My husband, Garth (not his real name) had a local Chamber of Commerce thingy to attend last night and, considering it was held at one of our favorite pubs, I'm thinking perhaps it's high time I joined the Chamber of Commerce.
Clearly, those Chamber of Commerce folks know how to, you know, thingy.
Aaaaanyway, Garth (NHRN) and I have been feeling a little estranged, lately (okay, for the last 18 years) but not on purpose, or anything.
We have 4 kids. 3 of whom are teens. Enough said.
Aaaaanyhow, I thought it would be fun to send him a few flirtatious texts to, you know, shake his thingy up a bit.
So, I sent him this:
GARTH (NHRN): Hi
Hi? Really? That's it? Aaaand, I used my best flirty-grin and everything. Then, I thought maybe he's just in mixed company and/or overwhelmed by my breaking out the flirty-grin and everything.
So, I continue.
ME: You here by yourself?
GARTH (NHRN): No, So-and-So and What's-her-Face and Some-other-Dude are here. So-and-So said they are the few who showed. I'll be home around 8.
I just stared at the phone and you hear that noise? It's the sound of my confidence crashing to earth at the speed of, "Holy crap when I did get THIS old?"
ME: I was supposed to be hitting on you dopey. See previous text.
It took him a while to answer.
GARTH (NHRN): Where are you?
Aaaaand, I imagined him nervously looking around the pub wondering if I finally found the nerve to turn up wearing a trench coat and, you know, nothing else (IT COULD HAPPEN!)
ME: Home pretending, to be there, hitting on you. #FAIL
[one beat, two beats]
GARTH (NHRN): No one ever hits on me…I didn't know.
It's true. Poor guy has MARRIED WITH CHILDREN written all over him. Also, I like him that way.
Still, I continue.
ME: Sooooo, you come here often?
GARTH (NHRN): Love you…see you soon.
Aaaaand, THAT my friends is what married for nearly 22 years sounds like.
ME: Counting the minutes…
Or, flirtexting while under the influence of children.
Flash-forward to this morning, when my husband thrust his cell phone into my face and showed me this:
ME: Yeah, that's the woman you COULDA had, last night.
Okay, I really didn't say that, not out loud anyways.
GARTH (NHRN): I just didn't scroll down far enough passed the picture to see the text.
I mean, his cell phone IS a lot less new-ish, than mine.
GARTH (NHRN): So, I thought you might have changed your hair or something.
????
GARTH (NHRN): Aaaand I was going to get in trouble.
????
GARTH (NHRN): Because, you know, I didn't notice.
I then suggested he save the pic, you know, as a reference for next the time OR or at least until I get a trench coat…DAMMIT!
© 2003 – 2012 This Full House
Comments
120 responses to “Flirtexting: While Under the Influence of Children”
You and Garth (not his real name) are so cute! I should try doing that with my husband (married 19 years – not so many kids, but the issues are pretty much the same).
You and Garth (not his real name) are so cute! I should try doing that with my husband (married 19 years – not so many kids, but the issues are pretty much the same).
You and Garth (not his real name) are so cute! I should try doing that with my husband (married 19 years – not so many kids, but the issues are pretty much the same).
You and Garth (not his real name) are so cute! I should try doing that with my husband (married 19 years – not so many kids, but the issues are pretty much the same).
You and Garth (not his real name) are so cute! I should try doing that with my husband (married 19 years – not so many kids, but the issues are pretty much the same).
You and Garth (not his real name) are so cute! I should try doing that with my husband (married 19 years – not so many kids, but the issues are pretty much the same).
You and Garth (not his real name) are so cute! I should try doing that with my husband (married 19 years – not so many kids, but the issues are pretty much the same).
