ablation in March. It didn’t make one BIT of difference. I hope that you have better results!

  14. Carmen Staicer Avatar

    I had the ablation in March. It didn’t make one BIT of difference. I hope that you have better results!

  15. Jenn Avatar

    You and this post are brilliant. Only you could’ve written this and made it understandable to both men & women without either screaming & running for the hills! I do so heart you, my friend!

  16. Jenn Avatar

    You and this post are brilliant. Only you could’ve written this and made it understandable to both men & women without either screaming & running for the hills! I do so heart you, my friend!

  17. Jenn Avatar

    You and this post are brilliant. Only you could’ve written this and made it understandable to both men & women without either screaming & running for the hills! I do so heart you, my friend!

  18. Jenn Avatar

    You and this post are brilliant. Only you could’ve written this and made it understandable to both men & women without either screaming & running for the hills! I do so heart you, my friend!

  19. Jenn Avatar

    You and this post are brilliant. Only you could’ve written this and made it understandable to both men & women without either screaming & running for the hills! I do so heart you, my friend!

  20. Jenn Avatar

    You and this post are brilliant. Only you could’ve written this and made it understandable to both men & women without either screaming & running for the hills! I do so heart you, my friend!

  21. Jenn Avatar

    You and this post are brilliant. Only you could’ve written this and made it understandable to both men & women without either screaming & running for the hills! I do so heart you, my friend!

  22. As Cape Cod Turns Avatar

    I am thinking that full removal of the crank shaft is a fine option. I had mine removed about 5 years ago and it was the greatest thing I have ever done!! (Well maybe not the greatest, but having a tightening of the spokes so they didn’t leak liquid yellow when I laughed, was priceless!) Keep us posted 🙂

  23. As Cape Cod Turns Avatar

    I am thinking that full removal of the crank shaft is a fine option. I had mine removed about 5 years ago and it was the greatest thing I have ever done!! (Well maybe not the greatest, but having a tightening of the spokes so they didn’t leak liquid yellow when I laughed, was priceless!) Keep us posted 🙂

  24. As Cape Cod Turns Avatar

    I am thinking that full removal of the crank shaft is a fine option. I had mine removed about 5 years ago and it was the greatest thing I have ever done!! (Well maybe not the greatest, but having a tightening of the spokes so they didn’t leak liquid yellow when I laughed, was priceless!) Keep us posted 🙂

  25. As Cape Cod Turns Avatar

    I am thinking that full removal of the crank shaft is a fine option. I had mine removed about 5 years ago and it was the greatest thing I have ever done!! (Well maybe not the greatest, but having a tightening of the spokes so they didn’t leak liquid yellow when I laughed, was priceless!) Keep us posted 🙂

  26. As Cape Cod Turns Avatar

    I am thinking that full removal of the crank shaft is a fine option. I had mine removed about 5 years ago and it was the greatest thing I have ever done!! (Well maybe not the greatest, but having a tightening of the spokes so they didn’t leak liquid yellow when I laughed, was priceless!) Keep us posted 🙂

  27. As Cape Cod Turns Avatar

    I am thinking that full removal of the crank shaft is a fine option. I had mine removed about 5 years ago and it was the greatest thing I have ever done!! (Well maybe not the greatest, but having a tightening of the spokes so they didn’t leak liquid yellow when I laughed, was priceless!) Keep us posted 🙂

  28. As Cape Cod Turns Avatar

    I am thinking that full removal of the crank shaft is a fine option. I had mine removed about 5 years ago and it was the greatest thing I have ever done!! (Well maybe not the greatest, but having a tightening of the spokes so they didn’t leak liquid yellow when I laughed, was priceless!) Keep us posted 🙂

  29. Headless Mom Avatar

    Crap. You miss a week and you miss a lot.
    ((hugs)) Hope all goes well for you!
    BTW, I’m totally impressed with your car knowledge. Ahem.

  30. Headless Mom Avatar

    Crap. You miss a week and you miss a lot.
    ((hugs)) Hope all goes well for you!
    BTW, I’m totally impressed with your car knowledge. Ahem.

  31. Headless Mom Avatar

    Crap. You miss a week and you miss a lot.
    ((hugs)) Hope all goes well for you!
    BTW, I’m totally impressed with your car knowledge. Ahem.

  32. Headless Mom Avatar

    Crap. You miss a week and you miss a lot.
    ((hugs)) Hope all goes well for you!
    BTW, I’m totally impressed with your car knowledge. Ahem.

  33. Headless Mom Avatar

    Crap. You miss a week and you miss a lot.
    ((hugs)) Hope all goes well for you!
    BTW, I’m totally impressed with your car knowledge. Ahem.

  34. Headless Mom Avatar

    Crap. You miss a week and you miss a lot.
    ((hugs)) Hope all goes well for you!
    BTW, I’m totally impressed with your car knowledge. Ahem.

  35. Headless Mom Avatar

    Crap. You miss a week and you miss a lot.
    ((hugs)) Hope all goes well for you!
    BTW, I’m totally impressed with your car knowledge. Ahem.

