It’s Nothing Personal, It’s Strictly B.O.

Glen Wrestling

Imma gonna beat your Axe!

This is my son's second year wrestling for the middle school and even his sisters have pretty much grown accustomed to all the hollering and cris-crossing of bendy parts, hoping their baby brother does NOT break a limb, or something.

Not on their watch, anyway.

"THROW HIM DOWN!!!!"

I, however, have become much better at watching some other kid beat the living Axe out of my almost 13-year-old son.

Because, he hasn't wrestled anyone yet.

His team had a lot of kids move onto the high school and — taking into consideration that he's nearly as tall as I am — it seems there just aren't as many kids wrestling in my son's weight class, this year.

On the one hand, GREAT!  There will be NO bloody noses or broken body parts, tonight!

"Maybe next week, bud."

Still, it must be just as frustrating for him to sit and stare at some other guy's backside — wearing a singlet, no less.

[cue mental etch-a-sketch]

Until, last night.

"THOMPSON!"

Here we go.   I laced my fingers in front of my eyes.  No, wait, that was so last year

"C'MON!"

The kid was a lot shorter.  However, in width, he was twice the size of my son.

"GET UP OFF THE MAT, GLEN!"

Try as he might, the boy spent the next 3 minutes breathing through one nostril and his face was purple by the time the match was blessedly called to an end.

"He was a real tough one…eh?"

[frowning]

"No! He stunk!"

I was trying to come up with something else that would help reassure my son that, you know, maybe…

"Literally, I took one whiff of him and I was DONE!"

…next time, he should spray himself with a little Axe before each match or, better yet, wipe a little Vicks under his nose like some medical examinders do, or something.

Then again, perhaps his opponent was just using body odor as diversionary tactic, no?

Don't even get me started on cauliflower ear, ring worm and the bazillion other skin infections floating around out there…ICK!

© 2003 – 2012 This Full House

Comments

64 responses to “It’s Nothing Personal, It’s Strictly B.O.”

  1. Tara R. Avatar

    Well, that stinks! Sorry… couldn’t help myself. If wrestlers are as bad as soccer players, he has my sympathies.

  2. Tara R. Avatar

    Well, that stinks! Sorry… couldn’t help myself. If wrestlers are as bad as soccer players, he has my sympathies.

  3. Tara R. Avatar

    Well, that stinks! Sorry… couldn’t help myself. If wrestlers are as bad as soccer players, he has my sympathies.

  4. Tara R. Avatar

    Well, that stinks! Sorry… couldn’t help myself. If wrestlers are as bad as soccer players, he has my sympathies.

  5. Tara R. Avatar

    Well, that stinks! Sorry… couldn’t help myself. If wrestlers are as bad as soccer players, he has my sympathies.

  6. Tara R. Avatar

    Well, that stinks! Sorry… couldn’t help myself. If wrestlers are as bad as soccer players, he has my sympathies.

  7. Tara R. Avatar

    Well, that stinks! Sorry… couldn’t help myself. If wrestlers are as bad as soccer players, he has my sympathies.

  8. Tara R. Avatar

    Well, that stinks! Sorry… couldn’t help myself. If wrestlers are as bad as soccer players, he has my sympathies.

  9. Melisa Avatar

    Hmm, so THAT’S the wrestlers’ secret. Interesting.
    I wonder if that’s the technique Hulk Hogan used.

  10. Melisa Avatar

    Hmm, so THAT’S the wrestlers’ secret. Interesting.
    I wonder if that’s the technique Hulk Hogan used.

  11. Melisa Avatar

    Hmm, so THAT’S the wrestlers’ secret. Interesting.
    I wonder if that’s the technique Hulk Hogan used.

  12. Melisa Avatar

    Hmm, so THAT’S the wrestlers’ secret. Interesting.
    I wonder if that’s the technique Hulk Hogan used.

  13. Melisa Avatar

    Hmm, so THAT’S the wrestlers’ secret. Interesting.
    I wonder if that’s the technique Hulk Hogan used.

  14. Melisa Avatar

    Hmm, so THAT’S the wrestlers’ secret. Interesting.
    I wonder if that’s the technique Hulk Hogan used.