You and Garth (not his real name) are so cute! I should try doing that with my husband (married 19 years – not so many kids, but the issues are pretty much the same).
haha – I’ve only been married for 6 years and I’m pretty sure my husband would have the same response. Oh married life…even when you try to spice things up, it just won’t let you. 🙂
haha – I’ve only been married for 6 years and I’m pretty sure my husband would have the same response. Oh married life…even when you try to spice things up, it just won’t let you. 🙂
haha – I’ve only been married for 6 years and I’m pretty sure my husband would have the same response. Oh married life…even when you try to spice things up, it just won’t let you. 🙂
haha – I’ve only been married for 6 years and I’m pretty sure my husband would have the same response. Oh married life…even when you try to spice things up, it just won’t let you. 🙂
haha – I’ve only been married for 6 years and I’m pretty sure my husband would have the same response. Oh married life…even when you try to spice things up, it just won’t let you. 🙂
haha – I’ve only been married for 6 years and I’m pretty sure my husband would have the same response. Oh married life…even when you try to spice things up, it just won’t let you. 🙂
haha – I’ve only been married for 6 years and I’m pretty sure my husband would have the same response. Oh married life…even when you try to spice things up, it just won’t let you. 🙂
haha – I’ve only been married for 6 years and I’m pretty sure my husband would have the same response. Oh married life…even when you try to spice things up, it just won’t let you. 🙂
You could, Donna. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Probably. Okay, maybe you could text Garth (NHRN) too?!?
You could, Donna. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Probably. Okay, maybe you could text Garth (NHRN) too?!?
You could, Donna. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Probably. Okay, maybe you could text Garth (NHRN) too?!?
You could, Donna. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Probably. Okay, maybe you could text Garth (NHRN) too?!?
You could, Donna. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Probably. Okay, maybe you could text Garth (NHRN) too?!?
You could, Donna. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Probably. Okay, maybe you could text Garth (NHRN) too?!?
You could, Donna. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Probably. Okay, maybe you could text Garth (NHRN) too?!?
You could, Donna. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Probably. Okay, maybe you could text Garth (NHRN) too?!?
Poor Garth (NHRN), poor you. You would get better results putting that picture up on Facebook and having people like and comment on it 🙂
Poor Garth (NHRN), poor you. You would get better results putting that picture up on Facebook and having people like and comment on it 🙂
Poor Garth (NHRN), poor you. You would get better results putting that picture up on Facebook and having people like and comment on it 🙂
Poor Garth (NHRN), poor you. You would get better results putting that picture up on Facebook and having people like and comment on it 🙂
Poor Garth (NHRN), poor you. You would get better results putting that picture up on Facebook and having people like and comment on it 🙂
Poor Garth (NHRN), poor you. You would get better results putting that picture up on Facebook and having people like and comment on it 🙂
Poor Garth (NHRN), poor you. You would get better results putting that picture up on Facebook and having people like and comment on it 🙂
Poor Garth (NHRN), poor you. You would get better results putting that picture up on Facebook and having people like and comment on it 🙂
I know, right Liz?!? Hence, my drawer full of unmentionables that I shouldn't even have bothered mentioning considering I can't even tell you the last time Victoria Secret has seen the light of day, at our house anyways.
I know, right Liz?!? Hence, my drawer full of unmentionables that I shouldn't even have bothered mentioning considering I can't even tell you the last time Victoria Secret has seen the light of day, at our house anyways.
I know, right Liz?!? Hence, my drawer full of unmentionables that I shouldn't even have bothered mentioning considering I can't even tell you the last time Victoria Secret has seen the light of day, at our house anyways.
I know, right Liz?!? Hence, my drawer full of unmentionables that I shouldn't even have bothered mentioning considering I can't even tell you the last time Victoria Secret has seen the light of day, at our house anyways.
I know, right Liz?!? Hence, my drawer full of unmentionables that I shouldn't even have bothered mentioning considering I can't even tell you the last time Victoria Secret has seen the light of day, at our house anyways.
I know, right Liz?!? Hence, my drawer full of unmentionables that I shouldn't even have bothered mentioning considering I can't even tell you the last time Victoria Secret has seen the light of day, at our house anyways.