  36. PJ Mullen Avatar

    Sudden acceleration? Did you get a letter from Toyota? 🙂
    I hope all goes well. And having a pharmacist handy rocks. That’s why I married one 🙂

  37. PJ Mullen Avatar

    Sudden acceleration? Did you get a letter from Toyota? 🙂
    I hope all goes well. And having a pharmacist handy rocks. That’s why I married one 🙂

  38. PJ Mullen Avatar

    Sudden acceleration? Did you get a letter from Toyota? 🙂
    I hope all goes well. And having a pharmacist handy rocks. That’s why I married one 🙂

  39. PJ Mullen Avatar

    Sudden acceleration? Did you get a letter from Toyota? 🙂
    I hope all goes well. And having a pharmacist handy rocks. That’s why I married one 🙂

  40. PJ Mullen Avatar

    Sudden acceleration? Did you get a letter from Toyota? 🙂
    I hope all goes well. And having a pharmacist handy rocks. That’s why I married one 🙂

  41. PJ Mullen Avatar

    Sudden acceleration? Did you get a letter from Toyota? 🙂
    I hope all goes well. And having a pharmacist handy rocks. That’s why I married one 🙂

  42. PJ Mullen Avatar

    Sudden acceleration? Did you get a letter from Toyota? 🙂
    I hope all goes well. And having a pharmacist handy rocks. That’s why I married one 🙂

  43. Heather Avatar

    Oh goodness! I am having some problems under that hood right now too. SUCKS doesn’t it?
    I am thinking healing thoguhts for you 😀

  44. Heather Avatar

    Oh goodness! I am having some problems under that hood right now too. SUCKS doesn’t it?
    I am thinking healing thoguhts for you 😀

  45. Heather Avatar

    Oh goodness! I am having some problems under that hood right now too. SUCKS doesn’t it?
    I am thinking healing thoguhts for you 😀

  46. Heather Avatar

    Oh goodness! I am having some problems under that hood right now too. SUCKS doesn’t it?
    I am thinking healing thoguhts for you 😀

  47. Heather Avatar

    Oh goodness! I am having some problems under that hood right now too. SUCKS doesn’t it?
    I am thinking healing thoguhts for you 😀

  48. Heather Avatar

    Oh goodness! I am having some problems under that hood right now too. SUCKS doesn’t it?
    I am thinking healing thoguhts for you 😀

  49. Heather Avatar

    Oh goodness! I am having some problems under that hood right now too. SUCKS doesn’t it?
    I am thinking healing thoguhts for you 😀

  50. JDaniel4's Mom Avatar
    JDaniel4’s Mom

    I don’t look forward to starting this. It doesn’t sound like fun.

  51. JDaniel4's Mom Avatar
    JDaniel4’s Mom

    I don’t look forward to starting this. It doesn’t sound like fun.

  52. JDaniel4's Mom Avatar
    JDaniel4’s Mom

    I don’t look forward to starting this. It doesn’t sound like fun.

  53. JDaniel4's Mom Avatar
    JDaniel4’s Mom

    I don’t look forward to starting this. It doesn’t sound like fun.

  54. JDaniel4's Mom Avatar
    JDaniel4’s Mom

    I don’t look forward to starting this. It doesn’t sound like fun.

  55. JDaniel4's Mom Avatar
    JDaniel4’s Mom

    I don’t look forward to starting this. It doesn’t sound like fun.

  56. JDaniel4's Mom Avatar
    JDaniel4’s Mom

    I don’t look forward to starting this. It doesn’t sound like fun.

  57. kim/hormonecoloreddays Avatar

    I’m kinda confused at this point, but good luck with everything!

  58. kim/hormonecoloreddays Avatar

    I’m kinda confused at this point, but good luck with everything!

  59. kim/hormonecoloreddays Avatar

    I’m kinda confused at this point, but good luck with everything!

  60. kim/hormonecoloreddays Avatar

    I’m kinda confused at this point, but good luck with everything!

  61. kim/hormonecoloreddays Avatar

    I’m kinda confused at this point, but good luck with everything!

  62. kim/hormonecoloreddays Avatar

    I’m kinda confused at this point, but good luck with everything!

  63. kim/hormonecoloreddays Avatar

    I’m kinda confused at this point, but good luck with everything!

  64. Elizabeth @ Table for Five Avatar

    WOW. I have no idea what any of those car terms mean, and yet I understood exactly what you were saying! No wonder you’re a Babble Top Mom Blogger! 🙂

  65. Elizabeth @ Table for Five Avatar

    WOW. I have no idea what any of those car terms mean, and yet I understood exactly what you were saying! No wonder you’re a Babble Top Mom Blogger! 🙂

  66. Elizabeth @ Table for Five Avatar

    WOW. I have no idea what any of those car terms mean, and yet I understood exactly what you were saying! No wonder you’re a Babble Top Mom Blogger! 🙂

  67. Elizabeth @ Table for Five Avatar

    WOW. I have no idea what any of those car terms mean, and yet I understood exactly what you were saying! No wonder you’re a Babble Top Mom Blogger! 🙂

  68. Elizabeth @ Table for Five Avatar

    WOW. I have no idea what any of those car terms mean, and yet I understood exactly what you were saying! No wonder you’re a Babble Top Mom Blogger! 🙂

  69. Elizabeth @ Table for Five Avatar

    WOW. I have no idea what any of those car terms mean, and yet I understood exactly what you were saying! No wonder you’re a Babble Top Mom Blogger! 🙂

  70. Elizabeth @ Table for Five Avatar

    WOW. I have no idea what any of those car terms mean, and yet I understood exactly what you were saying! No wonder you’re a Babble Top Mom Blogger! 🙂