  15. Melisa Avatar

    Hmm, so THAT’S the wrestlers’ secret. Interesting.
    I wonder if that’s the technique Hulk Hogan used.

  16. Melisa Avatar

    Hmm, so THAT’S the wrestlers’ secret. Interesting.
    I wonder if that’s the technique Hulk Hogan used.

  17. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    According to my girls, doesn't matter, soccer players are cute.  Silly girls!

  18. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    According to my girls, doesn't matter, soccer players are cute.  Silly girls!

  19. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    According to my girls, doesn't matter, soccer players are cute.  Silly girls!

  20. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    According to my girls, doesn't matter, soccer players are cute.  Silly girls!

  21. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    According to my girls, doesn't matter, soccer players are cute.  Silly girls!

  22. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    According to my girls, doesn't matter, soccer players are cute.  Silly girls!

  23. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    According to my girls, doesn't matter, soccer players are cute.  Silly girls!

  24. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    According to my girls, doesn't matter, soccer players are cute.  Silly girls!

  25. Heather Avatar

    As if boys don’t smell bad enough as it is, you add a sport on top of it and WHEW! GROSS!
    Good for him for hanging tough on a team that he doesn’t get to play much for though- that shows the kid has some major spunk like his mama!
    ps: I updated my blog & changed my address.
    http://changingchrysalis.blogspot.com/
    Update your reader 🙂

  26. Heather Avatar

    As if boys don’t smell bad enough as it is, you add a sport on top of it and WHEW! GROSS!
    Good for him for hanging tough on a team that he doesn’t get to play much for though- that shows the kid has some major spunk like his mama!
    ps: I updated my blog & changed my address.
    http://changingchrysalis.blogspot.com/
    Update your reader 🙂

  27. Heather Avatar

    As if boys don’t smell bad enough as it is, you add a sport on top of it and WHEW! GROSS!
    Good for him for hanging tough on a team that he doesn’t get to play much for though- that shows the kid has some major spunk like his mama!
    ps: I updated my blog & changed my address.
    http://changingchrysalis.blogspot.com/
    Update your reader 🙂

  28. Heather Avatar

    As if boys don’t smell bad enough as it is, you add a sport on top of it and WHEW! GROSS!
    Good for him for hanging tough on a team that he doesn’t get to play much for though- that shows the kid has some major spunk like his mama!
    ps: I updated my blog & changed my address.
    http://changingchrysalis.blogspot.com/
    Update your reader 🙂

  29. Heather Avatar

    As if boys don’t smell bad enough as it is, you add a sport on top of it and WHEW! GROSS!
    Good for him for hanging tough on a team that he doesn’t get to play much for though- that shows the kid has some major spunk like his mama!
    ps: I updated my blog & changed my address.
    http://changingchrysalis.blogspot.com/
    Update your reader 🙂

  30. Heather Avatar

    As if boys don’t smell bad enough as it is, you add a sport on top of it and WHEW! GROSS!
    Good for him for hanging tough on a team that he doesn’t get to play much for though- that shows the kid has some major spunk like his mama!
    ps: I updated my blog & changed my address.
    http://changingchrysalis.blogspot.com/
    Update your reader 🙂

  31. Heather Avatar

    As if boys don’t smell bad enough as it is, you add a sport on top of it and WHEW! GROSS!
    Good for him for hanging tough on a team that he doesn’t get to play much for though- that shows the kid has some major spunk like his mama!
    ps: I updated my blog & changed my address.
    http://changingchrysalis.blogspot.com/
    Update your reader 🙂

  32. Heather Avatar

    As if boys don’t smell bad enough as it is, you add a sport on top of it and WHEW! GROSS!
    Good for him for hanging tough on a team that he doesn’t get to play much for though- that shows the kid has some major spunk like his mama!
    ps: I updated my blog & changed my address.
    http://changingchrysalis.blogspot.com/
    Update your reader 🙂

  33. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    LOVE your new look, Heather!

  34. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    LOVE your new look, Heather!

  35. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    LOVE your new look, Heather!

  36. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    LOVE your new look, Heather!

  37. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    LOVE your new look, Heather!

  38. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    LOVE your new look, Heather!

  39. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    LOVE your new look, Heather!

  40. Liz@thisfullhouse Avatar

    LOVE your new look, Heather!