I know, right Liz?!? Hence, my drawer full of unmentionables that I shouldn't even have bothered mentioning considering I can't even tell you the last time Victoria Secret has seen the light of day, at our house anyways.
I know, right Liz?!? Hence, my drawer full of unmentionables that I shouldn't even have bothered mentioning considering I can't even tell you the last time Victoria Secret has seen the light of day, at our house anyways.
Hey, you know, Garth (NHRN) is on Facebook….on second thought…after 9 years of blogging, he STILL won't even let me use his real name and I can't say as I blame him, either.
Hey, you know, Garth (NHRN) is on Facebook….on second thought…after 9 years of blogging, he STILL won't even let me use his real name and I can't say as I blame him, either.
Hey, you know, Garth (NHRN) is on Facebook….on second thought…after 9 years of blogging, he STILL won't even let me use his real name and I can't say as I blame him, either.
Hey, you know, Garth (NHRN) is on Facebook….on second thought…after 9 years of blogging, he STILL won't even let me use his real name and I can't say as I blame him, either.
Hey, you know, Garth (NHRN) is on Facebook….on second thought…after 9 years of blogging, he STILL won't even let me use his real name and I can't say as I blame him, either.
Hey, you know, Garth (NHRN) is on Facebook….on second thought…after 9 years of blogging, he STILL won't even let me use his real name and I can't say as I blame him, either.
Hey, you know, Garth (NHRN) is on Facebook….on second thought…after 9 years of blogging, he STILL won't even let me use his real name and I can't say as I blame him, either.
Hey, you know, Garth (NHRN) is on Facebook….on second thought…after 9 years of blogging, he STILL won't even let me use his real name and I can't say as I blame him, either.
Yep, maybe wearing a shirt was a bad idea. 🙂
Yep, maybe wearing a shirt was a bad idea. 🙂
Yep, maybe wearing a shirt was a bad idea. 🙂
Yep, maybe wearing a shirt was a bad idea. 🙂
Yep, maybe wearing a shirt was a bad idea. 🙂
Yep, maybe wearing a shirt was a bad idea. 🙂
Yep, maybe wearing a shirt was a bad idea. 🙂
Yep, maybe wearing a shirt was a bad idea. 🙂
Hi Melisa,
Yes, maybe next time I'll make sure the kids aren't home and/or the garage will have, you know, warmed up enough.
Love,
I.M. Adork
Hi Melisa,
Yes, maybe next time I'll make sure the kids aren't home and/or the garage will have, you know, warmed up enough.
Love,
I.M. Adork
Hi Melisa,
Yes, maybe next time I'll make sure the kids aren't home and/or the garage will have, you know, warmed up enough.
Love,
I.M. Adork
Hi Melisa,
Yes, maybe next time I'll make sure the kids aren't home and/or the garage will have, you know, warmed up enough.
Love,
I.M. Adork
Hi Melisa,
Yes, maybe next time I'll make sure the kids aren't home and/or the garage will have, you know, warmed up enough.
Love,
I.M. Adork
Hi Melisa,
Yes, maybe next time I'll make sure the kids aren't home and/or the garage will have, you know, warmed up enough.
Love,
I.M. Adork
Hi Melisa,
Yes, maybe next time I'll make sure the kids aren't home and/or the garage will have, you know, warmed up enough.
Love,
I.M. Adork
Hi Melisa,
Yes, maybe next time I'll make sure the kids aren't home and/or the garage will have, you know, warmed up enough.
Love,
I.M. Adork
Can I say I absolutely adore this post? I mean I can relate to it and how! We’ve been married 26 years and have two girls, just about 18 and 21. Whenever we kiss in front of them it’s like, wait a minute, you two remember how to kiss???? Flirting and being romantic, even innocently romantic, in front of kids can be kind of a mood buster. But, I must say I’d like to try this once with the hubby.
Can I say I absolutely adore this post? I mean I can relate to it and how! We’ve been married 26 years and have two girls, just about 18 and 21. Whenever we kiss in front of them it’s like, wait a minute, you two remember how to kiss???? Flirting and being romantic, even innocently romantic, in front of kids can be kind of a mood buster. But, I must say I’d like to try this once with the hubby.
Can I say I absolutely adore this post? I mean I can relate to it and how! We’ve been married 26 years and have two girls, just about 18 and 21. Whenever we kiss in front of them it’s like, wait a minute, you two remember how to kiss???? Flirting and being romantic, even innocently romantic, in front of kids can be kind of a mood buster. But, I must say I’d like to try this once with the hubby.
Can I say I absolutely adore this post? I mean I can relate to it and how! We’ve been married 26 years and have two girls, just about 18 and 21. Whenever we kiss in front of them it’s like, wait a minute, you two remember how to kiss???? Flirting and being romantic, even innocently romantic, in front of kids can be kind of a mood buster. But, I must say I’d like to try this once with the hubby.
Can I say I absolutely adore this post? I mean I can relate to it and how! We’ve been married 26 years and have two girls, just about 18 and 21. Whenever we kiss in front of them it’s like, wait a minute, you two remember how to kiss???? Flirting and being romantic, even innocently romantic, in front of kids can be kind of a mood buster. But, I must say I’d like to try this once with the hubby.
Can I say I absolutely adore this post? I mean I can relate to it and how! We’ve been married 26 years and have two girls, just about 18 and 21. Whenever we kiss in front of them it’s like, wait a minute, you two remember how to kiss???? Flirting and being romantic, even innocently romantic, in front of kids can be kind of a mood buster. But, I must say I’d like to try this once with the hubby.
Can I say I absolutely adore this post? I mean I can relate to it and how! We’ve been married 26 years and have two girls, just about 18 and 21. Whenever we kiss in front of them it’s like, wait a minute, you two remember how to kiss???? Flirting and being romantic, even innocently romantic, in front of kids can be kind of a mood buster. But, I must say I’d like to try this once with the hubby.
Can I say I absolutely adore this post? I mean I can relate to it and how! We’ve been married 26 years and have two girls, just about 18 and 21. Whenever we kiss in front of them it’s like, wait a minute, you two remember how to kiss???? Flirting and being romantic, even innocently romantic, in front of kids can be kind of a mood buster. But, I must say I’d like to try this once with the hubby.
It's so nice to have you visit! We find ourselves reminding our kids that we weren't always so gray and, well, you know. And when we kiss….ewwwwwww…SO GROSS!
Hugs,
Liz
It's so nice to have you visit! We find ourselves reminding our kids that we weren't always so gray and, well, you know. And when we kiss….ewwwwwww…SO GROSS!
Hugs,
Liz
It's so nice to have you visit! We find ourselves reminding our kids that we weren't always so gray and, well, you know. And when we kiss….ewwwwwww…SO GROSS!
Hugs,
Liz
It's so nice to have you visit! We find ourselves reminding our kids that we weren't always so gray and, well, you know. And when we kiss….ewwwwwww…SO GROSS!
Hugs,
Liz
It's so nice to have you visit! We find ourselves reminding our kids that we weren't always so gray and, well, you know. And when we kiss….ewwwwwww…SO GROSS!
Hugs,
Liz
It's so nice to have you visit! We find ourselves reminding our kids that we weren't always so gray and, well, you know. And when we kiss….ewwwwwww…SO GROSS!
Hugs,
Liz
It's so nice to have you visit! We find ourselves reminding our kids that we weren't always so gray and, well, you know. And when we kiss….ewwwwwww…SO GROSS!
Hugs,
Liz
It's so nice to have you visit! We find ourselves reminding our kids that we weren't always so gray and, well, you know. And when we kiss….ewwwwwww…SO GROSS!
Hugs,
Liz
OMG this post had me laughing til my stomach hurt! Poor Garth (NHRN)! He must have been SO confused by it all! bwahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes)
Chris and I have been together since 1985, which means pretty much forEVER, and we sometimes do a little mild flirting over MSN Messenger chat when he’s about ready to leave work. Yeah, we still got it (if we don’t get too tired first).