  41. Therese Avatar
    Therese

    I can so relate to this. My son wrestled for 5 years, and I spent more time in stinky gyms! It’s a tough sport, and I hated every minute of watching it. To me, wrestling looks just like what I wouldn’t allow my three boys to do in my living room all day, all the time.

  42. Therese Avatar
    Therese

    I can so relate to this. My son wrestled for 5 years, and I spent more time in stinky gyms! It’s a tough sport, and I hated every minute of watching it. To me, wrestling looks just like what I wouldn’t allow my three boys to do in my living room all day, all the time.

  43. Therese Avatar
    Therese

    I can so relate to this. My son wrestled for 5 years, and I spent more time in stinky gyms! It’s a tough sport, and I hated every minute of watching it. To me, wrestling looks just like what I wouldn’t allow my three boys to do in my living room all day, all the time.

  44. Therese Avatar
    Therese

    I can so relate to this. My son wrestled for 5 years, and I spent more time in stinky gyms! It’s a tough sport, and I hated every minute of watching it. To me, wrestling looks just like what I wouldn’t allow my three boys to do in my living room all day, all the time.

  45. Therese Avatar
    Therese

    I can so relate to this. My son wrestled for 5 years, and I spent more time in stinky gyms! It’s a tough sport, and I hated every minute of watching it. To me, wrestling looks just like what I wouldn’t allow my three boys to do in my living room all day, all the time.

  46. Therese Avatar
    Therese

    I can so relate to this. My son wrestled for 5 years, and I spent more time in stinky gyms! It’s a tough sport, and I hated every minute of watching it. To me, wrestling looks just like what I wouldn’t allow my three boys to do in my living room all day, all the time.

  47. Therese Avatar
    Therese

    I can so relate to this. My son wrestled for 5 years, and I spent more time in stinky gyms! It’s a tough sport, and I hated every minute of watching it. To me, wrestling looks just like what I wouldn’t allow my three boys to do in my living room all day, all the time.

  48. Therese Avatar
    Therese

    I can so relate to this. My son wrestled for 5 years, and I spent more time in stinky gyms! It’s a tough sport, and I hated every minute of watching it. To me, wrestling looks just like what I wouldn’t allow my three boys to do in my living room all day, all the time.

  49. Liz@ThisFullHouse Avatar

    My son isn't a starter in his weight range this year so it is a little easier to watch, Therese.  However, now I feel bad he's sitting most of the matches out.  Sheesh, it's never easy is it?
    Hugs,
    Liz

  50. Liz@ThisFullHouse Avatar

    My son isn't a starter in his weight range this year so it is a little easier to watch, Therese.  However, now I feel bad he's sitting most of the matches out.  Sheesh, it's never easy is it?
    Hugs,
    Liz

  51. Liz@ThisFullHouse Avatar

    My son isn't a starter in his weight range this year so it is a little easier to watch, Therese.  However, now I feel bad he's sitting most of the matches out.  Sheesh, it's never easy is it?
    Hugs,
    Liz

  52. Liz@ThisFullHouse Avatar

    My son isn't a starter in his weight range this year so it is a little easier to watch, Therese.  However, now I feel bad he's sitting most of the matches out.  Sheesh, it's never easy is it?
    Hugs,
    Liz

  53. Liz@ThisFullHouse Avatar

    My son isn't a starter in his weight range this year so it is a little easier to watch, Therese.  However, now I feel bad he's sitting most of the matches out.  Sheesh, it's never easy is it?
    Hugs,
    Liz

  54. Liz@ThisFullHouse Avatar

    My son isn't a starter in his weight range this year so it is a little easier to watch, Therese.  However, now I feel bad he's sitting most of the matches out.  Sheesh, it's never easy is it?
    Hugs,
    Liz

  55. Liz@ThisFullHouse Avatar

    My son isn't a starter in his weight range this year so it is a little easier to watch, Therese.  However, now I feel bad he's sitting most of the matches out.  Sheesh, it's never easy is it?
    Hugs,
    Liz

  56. Liz@ThisFullHouse Avatar

    My son isn't a starter in his weight range this year so it is a little easier to watch, Therese.  However, now I feel bad he's sitting most of the matches out.  Sheesh, it's never easy is it?
    Hugs,
    Liz