And we kiss in front of the kids all the time, although they always jump up and run out of the room. But I think it’s important to model good marriage behavior, like still wanting to kiss after a bazillion years together!
OMG this post had me laughing til my stomach hurt! Poor Garth (NHRN)! He must have been SO confused by it all! bwahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes)
Chris and I have been together since 1985, which means pretty much forEVER, and we sometimes do a little mild flirting over MSN Messenger chat when he’s about ready to leave work. Yeah, we still got it (if we don’t get too tired first).
And we kiss in front of the kids all the time, although they always jump up and run out of the room. But I think it’s important to model good marriage behavior, like still wanting to kiss after a bazillion years together!
OMG this post had me laughing til my stomach hurt! Poor Garth (NHRN)! He must have been SO confused by it all! bwahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes)
Chris and I have been together since 1985, which means pretty much forEVER, and we sometimes do a little mild flirting over MSN Messenger chat when he’s about ready to leave work. Yeah, we still got it (if we don’t get too tired first).
And we kiss in front of the kids all the time, although they always jump up and run out of the room. But I think it’s important to model good marriage behavior, like still wanting to kiss after a bazillion years together!
OMG this post had me laughing til my stomach hurt! Poor Garth (NHRN)! He must have been SO confused by it all! bwahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes)
Chris and I have been together since 1985, which means pretty much forEVER, and we sometimes do a little mild flirting over MSN Messenger chat when he’s about ready to leave work. Yeah, we still got it (if we don’t get too tired first).
And we kiss in front of the kids all the time, although they always jump up and run out of the room. But I think it’s important to model good marriage behavior, like still wanting to kiss after a bazillion years together!
OMG this post had me laughing til my stomach hurt! Poor Garth (NHRN)! He must have been SO confused by it all! bwahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes)
Chris and I have been together since 1985, which means pretty much forEVER, and we sometimes do a little mild flirting over MSN Messenger chat when he’s about ready to leave work. Yeah, we still got it (if we don’t get too tired first).
And we kiss in front of the kids all the time, although they always jump up and run out of the room. But I think it’s important to model good marriage behavior, like still wanting to kiss after a bazillion years together!
OMG this post had me laughing til my stomach hurt! Poor Garth (NHRN)! He must have been SO confused by it all! bwahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes)
Chris and I have been together since 1985, which means pretty much forEVER, and we sometimes do a little mild flirting over MSN Messenger chat when he’s about ready to leave work. Yeah, we still got it (if we don’t get too tired first).
And we kiss in front of the kids all the time, although they always jump up and run out of the room. But I think it’s important to model good marriage behavior, like still wanting to kiss after a bazillion years together!
OMG this post had me laughing til my stomach hurt! Poor Garth (NHRN)! He must have been SO confused by it all! bwahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes)
Chris and I have been together since 1985, which means pretty much forEVER, and we sometimes do a little mild flirting over MSN Messenger chat when he’s about ready to leave work. Yeah, we still got it (if we don’t get too tired first).
And we kiss in front of the kids all the time, although they always jump up and run out of the room. But I think it’s important to model good marriage behavior, like still wanting to kiss after a bazillion years together!
OMG this post had me laughing til my stomach hurt! Poor Garth (NHRN)! He must have been SO confused by it all! bwahahahaha! (wiping tears from eyes)
Chris and I have been together since 1985, which means pretty much forEVER, and we sometimes do a little mild flirting over MSN Messenger chat when he’s about ready to leave work. Yeah, we still got it (if we don’t get too tired first).
And we kiss in front of the kids all the time, although they always jump up and run out of the room. But I think it’s important to model good marriage behavior, like still wanting to kiss after a bazillion years together!
That is so funny. You two are adorable.
That is so funny. You two are adorable.
That is so funny. You two are adorable.
That is so funny. You two are adorable.
That is so funny. You two are adorable.
That is so funny. You two are adorable.
That is so funny. You two are adorable.
That is so funny. You two are adorable.
That is hilarious!!
My husband sends me flirty facebook messages when he is gone overnight, but I’m no good at flirt typing, so it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I need to try sending him a picture.
I’m not ready to get a trench coat yet (hey, we’ve only been married 10 years – I’m thinking 25 is the trench coat year).
That is hilarious!!
My husband sends me flirty facebook messages when he is gone overnight, but I’m no good at flirt typing, so it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I need to try sending him a picture.
I’m not ready to get a trench coat yet (hey, we’ve only been married 10 years – I’m thinking 25 is the trench coat year).
That is hilarious!!
My husband sends me flirty facebook messages when he is gone overnight, but I’m no good at flirt typing, so it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I need to try sending him a picture.
I’m not ready to get a trench coat yet (hey, we’ve only been married 10 years – I’m thinking 25 is the trench coat year).
That is hilarious!!
My husband sends me flirty facebook messages when he is gone overnight, but I’m no good at flirt typing, so it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I need to try sending him a picture.
I’m not ready to get a trench coat yet (hey, we’ve only been married 10 years – I’m thinking 25 is the trench coat year).
That is hilarious!!
My husband sends me flirty facebook messages when he is gone overnight, but I’m no good at flirt typing, so it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I need to try sending him a picture.
I’m not ready to get a trench coat yet (hey, we’ve only been married 10 years – I’m thinking 25 is the trench coat year).
That is hilarious!!
My husband sends me flirty facebook messages when he is gone overnight, but I’m no good at flirt typing, so it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I need to try sending him a picture.
I’m not ready to get a trench coat yet (hey, we’ve only been married 10 years – I’m thinking 25 is the trench coat year).
That is hilarious!!
My husband sends me flirty facebook messages when he is gone overnight, but I’m no good at flirt typing, so it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I need to try sending him a picture.
I’m not ready to get a trench coat yet (hey, we’ve only been married 10 years – I’m thinking 25 is the trench coat year).
That is hilarious!!
My husband sends me flirty facebook messages when he is gone overnight, but I’m no good at flirt typing, so it doesn’t work very well. Maybe I need to try sending him a picture.
I’m not ready to get a trench coat yet (hey, we’ve only been married 10 years – I’m thinking 25 is the trench coat year).
That conversation would be considered hot and heavy in this house! Also, I don’t want my husband to notice when I get my hair done, because I can assure you that he would think it was way too often.
That conversation would be considered hot and heavy in this house! Also, I don’t want my husband to notice when I get my hair done, because I can assure you that he would think it was way too often.
That conversation would be considered hot and heavy in this house! Also, I don’t want my husband to notice when I get my hair done, because I can assure you that he would think it was way too often.
That conversation would be considered hot and heavy in this house! Also, I don’t want my husband to notice when I get my hair done, because I can assure you that he would think it was way too often.
That conversation would be considered hot and heavy in this house! Also, I don’t want my husband to notice when I get my hair done, because I can assure you that he would think it was way too often.
That conversation would be considered hot and heavy in this house! Also, I don’t want my husband to notice when I get my hair done, because I can assure you that he would think it was way too often.
That conversation would be considered hot and heavy in this house! Also, I don’t want my husband to notice when I get my hair done, because I can assure you that he would think it was way too often.
That conversation would be considered hot and heavy in this house! Also, I don’t want my husband to notice when I get my hair done, because I can assure you that he would think it was way too often.
Hey Momo! Someone recently asked me what my natural hair color was. Enough said.
Hey Momo! Someone recently asked me what my natural hair color was. Enough said.
Hey Momo! Someone recently asked me what my natural hair color was. Enough said.
Hey Momo! Someone recently asked me what my natural hair color was. Enough said.
Hey Momo! Someone recently asked me what my natural hair color was. Enough said.
Hey Momo! Someone recently asked me what my natural hair color was. Enough said.
Hey Momo! Someone recently asked me what my natural hair color was. Enough said.
Hey Momo! Someone recently asked me what my natural hair color was. Enough said.